February 2005 mamas to be Aug.1 - 8

[ekblad9]

Here's the new thread! :)

Kater07 February
Chiku due Feb 1 birthing center
Parker'smommy (Heather) due Feb 1
Lisashepp (Lisa) due Feb 1
Sadkitty. Due Feb 1st
Dandylion (Stephanie) due Feb 2
Truvie due Feb 2
PeacefulVegan (who also answers to Tracie) due Feb 3
Lou due Feb 3
Orange due Feb 3 Birth Center with OB
Twin Mom (Deb) Due Feb 4, VBA2C homebirth
Free Thinker (Mandy) due Feb 5
HelloKitty (Kitty) due Feb 6
Letabug (Arleta) due Feb 6
LianneM due Feb 7 homebirth
TexasSuz (Susan) due Feb 7
Happymamajenni (Jenni) due Feb 7 hospital/OBGYN
LesleyLuu (Lesley) due Feb 7 (or 9th?) hospital/OBGYN
DeirdreAlison (Deirdre) due 1st week Feb homebirth, maybe waterbirth
New Life Due Feb 8
Shannon 0218- due Feb 11 hospital birth with great OB
ella-makes-3 (Jasmine) - due ~ Feb. 11 midwife/natural birth at birth center
Tug due Feb 12
Firefly due Feb 13
Christi due Feb 14 hospital birth with fab OB
Periwinkle (Karen) due Feb 14
Fairymomma (Pamela) due Feb 14
Jorie (Margorie) due Feb 14
AmBam (Amber) due Feb 14 homebirth
Wtchyhlr (Joy) due Feb 14
rose angel (Karen) due Feb 16
mama2m&m (Denise) due Feb 16
HydeParkB due Feb 17
Karennnnn (Karen) due Feb 17
Coopsmama (Kristen) Due Feb 17
Shyly (Monica) Due Feb 17
Gretchen Due Feb 18
weesej (Jen) Due Feb 19 homebirth
mehndimama (Stell) due Feb 22 unassisted homebirth
heveasoul due Feb 21, h/b with m/w
woolfairy (Elle) due Feb 27, baby #2 homebirth
Ekblad7+ (Amy) due Feb 20 Homebirth
KateSt. Late Feb. Homebirth
Chloe'sMummy #2
__________________

[Periwinkle]

Ekblad thanks for starting the new thread!!! (the last one was for 8 days). Now we're 1 day closer to meeting our little ones!

I'm 11w+6d today.... yipeeee almost to the 2nd trimester!!! I feel great actually, and am really looking forward to feeling the baby (for certain that is :)) soon.

[ekblad9]

I'm 11wks 5 days today. I am so ready to be in the second trimester. I can't stand this pukey feeling anymore. At least it's alot better but I want it to be gone!!!

[Lousli]

I'm 12w5d today. I don't know if I'm in the 2nd trimester now or Tuesday. Fortunately i have very little morning sickness left now. Most days I'm not hungry in the morning, but not actually very nauseated. I'm still a lot more tired than I'd like to be. Feeling kind of broke, which stinks, because now that I've decided on hypnobirthing I'd like to buy the home study course and now that I've decided to give cloth diapers a try, I'd like to order some (even though I won't need them for nearly 7 months!).

I went to a baby store today, a nice one, for a nursing/maternity bra that is light support and I could sleep in. Got a great one by Medela. I managed to not buy any baby clothes, toys, diapers (they had cloth there!), changing pad, a double stroller, carseat, etc. But OMG those clothes were so cute! I just can't wait to find out if it is a boy or girl, because if it is a boy, we will need some clothes. If it is a girl, we don't really need any, but I may buy a cute coming home outfit.

[Christi]

subscribing ;)

[ekblad9]

I think this is the poorest we've ever been while expecting a new baby. Luckily we have everything we need and then some. I did have to buy two new bras for my enormous breasts. I swear I am so fat everywhere! It's depressing. I'm hoping to start excercising again soon.

[Lousli]

I don't know how enormous you mean, but I know how you feel. I think I've outgrown my D cups now. When my milk came in with my DD, I was an F. I never knew there were F cups before. Nursing bras are an absolute neccesity though. I'm so tender right now that I really need goos support and soft straps that don't dig in.

How is everyone today?

