getting out of debt (7/8) [Archive] - MotheringDotCommunity Forums

Piglet68

07-09-2004, 04:23 PM

Wanted to report that DH and I had an excellent "meeting" about finances this past weekend, when DD had gone to bed.

We are moving back home in late August (I'm finishing my job and will be a SAHM for DD and baby) and it's DH's turn to "bring home the bacon". DH quit his career two years ago b/c he hated it, even though he was bringing in a hefty salary with great benefits. He turned to investing, and has been slowly making a go of this, but it wasn't enough. I went back to work last fall and he is SAHD, still doing the investing biz on the side. But with this baby coming, I won't be working again for at least a year (he PROMISED me that before we started TTC, that I could have a year, and if he had to go back to his old hated profession, he would).

We're selling a property in September, at which point we will be almost totally debt-free. I wanted to set some ground rules, since the last time we went back home we spent all our savings and got ourselves deep into debt due to lack of a "plan", awareness of our spending, and total lack of communication.

We agreed that the profits of the property will pay off both my CC's and the car. DH's credit cards are now in repayment mode, having negotiated with both of them. He wants to keep making the monthly payments since there is no interest accruing anymore. I explained that while it may be "free money" (he's an investor and he'd rather use that extra money to make more money) I told him that the psychological burden of having that debt over us was more than I could bear, after this brutal last 10 months we've been through. He agreed that was important and we struck up a deal. If he can make a certain amount by Sept 1 via his investing, he gets a three month "extension" on his CC payments. However, if he hasn't made that much, they get paid off. The three months deal gets renewed each time. And, that money is on top of the regular minimum monthly income we agreed that he must bring in. Frankly, I don't think he's going to make it, so I'm pretty sure I negotiated to get that paid off :D . But if he does make it, that is not the worst news, b/c it means his investing biz is picking up, and he still has to keep this up every three months, lol.

The only other debt we have is my student loans, which only have about a year or two left on them. I would really like to pay those off too, but we'll see. The interest is really low, and you can get a six-month break from payments if your income drops.

We also agreed on a limit to how long we will finance our relocation for, before DH has to start looking elsewhere for a good-paying job. The options are rather limited back home, and at this point we're not sure how much he can make. We both want this move to be permanent, but I am also determined that we don't make the same mistakes again. We settled on 3 months. If, by that time, he is not pulling in the minimum we agreed upon, we must go wherever he can get a decent-paying job. Even if it means going back to his old profession. And...the minimum I negotiated is not poverty-level. I expect a minimum level of comfort and standard of living. :)

So I am feeling SOOOO much better. I cannot tell you how stressed I was. And DH was so good about how I felt, etc. I'm feeling positive. Let's just hope we can make it there!!

kerc

07-10-2004, 08:42 AM

piglet I really like the compromises you and your dh made. I think they seem financially savy and at the same time try to meet both of your needs.

ashcox

07-10-2004, 11:23 AM

I just noticed that there was at least one other getting out of debt topic but I'm new and wasn't sure which to post on so I thought I 'd try this. I feel so bogged down by our debt right now and it's such a rotten feeling. I am trying so hard to get us out of it the best I can, mainly to just get where we are paying everything ON TIME again. Any suggestions on just getting started are so very welcome. We are currently working on it-we're canceling our phone line (just use cell phones that we'd have to pay a fee to get out of), we're canceling internet, we're getting a car that will have lower payments (i'd rather just get rid of the car but it doesn't look like a possibility), i'm sewing DDs diapers and a lot of her clothes, but I need suggestions on anything else I can do. Good luck to all you other mammas trying to live debt free! :)

JesseMomme

07-10-2004, 03:56 PM

I should so be on this thread, but I've been in denial lol. May I join in? :1praying:

thistle

07-10-2004, 05:50 PM

I'm new on this thread too.

Well, our only debt other than mortgage is MY student loans, but they are doozies. Right now I am only paying on one of them b/c it is all we can afford. I have shuffled things a bit and should be able to start paying on a second one soon. My mom died several years ago and her house is just now going on the market since my sis had been living there. That wont bring in a lot (has to be split 6 ways), but will be enough to completely eliminate one SL and get us a newer car w/o debt. Our current car is a 1992.

Good news is we DO have an emergency fund. Some of it got spent on vacation (before I made a separate vacation acct) and I am working hard to get the E-fund back up to where I feel comfortable. We dont have credit cards so this is an absolute MUST for us, we have no other backup.

Our problem is our income is so low. It is less than 50% of the median Family income in our area. It makes it hard to get ahead. DH works for the state, so he can't ask for a raise. He has applied for other jobs as they have become available and has moved up once, but they are few and far between. He's going to need a Masters to get much higher. He's looking into it- but slowly.

thistle

ashcox

07-11-2004, 03:07 PM

I know I'm new on this list and have only posted once but I am really excited about what happened yesterday and wanted to share. :love We traded down to a different car (truck actuslly) that will be about $30 less/month AND our car insurance went down. AND since I had an extended warranty on the previous car and we were still under the factory warranty I am going to get most if not all of that back and we'll be able to get everything current and pay off one credit card completely!!!! Yea!!! :jumpers: I feel so much better. Just wanted to share a little success! :)

Piglet68

07-12-2004, 11:24 AM

That's fabulous, ashcox!! :thumb

Peppermint

07-13-2004, 05:54 PM

Welcome to the new ladies posting here, no one WANTS to join a thread like this, but admitting you are in serious debt and that you NEED to find a way out is the most important part- then it's all about staying with it, being supported (like here), and at least making no new debt, and hopefully making steps to pay off debt :thumb .

I have been doing well with my ebay business lately, and with babysitting for the summer, I am helping out more, any other SAHMs on the thread find this esp. hard, feeling like you have little control? I mean, I have always paid the bills and done the shopping, but *I* need to make some money too, to feel like I am really contributing to getting us out of this debt (as if washing cloth diapers and BFing weren't enough ;) ).

I have decided that I will have a goal to make $400/month to put toward debt. On a normal week I make $60 on ebay, and during the school year I make $40 for babysitting, so, that should do it, and dh is designing more stuff for me to sell on ebay too, so that number *may* go up, but I am not banking on it. Right now, we put about $500 toward debt a month (CC debt that is), so, with $900 a month we should be out of debt in just over 2 years, that is not counting any tax returns or good months in business, etc. (because of course those will be used up with unexpected car costs, etc., yk? I have to start remembering that) Also, after next March, we will be down to one car payment, possibly no car payment if dh can find another job where I could drive him to work.

So- I am feeling better about it all again, and I am still staying strong on not spending. For example- we have an old table for our deck, but no chairs for it, I would like to go get the cheapo plastic white ones, which are only like $4 a piece- so $16 bucks? NO! We can bring lawn chairs out from the front porch, and even kitchen chairs if need be- we DON'T NEED CHEAPO WHITE PLASTIC CHAIRS!

OK, time for everyone to report in what they are doing/ have done this week toward their goal. Let's hear it ladies! (my dh is so glad for this thread too).

MaryLang

07-13-2004, 06:52 PM

Can I join you ladies too?
I have just taken over the budget as it appears my DH hadn't been keeping on top of things. And boy is it a mess!!! I have been going crazy the last two weeks. I am a SAHM and my DH has a pretty good job, but things are getting a little out of hand trying to pay off these CC's. I've been trying to find ways to make money myself, but have come up with nothing. I never had a "real career", I have always worked at a greenhouse (well, for the past 7 yrs.), so I don't really have much to fall back on. And I can not see myself getting a job right now. My DD is 6months old and won't even let my parents hold her most of the time, let alone leave her anywhere. Well, anyways, I just thought I had a hold on things and as it turns out one of the CC bills never came, but is due in a week (my dh called to find out what was going on), now I have to find a way to come up with 600 bucks, but realistically can only pay 200, so I guess they're just going to have to wait for the rest. I just don't know what else to do. I am glad that now I know whats going on with our money, I just really wish I had taken over a few months ago before things got so out of hand.
My dh has always had a bad CC habit and I think that is taking over again. So I need to nip it in the bud. So far I have a pretty good system going. I have a notebook that I use to keep track of the bills with. One column for date due, bill name, and amount. I also have a little pocket calendar that I use to correspond the notebook to. It just gives me a good view at a glance. I hope in a couple months I can start putting a little away in savings, I just can't stand the feeling that there isn't a cent to fall back on. And we just got a "new" washer and dryer this week. I found some used for a hundred dollars each, but had to borrow the money from my mom, :( .
Well, thanks for letting me vent, if I don't find someone to tell all this to, I'll start bringing it up to my mother and she'll start freaking out.

bamboogrrrl

07-14-2004, 08:10 AM

Welcome newbies! It's definitely half the battle to recognize the debt and begin to fight back.

Mary, you sound pretty durn organized! I wish I was that together when I was your age (soooo feeling my age lately - 37 - ack!). And it's great to work on reigning in your dh.

Jess, that is huge...being able to almost double the money going toward your debt. The light at the end of the tunnel must be a bit brighter now. Two years is no time at all to be out of debt (and with windfalls and if your business grows, it could be sooner!). Selling on ebay is something I'd defnitely like to explore more in the future, but I don't have a digital camera yet. I DO sell books on amazon.com and that has been going well - about $1k so far this year in addition to my university admin. gig. It's been like getting a 5-10% raise.

thistle: Your student loan lender should have something called "income contingent repayment" where they can only take a small percentage of your salary if it's below a certain level. You can also get them deferred because of hardship... Not making payments on your loan can lead to default, which will follow you around ickily on your credit report, so make sure they are deferred (stepping down off soapbox...).

As a sidebar... I've been hanging around MDC since hipmama.com crashed and burned way back when. DH and I have been dealing with primary infertility for over two years (still hoping for that miracle after one early m/c...), and I'm realizing just how much infertility could impact us financially (and detrimentally) depending on how far I pursue it. My current ob/gyn is a participating doctor in my health insurance, but we don't exactly see eye to eye on the next step to take. So I need to start seeing a doctor outside my plan (cha-ching), an RE possibly (cha-ching)...and on and on. I am 37 and dh is 49, and we live in a rapidly changing (getting more expensive by the second) part of the world and make small salaries. If we had to buy a house now where we live, we'd live in a tool shed! Anyway, it's sad and interesting to see how infertility may impact our financial lives... I hate to think about it that way.

Peppermint

07-14-2004, 08:41 AM

bamboogrrrl

I am sorry about your struggles, it sure does put the debt thing in perspective- if your fertility treatment puts you further in debt- I say, that's good debt :thumb I would pay any amount of money for my children, as would most parents. I will be praying for you (hope that doesn't offend).

bamboogrrrl

07-14-2004, 10:20 AM

Jess, thanks so much for your prayers. They are much appreciated despite my pagan leanings.

While this is probably fodder for another conversation elsewhere, our situation probably doesn't warrant us spending many many thousands of dollars to have kids. DH is way late in the preparing for retirement game. It was only at my instigation that he began a Roth IRA at all. He is too old now to pursue domestic adoption, and shelling out in excess of $35,000+ in overseas adoption fees is a little alarming given our salaries. Not to say that any of this is impossible, just cause for deep breathing and a lot of forethought.

In the meantime, I'm working to eliminate our last debt (our mortgage) in order to free us up for what the future may bring us fertility-wise...

MaryLang

07-14-2004, 11:20 AM

I am so sorry bambogrrl. I may not know the story, but here in Michigan 49 isn't too old my dad is 50 and my parents adopted a baby two years ago. They did it through fostering, so I don't know if that makes a differance. They are fostering two right now that are being adopted by a couple older than them. I'll pray too. Before we had dd, we were going through infertility, we tried for 3 yrs before getting pregnant and suffered through a few m/c's. I think thats the hardest thing for someone to go through.

witch's mom

07-14-2004, 11:56 AM

I can only comment on fertility treatments to say that I researched and wrote a story for publication about a woman who was a surrogate mother for some friends, and it is remarkable all the things they can do with science. But, yes, terribly expensive . . . and such an emotional roller coaster. I followed the families for over a year . . . it really was an incredible journey, for me included.

On the debt subject, it's not a good day here. It's grocery day, and in looking at the checking account balance, I'm realizing that we're in bad shape. I'm going to have to transfer money OUT of savings if we're going to eat this week, pay the minimum house payment (goal is to pay $200 extra principal each month, but that won't be happening this month), the (new) insurance and buy the goods for little DD's birthday party. Sigh.

On the proactive front, though, I just printed out the bank statement and I'm going to go through and itemize every single damn expense to see where the leaks are. I know I've had trouble keeping the grocery bill down. We also had some misfortune with the car: brake pads ($175 in-home garage job by DH) and a couple entertainment expenses we could've skipped. But I'm going to delve into it during quiet time this afternoon and see if I can't get to the bottom of it. I suspect a lot of the problem might be gasoline, which is $2.20 a gallon in California right now and we drive too far in cars that only get about 24 mpg.

Piglet68

07-15-2004, 12:56 PM

Hi Mary! And welcome.

re: your $600 CC bill....do call them. they really can be very accomodating if you just tell them up front "look, I can't pay it all this month". We did this with DH's credit cards and were amazed at some of the deals we negotiated. With one, we closed the account and asked it to be sent to their "recovery" department. It hasn't gone on DH's credit record b/c he is dealing with them from the start, AND now we are not being charged any interest! He is a really good negotiator, lol.

