Where will your new babe sleep?

[Free Thinker]

I was curious as to what the rest of the mamas here were planning on sleep arrangements! I'm still trying to figure it out :LOL For DD, I slept w/ her in a twin bed the first 2 months or so, then started putting her in teh crib so DH and I could have some alone time. She would wake about midnight, and then we would sleep together in the twin bed the rest of the night. She went thru a phase of going to sleep in our bed, then one night decided that she did't like that anymore, and now she is rocked to sleep in the recliner, put in the crib, and comes to our bed about 5:00 in the morning for a snack and a few more hours sleep. She likes her space :LOL We finally got a King size bed this spring, and I cannot tell you how nice it is!!!

For this baby I am considering several things:

Snuggle nest, put in my corner of the bed for the first few months
bassinet/playpen thingy pulled up to our bed (think co-sleeper type thingy), or just put this in spare room for naps? I'm not sure?
We do have the crib, but I think DD would wake baby up and vice versa if they were sleeping in the same room (they will be sharing), or will wake baby at naptime if I put him/her in the crib for naps.

Oh, and I know alot of you never use a crib. I understand and I like co-sleeping too, but this is what works best for our family.

[wtchyhlr]

We're planning on cosleeping from the start... probably with a sidecar arrangment.

[HydeParkB]

I considered a sidecar, but I think that will be problematic for us. I'm planning on have a bassinet a few feet from the bed.

Our complication is the multiple cats that have been allowed in the bed for these many years, and my need to sleep with lots of blankets. I think it will be easier to keep the cats out of the baby's sleeping area if it's not the bed. (Last time we tried to keep them out of the bedroom, they threw themselves against the door all night.)

[wtchyhlr]

That would do the trick. OMG. We have a puppy, but have him trained to sleep in a crate at night by the side of the bed. He loves his little den, so I'm not too worried.

[LianneM]

We bought a king bed when we moved here, so we'd have room for baby. :)

[TwinMom]

The baby will be in the bed with dh, myself, and Alec (he will be 3.5 when the babe is born). I'm not sure how we'll arrange everyone, but at least it's a king size bed so there will hopefully be enough room. I'd like to get Alec on a twin mattress on the floor, but dh is having nothing to do with that. He loves co-sleeping and doesn't want Alec to feel like he's put out of his bed.

[Destinye]

I do some co-sleeping some not because of dh, we got am amby hammock mobile bed its great and my dd loves it (or would not use it) www.ambybed.com

Good Luck

[kater07]

We will probably side car a crib this time. I loved having DS snuggled close to me, but he refuses to sleep on the crib matress now that it's a toddler bed. Sigh... it's gotta be that matress.

I just don't know.

[Boobs]

I would like to get a sidecar thing. Our cats sleep with us now, but they are going to have to get used to the laundry room once the baby comes. Not fair for them, but they'll be fine. We don't have a room for a nursery or anything, so we'll have to co-sleep in some form or fashion until we get another house.

[shannon0218]

We'll do a sidecar, dh has a habit of throwing his elbows around in the middle of the night--I've had a couple black eyes :(

[Lisashepp]

Well dd (3.5-- will be 4 when baby is born) currently co-sleeps. I bought a maternity air bed that I will probably need by August/September (or whenever I can't lay on my tummy comfortably anymore), and I am going to set that up in dd's bedroom and get her into her own bed with me in her room on the air bed. After the baby is born I might have dh sleep in dd's room with her (if she still needs one of us) and the baby will co-sleep full time with me from day one!

[*Amy*]

We'll be cosleeping as well, with the baby in the bed with us for the most part, but we'll have a bassinet next to the bed as well. I can't wait. :) It was fun explaining to DH's step-mom about the arrangement; she had a crib that she wanted to give us, and we had to politely decline and explain that baby will be with us. "OH!" she said. "Wow. I've never heard of that before. Aren't you afraid of rolling over on the baby?" Uh...no. People are funny.

