an update-the bleeding has stopped- the longest miscarriage journey

[lamplighter]

Hello friends. I have been journeying through my m/c with highs and lows, (highs because of the joy of dd brings) first I want to thank Mothering for the fabulous article in this recent issue of the magazine. It was so helpful and the poetry touched my heart and made me weep.

Last Tuesday I started to bleed VERY heavily (again) only this was different. There were no clots, it was like a period. In fact my midwives and I think it was my period. Here's what they told me "when your HcG level goes down to 0 you will have your period, it'll be heavy so don't be alarmed" and they were right! The heavy bleeding lasted 5 days and then it stopped. There was no tappering off like I would have for a normal period, it just stopped! Today is the first day that I am not wearing a pad!!! (YAHOO!!) I have worn them every day for 9 weeks!! I will find out today if my levels are at 0 ( 5 or below is good too ). I hope they are. Then my family and I can have our ritual and bury our beloved one in our memorial garden. I am making a small doll to represent our spirit baby and putting one of my "glad rags" with the blood in the pad plus a crystal for the souls journey. then we will add flowers and the written words of our ceremony. Then dh, dd and I can move forward. We will try again and I pray the next time our spirit child will wish to stay.

Thank you all for your kindness and healling words and Ms. Mom big hugs of gratitude for all you continued support and love that you've given me and to all you touch through this board. You are so amazing.


with love and thanks,

beth

[Jacque Savageau]

Beth,

What a journy you've been on. I do hope your levels are down and you can begin a new stage of greiving.

The cerimoney you have planned sounds so lovely. You've put yourself and your heart into it. This will give you something special to remember of your spirit baby.

Continue taking care of yourself. It takes time to heal both spritually and physically. Keep us updated on how your doing, and let us know how your cerimoney went (if you would like to share it).

I wish you the best and hold your baby in my thoughts.

[mamawasophie]

I wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you. I'm so glad that through this hard time you've also been able to find some joy with your dd. I hope that as your body heals it brings some peace and calm to your mind and spirit.

take care,
mamawasophie

[onehipmomma]

((((((((beth)))))))))

I have been thinking of you. Your ceremony sounds beautiful. I wish you the peace and serenity that you need as you continue to heal.

Christina

[peggy]

(((beth)))You are a strong an amazing woman!! I want to thank YOU for reaching out at this difficult time to help other Mama's here, as I have noticed you've been doing.

Your ceremony sounds lovely.

Many blessing on you and your family~~~~


peggy

[familykiss]

lamplighter,

What a beautiful way to celebrate the life of your baby. He/she is sooo lucky to have journeyed with you and your family. Your strength and compassion bears witness to the fabulous family you are for your next spirit child.

Thankyou for sharing your story, your courage, and your heart during all of this.

Love and Light - N

[lamplighter]

friends, thank you for your warm and supportive responses, I have been away healing and connecting with mama earth in lovely Vermont, I will write more about that in another post.

Blessings to all of you and and many thanks,

Beth