We're having a good month so far. We're ahead of the game for once, largely due to the increase in my paycheck this month by adding our expected child to our tax credits (less tax being withheld). We are halfway through July...in two months our property will sell (we've been in contact with the buyer again and all is still on!) and we should be out of most of this hole.

The one bummer is I called Student Loans to see how much I had left owing. The provincial loan was a bit lower than I thought - less than $2k, but the federal part was almost double what I thought it was - just over $12k. So we will not be paying that off. Probably will pay off the provincial one though, since it's so small. It's not so bad since the interest is low and if our income drops down we can get a six-month repreive on payments...but still it was a bit depressing. At the current rate it will take until early 2011 to pay off the federal one...so we'll have to take care of that at some later date.

angel04345

07-15-2004, 01:31 PM

Well, not a lot to report. I don't think! and :hola: all new moms!!! I did bills today and payed a little extra on everything. (just a little of course!) We will be nearly all out of debt the end of this year at the rate I am going! :thumb
Piglet I am SOOO glad that things are looking up for you even if its not all :sunshine and roses! Its still getting somewhere. I heard this one day and I thought it would be especially good for this thread! Remember not to lock your budget up so tightly that you can't enjoy yourselves today! For that will set yourselves up for failure! Well Alicia is waking got to go!

witch's mom

07-15-2004, 03:13 PM

I sat down yesterday with the bank statement and was horrified. Working with highlighter pens, I lined out gas, groceries, eating out, repairs, plus all the regular bills. I definitely found the leaks. In the past month, even as I've posted on this thread about REDUCING the grocery bill, we spent--sit down, everyone--$980. THAT'S ALMOST A THOUSAND DOLLARS! If this is how we did when I was WATCHING it, I can only imagine how much was flying out the door BEFORE we were watching it. I swear we've cut the bill in half in the past month . . .

We also spent $355 on gas, $127 on eating out and $200 on repairs (car and stove).

For this, we're roasting away every afternoon because we're afraid of the utility bill!

So yesterday I threw out my values and did the WEEKLY grocery shopping at Winco, someplace I've been reluctant to go because I like to buy organic and I'm just against these big cheap corporations selling tasteless, low-quality food. But I spent only $53 and a lot of what I got is the same stuff I often buy at our local grocery store. Then I went to our local grocery store and spent $20 on organic meat, fish and DH's blasted soda (which I forgot at Winco). I stayed right in town, no driving to that faraway co-op.

Now I'm trying to throw a birthday party for DD for less than $100, including party favors, art project materials and food. Anybody got any ideas for the CHEAPEST place to pick up some plain white shirts?

kathsmom

07-15-2004, 06:50 PM

Witch's Mom,

I need to do what you are doing with checking into where everything is going. I have an LLBean VISA card and they send me a statement at the end of the year as to how much I have spent and where it went. Oh, boy, is that eye opening! I could not believe how much we spent on eating out last year!

For the t-shirts for your DD's party, could you go to Target and pick up one of those packs of 3 white undershirts in the boy's department? When my DD was in preschool, that is what the teachers requested when they needed t-shirts for arts and crafts projects. Good luck with the party! I know how hard it can be to throw a party inexpensively.

As far as how we are doing, I paid a big chunk on the credit card last month. DH is a salesman and some big sales have gone through (thank goodness) and we are hopefully going to pay off the credit card. The next item to pay off is my car, followed by the home equity line of credit.

Sorry I haven't been around for a while. I am trying to catch up. DS ended up getting a virus that was not bad, but was enough to make him miserable for 2 weeks. It turned into double ear infections. I also had to take DD in the same day as DS, and she had an ear infection. That afternoon, DH and I went to the doctor - he had a bad sinus infection and I had bronchitis. We left 3 days after our diagnoses to go see DH's sister. She has cancer and her youngest child is going off to college, so we wanted to see them and her DH.

Good luck to everyone! Welcome to the new members of the "G.O.O.D. Club" (Get Out Of Debt Club!).

Piglet68

07-16-2004, 11:08 AM

Kathsmom, sorry your kids were so sick! But hey....that's a GREAT anacronym for our club. The "GOOD Club"...I love it!! :thumb

witch's mom...holy COW. I cannot believe you spent that much on groceries, LOL! how many are in your family? before DH and I had kids, we used to buy pricey gourmet foods, shopped only at Bread and Circus (whole foods market) - my mother went nuts when she visited us and saw the prices....and still I doubt we spent that much!! :D (i hope you know i'm teasing you...!)

Still, I think it's great that you know where your money is going. Like you said, it puts your efforts in perspective. You want to make sure you channel that energy to the right places!!

Well, I have a good report today. There was a pile of receipts waiting to be recorded on our monthly budget sheet (we have been putting ALL receipts in a little box and tallying them up on a monthly sheet so we always know exactly how much we've spent and what is left for the month)....and I was worried about how we'd fare. Well, we did great!! They were mostly small amounts... anyways, we are halfway through the month and have DOUBLE what we usually have left over at this point. And that is AFTER paying off the bit we dipped into in our overdraft account last month. DH is going to get a haircut tomorrow ($25), and I think we may celebrate by going out for sushi ($30)!! :banana

So, assuming we don't go overboard with confidence for the next two weeks, we should have at LEAST $100 left over at the end of the month. In my "old ways" I would look around for something I wanted to buy and spend it, lol. BUT...you ladies have been such an inspiration. So instead, I'm determined to put it as an extra payment on my credit card. I'll be sure to post and let you know if I did it (now that I'm saying this, it should help me keep my resolve!).

Also, we had to renew our car insurance (from BC, Canada) but we are out of the province until next month, so we had to buy 3 months at once and had to use our credit card to pay for it (total $388). So, it will be good to pay a bit extra this month towards that. AND....I'm also inspired by you ladies to NOT consider next month's regular payment as "done". In other words, had our insurance kept going as usual, we would have had $125 taken out of our account. Since it's paid, that won't happen, so I am going to put that $125 onto my CC instead. That way, the balance on my CC should not end up being much more than it was before we bought the insurance. Again, I'm going to try to stick to my resolve on this...

I'm SO grateful for this thread!!! :love

witch's mom

07-16-2004, 12:24 PM

Peppermint

07-16-2004, 12:39 PM

I love :love the GOOD club! :)

Piglet- that is GREAT! I am glad we are all keeping each other inspired (or as the Dr. Phil in me would say, "accountable").

witch's mom- all I can say about the groceries is that it is soooo good that you figured it out now, and can put a plan in place to make changes :thumb , are you sure you didn't add an extra 0 in the calculator? ;)

I am shopping for private health insurance, wondering if there is something better out there.

bamboogrrrl

07-16-2004, 02:56 PM

Witch's mom: Way to go, grrl! Isn't it weird how you can't even see the leaks until you start to keep track of where the money goes?

My GOOD deed of the day? I had found out about a cheaper garbage service for dh's business to the tune of about $10/month. Doesn't sound like much, but that's $120/year. Called and canceled current dumpster. They will take it away at the end of the month. Realized that we don't really need the new service until maybe October. So that's at least two months of saving about $65/month.

LizD

07-16-2004, 03:22 PM

A week before this baby was born my husband got up, showered and trimmed his beard and said, "I'm going to the bank." Hmm, thought I, we don't have any deposits to make, why? 'I'm going to apply for a home equity loan." o-kay. We got a bit less than we applied for, but he was laid off after the terrorist attacks and we still struggle under that CC debt that accumulated. We had just bought this house, too, and I had left my job. So the home equity loan has been a big help. It's still debt of course but those CCs are so sneaky, they raise the interest rate as quietly as they legally can, and some of them had climbed quite high. So those are gone, gone, gone. There is still more but at least the worst are gone and we can now qualify for new cards to play the balance transfer game on those that are left, while paying them off. Also plan to refinance student loans. They are only four percent but I have seen offers for 2 or less. We thought of trading in one of the cars for a larger one, now we have two kids, but decided not to, for now. They are almost paid off and why get further into debt? We have some property in PA to sell and that will take care of the rest of the debt as well as some left over for our new house someday. After years of struggling with this it seems finally to be coming together!

A&A

07-16-2004, 05:16 PM

Yes, Piglet, the grocery bill was horrendous--and I don't mind your teasing at all. I actually do not even WANT anyone to commiserate with me about the grocery bill because it's just so clearly outrageous that no one should be spending that kind of money for something you don't even KEEP. We're a family of four, and I counted in "grocery" anything we bought at the local grocery store, Costco, Trader Joe's, the natural foods co-op, the farmers market and the berry patch. So the figure includes pet food, paper products, deoderant and shampoo, prescriptions. The scariest part for me was the fact that this is what we spent when we were on a reduction plan. I'm not EVEN going to go back and look at previous months. I'd be sick.

Congratulations to all of you who are making strikes. This is GOOD!

I have spent that much in a month for the four of us, counting all of the things you listed. (Counting the bread I buy at the local bakery, and the milk at the local dairy, etc.)

I would really caution all of you about getting a home equity loan, especially to pay off credit cards. That means you're trading UNSECURED DEBT (nothing they can take away from you), for SECURED DEBT (they could take away your house.) Why make that trade? The benefits are just not worth the risk. Besides, a home equity loan does not address the reasons you got into debt in the first place.

CarrieMF

07-16-2004, 07:10 PM

Hi, I'm new here but not to debt reduction.

I started budgeting again a year ago, it is much easier to budget when you have no choice than when you have a little leeway. :angry

In the last year we have paid off my small student loan and our old coop(Grocery store) card.

We keep paying down the cc and then keep maxing it out again, hmmm actually looking at my budget over the last year our cc went from 7700 to 10200(10300 twice). Alot of that has been my business.

Our line of credit stays the same.

Our car loan has decreased by almost 4000, but in May dh had to buy a new truck. The loan is only 7000 though.

Our mortgage has gone down around 4200.

Our mortgage has 7 years left, car has 4, truck has 5, student loan has 2(depending on how much we can pay off with income tax)

We have a border who pays $400/month and dh just got a $400/month raise yesterday.

Our cc and loc are the worst, we just can't get them paid down. We have been doing better the last month and have hardly used it at all. Dh went on 1 trip and we went on a trip together without touching it. I am going away at the end of the month and if $ stays as it is I won't have to touch it then either.

witch's mom

07-16-2004, 09:04 PM

[QUOTE=A&A]I have spent that much in a month for the four of us, counting all of the things you listed. (Counting the bread I buy at the local bakery, and the milk at the local dairy, etc.)

Now, I don't intend to hijack this thread and turn it into a Saving Money on Groceries thread (there are plenty of those in the archives), but I gotta say, after being at Winco Foods the other day, the difference in price between peaches, for example, was significant. 58 cents a pound at Winco versus 1.99 a pound at the farmers market versus 2.99 a pound at the natural foods co-op. The difference? Nonorganic, shipped from who knows where (Winco), nonorganic but locally grown (farmers market) and organic locally grown (co-op). We strive to eat healthfully and responsibly, but that seems to cost $1,000 a month.

kerc

07-18-2004, 09:52 AM

witch's mom (and anyone else looking to cut their grocery bill). several suggestions:
1. watch what you're throwing away uneaten -- i.e. are you tossing the ends of celery, a few carrots and lettuce when it gets mushy? could you use those bits for something -- organic veggie stock for instance that you could then freeze.

2. buy in season produce - organic or not, it is usually mucho cheaper to buy in season.

3. if you're like me and live in a northern climate where "in season" is like 3 weeks a year -- buy frozen fruits. Blueberries for instance -- cheaper to buy frozen for cereal than fresh. and you can likely get organic frozen for about the same as or cheaper than conventional not frozen.

4. Cut the amount of soap and detergents you use in half. Cut out fabric softener altogether.

and finally -- my giant grocery store subtotals the bill into categories -- dairy, meat, produce, nonedibles. Maybe you're spending WAY more than you think on stuff like shampoo, laundry soap. I don't subtotal myself, but it might be helpful to go through and add up the category that might need the most cutting -- i.e. easy foods (take out, or prepared stuff); paper products, whatever.

A&A

07-18-2004, 11:43 AM

Now, I don't intend to hijack this thread and turn it into a Saving Money on Groceries thread (there are plenty of those in the archives), but I gotta say, after being at Winco Foods the other day, the difference in price between peaches, for example, was significant. 58 cents a pound at Winco versus 1.99 a pound at the farmers market versus 2.99 a pound at the natural foods co-op. The difference? Nonorganic, shipped from who knows where (Winco), nonorganic but locally grown (farmers market) and organic locally grown (co-op). We strive to eat healthfully and responsibly, but that seems to cost $1,000 a month.

I have to buy organic, though, as much as I can. I feel that I would be compromising my children's health, otherwise. Peaches, especially, are high on the "contains pesticides" list. I'll buy avocados, for example, non-organic, because of the thick shell, not many bugs get through and consequently not much pesticide is used on those.

I also buy hormone-free milk for $3.75 a gallon, same reason.

And Kerc, I don't use fabric softener. And I don't really miss it!

Indigo73

07-18-2004, 12:47 PM

I also buy hormone-free milk for $3.75 a gallon, same reason.

I wish, regular milk is 3.55-3.98 here. I have to pay $3+ for half gallons of organic milk.

I am finding my price book is what helps us best. DH is getting on board too. We hit 3 supermarkets on our grocery trip this morning. Just a couple bucks over the $60 I wanted to spend for 2 weeks.

