Any other March 05 mamas have a home vbac?

[Wildcrafter]

Just looking to connect other mamas who are planning a homebirth vbac.
Just talked to my potential midwife yesterday - I've heard great things about her and look forward to meeting her.

My family (both mine and dh's, except for one sister) are so against homebirth, I'm debating as to whether to even tell them! I'm thinking about going with a "don't ask, don't tell policy" because they will all be assuming I will be having a hospital birth. I just don't want all the negative imput. I've already received a rash or crap because I'm not scheduling another c-section!!

Oh well, I have a good support network of friends and La Leche ladies and one sister who will help me get through this. I'm about 6 weeks along and feeling pretty good.

I'm determined to remain positive.

Mary

[lavendermama]

Hi Mary!
I am planning a home VBAC! This will be my first homebirth, my second VBAC and I am so excited! Our local hospitals have stopped doing VBAC's so I am truly pushed into a corner. I have always wanted a homebirth but my husband is a little concerned. At this point he sees my reasoning and we are meeting with a midwife next week. I totally understand you not wanting to tell anyone who will be negative. My mom knows better than to say anything, but I have asked her to not tell anyone our plans. We have a doctor in the family and he said to not even go with the VBAC last time. :irked:
I also told my friend last week our plans and she said "well they (homebirths) are fine if nothing goes wrong". She is now off the list of attendees! I only want postive reinforcement.
Why did you have your c-section? My first was vaginal, second breech and c-section, then my last baby was VBAC.
I look forward to bonding with you! ;)

[Wildcrafter]

Yeah, Melissa! I'm so glad you're here!

I had my 1st as a c-section because I completely shut down progress as soon as I got to the hospital. My midwife (cnmw) was not available and I had a ob who was nice but just checked in every few hours. I had no labor support. Also, as soon as I got there my bp was slightly high so I had to be put on the bp cuff and the fetal monitor. When my bag broke and there was meuconium in it, I had to have suction the whole time as well!! After being on my back in a hospital bed hooked up to all this crap for 20 hours and making NO progress (I entered hospital at 6cm), my midwife finally returned from her other birth and said I needed to induce. That was just about the last thing I wanted to hear. She had to call in the next OB (the other had gone off shift) and she determined that "There was no way that baby is going to come out on it's own" because of the size of the head. The whole thing seemed doomed from the start.

I had a lot of expectations about giving birth naturally. I think this time I will be a little more educated and limited in my expectations. I am going to muster up as much postitive energy as I can and visualize a healthy happy birth.

It was really good to hear from you.

Still debating on telling family. I might wait a few months so I have time to be totally happy about the decision so that I am more confident when talking about it, kwim?

When I told my mom about being pregnant, she asked me when I had scheduled the inducement and c-section!! I told her that that was no longer considered the safest route for all women. She was NOT convinced.

My husband is concerned, too. You can't really blame them when they are hearing all this negative and scary stuff. Let me know how it goes meeting with your midwife. We'll be meeting ours soon too.

When's your due date? Mine's the 18th.

Mary

[Gale Force]

Hey ladies. Just lurking. We just moved into the sticks -- 45 minutes away from a mediocre hospital and over an hour away from a decent one. My husband has said no to a HBAC. I'm shopping around at this point, but it will definitely be a hospital birth (it appears that there are no birth centers within 2-2 1/2 hours).

[LynnE73]

I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with #2 but I've known I was going to have a hvbac since I had the first one. Last time I had a OB and it was just terrible. I'm incredibly fortunate to have Nancy Wainer Cohen as my midwife this time!
Congratulations ladies!
Lynn :D

[lavendermama]

It sounds like you will do fine as long as you don't go to the hospital! :) My labors do not slow down at the hospital but the pain increases immediately. I feel like a caged animal, being hooked up to all the machines, etc. They also never have believed me that I was in labor. Twice they sent me home. The first time I didn't make it out the door and my water broke. The second time I had to return 1/2 hour later for an "emergency" c-section. The last birth the doctor didn't believe that my water had truly broken and checked me with a speculum while I was in active labor-fun!
I hope your metting goes well with your midwife and your husband's worry is put to rest.
I believe I am due the first week of March.
Gale,
i wish you luck on your VBAC. Are the hospitals in your area still offering them? Scary times with insurance companies having the say!