[mama2m&m]

with my dd we started with a bassinette, moved to side car and when we felt comfortable just coslept in the queen.

i'm thinking this one we'll just go straight for the side car.if we had a bigger bed i might go straight to cosleeping but my dh ahs issues periodically lol. plus a queen doesn't seem to be much room, especially when dd crawls in with us :)

[heveasoul]

We have a King bed, and plan to have the baby in it with us, but are also considering a side cart, to keep our options open. For example, sometimes if dh stays up later than I do (ie watching tv), he just goes directly to our guest bed, so as not to wake me up (we both always read a bit before lights out). So if I were alone with babe in the bed, wouldn't we need him on the other side? Once the baby is fairly mobile, I mean...Also, I'm not sure about what to do for naps once the baby is over 23-30 lbs (limit for the arms reach). :scratch Maybe I'm missing something...I should start hanging out on the co-sleeping threads...

I guess for nights away - at my mom's, etc, we'd have the baby in the bed with us - or if we were to buy the mini-arms reach, it apparently folds up for travel...I know both sets of grandparents have cribs at their places, but I doubt we'd use them...we'll have to see, I suppose...

[Parker'smommy]

We have a King sized bed, but since we also have a very wild sleeping toddler in our bed too, I'm gonna buy a co-sleeper to attach to my side of the bed for the baby. I like that I can nurse the baby down and feel comfortable leaving the baby there while I have some alone time or hang out with dh in the family room before we go to bed for the night. It's probably the only thing I will buy for this baby except maybe a few slings and some new diapers!!!!

[Periwinkle]

For example, sometimes if dh stays up later than I do (ie watching tv), he just goes directly to our guest bed, so as not to wake me up (we both always read a bit before lights out). So if I were alone with babe in the bed, wouldn't we need him on the other side? Once the baby is fairly mobile, I mean...Also, I'm not sure about what to do for naps once the baby is over 23-30 lbs (limit for the arms reach). :scratch Maybe I'm missing something...I should start hanging out on the co-sleeping threads...

OMG sorry Heve but I am LOL at this - I'm in the same boat with all the questions. I need to start hanging on the cosleeping forums too b/c I am totally clueless.

We didn't cosleep with dd and ds because they were born early and came home from hospital on apnea monitors (a precaution required when babies are released before 36 weeks equivalent) - cords everywhere would tug loose unless placed perfectly and BEEEP so loudly your ears would burn. Plus there were two of them, and our bedroom only fits a queen bed. So they went in side-by-side to the same crib, just like they'd been for most of the time in the NICU. :love They were in the same crib til about 6 months, and are still in the same room. Our upstairs is really teeny and they are literally 10 feet away from our bed. No CIO ever. And I nursed them both all night every night as much as they wanted - I can hear them start to stir and have always been right there any time they need me. BUUUUTTTT.....

Here are my concerns:

I'm terrified of cosleeping and ending up with a baby who doesn't sleep, a dh who sleeps in the guest room, and becoming an exhausted stressed mother because I don't get the sleep I need.

And then I'm terrified of NOT cosleeping because I want to make a terrific start at breastfeeding and be able to keep my supply up for good - my supply with dd and ds started dwindling after I stopped pumping around 7-8 months, and started supplementing with formula (til age 14 mos. when we started cow's milk) and they weaned completely by about 21-22 months and even the last 6 or so months of nursing was only occasionally for comfort, in the evenings, or whenever they were sick.

But then.... I have two really attached kids who happen to be really great sleepers! As in 10-12 hours a night from about 6 months, plus nice long reliable naps every day. Dh and I are well rested and have time to ourselves every evening after the kids go to bed at 7:30ish, and we can wake up and take showers in the morning before they wake up (usually around 7am) if we want to get a head start on our day, without having to worry about waking up our kids. I'm completely paranoid of messing with a good thing. :hide:

So.... yeah, I'm confused, and just have 18 million logistical questions... like can you ever put the baby/toddler down for a nap and not lie down too? How do you do that safely without a crib? Will a baby/toddler ever learn to sleep for a decent stretch of time - how do you encourage this when you're right there? What do you do when you travel? E.g, my mom has a double guest bed (too small for me and dh actually and ZERO room for a baby). Is there a quality difference between bassinet in the same room vs. cosleeper vs. snuggle nest in bed vs. actual sleeping next to you skin to skin in your same bed? Dh and I love reading a little before going to bed -- how do you do this and cosleep?