I can feed my family of 4 (3 humans and 1 dog) for $125 a month and a large non-edible trip for $200 twice a year. I know I can cut this down even more once we move (2-3 plan) and have garden space.

root*children

07-18-2004, 01:23 PM

I just finished reading through this thread and would like to invite any of you mamas to also post on the Frugal Moms thread in FYT. It is not so much about getting out of debt, but more of spending less money! Which, to me is the root of all evil, and the real first step in becoming debt free.
Personally, the costs I'm seeing people spend on groceries is unfathomable to me. We buy mostly organic, too. But I'm sure buy in a different fashion than most people. We work on an organic farm and get most of our produce for free (well... trade for work). We buy in serious bulk. Our guest room has turned into a food storage room (among other uses). It also houses our chest freezer. I only buy on sale when the sale is the best it will get. Then I buy enough to last until the next sale. Like when soymilk goes on sale for 85c a container, I buy 6 cases and it lasts us. We shop at Sams club and Big Lots and they have a fair amount of OG food.
I don't mean to sound to negative, it just seems counterproductive to try and get out of debt and keep spending so much on groceries, b-day parties, shopping, etc.?

A&A

07-18-2004, 01:23 PM

I wish, regular milk is 3.55-3.98 here. I have to pay $3+ for half gallons of organic milk.

I can feed my family of 4 (3 humans and 1 dog) for $125 a month and a large non-edible trip for $200 twice a year. I know I can cut this down even more once we move (2-3 plan) and have garden space.

Wow! I'm impressed you spend so little!

Just to clarify, the milk I buy isn't labeled "organic." That costs me $3+ for a half gallon, as well. But I buy from the local dairy, and I have spoken to the owners and have gotten their assurance that they do not use hormones in their cows.

CarrieMF

07-18-2004, 01:35 PM

Wow is milk ever expensive. I pay $2.27/gallon, it went down a few months ago and has stayed down but even before I was paying $2.66. It's all non-organic, I can't find organic milk in town.

We get all of our beef from my parents, they are only given antibiotics if necessary and are never given hormones. The only bad part is the grain & hay they are fed has been sprayed but they give it to us for free so I don't complain. After the BSE up here beef prices are unbelievable. ON SALE a t-bone steak is 7.99/lb. When my parents sell their beef to other people their customers pay $2/lb for everything. It's a bit more expensive for hamburger, but you're saving alot on your steak, stew, roasts and sausage.

We get our roast chickens from a guy I went to school with, no hormones. I will be finding out at the end of the month when I see him what they're fed. Mom got them from him and they were too big for her so she gave them to us. They're all 8-9lb chickens or mini turkeys as I call them.lol

We want to buy our pork from a farmer but we need to buy another freezer first.

We get all of our bread products(waffles, bagels, bread, crumbs, stuffing, little cakes, hamburger, hotdog & dinner buns) for free. The guy who runs the Dempsters truck parks the truck at dh's work every night. If we need it during the week he'll run there, but he usually only does it on weekend. They dump whatever has not sold by Sat into the garbage so dh brings it home. The bread is usually only good for toast and I make all of our sandwich bread from scratch. We don't usually get the buns unless we're camping, or short on money and I don't have time to make them.

I don't use laundry softener either, I love having my towels still be soft but actually absorb water.

Piglet68

07-18-2004, 08:37 PM

witch's: I didn't realize you were lumping "drug store stuff", household items, etc in the mix. I thought you meant JUST food.

Mind you, I had a shock at the grocery store today myself. We shop throughout the week (prefer small shopping trips to big weekly shops) and so our bills are rarely over $30 at the highest. But I also had several non-grocery items to get: I finally got a new toothbrush head for my electric toothbrush (had this last one for almost a year and it is really worn out) - that was almost $8. Had to buy cat litter (lasts us a month or more) which was $9 (we use this stuff made of wheat - no chemicals), had to get some medication ($6)...etc. My bill was just over $75. Wow. I also had to fill up the car today (we usually fill up about once a month). Sometimes all these things hit at once and it can be shocking!

Some tips I use: I don't buy any commercial cleansers anymore. I get my house clean with just vinegar, baking soda, and rubbing alcohol...all very cheap. Okay, my one splurge has been those flushables disposable toilet wipes: after months of following up every diaper minisprayer wash with spraying, sponging, rinsing, spraying, etc...I finally decided this was one task worth paying a bit for. I get a pack of 28 wipes for about $3 and it lasts me two weeks. We buy the cheap dishwashing soap, dishwasher detergent, toothpaste, shampoo, all those things we get the cheapo brands (from Big Lots). I admit it was hard at first ("I want my Colgate Total!!") but when Pepsodent was a third of the price...

We do buy organic dairy, eggs, butter and meat. But we eat very little meat so that really helps. Most of our protein comes from tofu, beans, lentils, etc.

Anyways, what I'm saying is that part of cutting down that bill means changing the way you eat, or what your expectations are re: brand names, etc. Sure, my Oil of Olay Knockoff face cream isn't as nice as the real thing, but at almost a tenth of the price...it does the job!

And besides, you can tell yourself that as you pay off your debts, that frees up more of your monthly budget to get back into the brands you like, or some of the special foods you like.

I think what really stunned me, that one shining moment when I realized how bad things were, was when I figured out how much money we would have each month if we were not paying any of our debts. My income was almost doubled!! THEN you can put that money towards things like more expensive shampoos, or gourmet foods, etc.

kerc

07-18-2004, 08:38 PM

I don't use laundry softener either, I love having my towels still be soft but actually absorb water.

:D me too! I used to think I HAD to have it. Then I started cloth diapers and the rest is history!

indiegirl

07-18-2004, 10:05 PM

:wave

I'm joining. I have to run, but will post my story later.

Jesse

angel04345

07-18-2004, 10:25 PM

Very interesting ideas on saving money! I must say that I have a very yuppy husband so going to cheap isn't going to work! I have even tried getting him store brand shampoo and putting it in the name brand bottle. That he noticed but he didn't put his finger on the actual problem! :bag: However I bought him a generic pain reliever and put it in the bottle of his usual and he didn't notice! :wink But if I tell him he will tell me thats why it didn't work as well. So we won't tell! (would be a funny experiment though!) We have been trying to save money but seriously with all the bdays weddings bridal parties and baby showers I am going to be BROKE! I have managed to get some money in savings about 75 a week! Which I thought was pretty good. When I watch an extra child I just save the money and thats what they have been paying a week! Well got to get to bed.........Great ideas girls!

Peppermint

07-19-2004, 07:18 AM

Hi ladies! I agree with the PP who mentioned the Frugal Mom's thread in FYT- I subscribe to it, but have little to add to the discussion, I just READ! :thumb Seems a lot of the talk is about garage sale-ing, which I haven't been doing, mainly b/c we just aren't buying THINGS at this point in time, but I am learning from the ladies there and being inspired further.

The discussions on buying organic, buying name brand this or that are interesting and have come up in our previous threads as well. We've talked about how there are certain things that are just VERY important to each of us. For me, I am VERY in debt, and many people would be shocked to hear that while trying to get out of debt, I have a cell phone and a security system, $50 in unecessary bills a month, BUT- I would never sleep w/o the alarm system, and never drive at night without the cell phone, as well as can'treach dh at work without the phone. So- those are our splurges. I also agree about buying organic would be keeping the family healthier- not that I buy all organic, but :innocent I respect that "splurge" very much.

Piglet- so true about thinking of all the money one would have without the debt to make payments on. For me- $900 more a month when the CCs are paid off- CRAZY! That really does help when I am buying Wegmen's brand instead of Peter Pan peanut butter---no- I don't shop at the Whole Foods store :hide:

Made MIL's B-day present yesterday and took my Usborne book display to her house and the aunts and MIL all bought some books :thumb . I am also thinking of becoming a Maya Wrap Distributor- I spend so much time writing down their website for people to buy them, I might as well make a little cash myself :D . Funny how these things work though- like what I actually make off of Usborne or will off of Maya Wrap- it's not that great of a return, YK? Also- my babysitting- making $140/week for all day/5 days/week this summer- good money, considering the child is 5 and a easy kid- but would be really not worth the life energy if it were another infant (I have my own right now)- I mean- $3 an hour? I don't know how people do it, and I DO know why home day cares take in so many kids- to earn some kind of living wage. My most lucrative thing I have going is the stuff I sell on ebay- our supplies are minimal and dh's talent is great- and I can paint by number :LOL, so that is really where I should concentrate my efforts. Sorry for my own money-making tangent again. I feel a real need to lift some of dh's burden on this debt, I did just as much to get us into this.

So- this week- I am going to set up our lowest balance card for online payments, that way each time I get some paypal from ebay stuff, it can go directly onto that card. I want that card paid off by November. Then I'll throw myself a big party to celebrate---right here- with bananas dancing and everything!

Thanks to the one (can't remember who right now) who cautioned about home equity loans, I have been really thinking about that as of late- it would only erase like half of our CC debt, but it is tempting to be that much closer- thanks for telling me why that would not be a good idea :thumb .

Can we talk life insurance? Dh and I both have whole life plans which run about $65 a month a piece- I know that if we have term life insurance plans we would have to pay more later as we'll be older and such to be insured, and the whole life insurance can be cashed in to help with the kid's college some day, but term plans are so much cheaper- thoughts?

root*children

07-19-2004, 08:34 AM

And besides, you can tell yourself that as you pay off your debts, that frees up more of your monthly budget to get back into the brands you like, or some of the special foods you like.

I think what really stunned me, that one shining moment when I realized how bad things were, was when I figured out how much money we would have each month if we were not paying any of our debts. My income was almost doubled!! THEN you can put that money towards things like more expensive shampoos, or gourmet foods, etc.

I'm working hard to stay OUT of that mindset. I think it's so dangerous! Especially for those of us trying to not only GET out of debt, but STAY out of debt. When we've got everything payed off, I'll be so excited to start putting that extra money towards savings! For a house, for retirement. Buying all that unnecessary junk was what put us in debt in the first place, right? Or at least what is making it hard to get out. I don't want to have for me and DH to be working until we're 90 just so we can afford that.

Have you all read the The Complete Tightwad Gazette? It kind of discusses this. The author compares this mindset to that old TV show Roseanne. They were always in debt, living poorly (and in the mindset of thinking they were living poorly), then when they'd get something payed off or get a bonus, etc. the family would just go out and spend, spend, spend. Then they were broke again.

A&A

07-19-2004, 09:08 AM

Can we talk life insurance? Dh and I both have whole life plans which run about $65 a month a piece- I know that if we have term life insurance plans we would have to pay more later as we'll be older and such to be insured, and the whole life insurance can be cashed in to help with the kid's college some day, but term plans are so much cheaper- thoughts?

I'd go with the cheaper life insurance, but that's just my opinion.

Galatea

07-19-2004, 10:33 AM

I need to join this thread! Dh and I have about $10,000 in CCs and then student loans and a car payment. No mortgage 'cause we live on my parents' property in a barn. The only thing I learned about money from my parents was to buy whatever you want b/c everything can be financed! I just read "Your Money or Your Life" and it was a big eye-opener. Now I really regret buying the fancy family car when we were pregnant b/c we totally did not need it and it is $315/month forever!

We had a great plan to have the CCs knocked out by August 2005 by paying $800/month, but we have decided that I will quit my job so we will just be paying the minimums this year.

So we are pretty nervous about not being able to get rid of our debt. If we just pay the minimums, which is what we are going to have to do, we won't pay off the CCs until 2008! I hope that some of you have some inspiring stories about paying off your debts slowly over time, 'cause we were so excited about never having to look at the CC bills again after one year. One thing that did help - we gave all the CCs to my dad to keep. That way we can't spend on them without having to ask him and that would be so humiliating.

I agree about not taking out a home equity loan to pay off debt - unless you are willing to not spend any more on the CCs, you are just digging deeper. That is what has happened to my parents and they have about 69 mortgages and still a ton of CC debt.

Thanks for all the support!

Piglet68

07-19-2004, 01:06 PM

dready mama, you are so right. I didn't mean my post to come out that way.

Doing this budgeting thing, and really having to face up to our debts, has majorly changed our way of doing things and thinking about things. For example, I used to argue 'till I was blue in the face about how I would ALWAYS take a brand new car (meaning: financing) over a used one, for pure safety and reliability issues (plus never having to worry about unexpected expenses since it's all covered under warranty). Many people tried to change my mind on that, but to no avail. I've always bought new cars, never a used one, and always always financed to the biggest I could afford per month, without paying much attention to the rest of the details. Well, now I will never finance another car. Not that this car has been hard - the payments aren't bad at all...its just the principle of borrowing that money, and being tied to a monthly payment for years. DH and I will not buy a car unless we can pay cash, and that means making a savings first (and we have our hearts set on the new Mazda 6 wagon - we've been wanting a station wagon for ages now, and with number 2 coming along it would be easy to justify...but we promised we won't until we can pay cash for it). We also want to buy a home next year, so a good portion of the "extra" money we have from debt repayment will go into that, as well.

I just meant that, if there are some little things that you are giving up right now to pay off debt, that it helps sometimes to know that you can have them back. Not ALL of them, and hopefully by then you've learned a little something about what is important and what isn't...but it's sort of like dieting: if you knew you could never eat a brownie again so long as you lived, it's pretty unmotivating. But if you told yourself you could have one brownie a week after you reach your goal weight (and no other treats, of course) then it might help, kwim?