[Karennnnn]

Me!! Mee!!!! :)
I'm so excited about this that I'm scared that something horrible will happen.
There are so many reasons I want to do it besides the obvious.
I have a younger sister who will probably be having kids in the next few years; I want to show her how normal and wonderful birth can be.
The last time she saw a birthing woman it was my older sister flat on her back in the hospital with an IV and epidural. SHe looked more like she was in the ICU rather than L&D. Although aren't they the same thing nowadays??
But I digress :)
I am also in debate about who to tell that I will be having a home birth. My biggest dream right now is writing out a birth announcement that says the baby's name, that he/she was at least 10 pounds (heheh), and born at home.
I myself was born at home, although accidentally. My parents had no idea what to do and my mom didn't even hold me until the ambulance got there. Kind of sad... but at least I got to choose my birthday.
Anyway, my parents have both expressed concern about a homebirth thinking it's not safe. We haven't discussed it in a long time though. They actually don't even know I'm pregnant yet. My son keeps telling them that he's having a baby, but they just don't get it lol! We've decided to just let it go and see how long it takes them because it's getting kind of hilarious.
I'm having a lot of mixed emotions... Part of me wants to invite the world, the other part just wants the necessary people. I may not have a choice in the matter when it all comes down to it though.
I'm lucky to have found what seems to be a great midwife. I won't meet her until 12 weeks; so I still have over a month to go. That drives me nuts because the first part of pregnancy is almost like not being pregnant, but I'm sure the rest of it will fly by and I don't want to rush things.
My first birth was a failed induction. I got to push for a little while but the baby was posterior and having decels, so the ob suddenly wanted to do a section. Then the section seemed to not even happen until a half hour later. I remember the anesthesiologist saying "I thought this was an emergency". D'OH!!
Second birth was at the same hospital with an induction too. I have no idea why I agreed to that. They broke my water and within 3 hours my son was born. No other augmentation so that's good. I always knew I wanted to try a home birth, but after having my son naturally and him being a vbac I felt pretty empowered and knew I would never go back to the hospital unless it was truly necessary.
So here I am. Right here with the rest of you ;o)
Take care!
Karen

[Gale Force]

Gale,
i wish you luck on your VBAC. Are the hospitals in your area still offering them? Scary times with insurance companies having the say!

That's the question. I haven't checked lately but know about the general trend. I'll file suit if I have to.

[TOmomma]

I'm a bit late off the mark, but I to would LOVE a HBAC. Unfortunately, fter my last experience which I wanted to be a home birth and ended up a c/section, I don't think not-so-dh is going to go for it. On the other hand, if things continue the way they are now I'll be a single parent and I'll be able to do whatever I want.

Sorry, I know I sound a bit bitter. I'm having a bad day.

I'd settle for a VBAC with no intevention. Just me and the midwife (in the hospital).

[jbking]

I also had a c-section after an attempted home birth (5 29 03) and now am due with my second Jan 05 and am planning an HBAC. I say become a very well read and knowledgeable person when it comes to statistics on uterine rupture and other complications involving VBACs, that way when people ask you about your choice you can give very informed intelligent answers which for the most part seems to put people at ease even if they do not agree with your decision.

mama to Niamaya Rose 5 29 03 new baby Jan 05

[CityGirl]

:wave Me too me too me too!!!!

I just posted in the VBAC forum on this subject. I'm definitely planning an HBAC but people are such incredible a--holes about it. I don't plan to spontaneously mention it to everybody I talk to, but I also don't plan to lie to people who specifically ask where I'm birthing.

My c/s was for breech. I had a healthy, normal pregnancy, as I anticipate this one will be. I love the thought of getting all my prenatal care at home. I love the thought of laboring and not having to leave home. I really want this. I just have to reconcile to the fact that people are not going to be universally supportive. Oh well.