OK, clearly I gotta get some books and do some more reading. :)

Great thread! :thumb

[milk_maker]

We're planning on cosleeping from the start, but I am purchasing a bassinet just in case because DH is very nervous that he'll roll onto the baby. I'm planning on putting the baby on my side of the bed anyways, but DH is insisting that we buy the bassinet "just in case."

[Truvie]

We'll be cosleeping with the new baby. We have an ArmsReach cosleeper that we bought for our son, but he refused to ever sleep in it -- he had to be touching me for the first few months. My son will be 2-1/2 when the new baby is born and I don't know where he'll be sleeping. Maybe we'll have moved him into his toddler bed by then. We like cosleeping with him and we all sleep well, so there's no big rush for us.

I had lots of these questions you all have asked before my son was born! Every baby is so different, it's hard to know how certain things will work out before s/he arrives. For instance, I planned to use a sidecar! It took me a couple weeks to get the hang of nursing while laying down. Once I did, life was easy, I caught up on sleep, and I never had the exhaustion many of my friends did (it also helped that my ds slept in 4 hour blocks!). My ds also never moved around in bed very much -- I know some moms get kicked in the face all night.

I had to stay with my ds for every nap (in the sling, in my lap, or in bed) until he was many months old. That was kinda hard at times. But everything since then has been a breeze -- he nightweaned at 23 months without a peep and even gets into bed at night when he's sleepy and goes to sleep by himself! So don't worry that cosleeping will create a sleep monster :-) A couple times when he was teething/sick, I had to physically get out of bed with him -- I couldn't believe how cranky and tired I was, and I couldn't believe that so many moms manage to get out of bed to feed babies every night!

When my ds could crawl, we taught him to safely get off the bed. I stayed nearby and was very watchful while he learned this. We also took our bed off the frame for a while. We put a bedrail up on one side of the bed and he sleeps either between the rail and me or between me and my dh. I've always read before going to sleep, and that's never been a problem; my kid learned to sleep through my barking dogs early on, so a nightlight doesn't bug him.

Dr Jay Gordon has a book on cosleeping, and I bet there are others out there too. I was really confused about how everything would work out, but it all did pretty easily. I remember reading in that Mothering issue on cosleeping about how one study showed that something like 95% of cosleeping mothers and babies sleep in the exact same position -- and it described exactly how I slept with my ds, down to where I put my arms, legs, etc! So I think maybe we instinctively figure some of it out.

Truvie

[jenn s]

we will co-sleep.. new baby, dd and me

[mehndi mama]

We've always co-slept, and this time will be no different. No sidecars or co-sleeper thingies, either - no room for 'em, and you can't breastfeed without waking up with those, either.

[Periwinkle]

No sidecars or co-sleeper thingies... you can't breastfeed without waking up with those, either.

Mehndi mama, can you go into detail of why cosleeper didn't work for bfing for you? I am really interested in hearing pros/cons of cosleepers. Thanks!

[mehndi mama]

Mainly, I have "sensual" kids - every one of them has a hard time sleeping without a warm body right next to them, and they are all highly touch-happy (nipple twiddling & skin-rubbing is a big problem with me, because my kids can never control their hands when they nurse, and actually have screaming fits if I try to restrain their hand.) Because of that, if they get moved into a spot that is not mommy-temperature, they wake right up. This has been consistent with all 4 of my kids - I can get them to sleep in bed and then gently move away from them if I tuck my body-warmed covers around them first, but I can't lay them down easily, or move them over easily.
I figure, I have a big bed, it's easier for me to move over if I have to, yk?
Anyway, about the nursing. Unless your baby is right at breast-level, tucked in with you, you're going to have to wake up to some kind of concious level to get them out of whatever sleeping contraption they happen to be in when they want to nurse at night. Which also means that the baby will have to wake up enough to let you know that they need to nurse. If the baby is right in bed with you, after that initial adjustment period, it is most likely that neither you or the baby will wake up to nurse. The baby will rouse enough to root, and you will rouse enough to help get the nipple to the baby's mouth, but that's all that it takes. And once they're done, they'll just let go, and you don't have to worry about waking them again to get them back in their bed.....which will have cooled down by that point.