[HydeParkB]

I'll be hitting 12 weeks in a couple days. It'll be time to tell my work, and I'm relieved. The pregnancy has affected my work a little, and I'd just like folks to know it's because a health reason, not because I've been going out to the bars during the week. (Boy, I miss that :) )

Today I tried to discourage my MIL from buying stuff for the baby, but I didn't have much luck. She's focusing on onesies and very basic clothes. She's shopping with my sister in law, who is due any day. Oh well, I think she's keeping it under control, and it makes her happy.

[ekblad9]

OK, it's 9:30 pm here and though I've had waves of nausea I'm still going. Not strong but still going. I even got to read a bedtime story to the kiddos. I can see glimpses of the old me! :D

[Lousli]

Excellent news Ekblad! Glad you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm off to eat, have a good evening everyone.

[shannon0218]

Well, we at least talked. He has agreed to go to councelling but prefaced that with his thought that it's unlikely he can make the changes that need to be made. He admitted he is selfish. I guess it comes down to the fact that he'll only make these changes if he really wants to make them and I'm not sure he really wants to change anything. I attempted to explain to him my feelings about him looking like a bum while representing my business. He accused me of being too protective of my business, I don't think it's something he'll ever understand. He's never worked that hard for anything. He works hard at his job, but he has no ambition to better himself or attain a higher position. I on the other hand have enough drive for 10 people.
Anyway, thanks for listening ladies, I'll keep you posted.
I'm feeling sick again today, have a terrible headache that I've had all day long, have puked a bunch of times and haven't eaten today. I think the stress is what is causing it.
I'm glad to hear so many of you are feeling so much better. It is a relief to be beyond that 12 week mark.

[wtchyhlr]

I was bored this afternoon, so registered online at amazon / BrU for the things i *think* we'll need. Mostly blankies and clothes and such. All gender neutral. And a car seat. and a pack-n-play w/changing table. We'll see what WAHM's have registries for diapers and slings, and i'll get those registered for eventually too. i've probably over registered, but i'd rather be able to make "strong" suggestions to people as to what to buy us. I want one of those baby hammock things from Amby, but can't figure out how to put it on a registry. we'll probably just end up buying it ourselves.

Here's to a new week, and second trimester. WOOHOO

[shannon0218]

Morning all,
Things are looking a bit up today. Steve joined me in bed for about an hour when he got home from work, then I decided to get up as my back was really sore. Anyway, in a toothbrushing incident, I ended up puking pretty bad (nothing in my stomach but acid--don't ya hate that??) Anyway, after I was done, he got up out of bed to ask me if he could do anything or if I wanted a cold cloth. I haven't talked to my friend who was going to talk to him, so maybe she lectured him convincingly. I think I need to find a completely new way to deal with him. When I think about his mother and the stories I've heard about his growing up, I think he's spent all his adult years doing things because he knows they will bug his mother--even if they are things he doesn't want to do or that inconvenience him. (this of course doesn't make sense to me, but I can see it) So I think when the stress hits, he reverts to doing this with me--especially if I I'm "telling" him what to do. We will go to councelling and maybe there I can find some new ways of dealing with the boy.
Joy, it sounds like fun to start registering for the baby, maybe I'll look into starting that to cheer myself up. :)
On the boob issue, I'm in trouble! I used to be a C cup, but with every pregnancy they've gotten bigger and not shrunk. So now I'm in a snug DD--I suppose it's good that I had that breast reduction or I'd be needing specially made bras.

[Boobs]

Man, I just thought I had big boobs!! :eek You mommies make me look like a pancake. :LOL I'm still squeezing into my b cup bras, but I'm definitely a full c now.

Today I'm getting ready for our drive to New York tomorrow. We're following the inlaws in our own car, thank goodness. The original plan was to all ride together in a rented minivan. That would have been pure torture. Today is busy though because dh doesn't have time to help out at all. He's working all day and today is his last day at this restaurant before he transfers to another one next week. He's a busy guy. I don't know how I'm going to get it all done today cause I get wiped out so easily. With my last pregnancy, I slept the entire first trimester. I think this time I'm going to sleep through the second. I can't seem to get enough sleep.

Shannon, I'm so glad you and dh are going to talk to somebody. I really hope it helps.


Are you supposed to register if you're not having a shower?? I have no idea.

[TwinMom]

I'm 13w 3d right now. I think, for those of you talking about 2nd trimester, that it doesn't start until 14 weeks. Sucks, I know.

I still feel pretty sick. It's getting old! I am so looking forward to cooking again, something I thought I'd never say. I have to park my van on the street because my garage makes me vomit, which means that every time we get into the van it's about 200 degrees inside it, which also makes me feel sick, but not as much as the garage. Oh, I could whine all day about this stuff!

