Devaskyla
08-01-2004, 04:32 PM
I have an appointment with a specialist OB at the beginning of September because I've had 3 miscarriages in 10 months. I had a bunch of blood tests done last week, but I haven't gotten the results back yet to know if they show any reason.
However, I'm reasonably certain I'm pregnant again. I'm not even a week past ovulation, but after being pregnant twice in less than 5 months, I know the early pregnancy signs quite well for myself and I already have the major one, which is no dry-up after O. Dh & I bd 2 days before O and on the day of O, though after it, so it's even more likely than the last 3 times (all of which were 5-6 days before O), and I'm pretty sure I felt implantation pain the other night. I'm not even going to bother testing this time, I know when I'm pregnant. I get pregnant easily, I just can't seem to keep them.
Am I insane for trying again like this without even knowing the results of anything? Part of me thinks that I should have waited until after I saw the specialist, but part of me feels like she's not going to be any help any way and maybe there's a chance I won't need to see her after all. Very unlikely, though. I also feel like I'm never going to have another baby, with or without help. I can't believe I did this, knowing I was almost certain to get pregnant again. I don't know how I can endure another loss, which I often feel is inevitable, but I also don't want to stop trying and put my life on hold. I've already waited so long, why should I wait another month?
My thoughts just keep going around and round like that and I feel so confused and off balance. I don't know what the right answer should have been, or even if there is one. I'm just totally lost right now.
However, I'm reasonably certain I'm pregnant again. I'm not even a week past ovulation, but after being pregnant twice in less than 5 months, I know the early pregnancy signs quite well for myself and I already have the major one, which is no dry-up after O. Dh & I bd 2 days before O and on the day of O, though after it, so it's even more likely than the last 3 times (all of which were 5-6 days before O), and I'm pretty sure I felt implantation pain the other night. I'm not even going to bother testing this time, I know when I'm pregnant. I get pregnant easily, I just can't seem to keep them.
Am I insane for trying again like this without even knowing the results of anything? Part of me thinks that I should have waited until after I saw the specialist, but part of me feels like she's not going to be any help any way and maybe there's a chance I won't need to see her after all. Very unlikely, though. I also feel like I'm never going to have another baby, with or without help. I can't believe I did this, knowing I was almost certain to get pregnant again. I don't know how I can endure another loss, which I often feel is inevitable, but I also don't want to stop trying and put my life on hold. I've already waited so long, why should I wait another month?
My thoughts just keep going around and round like that and I feel so confused and off balance. I don't know what the right answer should have been, or even if there is one. I'm just totally lost right now.