I don't know - I may be prejudiced (my folks co-slept with my 4 siblings, the youngest being twins), but I've always felt that the co-sleeper baby beds shouldn't be called such. Because having a baby sleeping in their own little space isn't really co-sleeping (for the breastfeeding & warmth reasons mentioned previosly) - it's just putting their crib within arm's reach. True, your reaction time is much quicker than with the baby in a separate crib across the room or in another room, and the baby still has the benefit of not being alone, and can hear their parents' breathing, but they are still reliant on their own body heat to keep them warm, they aren't getting the carbon dioxide signals from the mother's breathing to keep them regulated, and they have to rouse more fully to nurse.

We use a bedrail on my side of the bed in the early weeks, and I find that that is more than enough security. You find that you become very aware of where your baby is, even when sleeping, and falling isn't much of an issue. If you are concerned about falling, though, you can always get rid of your bed-frame & put the mattress on the floor.

[Periwinkle]

Mehndi Mama thank you for the very thorough and extremely helpful reply. What you wrote makes a lot of sense.

Thanks again. :)

[mehndi mama]

You're welcome. :)

[heveasoul]

I'm with Periwinkle on the ?s, ?s, ?s...! So mendhi - the railing is on your side is because baby sleeps on your side, not between you and dh? How about naps, or if you want to stay up later in the evening than baby?

[mehndi mama]

I sometimes have the baby on the side of the bed, and sometimes between us. Depends on who is in the bed, and how comfortable I am in whichever position. For naps, the baby stays in the bed with the bedrail up. It's a king-sized bed on the floor, and I've never had a little one roll off or roll to the other side.....or even roll/scooch into another position while sleeping. I guess that would all depend on your particular baby - if you have a scoocher, you may be more comfortable with another arrangement for naps.
I do nap with the baby as much as possible, especially for the 6 weeks postpartum. And if you're hoping to use LAM for keeping your periods away, that's a good practice to get into, too - a nursing-nap at least once a day, where the baby has prolonged access to the breast and you are getting rest.

My girls were quite small when they were newborns - both under 7 lbs - and I was more comfortable bundling them into a blanket sleeper & a wrap-blanket & sleeping them on top of the covers, rather than having them under the covers with me. I just wore a warm nursing nightie, so my shoulders wouldn't freeze, and they still had all-night breast access.

The whole co-sleeping concept is a flux state - it is very dependent on your own sleep-needs, you baby's preferences, and how much you are willing to adapt. For me, the only thing that would make me give up in-the-bed co-sleeping would be a baby that absolutely can't be touched in order to sleep well. Anything else is workable, because I firmly believe that babies need to be ON their mothers 24/7 when very young.....or very nearly 24/7. (I do get up during naps if I need to, and can. But if I can't, I try to roll with it, yk?)

[Mama2Chloe]

When I was PG with Chloe, DH and I both said that the baby would sleep in the bassinet and then transition to the crib. We had it all set up. My friend was bugging me to read "Nightime Parenting" by Dr. Sears and to consider co-sleeping. I wanted nothing to do with it. When I gave birth, I couldn't sleep without her right beside me. I wanted to make sure she was breathing. I knew that I would be up every minute or so to check on her so we just ended up cosleeping from the start. I did read "Nighttime parenting" a few months later and really felt like I was doing the right thing. I thought it was fasinating that chemically you and baby get on the same sleep cycle so therefore you sleep better. Baby doesn't wake you up when you are in your deep sleep. Also, DH slept better because Chloe didn't have to cry to get my attention or to wake me up to nurse her.