I had my first appointment with my midwife on Friday. She tried twice to hear the baby's heartbeat but it just wasn't cooperating, so she's coming back in 3 weeks to try again. If it were my first pregnancy I'd probably be freaking out about it, but since it isn't I'm not. I'm still throwing up, so I guess I'm still pregnant, right?

I forget who else is nursing, but is anyone else having some discomfort? It's getting really uncomfortable when Alec latches on; sometimes I have to breathe through it. Also, will my breasts get bigger like they usually do in pregnancy or will the nursing keep them the same size? I'm already in an F so I'm hoping they don't get any bigger!

I hope everyone has a great--and healthy--week!

[KateSt.]

Subscribing -- thanks Ekblad for starting this thread.

Shannon :hug I'm glad dh seems to be coming around a bit. I'm really pulling for you guys.

Gotta work....

[*Amy*]

Well I think this is goodbye for me, my MDC friends. I had some brown spotting yesterday so I went to the ER upon the recommendation of the on-call OB. They checked my betas and found that I was around 40,000 which is low, but permissible for 11 weeks. They listened for the heartbeat and still didn't find anything, so they did a transvaginal ultrasound, and found a gestational sac, but no yolk sac, and of course...no baby. Apparently development stopped weeks ago, but my body is still under the impression that I am pregnant.

Today I'll go in for a better ultrasound, and then will probably have to stay for a D&C.

I guess I'm still in shock. It's really difficult to go from being pregnant physically and emotionally to NOT in the span of two hours. The only upside is that no embryo developed, so at least I don't have to grieve for an actual lost life; there never was one. It's still hard though, because in my mind, I had a 2" fetus in my womb.

I'll probably check back to update tomorrow.

[Boobs]

Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry. :guilty I really thought we were all out of the woods. Take care of yourself, okay? :hug

[shannon0218]

Oh Amy, I'm so sorry. Please check out the birth loss forum here at MDC. I know I would not have been able to cope with my losses without them. Sometimes just reading about other peoples experiences helps. If I can do anything or if you want to talk, please feel free to PM me. :hug

[AmBam]

Amy, I am so sorry!! :hug :hug

[wtchyhlr]

oh Amy.... i'm so very very sorry....

[Orange]

Hi everyone, can I join? :shy

I'm due with #2 around Feb 3rd. Natural Birth in a birth center with an OB (unless they don't make it in time like last time :D )

[Mama2Chloe]

Oh Amy, I'm so very sorry. You will be in my thoughts. :dust Take care of yourself and I wish you all the best. :hug

I'm still nursing my little girl :flyby1 My breasts seem to be the most tender when I'm really tired (especially at night) We are planning on night weaning once we move to our bigger house. That should be pretty soon. :thumb I just don't want her to go through the stress of moving and the stress of night weaning at the same time. Plus she is just this morning getting over her fever (knock on wood) My milk supply is reallly low. I"ve been keeping her sippy cup by the bed because when she is thirsty she will latch on for about 2 seconds and then ask for her cup. She does this repeatedly. She also says ,"Oh side" and then , "Oh side" repeatedly. Wears me out just changing sides a million times. :yawning:

I go to my first OB appointment on Thursday! I'm so excited!

Today I am 10 weeks and 3 days. Hope everyone has a great week. :love :wave

[shannon0218]

So glad to hear that Chloe's fever is breaking, it can be so scary.
Welcome to the troop Orange, we're pretty active but usually have lots of fun.

[mama2m&m]

:hug amy i'm so sorry. i know there aren't any words but please know you're in my thoughts. :(

[Periwinkle]

Amy :hug I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

[ekblad9]

Amy :hug I know there aren't any words to make you feel better. Just know you're in my thoughts.

[*Amy*]

Thanks for the thoughts everyone. I really do appreciate it.

I had another ultrasound this morning and confirmed that there's nothing happening down there, so I've decided to wait til Monday and if the tissue has not been expelled naturally, I will schedule a D&C. That is a little scary for me just because of the risk of damage/scar tissue in the uterus.

My midwife and OB both said that this should not in any way affect my ability to get pregnant in the future, and that I'm not at any higher risk because of this. I think I am most relieved that they've told me this but I know it will be scary for me when I do get pregnant again.

Thanks again for the hugs and thoughts.