There is alot about our old ways that we will never go back to. And I thank this experience, however hard, for that.

kerc

07-19-2004, 05:48 PM

i spent some time this afternoon thinking about piglet's first post -- and decided that she's right that after I stop spending so much $$ paying off my debt, I'll have extra cash. the get out of debt experience is helping me decide what is REALLY important to me and what's not.

What's not as important as once was:
fresh baked bread from the bakery (I can do my own better)
frozen prepared food (stuff i make is probably better anyhow)
candy/cookies/junk when I fill up on gas (like I need that crap to eat)
buying new books (i'd just have to store them. the library is good for most)
a brand new car (honestly i'd never owned one, but I lusted...)
new pretty diapers for dd (i make them now, very utilitarian).

and what is important to me:
safe neighborhood
safe car
health insurance
savings

A&A

07-19-2004, 07:57 PM

buying new books (i'd just have to store them. the library is good for most)
a brand new car (honestly i'd never owned one, but I lusted...)

www.half.com helps my lust for new books. (Hey, if I'm buying them used, rather than new, I'm saving money, right?
:D )

Also we have never bought a new car--it's just not a justifiable expense. (Buy one a few years old, perhaps with some of its warranty left, and let someone else take the hit on depreciation. )

CarrieMF

07-19-2004, 09:09 PM

We have 7 years left on the mortgage and as much as we hate, dispise, loath this house we are thinking about living here until it's paid off, then living here for another year and saving(or using it to pay off other things) the $621 mortgage payment. We already know that we'll get more for this place than what we paid, housing market here is insane. It also gives me 7 years to convince dh to move back to our home town where we could build what would be a $300,000 house for $100,000 and we'd get around $80,000 for our place. Plus if we buy a little bit of land and farm it with my parents then the home quarter would be our homestead and it can not be foreclosed on because we're farming.

We did something in June that everyone we know thinks is stupid. My grandpa died last Nov and I wanted to buy his van. Currently we have a 2000 Camry(that we bought used in 2001), with 3 kids(2 in car seats) it's a little crowded but not that bad. Grandma didn't want to sell the van so we decided to keep the car and wait until she does. Dh needed a new truck so in May we bought a 93 Chev Extended Cab for $7000. 2 weeks later mom springs it on me that Grandma now wants to sell the van (2001 Dodge Caravan Sport with 35,000 kms) for $14,000. We didn't think we'd get the loan but applied anyhow. I talked to mom a few days later and told her we didn't know if we were going to buy it because of the money(mom was going to buy our car from us). I also told her we didn't know if we got the loan yet or not. She then tells me that 1/2 the money was to go to my uncle and 1/2 to my dad and since my parents bought my sister a car when she was out of school that we'd only have to pay $7000. It was soooo tempting, especially after we found out we got the full loan, but after some talking we realized we really don't need a van. Now that we have the extended cab when we get my parents trailer we can pull it with that, plus we'd be screwing my parents out of $7000. They have given us more than that in meat alone over the last 10 years. We also decided that in 2-3 years we'd be selling whatever vehicle we had anyhow to get either another car or a van and we'd get more money back for the toyota than the dodge. So we declined it much to everyone's shock. We believe in the long run the toyota will serve us better, even on just gas it would.

Peppermint

07-20-2004, 11:48 AM

Sigh... tried to get a new CC with 0% interest as one of our cards interest rate just jumped- but---we were denied. I guess our credit has finally hit rock bottom with us. I guess getting the high interest card paid off moves to the top of the list of priorities. :(.

This sucks!

I so hope my kids never get into this kind of thing- I hope they can learn from us.

LizD

07-20-2004, 01:36 PM

<<I would really caution all of you about getting a home equity loan, especially to pay off credit cards. That means you're trading UNSECURED DEBT (nothing they can take away from you), for SECURED DEBT (they could take away your house.) Why make that trade? The benefits are just not worth the risk. Besides, a home equity loan does not address the reasons you got into debt in the first place.>>

Why make the trade? Because no one is taking our house- we can sell it at an enormous profit even with paying off the loan and mortgage. And it is not a loan, it is a line of credit, which makes it just as "safe" as a credit card.

If you can move your debt to lower interest rates, you are less in debt and will be out of debt faster. It is stupid to continue to pay more in interest, especially if you can't pay more than the minimums. They are calculated to cover only the month's finance charges, if that. My home equity loan is 4%. Much better than what the credit cards, because they weren't being used frequently, had been upped to. A home equity line of credit can be paid off in all kinds of ways- I can pay only the interest, and not pay the principal, if necessary. By taking this line of credit, and using it to pay off high interest credit cards, I have reduced our monthly payment by $800 already. Our cars are at 0% which doesn't bother me at all. I don't consider a car payment debt. There's good debt and bad debt, so to speak. A 0% car loan, which gives me the mere convenience of paying my car in installments, looks great when I apply for a mortgage or a building loan for our next house. I only have a little left on it anyway. If you can reduce the amount you are paying in finance charges you are just about always better off.

As far as cutting down on material things, it's true it's not good to live beyond one's means, but you have to live and enjoy yourself also. You could die tomorrow. Do you want never to have enjoyed anything because you were so obsessed with paying off your debt your kids never got to go to Europe with you, or go to summer camp while they were still small? Never gone to a restaurant or the opera or bought some nice books or made your home comfortable with good furniture? Putting my child's homeschool tuition on a low interest credit card was the best we could do at the time, and as soon as money came in it was paid. I wouldn't have considered sending her to the local public school because of a *financial* issue. Some things are more important. If my insurance hadn't covered homebirth, I would have had to go into debt to pay the midwife, and I sure would have. I buy high quality food and clothes and furniture and books, because it's cheaper in the long run, and the few dollars or cents in difference is not going to expedite getting out of debt in any real way. I'd rather do that than pay off low interest student loans a month or two or a year earlier. There's a degree to which being frugal can run your life every bit as much as being in debt can, because money becomes the focus.

PikkuMyy

07-20-2004, 01:46 PM

Well, we went and got a home equity loan - I know "Boooo" but the thing is that we don't live in the house, we rent it, and we had to make some structural repairs so we needed the money. We used some of it to pay off CCs, some of it ($6,000) to pay for my BIL's gifted school tuition because his mother won't pay for it and FIL is broke, and he'd been going to the school for 2 years already and loved it so much, actually had FRIENDS for the first time in his life, etc., and some to fix up our house.

Yes, I hate the fact that they technically "own" our home while we have the loan out, but the fact is that our house is worth a lot of money and when we sell it, we'll have no problem paying off our current debt and having enough left over to buy a home we want to live in (or have an environmentally-friendly one built from scratch) plus some land. I like the farming idea - I'd never heard of that before.

But in the meantime, we are struggling. Now, there are several things we could and should do but whether we'll do them, I don't know.

a) I only work part time (about 20 hours a week) - I do go to school but in the fall, I'll probably up the hours to 30 per week.

b) we make $1950 a month from renting our home and spend a whopping $1700 of that on our own rent - we could easily have less rent in a different place, and thus more money to pay off our debt. The thing is, we have this beautiful, quiet cottage far from the streets with lots of animals and trees, and we cherish that. But, obviously, moving to a house with less rent would be a big help.

c) We also spend a lot of our income on groceries - eating all organic food is not something we are willing to part with. However, I've been trying to do my part by buying lots when items are on sale, choosing the sale item rather than our regular one, buying in bulk, esp. with things like laundry detergent and shampoo. We only use natural cleansers, so those are cheap and in bulk to begin with, I don't wear makeup or use soap or facial cleansers.

A few thoughts to change within the current parameters:

-buy all our produce from the farmer's market (3 per week near us) which is always cheaper than whole foods
-work extra hours (on Saturday) at my job, and do more paperwork (which needs to get done anyway) from home
-try to make at least a few meals per week from stuff we already have at home. (We began to do the shopping each day in order to avoid throwing out food - but the problem is that if I go in for 2 items, I come out with 12.)
-paying all the bills from PayPal as soon as an auction ends so we can't spend the money on other stuff before the bills are paid
-lower DH cell phone plan since he doesn't use it so much anyway and since my phone gets 250 minutes free over when I pay for.
-we only need a regular phone for our DSL, so lower the phone plan to the minimum and get rid of the voice mail ($8/month) and get a cheap answering machine.

Each of these things only saves a little money but it will add up and enable us to get out of debt sooner.

root*children

07-20-2004, 03:04 PM

As far as cutting down on material things, it's true it's not good to live beyond one's means, but you have to live and enjoy yourself also. You could die tomorrow. Do you want never to have enjoyed anything because you were so obsessed with paying off your debt your kids never got to go to Europe with you, or go to summer camp while they were still small? Never gone to a restaurant or the opera or bought some nice books or made your home comfortable with good furniture?

We could die tomorrow and leave our kids with our debt! If you can get in the frugal mindset, you can enjoy doing these things without spending a ton of money. Go to Europe, camp, hike, etc. - no need to spend a fortune. Go out to eat a few times a year - make it special. Volunteer at the opera, so you can get in for free. Go to the library and used bookstores and yardsales and find more books than you could imagine! Buy used furniture - just b/c it's used doesn't mean it has to be trashy. You can buy awesome sturdy & functional "antique" furniture at auctions & yardsales.

Putting my child's homeschool tuition on a low interest credit card was the best we could do at the time, and as soon as money came in it was paid. I wouldn't have considered sending her to the local public school because of a *financial* issue. Some things are more important.

It seems from the friends I know that public school can be very expensive (lunches, field trips, class pictures, fundraisers, to name a few). IMHO, even the best homeschooling materials can be bought from ebay for half-price.

I buy high quality food and clothes and furniture and books, because it's cheaper in the long run, and the few dollars or cents in difference is not going to expedite getting out of debt in any real way. I'd rather do that than pay off low interest student loans a month or two or a year earlier. There's a degree to which being frugal can run your life every bit as much as being in debt can, because money becomes the focus.

I don't see (with the exception of food) how it is cheaper in the long run. Also, I think it's awesome to have a focus on money. I'm glad to be passing this on to my children. My DH was raised to spend money whenever they saw something that seemed nice. This has created major problems for him in his adult life, especially as he's finally realizing that his parents have a minimal savings account & plan to work in their boring jobs for as long as they can. But, hey, they live in a 'nice' house and have the "nice" clothes, etc. They could have had all those material things that make them feel good about themselves and paid much less by going to yardsales, buying second-hand. Getting in a spendthrift (non-frugal) state of mind will make your debt last MUCH longer than just a couple months or even a year. It will make your debt continue indefinatly, b/c once you get out of it, you are so used to neg. spending habits that you get just keep on charging the credit card. It's really NOT just a few dollars & cents in difference. It adds up pretty dern quick.

DesireeH

07-20-2004, 03:07 PM

Hello! Just popping in to say hello! I wish I found this thread earlier! Last month we were able to get out of our horrendous debt (we sold our house and paid off 36K to credit cards, my van, old medical bill (infertility that didnt even work!) and then used the leftover for downpayment on another house and some in savings.) Granted our house payment is a bit higher now, its going toward something that I love, and its not huge nasty CC percentage. I cut all those suckers up. Staying out of debt is what I need to work on so these tips are great! I never want to get back to the place we were the whole first 5 years of our marriage. It can put such a strain on things, yk?

One of the tips that helped me when we were in big debt was paying off the smaller cards first because it feels like an accomplishment to get even one paid off. I set everything up online and anytime I had an extra 5 or 10 dollars I instantly made a payment toward the CC right away and as soon as they got paid off I changed the name of the card to "Amazon Visa (PAID OFF)" or whatever the card was so that when I saw the PAID OFF it made me feel good and I didnt want to use the card anymore (even cut up, I can still get the number to buy stuff online if I wanted) so that was motivation for me not to use it (even online).

DesireeH

07-20-2004, 03:10 PM

[QUOTE]I don't see (with the exception of food) how it is cheaper in the long run.[QUOTE]

I think she meant by buying quality items. Like us for example, we are on vaccuum #5 in 5 years because we keep buying the cheapest one. Had we bought the nicer one upfront, it would have saved us money in the long run. Same thing with the IKEA furniture.....it was cheap at first but it all fell over when we moved after only 2 years and we had to buy new anyways. I agree with her to a point.

root*children

07-20-2004, 03:30 PM

As I was outside hanging laundry, I thought about my post and realized it was very scatty and non-conclusive (I have problems with writing rather long tangents).
The point was that you can do ALL the things she posted and still be frugal. No need to go into debt!

ITA with you Desiree. But frugality is NOT about buying crap. What if instead of buying the cheapest vacuum you could find, you instead went to the vacuum-fixing shop (i'm sure it has a more professional name than that ;)) and buy a really good quality one that they have fixed up. It will cost a tiny bit more than the cheapo one, but not as much as the expensive one and will last just as long as the quality one, b/c it is quality.

You can go a yardsale or buy from the classifieds or go to an antique auction for furniture and pay LESS than you would for the IKEA stuff, and have quality furniture that will last your lifetime and can be handed down!

LizD

07-20-2004, 03:53 PM

I wasn't really talking about going into debt for quality items- I meant getting so hung up on paying down existing debt that your quality of life is hampered, which is more about mindset than things.

root*children

07-20-2004, 04:07 PM

IMO, I think there's nothing wrong with focusing on saving money! I LOVE finding new ways to cut costs. It's totally fun going to to yardsales, hunting for bargains. I think it teaches good lessons to our kids, sets good examples for the community as a whole and helps the environment (buying used, buying in bulk, etc).
Seems eveyone on this thread is focusing on trying to pay off debt... or we wouldn't all be here.

