advice for dh....

[wwhippetcrazy]

Hi,

I thought I would post this here as I need a dad's advice.

At the end of this month I will be returning to work one night a week. She will be a year in August and I have been the only one to put her to bed as she nurses to sleep.
She will go to sleep without nursing during the day, either by cuddling, rocking or walking, but dh is always working during the day, so it is I that do this too.

I am forseeing a problem for dh to put her to bed (I could be wrong, but I like to know solutions before hand), especially since it is only one day a week. I will be working 530p-between 1230 and 2 am...so her staying up till I get home won't happen...she is wanting to go to bed around 9p.

We will pump and Dh is planning on laying with her in bed and letting her drink from her cup, pretending to be bf....
We are going to start getting her use to being alone with daddy for longer periods of time (as of now, the longest has been 1 hour)...

Any suggetions on what dh can do to make his time with her easier would be appreciated.
Thanks!

:D

[papabliss]

Hi,

Start working on it now. Maybe you should take off an hour before bedtime and see what happens. My DW is always amazed when I can get DS down for a nap or the night. When one had to do things, he gets creative and often successful.

Anyway, if you have a month to transition the bed routine. That should be enough time to figure something out.

Good luck.

[wwhippetcrazy]

Thanks papabliss...

We had a nice talk about it all...and I think things will go well...
I'm glad we have a month

[familyman]

as the dh of a midwife i have had many nights putting our three to sleep w/o the benifit of the breast. i have used a lot of tricks, singing while rocking against my chest, playing till they pass out, driving in the car, etc. i dont know what will work for your child but dad should just try not to take the tears personally. it is in mens nature to try to fix the situation. i found that if i remain quiet my child would lead me to what s/he needs from me. the times i nearly failed is when i would mistake the wanting of mom as a rejection of me. then i would slip into the trap of getting angry at dw for her work, for not being there, for the war in the middle east, for the moon not being made out of cheese, etc.... the point being that i was taking the tears as my failure at being a mom when what i needed to do was to be a dad and develope my own intuition at bedtime. it may get rough, it may get ugly, you may get home and your child is fine but your dh's nerves are frazzled and you now have to nurture him. but it is all worth it. the bonds that are formed are invaluable. not to mention when/if you have more kids, both of you will have your hands full and will both need bedtime skills. john lennon said it best when he said " all you need is love" the rest will fall into place if you dont get in the way

[wwhippetcrazy]

Thanks so much familyman!!

You are right and the more I realize he isn't going to do things "my way" or like me..the more I realize everything will work out in the end!:D

On our first trial run of dh and dd alone, I came home after almost 2 hours to find dd sleeping on dh chest...she was very peaceful, but dh did look frazzled and said she was upset:( , but I could tell he gained some confidence from it and will continue to do so.

I know that the bond they make now will be wonderful and she'll come to realize that dad may do it different, but it's just as nice:love

Thanks again!!

Jen