[shannon0218]

Amy, I've had both d&c and natural miscarriage. I will admit that the d&c was far easier on me physically and the incidence of scarring in the uterus is almost nil with the newer techniques they use now. In my experience, your heart will tell you what is right for you at a specific time. Don't feel pressured into the d&c. Stay well hydrated (this is more important now than ever) and put your feet up as much as possible.

[TwinMom]

Amy, I'm so sorry! I hope that however it happens for you, it's as easy as it can be.

[Mama2Chloe]

It's so nice to have my little girl back to her healthy, happy self again. :love I feel like I'm getting some of my energy back. I have been able to stay up later and the sleepy fog is lifting. (Hope I didn't speak too soon) Looking back, I did have a little more energy around 10 weeks or so with my first PG.

I've been so thirsty lately. I need to remember to drink more fluids. The past few days with Chloe being sick I haven't been drinking as much.

Take care, ladies! It's nap time for my little one. :zzz

Tricia

[ella-makes-3]

Amy, so sorry, I'm thinking of you.

Well ladies, I had my second appointment with my midwife today, and to tell you the truth, I did not get a great vibe from her at all. She was too busy to let me ask all my questions, seemed to be annoyed at me for not being able to eat meat, fish or eggs.
She scared the living c**p out of me when she first came in and said" has anyone talked to you about your ultrasound pics?" She thought that I had had a 2nd ultrasound to look at the cyst on my ovary, but I wasn't scheduled for one.
They also neglected to schedule me for my Pre Natal Labs, which kind of worried her as I don't eat enough protein. I was unable to go in right that minute for the blood work, and she kind of made me feel like it was my fault.
She was my mw for the whole of my last pg and I never had any problems with her up until now, but I am just bummed out that she was kind of abrupt. The traniee mw who was with her seemed to be more in tune with what was going on than she was.
Anyway, I am talking to another mw on Wednesday, but the good news is that I got to hear the heart beat!!!
Hope you are all feeling well xx

[Lousli]

Oh Amy, I'm so sorry. My heart just went into my throat when I read your post. I wish I knew what to say. Just know that we are all thinking of you.

I am another one who is nursing. It hurts like heck when she latches on sometimes. I'm not going to wean, but i have noticed she is backing off. Last week she went 2 days in a row without nursing! She's never done that before.

ella-m-3, I'm sorry you didn't get a good vibe from your midwife. Hopefully the other one you are talking to will be more understanding that you are vegan. I'm sure that you know plenty about nutrition (veggies usually do, from what I've noticed) and are trying to eat proteins.

Twin mom, sorry about the continued m/s. Are you the one who asked if your boobs will keep growing? Mine are growing, but not as much as they did last time (so far). I have outgrown a cup size, but i did that at 8 weeks with my first. So maybe the nursing is slowing (or getting rid of some of) the growth.

Orange, welcome! Nice to have another Feb mom around.

M2C, I'm glad Chloe is feeliong better. I know it is hard with my milk supply decreasing, esp since my dd will only nurse from one side! She decided about 6 months ago that the right one was better, and that is all she will take now. I don't know if my supply is decreasing, but I think it is as she nurses less frequently and for shorter amounts of time now.

Shannon, I'm so glad to hear that you guys are talking. It sounds like if you guys find some ways to communicate without sparking that automatic "She told me to so I'm not gonna" feeling, things will get better. I'm sure you're both so overwhelmed right now. I can't imagine how hard this would be on my family if my pregnancy was as hard as yours is.

For me, nothing new or exciting going on. I'm so hungry all the time now (except the morning still). And I definately am showing now. Oh! I got a brand new kitchen and dining area/dinette floor today. It is laminate flooring that looks like hardwood, and it is beautiful. We had the yuckiest linoleum ever, and it looks so much better in my kitchen. I'm very excited.

[coopsmama]

Hello,

I have been an avid lurker, but haven't felt compelled to chime in until now. First, Amy, I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Take some time to grieve and heal and know we are all thinking of you.

I haven't been able to read lately because dh and ds have had a stomache bug, and I have been doing laundry relentlessly, oh and one of our toilets has been out of commission, oh and ds is potty training. Anyway, I was catching up and read all of Shannon's posts about dh trouble and felt like I needed to respond.

My dh and I were married for 5 years before we had Cooper and were together for 7.5 all together. All of your frustrations I have felt exactly at some time or another. I felt several times that we just wouldn't make it, especially before we got married, then literally the day after we married, he changed, decided we were committed. Then I thought we would never have kids because he couldn't commit to that. And then the day ds was born, he became a father, completely. And don't even talk about chores. I was working, and dh was going to school very part time and wouldn't do ANYTHING around the house. Anyway, blah blah blah.