DesireeH

07-20-2004, 04:49 PM

I agree too that there is nothing wrong with focusing on saving money. If I had done that from the start I wouldnt have even been in the predicament that I was a month ago! LOL

Good idea about the vacuum.....I never thought of that, I am going to look for a place like that (my long hair kills all our vaccuums).

A&A

07-20-2004, 06:42 PM

Why make the trade? Because no one is taking our house- we can sell it at an enormous profit even with paying off the loan and mortgage. And it is not a loan, it is a line of credit, which makes it just as "safe" as a credit card.

But it's still a "line of credit" guaranteed with your house. If, for some unforeseen reason, you were not able to pay it off, would anything you bought with that credit card be worth your house? I'm not saying this is going to happen to you, but I'm just saying that, in general, it's not a good idea. OF COURSE no one gets a home equity loan (or line of credit) with the idea of foreclosure! But it happens.

My MIL got a home equity loan to pay off credit cards, then racked the cards back up again and had to declare bankruptcy anyway. That's a more common scenario than the one you are in.

A&A

07-20-2004, 06:45 PM

We used some of it to pay off CCs, some of it ($6,000) to pay for my BIL's gifted school tuition because his mother won't pay for it and FIL is broke, and he'd been going to the school for 2 years already and loved it so much, actually had FRIENDS for the first time in his life, etc.,

You know, Suze Orman (financial guru) states, "People first, then money, then things."

I think helping your BIL definitely fits the "people first" definition. That was nice of you.

PikkuMyy

07-20-2004, 09:59 PM

You know, Suze Orman (financial guru) states, "People first, then money, then things."

I think helping your BIL definitely fits the "people first" definition. That was nice of you.

I'm glad to hear that - yes, we would do it again in an instant - it was definitely worth it. This year, we can't do it again, and FIL is still broke, but the people who run the small school love BIL so much, they're letting him go there for the half-scholarship he gets, and don't expect any more money. Yes, there are people out there like that!

Well, today we went to the used bookstore because I wanted to get Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I found it (used hardcover - $15) and in the past wouldn't have batted an eyelash especially because we traded in several boxes of books we'd gotten at library sales for credit. But DH found a bunch of $1 books he could sell on Amazon, so I put the book back, had him use the credit for those books, and will get the book out from the library on Thursday, even though I really wanted to read it tonight. So I saved $15.

We ate our leftovers for lunch instead of going out to eat like DH wanted to do. And after the bookstore, I was thirsty and almost bought a Vitamin Water for $1.59. I thought, "No, I'm thirsty - I'll get a $.79 bottle of water.)

So keeping this stuff in mind can make a difference. In total, we saved about $36 today, plus when we went to the grocery store (no farmer's market today), we only bought exactly what we needed for tonight.

root*children

07-20-2004, 10:06 PM

Good for you Pikkumyy!! Those little things really do add up quickly, don't they?

PikkuMyy

07-20-2004, 10:23 PM

So I just went and sent that $36 (plus an extra 15) to the home equity loan. I gotta start adding up what I've saved each day and doing that.

Peppermint

07-21-2004, 07:02 AM

Focusing on frugality is important to me, b/c 2 of my biggest fears are dying tomorrow, paying off debt would take a third of my life insurance :angry , and my kids getting into debt someday b/c I am not teaching them about money.

I agree with the idea of buying quality used items whenever possible (not underwear though :LOL). I have finally learned that even if it doesn't save you much money, many things should be bought used in the spirit of reduce/reuse/recycle. Last year I bought my kids a little tykes 8-1 playground thingy. I looked on ebay first, but they were selling for almost as much as new when you factored in shipping, so I bought a new one :hammer . So now, that's one more enormous plastic toy that will be in the landfill one day :shake . I have found that I can buy quality clothes used as well and they last.

OOO- someone mentioned getting rid of voice mail and getting a cheap answering machine- that's my goal today- off to ebay to look for an answering machine :thumb

I am glad we are all here supporting each other in getting out of debt, I love to hear about people taking the money they "saved" each day and immediately putting it toward debt :love .

Piglet68

07-21-2004, 09:27 AM

I agree with LizD to a point. Quality of life is important. But the way I see it, my mistakes (and DH's) got us into this mess, and having to give up some of the things we're used to is just part of the responsibility of paying off debt. Also, I look at it in both the short-term, and the long-term. Short-term "low quality of life" is doable, and again, I feel it is part of being responsible for our actions.

In the short term, I'm going with the cheapest stuff I can get, so we can get out of debt. We have a sucky $20 vaccuum that takes twice as long to clean our house as a really nice one. But we paid cash for it, and would have had to charge it if we'd wanted a more powerful one, so I don't regret it. It probably won't last much longer (which is fine b/c we are moving anyways) but now my mother is giving us one of hers (she had two, but is downsizing to a condo) which may be as old as I am but it is super powerful and still works just fine. So, problem solved and we didn't add to our debt.

As for the kids, I can't emphasize enough the benefits of a library. You can always have tons of books around for FREE. I used to be an avid book buyer, but now we do the library, and what's neat is that some of the books I read turn out to be ones I didn't like enough to want to own. Those I do, I add to my future wish list. At least I got to read them, and can buy them later. And for DD, she is always surrounded by books, again for FREE (and then there are garage sales, library sales - we got three shopping bags FULL of kids books for $1/bag - SCORE! and it doesn't matter if she rips up the pages, etc)...

DD turned 2 last week and we didn't buy her a birthday present (what does she know?). Instead we had a party (just me, DH, and her). We decorated our house with balloons, streamers (after she went to bed - the next morning she was delighted!), baked a cake, lit the candles, etc...All of those supplies and stuff cost us about $10 and she had the time of her life!

We have shit furniture, mostly b/c we move alot and it's just too expensive to move stuff. But we can't really afford nice, new stuff anyways. But guess what? Turned out to be the best thing ever b/c kids are hard on furniture. I"m not concerned about yogurt spilled on the sofa, and DD can eat her yogut in peace without being "confined" to the dining table (which we don't own, so it's moot, lol). DD has alot of freedom to be a kid and have accidents - things get scratched, spilled on, leaked on, etc....and we don't stress out about it AT ALL. Gawd, I tell ya that is worth it's weight in gold! :) When the kids are older we can enjoy getting good, quality stuff that will last. I used to obsess about having nice furniture, but that was the consumerist in me getting sucked in by all those lovely Pottery Barn catalogs, lol. I now realize that it's simply not a priority right now, and that in itself is liberating b/c I don't have to be depressed that we couldn't afford new furniture anyways, even if I wanted it.

Besides, when I first moved to Ohio (back when I was single and fresh outta grad school) I spent about $2000 (all credit cards!) to furnish my new apartment. I was so convinced that I "deserved" nice furniture, that life was too short to have ugly furniture, used stuff, etc....well, I realized two things.

First, it's just furniture, and after a while the novelty wears off..but not the credit card payments! Second, we ended up basically giving away most of it when I got married and moved to Boston, because moving is SO expensive and it simply wasn't worth the money to move it all.

Here's my big tip for the day that really helps me with big purchases:

Imagine you have the cash to buy your big purchase (in other words, imagine I had $2000 in cash when I got to Cleveland)...would I have been willing to blow it all on furniture? uh....NO!! I could immediately think of better ways to spend that money, or put it to good use. But because I financed my furniture, I somehow justified it. It didn't feel like cash being taken out of my pocket.

Not sure if that makes sense, but I just find that if I imagine someone giving me the cash value of whatever big purchase I want to make, I can usually find something else I'd rather do with the money.

Okay, that's my long babble for today!

chalupamom

07-21-2004, 09:31 AM

Can I play the Debt Reduction Game with you?

My husband is a full time student and his stipend covers our mortgage (barely). Everything else comes from my highly sporadic income - I work freelance business information analysis and might work crazy for six weeks and then nothing for four months. So things are always up and down around here!

Other than our mortgage we have my student loans and one car payment. I've been agitating to get rid of the car payment and having my husband use our beater car for school (I'd still have a decent car for kid ferrying), but he won't hear of it. My student loans are considerable but we've just consolidated for a lower interest rate and a longer term (that we're hoping not to use). We try to pay off our cards every month but occasionally carry a couple hundred into a month or two -not often if we can help it.

Not spending is an everyday challenge for me. With two kids, one of them always needs something (although the baby is still wearing gifted things - she's 5 months - the day is coming when I'll have to buy her clothes too!) - right now my son needs PJs. We have just got an infestation of pantry moths, so there's $20 in traps and we've decided to home school for kindergarten so there's $50 in materials and books. And then there's....well, whatever, it all adds up!

I've learned a lot from you all - hopefully I'll be able to add to the discussion, as well.

bamboogrrrl

07-21-2004, 09:53 AM

LizD - This thread is to help us all get out of debt, and while your comments were interesting, if being debt-free is NOT your goal, I'm not sure how we can be of help to you... But if we can, let us know! Quality of life IS crucial, but having fancy new shoes or staying in an expensive hotel in Paris or buying a brand new car are not quality of life enhancers. Are we going to think about our new pair of rhinestone encrusted Manolos on our deathbeds? Part of frugality and simple living is finding out what's really important to you (family? art? literature? nature? among many, many others things), apart from the stuff that is shoved down out throats in our consumerist culture. Would you rather go sofa shopping and spend $2,000 hard earned dollars, or garden? My life is simple now to the point that shopping is no longer fun, which I consider a good thing. There are a bazillion other things I'd rather be doing...

All of us here probably have fewer life choices as a result of the debt hanging over our heads. If my mortgage was paid off, I prolly wouldn't have to keep my HSSJ (that's "horrible soul sucking job"). If the mortgage was paid off, dh could think more concretely about retiring (he's turning 50 this year). My SIL just went to Italy for nine weeks this summer, and expects to pay off the trip OVER THE NEXT FIVE YEARS. Ouch! And every day of her life she complains about her HSSJ. My parents took us to France when we were younger and could pay for it. They saved $$$ and then we went.

Regarding vacuum cleaners? My mom got us an electrolux from the 1940s at a garage sale for $15. We replaced the hose for $20 and it works great! Good quality ones are out there.

Piglet: Oh the power of cash... Many financial advisors recommend paying cash, because it feels harder to make big purchases. A friend had a great idea: all money should be in dollar bills. When you went out to buy the new Lexus, you have to count out many, many dollars, to the point that it would be super annoying. I love that.

Last night I tried to pry out of dh what his dreams in life were. We ended up having an intense, dramatic conversation last night about how he's resigned that his dreams are dead and he'll have to work forever... I have to hold all our hope for both of us right now. Paying off the mortgage and putting money away will help...

Indigo73

07-21-2004, 10:10 AM

Last night I tried to pry out of dh what his dreams in life were. We ended up having an intense, dramatic conversation last night about how he's resigned that his dreams are dead and he'll have to work forever... I have to hold all our hope for both of us right now. Paying off the mortgage and putting money away will help...

My dh's life dreams are to be able to afford to be a stay at home dad & homeschool or go to school and be a teacher/coach. I wanna finish my degree and get a masters in Urban Ecology.

So once he is working again we will be putting a bit less than planned toward debt and pay for a couple classes a semester. For him first, then me. Do it carefully and no more student loans.

I just got a mondo raise and promotion so we will continue to scrape by til he is employed again.

It's sad, if it wasn't for our "bad" debt we could comfortably live on my income. Ahhh, the excesses of youth.

Peppermint

07-21-2004, 10:22 AM

Yes- if it weren't for our bad debt, I could be living the frugal lifestyle and saving $20,000 for the kid's college over the next 2 years :shake. That is what I will be doing with the money when the debts are paid, but it would be so much better for that cash to be going in now while they are still so young.

I put a ISO on the TP for an answering machine, ebay wasn't looking good.

root*children

07-21-2004, 11:09 AM

I got our answering machine from Target, and it's one of the few things I have bought new. Only b/c every used one I found was the one with the mini-cassette tape in it. We paid around $20 and got the digital one. It rocks! No tape to break :) It's lasted us way longer than any $5 yard sale one we ever owned. Just a thought!

ashcox

07-21-2004, 02:28 PM

Here's what we're trying to do. We are cancelling our phone and internet (and keeping the cell phones b/c that would cost $150/phone to cancel). I'll just use the internet at my parents' house. We've lowered our car payment and I think we're going to look into cheaper car insurance. I think I'm going to check into cheaper health insurance. So far we're saving us about $70/month. I'm also wanting us to lower grocery bills. I don't buy pre-made stuff or organic so I don't know why it's so high but I'm really going to watch it. I also think we're about to start trying to grow some of our own fruits and veggies in a container garden (we rent). We really want to buy a house soon but we're trying to fix our credit and get bills in order. I'm still debating about taking a second job. It wouldn't really give us a whole lot more a month but would help some. I really have appreciated reading everyone's comments and stories on here. I'm learning a lot. It stinks to be in this situation but it's nice to have people to share with and learn from who aren't judging us for being in this situation.

chalupamom

07-21-2004, 02:51 PM

So frustrated! :irked:

Earlier today I made my first post to this thread and this afternoon I got the mail and found a late notice for our mortgage! Not sure why it's late - the money should have been available so I'll have to talk to my husband about it when he gets home tonight.

I'm more inclined to worry about these things, but his attitude is "God will provide". I'm always telling him God likes to provide but He still wants us to pay our bills! ;) So now we've got to get to the bottom of what's going on. We had another late notice last Friday but he swore it was paid and settled. And here we are again. I don't want to be mistrustful or always checking up on him but there's a limit to how much stress I can take, you know?