[Karennnnn]

I'm kind of playing the don't ask don't tell route.
Although I'd like to shout it from the rooftops, I don't need negativity.
I can feel if it's the right situation and the right person so I'll save it for that.
I do medical exams on people applying for life insurance. I can't tell you how many times I've written down the history of a woman who has had one or more elective c-sections, some elective in the FIRST place.
Usually they make some quippy comment about it; almost like they're trying to justify it. Depending on what it is I might offer my knowledge on the subject.
One woman a few weeks ago got very emotional talking about her experiences (she had two c-sections). I talked to her a little bit about it; she apologized for being so emotional and that it wasn't a big deal. I made sure to tell her that it IS a big deal. Birth is a BIG DEAL!!! It's a life changing event among other things. I told her not to let ANYONE tell her otherwise, even a doctor. Told her that if she wanted to have another baby to call me when she was pregnant and I'd give her the names of the midwives in my area.
What was sad though was she didn't speak English very well, didn't know how to navigate a computer. I always love to share ICAN and Mothering with everyone who it can benefit and those who may not too :O)
It was an experience though because I've never looked another woman in the face and talked to her about it in that way; with the other woman upset about having had a c-section. Kind of like bringing it all to life.
TTFN!
Karen

[TOmomma]

I'd love a HBAC since I sure didn't get a home birth with my first. Maybe if I just wait so long the baby's about to fall out?? Sorry, honey. No time to get to the hospital! :D

[Wildcrafter]

So glad there are others so interested!

I am continuing with the don't ask, don't tell policy. I won't outright lie, but I doubt anyone in my family is going to ask me if I am going to have a homebirth!!! It feels good so far to not have that negativaty around.

Meeting a midwife next Saturday. She sent a bunch of info/articles about vbacs and dh is really starting to warm up. The more I think about it the more at peace I feel about it. I am sure it is the right thing to do.

In the process (already!) of setting up help for during labor and pp. My friend and her son (same age as mine and they've known each other since pretty much birth) will be there during labor to play with my son. Have asked one other friend and her toddler so far to come one of the following day to play with ds. And I will ask my brother (who is supportive, but whom I rarely see) to come for a day pp. He did this for me after my first birth - it was wonderful - he cleaned house, washed dishes, brought me food and water while I nursed all day! And he is very closely bonded to my son so that should work out good.

Still don't know how I'm going to pay for the homebirth. I've started praying about that - and frankly I'm not one who has prayed much in recent years! Praying for a solution to our financial woes. But I don't care - I'll put it on a credit card if I have to!

Let's keep the positivety (I can't spell that!) flowing here as best we can!


Hey, what's everybody's due date? Mine's 03/18/05.

Mary

[CityGirl]

Nobody asks me if I'm having a homebirth, but they ask where I'm delivering. It definitely puts me in the position of having to lie or tell the truth!

My edd is March 3rd. I think. I'm getting different dates from different calculators. :eyesroll

[lavendermama]

We met with the midwife and it looks like we will be going with her! I am so excited and really feel at peace with this decision.

[Wildcrafter]

Melissa, that's great you''ve met your midwife and feel so at peace!

I've decided to switch from my "don't ask don't tell" policy to outright lying after spending the weekend at the mil's (ha ha). I'm getting so much negative flak for not scheduling a c-section that I just don't feel able to take any more. And it would be so much worse if the homebirth was "out there". Well, maybe not outright lying but in the very least constant changing of the subject!!! (which incidentally is easy when you have a 2 year old!!) I'm not a very good liar! Getting pumped with questions - when's your next appt., will you have the same ob etc etc.

I think the longer I can hold off my family's knowledge the better.

Meeting with our midwife this Saturday.

Feeling good so far, just not very hungry, have to forcefeed! Walking every day, doing prenatal yoga and pilates a few times per week. Whenever I get a chance I am sending positive energy to my little baby in progress.

Mary

[Wildcrafter]

How's everybody doing? I can barely get out of bed in the morning - no energy! But the nausea seems to be passing. I seem to do fine as long as I keep busy but as soon as I sit down, I feel exausted.

Didn't get to meet our potential midwife last weekend, I had too much going on and decided to wait until after my husband's vacation. We'll be going camping for 4 days. I notice that I feel really good the more I am outside so camping should do me wonders - not to mention the lack of housework!!!!

Still am looking forward to meeting the midwife. She will have another midwife present (of over 20 years in practice) and a doula that both are included in her price. She herself has never been primary midwife at a hvbac, so it is good the other midwife is coming! But I still feel good about the decision to homebirth, really good. I'd like to birth on our sun porch. We have a window and a door between it and our living room that can be opened to heat it. It's a beautiful space and my favorite part of our home. Plus if it's during the night while my toddler is sleeping, my noise won't be heard.