What I want to tell you is that from my limited perspective, your dh is going through major emotional overload. He just got married, his new wife is pregnant, and very very very sick, he is worried about your health, and the health of his baby. And, if he is anything like my dh, he is very worried about being a good father. And he probably doesn't feel like he can talk to you because you are so sick and emotional. I would be willing to bet that things change when he actually sees his new baby and his new wife together. IME it is really hard for men to understand women esp. when they are pg. This doesn't do anything for your bathroom, but I just wanted to let you know that patience is a very good thing, esp. in marriage, and that things are very likely to change for the better.

These are ramblings off the top of my head and I am sorry if none of it makes sense. I have been rooting for you and the other ladies from afar. I am 11.5 weeks and finally feeling better. The best news is that nursing is getting a little less painful. I thought ds and I were going to have to throw down for a while there. Anyway, thanks for sticking through this long post. :hug :hug :hug to you all. I look forward to lurking with you through February. :lurk: :love :love

[shannon0218]

Hi everyone, Kristen, I think you are likely exactly right about his worries and fears and since communication has always been something he's lacking, it's just even worse now. He finally finished the bathroom today and did a good job, but I still think I'm going to get a cleaning lady in. Now that I feel a bit better I could keep it up, but it's gotten so bad that just the thought of where to start overwelms me.
My nausea is definitely better but I've had this terrible headache for 3 days now, it only ever goes away for a maximum of a couple hours, it's driving me nuts.
Lesley, congrats on the new floor!!! We want to tear up the carpet here and put down laminate throughout.

[AmBam]

Good morning ladies! Just thought I would say hi. Not to much happening with me. I finally switched to maturnity clothes. I think I probably look a bit rediculous right now but I just couldn't handle my jeans anymore. So if I have to look stupid for a couple of weeks then so be it. At least I am comfy!! ;)

My SIL had her baby on the 1st and her sister had her baby 2 days before her. It makes me want mine sooooo bad. I can't wait to see this little peanut and hope the next 6 months hurry by.

[Periwinkle]

Morning everyone!

YAYAY! I am officially starting my 2nd trimester!!!! :banana

Is it okay to wear maternity clothes now? :D Dh and I cleaned out our closet last night and I put away all these clothes I know I won't wear for almost a year. Time to make room for the comfy stretchies. My belly is rock hard and bulging below the belly button. :love

I've been crazy busy the last week so am going to curl up and catch up on posts!

[Mama2Chloe]

Hello all!

I just realized that I think I am the "youngest" PG wise :nut as I am due on the 25th of Feb. Is anyone else due after me?

CoopsMama - Nice to have you onboard with us! It's always nice to get another voice in the mix.

Chloe has her 18 month well baby appointment today. I'm wondering how much weight she lost recently with her being so sick.

Nothing else really going on today. 2 days and counting until I go to my first OB appointment. I'm so exited to get to see this little person for the first time. I know I will sleep better just knowing that everything is going well.

Take care! Talk to ya soon!

Tricia

[heveasoul]

Amy, I was offline all weekend, so I only just read your sad news. I am so sorry for your loss. :hug

[shannon0218]

Hey everyone, I have a question for those of you who've been there done that. My nurse was just here and when I told her I've had a headache for days that doesn't seem to be affected by pain killers she took my blood pressure and it's 143/99. I'm 12.5 weeks, I mean, this is way too early for pregnancy induced hypertension is it not?? At what blood pressure level should I start to worry?? The nurse said it is definitely high and that if it's still high tomorrow that I should contact my doctor. I was considering buying a bp cuff tonight so I can keep track of it more closely here. Should I worry???

[weesej]

Shannon--that is way too high. Yes it is early for preeclampsia but something is up. Get it checked again tommorow. BTW 140/90 is considered too high

[milk_maker]

tmi

[Lousli]

If it goes down into your thighs it probably is round ligament pains. It isn't too early for them right now. Try drinking water (cramps can also be caused by dehydration) and relaxing a little. If there is no spotting accompanying the cramps, and you aren't having a great deal of pain, you are probably just experiencing stretching/ligament pains.

I keep getting them too, and they keep freaking me out. I will think, "Oh, I'm going to start AF soon." Then catch myself and think, "No, I'm pregnant. OMG, I hope everything is okay!" pregnancy can be so worrisome sometimes, sheesh!