MaryLang

07-21-2004, 03:34 PM

Things are going much better here. I am glad I'm figuring this stuff out. We're still going to be paycheck to paycheck for a while, but there are a lot of expenses I have been able to cut out. I shop so much differently, only buy whats on sale and use those coupons! I save at least 30 a week on groceries. I have cut the cable TV, but we still have cable internet (downgraded to the lower speed) and I'm looking into DSL because that might be cheaper yet. I'm debating on the phones now, DH and I both have cells and I just can't give them up, its the only way to get a hold of him at work. But I'm afriad to cut the land line in case we have another black out or something like last summer, the land line is the only thing that worked since the cell towers had no power.

chalupamom

07-21-2004, 04:21 PM

Saving via selecting various types of phones over others is a really complex topic, isn't it? Right now we pay about $120 for cell service (we have a "family plan" which covers both my husband's and my phones). I'd love to cut it out, but you never know when a client or prospective client might call so it's hard to take that leap. The savings would be nice, but what would it cost us in the long run? We're in the same boat re: our DSL as well - I NEED the internet to work, as all of my clients are in other states. My husband wanted to upgrade our 8 year old fax machine (uses thermal paper!) and I said no way. As long as the one we have works that's what we're staying with!

We don't have any kind of pay television so I'm really, really focusing on getting rid of one of our three cars. It'll hurt my husband terribly since he's a real car enthusiast. He does all our maintenance and repairs, which saves a bundle but there's still the matter of licensing and insurance and that adds up fast - especially in Virginia where we pay a biannual tax on the value of our cars.

PikkuMyy

07-21-2004, 11:01 PM

Look on ebay for "AT&T digital answering machine" in items and descriptions. lots for really cheap. I used to have one of these for years and loved it. My dad still uses it 4 years later.

I just bid on one for only $5 - you can easily download any missing manuals from AT&T online. I'm sure I"ll win the one I bid on, so I already did it.

DesireeH

07-22-2004, 12:36 AM

Right now we pay about $120 for cell service (we have a "family plan" which covers both my husband's and my phones)

You might check out Verizon.......DH and I have the verizon family share plan and its only 55 a month for BOTH of us. We never even use 1/4th of our minutes either. Its like 4000 weekend and night, 1000 mobile to mobile (any verizon person), and 250 weekday or something like that. I think its a pretty good deal.

I have cable internet but I need it cause I have an online business and its something I NEED, imo. LOL I could do dial up, but I might shoot myself in the foot and that wouldnt be good either. LOL

I did do something frugal today......I needed 2 really big pictures for my walls but they are super expensive so I went and bought 2 canvases and some paint for 1/4th of the cost of what 1 big picture would be and I am going to make my own.

I have a bread machine coming from the TP too.....whole wheat organic bread here is over 3.50 a loaf! I can make my own for WAY cheaper!

Peppermint

07-22-2004, 06:27 AM

PikkuMyy-

Thanks for the suggestion- the only cheap ones I saw when browsing ebay yesterday were "not guaranteed to work" which didn't seem so frugal to me :LOL, or high shipping. I ended up buying one from the TP for $8 shipping included, it doesn't record an outgoing message- it just says in that weirdo voice "Leave your message after the tone", hey- that works for me :).

Went to the beach yesterday to meet a couple of MDC mamas, thought about heading to the dollar store first as I was taking 3 kids (infant not included) and only have one bucket, one shovel and a couple of water squirters, I was going to pick up 2 more buckets and shovels, I decided not to and the kids had a blast, they borrowed a watering can from one of the other kids for a while, but otherwise amused themselves quite well without the stuff I felt they needed.

When driving to the beacch we went past a fair/field days going on here in the city, the boy I babysit had gone the night before with his dad, he was telling my kids in the car how much fun it was, etc. As we drove I started thinking if I should ask dh about going ourselves, but fairs are expensive, the admission alone and the ride tickets and junk food. I thought it through and realized my kids would be just as happy to go to the park up the street, and after all, they hadn't said, "Can we go to that fair mommy?" My parents camp near a place that has a purpetual fair that is for little guys like mine (small rides and such) and my parents always like to take the kids there, so that will satisfy that very well. I hate feeling like they are suffering at all for this lack of money, but they enjoyed the park a bunch, and my 2 yo son would probably have been scared at the fair anyway.

So- I saved some good money yesterday- at least $2 by not going to the dollar store, and surely much more by skipping the fair. :thumb

Piglet68

07-22-2004, 09:22 AM

way to go, Jess!

don't have much to report today. end of the month is drawing near, and so far so good. time is really flying by. I can't believe it will be August soon. Then we'll be moving, I'll be starting as SAHM...lots of big changes and a whole new budget scene!

kerc

07-22-2004, 11:16 AM

wtg on skipping the dollar store. BTW yogurt containers make good sand toys and you have to buy the plastic container when you buy the yogurt right? We have various sized ones and the bonus is that when they crack, float away or disappear altogether - no big deal.

the thing about the fair is -- to me that kinda thing is not terribly fun. I can get the idea of the rides, but how old are your kids? is that really more fun than the park or the little machine you might ride for a quarter outside the grocery store? I don't think you're depriving your kids of fun. Yes, if my kids asked about it, I'd consider it. But I might also say "maybe next year we'll save up our money together and go." meaning we'd put quarters together to help pay for it. Yes, I'm broke. But I'm also sick of the american idea that we can't have fun at things that don't cost money. (sorry little soapbox just because my IRL friends give me hard time cause i never want to meet anyplace that costs money).

angel04345

07-23-2004, 08:56 AM

I have to say that I am always gone so long that theres LOTS to read! :thumb Great Job Mommas! All of us are doing great! I have to say though it is true that you need to not focus so much on your debt that your not living today! That doesn't mean to go and finance the couch you've been lusting for but to remember that choosing a weekend to take your children to the fair or waterpark is FINE. IF its not on credit cards and you don't have nightmares and other bills aren't suffering! I remember once a year my parents would take us to Fun town. It is very expensive IMO. About twenty dollars a ticket. But you know the fun we had there was unforgettable and I remember and still look forward to every summer! (we still go! My mom doesn't pay for me anymore! LUCKY DUCK!!! :LOL ) I can't wait for my own daughter to be old enough to look forward to this annual event either! (She stays home this summer, maybe next summer! :D )
Now onto other topics.......My FIL bought a brand new truck and you can imagine what this does to my poor deprived husband! I have caught him several times drooling over trucks on the dodge website! :drool I explained to him that next year he could have his truck as my car would be paid off. He got all upset and told me this is why I need to go to work..........When he does that I know that there is no use! Feb 2005 Two of the three useless debts will be GONE!!! Thats only SEVEN months away!!!! Then we just have my car left! WOOOO HOOOOO (keeping my eye on the prize!)
As far as the phone goes like I said we have Life line with verizon. Its ten dollars a month. Then we have Caller ID which is 7.50 :bigeyes That is obscene!!! I think I would like to go the answering machine route! Not that the seven bucks is going to go far but still why should the billion dollar phone company have it! :blah
Well all the children are ready to play so I have to get going! :jumpers: Its been fun reading all your comments though!

chalupamom

07-23-2004, 09:03 AM

With our "missed" mortgage payment my husband swears up and down he made it and it should have been received. He spent about a half an hour on the phone with one bank or another and, in any case, I'm assured now that it's paid. I really, really, really don't want to take over the bill paying - mostly because I don't want him to think I don't trust him. I do, of course, but I think maybe we need more oversight that we're getting.

As for other spending, we're doing well. Still, we're heading out to our annual cheap beach vacation tomorrow and DH isn't going. I'm making sure that the fridge is stocked for him but I am concerned what I'll find when I return. He has a tendancy to each nothing but chips and pretzles he purchases while I'm gone.

When we return from the trip I have to face the possibility that I'll have to get a "real" job (instead of the WAH/SAH stuff I've been doing for the past three years). My husband's stipend will not be increased for the next two years and we have to face that fact. Still, I'm doing affirmations every day seeking wisdom to deal with money and family matters so we'll see what happens.

Peppermint

07-23-2004, 12:11 PM

chalupamom- I hope you have a great trip! :)

Had a good day today, went to the mall to get free pics of ds #2 and I together :love done, did NOT buy any extra pictures either :thumb . The kids rode the carousel ($3 for the group), I brought lollipops for snack while we waited, and did not give into my impulse to buy hot pretzels or an ice cream (though we are having ice cream here at home after lunch- no one said we couldn't have ice cream, just that breyers at home is healthier and much cheaper).

My brother wants us to come down to visit him at the end of the summer, dh can't get any time off, and it's about a 7 hour drive, so I am going to have either my dad or sister go with me and the kids, we are going to take my dad's car, as my transmission is close to going, and well that would not be fun if we were 7 hours from home, so just the cost of gas, which in reality whoever goes with me will insist on paying for. My brother said there is a kids amusement park near him, and the week that we will be there they have $60 per car load special, so no cash for me to put out. This same brother is the one who held our car loan, he is now refusing to cash the checks, and says that they threw away the information on how much we owe (I know that we owed about $1500 more) but, anyway- he won't cash the checks, so I guess that $155 a month needs to go into savings for when the transmission finally gives out.

As our ebay business is getting better/more lucrative, my 6 month old ds has taken on a new personality, one where he needs to be held by me and only me, pretty much non-stop. This puts a hamper on my painting time, can't even do it when he sleeps, so---instead of worrying about how this is going to affect our getting out of debt-- I am going to just enjoy it- I may never have another baby- and I'll definitely never have THIS baby as a baby again- he needs me, and I need to be there for him, plus it gives me all kinds of time to nak and surf MDC while he sleeps in my arms. :D Instead of my $400 a month goal, I am going to paint when I can and let it be for a bit. The other night we went to the park, and I should've/could've stayed home painting while dh took the kids---but my life can't be all about getting out of debt- and I can feel good about going to the free park instead of the pricey fair, most importantly I took time with my family to have fun. (This is, I assume, the heart of the Your Money or Your Life book).

Ah ladies- thank you all so much again for helping me along this path, I am learning a lot here and getting so much inspiration, when I save money I think of how I can not only brag to Dh, but to come here and tell you ladies about it, oh- and the "not being judged" part, that's big too :D .

On the topic of judging, and I don't mean to be judgemental with this, but are any of you feeling particularly bad for people around you who haven't "gotten it" yet about debt? A few people I know are totally getting futher and further in debt every day, they don't really "see" it, I know they don't. Like one couple we know, they built a new house that they couldn't afford---ok, it's a house at least (the mom wants to be a SAHM, but says that they can't afford it and it breaks her heart), they are now spending lots of money on landscaping and just financed a new vehicle. I am not trying to be judgemental here, I am really not- I WAS there not too long ago myself, spending that way. I want to shake them, grab them by the shoulders and say "Stop now, before you get in to far! You have to stop!", But- it's not my place, they'll have to get here on their own I guess. Sadly, I know 2 couples who have filed for bankruptcy in the past and are back into debt in major ways (the aforementioned couple is one of them). I am so sad that they keep digging deeper- I care about these people and I want to see them get on track. Oh, I am rambling- it is not my place- I just wish there was some way I could tell them, help them get out of this while they still can.

Piglet68

07-23-2004, 05:16 PM

...instead of worrying about how this is going to affect our getting out of debt-- I am going to just enjoy it- I may never have another baby- and I'll definitely never have THIS baby as a baby again- he needs me, and I need to be there for him....

I love this!! Very, very true!! Trust me, my DD just turned 2 last week and I can't believe how fast it all goes!

...are any of you feeling particularly bad for people around you who haven't "gotten it" yet about debt?

I think so...actually, I was just reading angel04345's post about her DH wanting a truck and feeling the very same thing! And I'm not trying to be judgemental either b/c that was me not long ago! Our car will be paid off in a couple of months and I really, really want a new one (a Mazda 6 Sport Wagon :drool) In my old life I would have said what angel said "when we pay off this car we can get another one"...but the fact is, I'm no longer comfortable going into debt for a car. So we'll have to wait until we have some windfall come in, start saving, and buy it when we can afford to pay cash! It's hard but...I just cannot fathom going into debt EVER AGAIN until we get a mortgage. And certainly not for a car!! (btw, angel, not picking on you...just your story rang home for me since I was all about financing new cars before).

Like one couple we know, they built a new house that they couldn't afford---ok, it's a house at least (the mom wants to be a SAHM, but says that they can't afford it and it breaks her heart), they are now spending lots of money on landscaping and just financed a new vehicle....

Yup, when DD was born we decided to move back home for a while which meant DH giving up his very lucrative job (we were both SAHP for a while), but we were pretty much debt-free at that time and had a good savings built up so we did it. His friend was so jealous b/c he was basically tied to his job - they had financed alot of things and he was stuck with that. I felt really bad for him then, and now I do even more. Now, we did end up spending too much and got ourselves back into debt...but it needn't have been that way. So I look at debt as a big old chain around your neck, whereas being debt free gives you such freedom to do things!