Guess I was just checking in.....

Mary

[lavendermama]

Hello!
Have fun camping! We just went last weekend and it was fun, but when we got home I was so wiped out!
I have been taking care of all the insurance stuff related to the homebirth. They will pay for prenatal care but not the birth itself. They will also pay 20% of the supplies needed for the birth. It amazes me that they will pay 100% of a c-section but only 20% of homebirth supplies. What a bunch of idiots. Oh well.
Good to hear you are doing well!

[Wildcrafter]

Hey Melissa. Question, is your insurance company going to pay for your prenatal visits with your lay midwife? And how did you go about this? I am surprised and encouraged by this is that is the case.

We're on MaineCare (medicaid) right now. My OB's-CNMW's won't even see me now that we're going homebirth!!! They fired me! They're also the only one's in town (closest to me). I was hoping to keep them in case of hospital transfer but hey, they will have to be there for emergency care anyway and they won't have any knowledge of this pregnancy, which is to me, stupid.

But I am intriqued about insurance paying for the prenatals. Let me know about that, would ya?

Thanks, Mary

[lavendermama]

Hi Mary,
My midwife is a certified nurse midwife and nurse pratitioner so she is on my insurance's preferred provider list. I am shocked that the CNMW's won't see you! That doesn't make sense. Even if they don't support your homebirth choice (which being midwives it seems that they should!) you would think they would at least want your $.
We will be paying out of pocket for the actual birth. Just remember, our babies are due around tax return time. How considerate of them! I hope everything works out. With my last pregnancy it was such a roller coaster with the whole VBAC thing. You just want to relax and enjoy pregnancy, not be bothered by politics-you know?

[Wildcrafter]

Yes, the less stress, the better, I agree! Just trying to get the finances sorted out now (like it sounds like you are) so I won't have to worry about it.

Now, does will your CNMW be at the birth? In my state, they are not allowed, legally. I have a lay midwife, who cannot be clinically associated with any medical practice, who will do all my prenatals and attend the birth (with one other midwife and a doula). I hope that will change someday.

We'll be paying out of pocket as well but it will only be $1300 for everything. We'll start paying at each prenatal and she said we could even continue after postpartem if that was what we needed - she was real flexible. And like you said, old Uncle Sam will be coming through right about then with the old tax check!

I'm actually looking for a part time job evenings to help pay for the birth, and to get a little more social contact.

Mary

[lavendermama]

Hi Mary,
Yes, my midwife will be at the birth. I will go to her house for all of my prenatal appointments, then of course birth here at home. Because she is a nurse pratitioner she can also do my baby's well baby appointments! She will do the first 2 at my home then one more at her house, then of course my 6-week check up in her home.
$1300 is definitely reasonable. Here in Oregon the full scope fee is $3200.
Good luck on the job search! Social contact is certainly nice. I find that I want to talk people's ears off when I get around "grown ups" ;)

[Wildcrafter]

Yeah, she's great! I really connected with her during our first meeting. My husband even seemed a little less stressed, especially after learning that this midwife works with another midwife of 20 years, a doula and an assistant. And she also talked explictly about the few times she has had to transport to the hospital, and how the circumstances were extreme and outcome still good. I'm mostly glad that now my dh seems more at ease with the whole idea, and even offered a way to pay for it in installments. That just takes such a load off my mind, having his support now.

Still planning on not telling the family and that is going wonderfully. No one expects it so no one is prying about it. When someone asks me about appointments, I just talk about meeting with the midwife, they are used to that because I had a cnmw last time around. So far, so good.

It is incredibally calming to be at this stage in my pregnancy and to know that I am planning a home birth vbac. Just going through the process thus far has been a huge healing process already. I'm not scared or nervous. It just feels so good to be pregnant! Last time around, by this stage I had been told I might have a tubular pregnancy and might have to abort! Also was told I was high risk because of being 35 etc etc. I mean, what a difference, when you talk to a midwife who believes in you! I don't want to imagine the stress I would be feeling, at 38 and wanting a vbac, having to visit the ob's and hear about all the testing they want me to do etc.

It just feels so right.

How's everyone else feeling? I hope you are well.

Mary