Shannon, I don't know much about blood pressure, but please keep us up to date. Could it be a side effect of one of your meds?

[KateSt.]

Shannon, I was thinking the same thing Lesley mentioned -- that perhaps the high bp is med-induced. I hope you get it straightened out very soon.

Shyly-- I get round ligament pain, too. I'm sure you're alright as long as there is no blood. But, I know how it is worrying about every twinge. :hug

Mama2chloe -- I may due after you. I originally thought I was due in March until my first m/w appt. I still don't know my edd (and I kinda like it that way.) I'm so glad Chloe is doing so much better.

Hi Coopsmama :wave I hope you feel compelled to delurk more often. :D

Ellamakes3 -- I hope you have good luck with the new m/w. It must be frustrating having someone you liked and trusted before act very differently now.

AmBam, I, too, am feeling anxious and eager to hold my little babe! We'll get there soon!

[Periwinkle]

Shannon it's almost certainly not preeclampsia, which is caused by a much more mature placenta producing all sorts of hormones/chemicals that impact your blood pressure. The only way to know for sure is look to see whether, in addition to consistently high bp, you are also spilling protein in your urine.

Check out http://www.preeclampsia.org/

BUT even if not preeclampsia, this bp is far too high. I would get a BP cuff to take it yourself at home. Sometimes people are just nervous in a doctor's office.

You should seek medical advice if you have a systolic (top number) over 130 ***OR*** a diastolyic (bottom number) over 85. That's because iffy systolic bp is above 130 and high systolic bp is 140 or higher. Borderline diastolic bp is over 85 and high is above 90. So a BP of 120/90 is no better than a bp of 150/75. They're both defined as high blood pressure.

:hug take care of yourself

[KateSt.]

Amy, I also wanted to say how so very sorry I am for your loss. Many women here can understand some the feelings you're having right now. I just wanted to comment on something you said about "not having to grieve the loss of an actual person." I think (if you don't mind me saying so) that you have to grieve exactly that. As you said, in your mind there was a baby growing inside you. In fact, there actually may have been. (I found out at 12 emergency u/s last fall that my baby stopped developing around 8 weeks and then proceeded to shrink at the same rate it would have grown.)
Whether or not there was a baby there -- you thought there was, your body thought there was, and you have to grieve that loss.

My SIL had a similar m/c a year and a half ago (they called it a blighted ovum) where the sac developed but there was no baby. She had the most difficult time grieving until she finally decided "I did lose my baby. I'm grieving that baby," and then she was able to start healing.

I hope you don't mind my thoughts here -- I mean them with gentle and caring intentions. I feel I didn't mourn my first m/c properly and because of this, I took a lot more time to heal.
It's okay to be pissed, sad, hysterical, and even in denial. I hope you have loving support around you. We're here for you (and the pregnancy loss board is invaluable.)

I'm thinking of you... :hug

[ella-makes-3]

Well I went to get my Pre Natal Labs done this morning, it was interesting having vials of blood drawn with a squirmy 20 month old on your lap! She was so sweet though, after it was over she kept saying boo boo and kissing my band aids! So yummy!
I also have to do a 24 hour urine catch, they gave me a huge vat to pee in and I have to store it in the fridge! Dh is at a Dead concert tonight, hope he isn't thirsty when he gets home and gets the wrong bottle :innocent

Hi to coopsmom and to orange, congratulations to you both.

[tug]

subscribing (late!)

amy - i am so sorry. please take care of yourself and know that we are thinking of you.

lesleyluu - yeah on the new floor! we had all of our wood floors refinished a couple of months ago. it's so nice not to have to worry about getting splinters as we walk through the house, esp. for baby!

shannon - dh and i were (are?) in counseling too. it helped a lot in the beginnning but dh suddenly has become resistant to the idea that he needs to look at anything or change behaviors...he's okay with the part about me needing to change :irked:

hope everyone has a good day!

[Lousli]

Hi all,
Sometimes does it seem like this trimester is dragging by so slowly? Other times it seems quick, but right now...argh. I'm 13 weeks as of yesterday, and I still have a week until I'm in my second trimester. I just want to get to the part where I can feel the baby move, and learn the gender and start calling it he or she and the name! And I'd love for my husband and daughter to be able to feel movement, but that won't be happening for 10 or 11 more weeks!

I'm ready to go buy baby clothes and diapers, ready to make my belly casting, ready to be big enough that maternity clothes look reasonable on me....