It's amazing how I used to just look at "X dollars IN every month" and decide how many monthly payments I could do so I could buy a car, furniture, etc...I think so many people do this, never thinking their monthly income might change, or something might come up they didn't think of....I will never look at my montly income as something to "use up" each month, ever again!!

kerc

07-24-2004, 08:32 AM

It's amazing how I used to just look at "X dollars IN every month" and decide how many monthly payments I could do so I could buy a car, furniture, etc...I think so many people do this, never thinking their monthly income might change, or something might come up they didn't think of....I will never look at my montly income as something to "use up" each month, ever again!!

me too. the thing that got me thinking was your post about how much extra money you'll have when you pay off your debt. to think -- i pay off my car and that's an EASY trip home...meaning no saving or cc payments to get there. 200 bucks in gas. done. i can see it now "helllllo grandma we're here for the free child entertaining"

i'm having a bit of a rough patch as it is time to work on winter clothes for the family. i plan on sewing up a bunch of stuff -- mostly because i *enjoy* sewing, it gives me a break from my life and I'd rather sew than head ot the mall to browse at stuff I don't particularly care for. :soapbox why oh why don't they make girls clothes that are 1. reasonably priced, 2. good quality and 3. plain colored?

anyhow the rough patch is limiting myself when buying fabric to only things i can sew up before october.

umm and one big success ---> we usually borrow $$ for daycare and healthcare (recall i am a graduate student, working on a phd). this year i did my financial aid and budgeting and realized (a). we didn't borrow any $$ this summer and can still pay daycare/health care and (b). if i don't borrow that $$ then I don't have to pay it back. So...declined student loans. YAY ME!

kerc

07-24-2004, 08:33 AM

and second big success -- ikea minneapolis has been open for about a month now and I have specifically stayed away. i've been telling my husband we can go and look, but i find lots of stuff i never knew i needed until i got there. so....i'm saving some $$ and when we reach 200 bucks we can go. i am hoping that my new debt reduction attitude will mean that much of that 200 bucks will still be in my pocket when we actually leave the store.

angel04345

07-24-2004, 11:07 AM

Its alright Piglet just pick on me! :( Well buying a new truck is a differant circumstance for us then others! My husband has car that books for around 11,000! It is a sports car and its paid off. Alicia can't ride in the car (her seat doesn't even safely fit, not to mention I would LOVE to have another child and rear facing isn't gonna happen!) So he may not get 11,000 for trade in value but more then the typical trade. Plus since its paid off we would solve two problems. One he would get a truck (he just wants that) that could go in the winter. Two he would be able to drive Ali somewhere! So my husband doesn't know this but we are going to have it looked at by a dealership and see what the value is that they are willing to trade on and then we will pick out a truck. We will pay the balance in cash. The reason we need to wait until my car is paid is that I can continue making my car payments to myself and then have that cash to pay that balance.
See I'm not a bone head afterall! :thumb I just have to appease him! I have been fighting a battle over me staying home with him since I started doing it nearly a year ago! Hes a consumerist BAD!!! I just squeeze as much as I can out of the family budget to appease him so he doesn't make me get a job! God help me I love him and I can appreciate his need for THINGS but I also look at my daughter and know that what I am doing is good for her and he can wait for the fancy things! (and trust me hes NOT deprived now!)
At any rate hopefully you didn't fall asleep reading this! :yawning: Plus I hope that you can now understand what I am doing a little better....... :innocent

alison77

07-24-2004, 03:11 PM

hi mamas - i've been lurking around here looking for good ideas and learning a lot :) i just told my office that i'm cutting down to 60%, with one day from home, and i'm so excited about it. the downside is that my income is stable - dh is a student and waits tables so we have good and bad seasons with his work. we're moving into my mom's house so that we can afford everything but i really want to use some of the wisdom here to get ahead and continue getting us out of debt even with a lower monthly income. lots of thinking to do. we have two new cars (bought one when ds was born and the other when my husband crashed his a few months ago) and that's what i regret because our car payments are what are really trapping us.

Piglet68

07-25-2004, 08:39 PM

angel...now that you've explained it...you're a smart cookie!! :D :thumb

well, we got some really rotten news yesterday: our buyer has backed out. no debt-free time in two months, no extra money to help finance our move home....it was a big, big blow to us. but...we're staying positive. we'll likely have to borrow money from family to make it for the first 3 or 4 months, but I just want/need to be somewhere stable when this baby is born, and it is too late now to change our plans. in the meantime, dh is pounding the pavement, calling in all his favours/networking, and hoping to land a good paying job asap. by the time the money we borrow from family runs out, we should be in a position to move to wherever dh gets a job, though we are still really hoping to stay in our home town...

and there's always the chance we can find another buyer....but we can't count on that for the short term.

ugh...like i need this sort of stress when i'm so hormonal...

angel04345

07-25-2004, 08:53 PM

:hug Oh piglet.....I hope that you can push this all aside and remember that you will have a beautiful new baby soon! What could be more uplifting!

Peppermint

07-26-2004, 08:30 AM

Piglet- Well, that just stinks! I bet that you will find a new buyer soon, but you are so smart not to bank on that. :hug, let us know how things are going with your dh's job search.

Piglet68

07-26-2004, 01:39 PM

thanks, you guys! :love

yeah, I am pretty excited about the baby!!

...and DH and I just feel hopeful. After all, we realized that our "worst case scenario" is still so much better than many people have to look forward to. If we wanted to be both working, we could pull in a very nice household income, alot more than most people will ever see...but right now our priorities are being with our children while they are young, which means one income. We know these tough times won't last forever (and are grateful for the chance to learn good habits)...still, it's hard when we thought we'd be "out of the hole" in two months, and now it looks like it may be alot longer.

hey jess...think it's time to start a new thread? :D

kerc

07-27-2004, 08:41 AM

aww piglet. that stinks. it is new construction right? that should go faster than something that is "used" but new. and your post got me thinking about the real reason for being here -- the idea that someday things will be better. I was thinking that setting a deadline on when things will get better only puts pressure on us -- as it on November 1 I'll be debt free -- that kinda thing only makes me want to go out and celebrate on nov 1. the thing is "celebrating" is what got me here in the first place. So I need to get into the mentality that until my savings account is full, I am in debt.

Peppermint

07-27-2004, 09:31 AM

I am going to celebrate when we are out of CC debt, it's going to be a potluck party :)

And oh, can't find who it was right now that told me to check a the AT&T digital answering machines on ebay, but I had already bought an answering machine on the TP, well.. it came, and it is the exact one you were recommending on ebay :thumb I am happy with it.

Hmmm..nothing new on the debt front today- still plugging along.

Anyone got a small (or big ;) ) savings to share today, to keep us all motivated?

kerc

07-27-2004, 10:45 AM

I am going to celebrate when we are out of CC debt, it's going to be a potluck party

:LOL

:bag:
I just bought a bathing suit. It has been nice here and I've been to the beach at Lake Superior 5/7 days. I am tired of squeezing myself in to the only bathing suit I could find in my size in jan for dd's swimming lessons. The issue is the butt is cut tiny. Now I don't have a huge butt, but I am long in the torso so the combination means I basically hang out either in front or back. I got tired of wearing shorts over my bathing suit.

But the upside is we got a 200 dollar check from my BIL to whom we mailed our carseat/stroller and the family basinett. I had basically written off the shipping to them (<200 bucks) as a baby gift and sent a small, handmade gift.

and ummm, last week our dishwasher died. this week our washtub is stopped up (into which our washer drains). we decided to wait till we have the $$ to fix dishwasher and the washer is a necessity. SO we borrowed a snake and tried it ourselves first. Of course we're still having the plumber fix it, but it was worth the old college try.

bamboogrrrl

07-27-2004, 11:25 AM

Piglet: That sucks about your buyer backing out! There's some weird real estate statistic that says that the majority of first deals on houses fall through and subsequent ones are more solid. May the next deal be THE ONE! It'll happen - the real estate market is a house on fire with interest rates headed up.

Jess: I'd like to hear about your ebay business. Ebay intimidates me a bit as a seller, and I'd like hear about your adventures...

Random frugality notes:
Just hauled off a bunch of bags to the Salvation Army. That should be a nice donation for tax time (they left me to my own devices to fill out the receipt - how weird is that?). We are about to go away on a frugal vacation. Last year, I applied for and got an artist-in-residency gig (think rustic cabin on 200 acres at the top of a massive waterfall), and got invited back for this year. And it's free! Dh can come along with our dog and we'll hike like maniacs, kick back and read, and I'll get some writing done. Can't wait!

Peppermint

07-27-2004, 11:57 AM

bamboogrrrl- what would you like to know about selling on ebay? I've had great luck- but I sell, new, handmade, one of a kind stuff. Some of what I sell is really low priced- I sell 2 different types of things- one thing (stickers)is like 50cents to make, and they sell for at least $2, sometimes as much as $20. They ship in a regular stamped envelope. The other item we make is a bigger deal, handpainted/personalized (wooden signs), etc. The cost in materials is around $5, the time is a few hours, and they sell anywhere from $40 to $100, shipping them is more of a PITA, I have to make the box, drag 4 kids to the PO with me, etc. In the end, it's still worth it though. I have "met" some of the nicest people selling on ebay, mainly men who seem to love to support a WAHM and are great about passing my name around.

We have tried a few things that flopped, but seem to have found our market now. I really enjoy selling on ebay as you know the person really wants whatever it is they are bidding on, they sought it out- as opposed to me Usborne books business, where people sometimes feel guilted into buying something at a home party.

If you want to talk specifics of selling on ebay, pm me, I have 100% positive feedback and really enjoy the selling there :thumb .

Piglet68

07-27-2004, 02:40 PM

kerc: i can relate to the new bathing suit purchase. got me a cheapo maternity suit from Old Navy online, felt a bit guilty, but I've gotten lots of use from it already, and spent some wonderful sunny afternoons with DD at the pool! :love

And yeah, our place is new construction...we're hoping to sell before closing to save us having to fork out for the taxes/downpayment...we've found a new listing agent who seems very promising, so we're keeping our fingers crossed. it will sell eventually, and we will make a profit, it would just be nice to have it happen soon!

...your post got me thinking about the real reason for being here -- the idea that someday things will be better. ...the thing is "celebrating" is what got me here in the first place.

Yeah, I feel the same way! In fact, we had a sit-down meeting (DH and I) one night after DD had gone to bed, and discussed in detail where the money from the sale would go. JUST to make sure we didn't go nuts "celebrating".

And I think the lessons we've learned during this past year have really, really helped. It has completely changed the way I look at debt, at financing, at using credit cards. Hopefully we will not find ourselves in this situation ever again...paying off the debts is only half the battle, the other half is sticking to the new habits so as not to get into that situation again.

What is also interesting is I bet our household incomes range substantially in this group. We often think "when I make more, I'll be better off" but sadly, IME, this just isn't true. My income has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years, from when I was a lowly grad student, to now a senior fellow...and yet I'm no better off than I was before, and actually have more debt.

Peppermint

07-27-2004, 02:51 PM

Kerc- I am soooo hurt by you mocking my pot luck celebration, laughing at me, well--- I think it's good idea and I am shocked that you laughed at me---clearly you don't belong here NOW LEAVE MY THREAD! :crying:

:rotflmao :laugh: :bgbounce Just kidding! :D

What is also interesting is I bet our household incomes range substantially in this group. We often think "when I make more, I'll be better off" but sadly, IME, this just isn't true. My income has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years, from when I was a lowly grad student, to now a senior fellow...and yet I'm no better off than I was before, and actually have more debt.
So true- though we've never been *really* well off, our debt is now at it's worst, and dh is making the most he ever has. Dh's grandmother was GREAT with money, and her thing was to bank any raises, b/c clearly they could live just fine at the rate they were at, I mean, yes, the cost of living does go up, but usually not as much as raises, yk?

That said, if dh got a $20,000 raise tomorrow, we could be out of debt next year by simply maintaining, instead of all this HUGE worry/stress. ;)

Piglet68

07-27-2004, 04:12 PM

jeez, jess, ya gave me a heart attack...i didn't scroll down enough and I was about to write "hey, i think kerc was laughing b/c it was a great idea!"...whew!

yeah, i always said when I got a raise i'd keep living at the same level and just increase debt payment, but by the time the last raise came (the biggest one yet), i had been a sahm for over a year and we'd racked up too much debt. sigh!

Peppermint

07-27-2004, 04:17 PM

:LOL- well I got Piglet, let's see who else I get with that one :D .

bamboogrrrl

07-27-2004, 04:25 PM

Jess, that is so durn cool that you can create beautiful things to sell on ebay! You made my day. I'll to think long and hard about an ebay "idea"...

Piglet said: "What is also interesting is I bet our household incomes range substantially in this group. We often think "when I make more, I'll be better off" but sadly, IME, this just isn't true. My income has almost quadrupled in the last 10 years, from when I was a lowly grad student, to now a senior fellow...and yet I'm no better off than I was before, and actually have more debt." (Can I figure out to use quotes yet? Jeez...)

ARE our incomes substantially different? I wonder if coming from a relatively priviledged background gives one a foundation, a sense of esteem to run against the consumerist culture we live in. It's easier to revolt when one doesn't also have to battle true deprivation.

There was an interesting thread a while ago on the Simple Living Dicussion Forums regarding the socio-economic backgrounds of people drawn to frugality/simplicity. One poster posted (and then deleted) his frustrations that his peers on the forum seemed to be largely white, white collar folks. He felt kind of alone as a blue-collar worker interested in this stuff, shooting for eventual financial independence (F3 in YMOYL). The guy that wrote YMOYL was a Latino, experimenting with all sort of communal living arrangements to keep his costs down in his F3. I think at the time of his death, he was living on $500/month. I think about the cultural implications of simplicity/frugality because I'm dealing all the time with students of many races and beliefs. I think about how I can better get across to these students how valuable it is to not let institutions (banks, credit card companies, etc.) own us...