With this baby we are going to continue cosleeping. We have a king size and I'm sure it will work out for us. I would urge all of you that are making the sleeping arrangement decisions to look into cosleeping. There is nothing better than waking up next to your sweet little baby every morning. BTW, dd has always slept really well and DH has always slept with us. Good luck with your arrangements :love

[justmama]

My dd has co-slept from birth until about 6 months ago(she just turned 4 a few weeks ago). I was a single mom with a twin bed and we just stopped sleepign well together and though I would have liked to co-sleep longer and I know she would have too, it just seemed like a good time to wean her to her own bed. Now I'm married and have #2 on the way. DH has himself convinced that the baby will be in a bassinet beside our bed for a while. He's mistaken. We WILL co-sleep. This is his first and despite his good intentions, he is pretty mainstream when it comes to that. This baby won't co-sleep as long as Madyson did but definitely for a while. The only baby equipment I am buying is diapers and clothing. I already have a sling from dd and we won't need a crib until baby is much much older and all the rest of the stuff is not necessary for us. Though I think I will miss shopping for all the stuff that people think they need for an infant! But I guess that means I can spend more on cute clothing since I'll be sewing diapers and not buying useless equipment!!!!!
Meg :D

[Orange]

I guess we'll see what this baby prefers/needs. I thought we'd co-sleep 100% with DD.

When DD was still super little, we did mostly co-sleep and she'd pretty much only nap in the sling. She went to bed early (7-ish) and would sleep for 4-6 hours. I was afraid to put her in our bed without me there so she usually spent that period in her bassinette. When she'd wake up to nurse, I'd bring her back to sleep with us in our bed.

I never thought about not waking up fully to nurse her until she was a bit older. I'd always get up, nurse her, change her, nurse her again, rock her to sleep, then bring her back to bed. I'd do this every 1-3 hours (after that initial long stretch).

Now that I'm wiser I'd just get up, nurse in bed, go to sleep. Much easier.

[Christi]

I'm definately going to cosleep with this baby. Right now Ds sleeps with me he is almost 3. Terrell sleeps in a diferent room. He doesnt' sleep well with us. I'm not sure what to do with Gareth when the baby comes. Our house is a two bedroom. One room is and office/terrells room. That is the only room we can put the computer in. The Queen bed won't fit in there So I can't move into there and give Gareth our current room. I think I will probably end up cosleeping with both and getting a side rail. Gareth always slept in the middle when he was little. I'm worried about the baby waking Gareth up during the first few weeks while we are all adjusting adn then having a tired cranky mom and son. Has anyone coslept with a toddler and an infant? I'd love to hear how you did it.

[kater07]

We plan to co-sleep. We haven't decided if that means a side-car or baby between us or simply putting the crib in our room for a while. DS slept between us until he was 15 months, then he went to his toddler bed in our room and now sleeps in the big bed in the guest room.

I am convinced there's something that he hates about his matress b/c he's only slept in his bed (convertable crib) a handful of times. He'll sleep for 10 hours in a big bed. He used to get hysterical if we put him on the matress of his crib. I just dunno...

Anywho, baby will be somewhere in our room. Most likely in a side car. But who knows? DS wasn't supposed to EVER sleep with us and DH just couldn't leave him in the bassinet (I was laying there sad b/c I wanted him in bed but DH had been adamant about him not being in bed with us). :)

Cheers!

[lillaurensmomma]

Well, it depends on the baby to be honest. With dd we assumed she'd sleep in her crib in her room like a good little newborn. HA! It wasn't long before I realized that getting up a zillion times a night to nurse wasn't fun. So I slept with her on the daybed. The problem with sleeping with her is that she is very warm natured and would cry if I was up against her (she also hated to be swaddled). So eventually we sidecar-ed her crib and she slept so much better that way. She would nurse in the night, roll over and have her own space. Then she'd come searching for mama when she was hungry:)

With this one, I imagine we'll start out with a bassinet in our room. If the baby seems to be a snuggler, we'll sidecar again so that the baby can be up against me without fear of falling out of the bed (dh is anticoleeping but will tolerate it as long as the baby isn't between us. In his defense he is a HEAVY sleeper and has rolled over on me a few times...he has reason to worry!) So we'll wait and see what this child is like before making any big decisions!


j

[HelloKitty]

We are co-sleeping with our 20 month old, we will probably either push a twin bed beside our bed for him or a sidecar for the baby so we can still be close but still have enough room for me and DH to sleep.