Okay, enough venting. I'm happy that I'm healthy, and the baby seems to be too, and I feel pretty good, etc. So I really have nohing to complain about. I'm just excited for the next part to happen.

[ekblad9]

Hey everyone. How are you all doing? I'm OK today. I wasn't feeling great yesterday afternoon/evening and even took an antinausea pill. I'm so sick of being sick! This morning I got up and made a turkey, bread, and an apple pie. I miss cooking/baking so much. My house is trashed but oh well. My washing machine is broken so I can't do laundry. Isn't that a shame. ;)

I hope everyone is well. We're moving along here. I know it seems slow but it really goes by fast. I find that the pregnancies I've had that go through the holidays go faster. There's so much to do in November/December and even in October. Then it will be January and we can just nest and wait for February!

Take care everyone. :hug

[shannon0218]

Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me please. My blood pressure this morning when the nurse came was 140/108. We called my doctor and she wants to see me at the hospital right away. So I'm off there now.
Everyone take care, I'll update when I get back.
Shannon

[Periwinkle]

So when I entered my 13th week on Monday, Fertility Friend Pregnancy told me I started my 2nd trimester, and saw at least one other mama in this thread talking about entering 2nd trimester after 12 completed weeks too. But I see others saying you're almost 14 weeks and still not in your 2nd trimester yet. :D

:scratch

I did a quick Google search and guess what... anywhere from 12 to 14 completed weeks is considered 1st trimester, depending on where you look. What's up with this??? Does anyone have any "official" info on how many weeks in each trimester.

I thought this would make a fun diversion for those of us sick of talking about all the bad stuff and looking forward to the good. i.e., maybe we're all closer than we think!!!

[Periwinkle]

I had some time so here's a fun sampling to start.... I am definitely seeing that the differences are true, and not just due to whether calculated from LMP or baby's actual age from conception. I'm also seeing a lot more saying the 1st trimester is 13 weeks, but still digging... :) Oh and I found something random from CDC saying it was 16 weeks but I think it was a typo. Good to know our country's finest are on the ball. :rolleyes


1st trimester = 12 completed weeks LMP

http://preg.fertilityfriend.com/preg/milestones_module.php

http://www.4woman.gov/pregnancy/first.htm


1st trimester = 13 completed weeks LMP

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/838.html;prod-bc-sessionid=0VCNGZT13MVUKCUAQI0SJ0Q

http://www.allaboutmoms.com/firsttri.htm


1st trimester = 14 completed weeks LMP

http://health.yahoo.com/health/centers/pregnancy/408.html

http://www.stronghealth.com/services/womenshealth/maternity/trimesters.cfm

[HydeParkB]

I'm doing good, but I've had it pretty easy for the last 12 weeks as far as symptoms are concerned.

This morning I told my coworkers and bosses that I'm pregnant, and that was a lot of fun. I wasn't expecting such a positive response from my supervisor, so that was great.

Tonight our water is supposed to be turned off while they fix a main near our house. So, I'm off the hook for cooking, laundry, and cleaning tonight.

[ekblad9]

Shannon :hug

[*Amy*]

Hi guys. I miss y'all!

First I want to thank everyone so much for your thoughts and support, especially KateSt., Shannon, and Jen W.

Kate, I did not feel at all offended by your thoughts about the grief issue. I think it was very good advice. I was just telling my best friend today that I feel like I should be sadder or more devastated than I am; I feel abnormal. I honestly don't know if it's just shock or denial or what, but I am really trying to give myself permission to feel whatever I need to feel at whatever time it surfaces. And I think that my saying that it wasn't really a "baby" is definitely a coping mechanism, but I'd still like to believe it. Oh, and it was a blighted ovum for me as well.

Well the good news from here is that the physical process has begun on its own which means that I should not have to have a D&C. Shannon I understand what you mean about this way being traumatic, but as I was expecting it to happen, I don't think it was as shocking to me as it may have been for you. I told Jason that I was so grateful that I knew that it would probably happen, otherwise I would have been coming into this week thinking everything was fine only to wake up with bright red blood. I think that would have put me over the edge.

It's been amazing how many friends have shown their support and shared their stories with us. I had no idea so many women have gone through this. It's amazing.

Gosh I am going to miss the Feb mama board but I may pop in from time to time to say hi. Shannon, my thoughts are with you. Hang in there. Ekblad, feel better soon. Everyone else: congrats on making it to the second trimester!