MaryLang

07-27-2004, 05:43 PM

Well so far good news on this front. We just qualified for a second mortgage, which I was trying to avoid, but it just got to the point where we couldn't even afford to pay for gas with cash. Our payment will be 1/6 of what it was, and we'll be able to pay triple on that, so we should have it paid off in about 5 years. Oh, such a weight has been lifted of our shoulders. But I know we still need to be diligent about getting rid of this debt and staying out of it.

ameliabedelia

07-27-2004, 07:26 PM

I don't have time to post much, but I just wanted to say that I have been lurking and reading the threads, and you all have SOOO inspired me. We don't have too much debt, but we have one car and one student loan and our goal is to be out completely in 2 years. We are in the process of selling our house now, and are moving up North. So, we are going to be making some major purchasing decisions soon. As soon as DH finds a job up there, we will need to find a place to rent and replace all our furniture (we are selling all of it). You all have totally inspired me to look for frugality and not pay attention to the "extra's" Before, I would have been totally willing to pay more on rent for a bigger place, but now we are just looking for a smaller home/apartment and cheaper rent. We are going to buy all used, crappy furniture cheap at garage sales and thrift stores. We have been eating out less lately (not that we eat out much, but we have been really careful about even things like stopping at McDonald's or stuff, those types of things add up, plus it is so unhealthy). I have been hemming and hawing before making any purchases. I almost bought a wrap sling the other day, but then Piglet shared with me on our pregnancy thread that I can just buy fabric of the right length, width and type and ta da, I have a wrap so I am going to scour the clearance racks and sales to look for cheap fabric. I decided I am not going to buy ANYTHING (except for groceries) without thinking at least a week about it. So, I just wanted to say thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. Although I am not an active member of this thread, I have been learning A LOT from you all.

root*children

07-27-2004, 08:37 PM

On the note of furniture, especially since you'll be starting from scratch at your new abode:
Let everyone there that you know, know that you will take ANYTHING for free. Get the word out, at work, church, whatever. Not saying that you have to use everything that's given, but you should graciously accept. And let them know that if you can't use it, you'll find someone who can. We did this specifically for furniture and now have every single piece of furniture we need. We did have to make do with a super-crappy couch for nearly a year. Then this Spring, a guy my DH works with, knew a woman who was getting new couches and going to throw away her old ones. Well, it turned out her old ones were actually SUPER nice ones!! They easily were worth $1000. The owner was upset because there was a 2" tear on the arm of one. So I just sewed it right up, and we have the nicest furniture I've ever owned!

kerc

07-27-2004, 08:50 PM

briefly bc I am in the midst of some work-related computer time. But i got your joke (without scrolling down) and was laughing so loud a co worker asked what I was laughing about.

on income...i've found in the past the more I make, the more I want. must rework this idea. I am still thinking "when i get a real job (not grad student) my car stiuation will improve" working on this every darn time i get into my (very nice) car. I really do want to feel at a gut level that I don't "need" something better. I guess it is about embracing what you have (family, happiness, etc.) the nonmonetary things. I appreciate those, but man oh man it is so tough to loose everything you were raised on, you know?

Peppermint

07-28-2004, 09:56 AM

A thought for other home-improvement minded folks on this thread:

I have a running list in my head of things I want to do with the house (We have a house built in 1925), most all of this costs some money...so...

I am making a list of stuff I need to do around the house that will cost little to nothing.

When I walk into my bathroom, I could focus on the fact that the lights are sooo outdated, or how the floor is sinking a bit in one spot and needs to be re-done-----or, I can focus on how I need to finish painting the closet door (needs one more coat) or the window (also needs one more coat), or--how about the fact that I need to scrub the floor :eyesroll . Sure- the medicine cabinet is hideous, big gold/floral framed mirror- but- hey- I have a medicine cabinet- and it's got a big mirror- with toothpaste spots, I should clean that thing :LOL

Just a part of my free to low cost list of to do around the house stuff:

~Clean out the lower back yard, get all the sticks out, and rake really well, to get the play area ready for the kids
~sand, paint the deck table
~paint the kitchen baseboard
~deep clean the basement to get ready to paint it
~use old leftover paint to do the closets
~use the slate pieces from the old steps to make a patio area out back
(I could go on and on)

the point is- I have 3 kids, dh and a dog to care for (OK, dh helps and can care for himself ;) ), but seriously- when will I even get all of that stuff done, let alone, be spending money to do other things? There is a lot I can do to make our home better without money :thumb

Amelia- e-mail me the details of what's up with you guys when you get a chance, I've been wondering. ITA with the PP who said, just let people know what you need, and I bet you'll be shocked at how much you can get for free. Moving is one of the hardest things for saving money/being frugal, but you do the best you can.

kathsmom

07-28-2004, 01:49 PM

Hello, Mamas!

Sorry I haven't been around too much. As usual, my life is crazy!LOL!

I don't know if I told you all, but my DH cuts yards in the evening to bring in some extra money. He has one yard that he cuts every week and 3 yards that he cuts every other week. One man pays him in big lump sums rather than each time he cuts the yard. So, we got the lump sum check the other day, as well as checks for 3 other yards. One of the homeowners also wants him to trim her shrubs and get on her roof and clear out the gutters (extra money! cha-ching!). I have saved this money and have not spent it. With the commission check that DH will receive for his sales in July, we should be able to pay off the credit card and have a little left over to buy DD her school uniform! That is my GOOD (Get Out Of Debt) deed of the month!

Our next plan of attack is to save money for DD's tuition for the following school year (2005-2006). (DD will be attending a private school for children with average to above average IQ's, but who have learning disabilities. She is very bright, but has processing and visual memory problems). We are also going to attack the car payment, followed by the home equity line of credit (it's at a lower interest rate than the car).

I am trying to catch up with you all and what is going on. Good luck with everything! Thanks for sharing, mamas!

kerc

07-29-2004, 09:08 AM

I have a running list in my head of things I want to do with the house (We have a house built in 1925), most all of this costs some money...so...

I am making a list of stuff I need to do around the house that will cost little to nothing.

Ok so yesterday I was hanging around the backyard, supervising the ride on toy riding and decided to finally start staining the deck. We never finished/waterproofed it last summer when we built it and we bought a gallon of the stuff. So i broke out the paintbrush and did as much as I could before I got sick of it. I intended to repeat as much as I need to before it is all done. A little every day won't kill me.
thanks for the inspiration!

kerc

07-30-2004, 08:49 AM

:banana our laid-off electrician neighbor came over during my exercise time yesterday and offerred to re-wire the entire basement for the cost of parts. :yikes: I tried to barter with him and offered to do a week or two of daycare for his 10yo (single dad) when he goes back to work....no dice. He said "I just want to do a neighborly thing" soooooo worth missing the run. he's doing it in the next few days. he mapped it all out and made a parts list. he's going to come over, maybe even today (dh works from home).

So i am psyched. We have a small house, dh works from home and during the winter it begins to feel a bit small. We're adding a room to our basement.

Peppermint

07-30-2004, 09:19 AM

Kerc- WOW- that rocks- what a neighbor! If he's still bored when he gets done there, send him to NY for me, ok?

So, I got together with an old friend yesterday, it was nice to see her, but didn't do much for my "be happy with what you have" mindset, she and her dh both have high paying careers (they work hard, I don't begrudge them this), but they have a super nice house in a super nice area, and the inside looks like a pottery barn catalogue, every bit of furniture in there is brand new, and she mentioned that she wants to get rid of her couch and chair to replace them with leather so they would clean up easier. Next time we get together she'll be coming here, and I'll be embarrassed of the house I am usually proud of, sigh....but- I won't try to keep up with the Jones', they have it, and we don't- end of story. I can't even make myself feel better thinking that they are in major credit card debt or something- b/c her dh is really tight with money and I have no doubt that it's all paid for. OK, I am jealous :innocent , what a bad friend I am.

Amelia- As soon as you figure out where you will be moving to, sign up for the freecycle list there, the one I am with here is hopping with stuff. Furniture stuff is listed daily, that should help furnish your new place :thumb

I have a wedding to go to tomorrow, am taking a homemade gift :thumb .

I am so into what someone said a few pages back about "the only things worth going into debt for are education and a house". DH and I talked and have decided that will be our new mantra (well, that stuff and health care costs ;) ). I thought about making that my sig. line, but that might make someone mad/hurt, so I will stick with what I have now.

Going to the Parish Irish Festival tonight- planning to eat beforehand, and just enjoy the music, we'll make a donation, but we won't be buying any crap or junk food :D .

Anyone got anything fabulous to share about their recent GOOD deeds?

BTW Piglet- maybe you could start the new thread for August next week? People like you and might stop in to the thread if they see it's started by you- although you might not want to be "known" for being in debt :LOL, in which case, I'll start it again, let me know.

kerc

07-30-2004, 09:37 AM

and she mentioned that she wants to get rid of her couch and chair to replace them with leather so they would clean up easier.

:LOL maybe she'd give it to you???

sorry, I don't mean to make light of your situation. It is a tough one. A handful of things stand out for me --- you begin by saying "they work hard" --- do you want to work hard? do you get a lot of joy out of working hard at a career?

I think I realized last year sometime that should our house be burning down, yeah I'd miss all the stuff, but I wouldn't be running around trying to grab it all. I'd be grabbing my dh, my dog and most importanly my precious dd and holding them tight.

she probably loves you for who you are, not what your couch looks like. and if she doesn't then she doesn't deserve your friendship.

Peppermint

07-30-2004, 09:50 AM

:LOL maybe she'd give it to you???

sorry, I don't mean to make light of your situation. It is a tough one. A handful of things stand out for me --- you begin by saying "they work hard" --- do you want to work hard? do you get a lot of joy out of working hard at a career?

I think I realized last year sometime that should our house be burning down, yeah I'd miss all the stuff, but I wouldn't be running around trying to grab it all. I'd be grabbing my dh, my dog and most importanly my precious dd and holding them tight.

she probably loves you for who you are, not what your couch looks like. and if she doesn't then she doesn't deserve your friendship.

:LOL, believe me, when she said she was getting new stuff, I did think
"what is she going to do with this stuff, hmmm...."

Yeah- if I were a working mom, we could afford a lot of stuff too, but I do prefer to be at home with the kids, it is just hard to walk into a pottery barn house, yk? I feel proud of my house most of the time, but it is so nothing compared to hers.

If our house were on fire, I would grab the kids and dog (dh can fend for himself LOL) and then pictures and my hutch that dh built me, in theory, and of course, maybe the laptop, so I could log onto MDC and tell you guys how all my credit card statements burned to the ground :LOL.

I am just thinking that going to her house may not be a good plan for me, we could hang out here, or better yet, just get together at parks and such :thumb

root*children

07-30-2004, 10:32 AM

You totally should ask her what she's doing with the old furniture! If you need furniture, that is :) She'd probably be happy to know it was going to a good home of a friend!

Just wanted to chime in today and say WOOOOOOOOOOO-HOO! for 3-payday months!! We paid all utility & c.c. payments last payday, so today all that's due is rent and I can actually put aside $$ to make next months debt payments bigger! yippee!

Indigo73

07-30-2004, 10:47 AM

Dready Mom - I know isn't it fab? And there is another 3 Pay Day month in December.

Also wanted to share that DH has a 2nd interview for an Asst Manager position at a video game store. He is so excited (working at his version of heaven). That store also has a high turn over of assts becoming store managers. Yippee.

My promotion and pay scale start (major jump) on Monday too. So we will actually be able to put money aside, hopefully his entire check after the first 2 get us caught up. Come January part of his check will go toward schooling but I am fine with that.

rowantree

07-30-2004, 11:04 AM

just wanted to say hi, ive been following this thread this month and love you ladies already. We arent in bad debt - just 1 HUGE car payment and some old stuff in collections that need to be taken care of eventually. The car payment is killing us, life without it would be so easy!. Im trying to get everyone to change their spending habits,but its really hard..especially for the kids and dh, actually I hate it too *boo hoo*.
We're off to the FREE lake/beach, with lunch packed from home!

angel04345

07-30-2004, 12:35 PM

I want to say WOW I wasn't gone long this time! :blah Lots of happenings! We got DD's doctors bills! WOW this is only for April 142.80 and she goes MONTHLY! How nice of the insurance company to pay 7.50! Thats such a rip off! I could have just paid it all and saved a bundle not paying the ins comp! :irked: We are looking for another place that goes by your income since we are eligable to pay less but not for our states medical ins. (how odd!) So we are keeping on a child that I was no longer going to watch to fund DH's car registration and DD's birthday. It will be nice to use money we never planned on so that we can put money that we would have spent on her bday into those drs bills and paying things off! So I guess that is good that I had that option! Then I have a child that is starting in four weeks to take that slot! WOOO HOOO!
Piglet or pepermint, how do you make your own sling!? I would LOVE to have one but am not willing to spend that type of money for it! It would be nice when I have three kids and two seats in the stroller so I could go for a walk!
Pepermint I try to remeber that its not about what we have its about having a home! (rented or owned) for my family to rest their heads every night! I would rather be home and share this time with her then to get a job and work to have things. My DH is very into having things and so this is a difficult time but we are trudging through! I bet your friend would give all the THINGS in the world to have the time with her children.
Well I have to go girls..........Good luck and happy paying off debt!