:rocks

[ekblad9]

Amy - So good to hear from you. :hug You sound like you're doing OK. Take it easy on yourself during this transitional time. M/c is so hard on your body even if you don't feel it at the time. I was surprised how much it took out of me. :hug again.

[lasofia]

Let me echo ekblad- mc can be more phyically taxing than you expect. I miscarried at 11 weeks, and was shocked at how achy and sore and tired I was (no doubt amplified by the intense depression). My midwife caught my attention by saying, "this is a BIG DEAL. stay down for a while. rest."

Take care of yourself, Amy.

[ekblad9]

I just think m/c is especially hard b/c it's not like you're sick enough to be in bed for weeks but you should be in bed for a while, at least. Plus, you want to not think about it so being out is good in that respect. And maybe you feel silly (for lack of a better word) being sad and depressed so you try to remain upbeat. It can all backfire, it did for me. Hang in there sweetie. :hug

[shannon0218]

Well, I'm back, when I got to the hospital my bp was fine, they monitored it every 15 minutes and it was fine all along, the only time it went up was when my doc was looking for the heartbeat with the doppler from emerg--she couldn't find it and kept telling me that it was a crappy doppler, but I didn't really believe her, so she took me over to L&D and did a quick U/S and we found him then, squirming with a beating heart.
I have to go in everyday and have bp checked and she'll keep an eye on things and refer me to a specialist if need be.

[ekblad9]

So glad you're back and things are OK, Shannon! I've been worried about you.

I've had the worst sinus/allergy headaches for the last few days. They've been making me sick to my stomach and dizzy. I finally relented today and took a sudafed. Just one. I feel so guilty but I had to get through this day without puking.

[ella-makes-3]

Shannon, glad that things are ok, and you got to see your baby on the u/s. That must have been so reassuring.
Ekblad, lucky you with no washing machine, but it sounds as if you are busy with all the cooking, I'm coming over for some of that apple pie!!

I just spoke to another midwife with another practice who is a family friend. She validated my feelings towards my appt on Monday, I thought that maybe I was over reacting, you know pg hormones and all! So I am setting up an appt with her soon for a chat. Feeling alot more positive about everything now.

I am having a hard time sleeping at night.I fall asleep ok, as I am dead tired, but I nearly always wake up at 2am or there about and take ages to get back to sleep again. Maybe it's my body getting used to the fisrt couple of months with the new baby??
Hmm, I'd rather it didn't do that!!

I made some zucchini bread from the receipe posted, it is delicious. i used whole wheat flour and some molasses, and it turned out really great. Thanks!
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow xxx Jasmine

[Lousli]

Shannon, glad you're okay! Keep us posted.

Okay, here is my new scariness for today. The results from my nuchal came back and even thought the ultrasound part looked good, I guess the blood test was not so good, because overall my risk for Down's is 1/72. Which is higher than average. So now we need to decide if we're having an amnio or CVS. We think we are going to do it, because I don't think I can go for the next 30 weeks without knowing. Too scary for me, as I hate the unknown. But, of course, I'm scared of the risk of m/c. Plus the results take 2 weeks to come back, so you know those 2 weeks are going to be completely awful.

I know many of you feel strongly about prenatal testing, and not doing it. But right now, I just need a little support okay?

[milk_maker]

tmi

[shannon0218]

Oh Lesley, I'm so sorry, it's sooooo stressful. Steve really wanted to do the testing but my fear of miscarriage was so strong that I knew I wouldn't be able to go through with an amnio-that and my doctor said women that are at high risk for miscarriage really shouldn't have amnio done as their risks are technically higher than the average. All you can do is make sure that whoever does it has an excellent and very low problem percentage. the 1 in 200 is the average, that means that some loose more than that and some loose much less. :hug :hug :hug
Take care, breath deep.

[Periwinkle]

Oh Lesley that's awful. :hug Do you know anything about each test, i.e., for NT, if the measurement is good, what is the probability of Down's (and all the others... Trisomy 18, heart abnormalities...) vs. for blood test, if the measurement is bad, what is the probability of Down's?

I have just read that NT is pretty good at picking it up if done around 12 weeks give or take, which I think is when it was done. And I remember your number was way low.... well under the what 20 or 25 they accept as the max. So it seems like the chances are really, really, low. I'd be interested to know, of women who test negative for NT test, how many actually have a Down's baby. I bet it is infintessimally small.

I totally support your decision either way, but I just think maybe you could find out more about actual risks taking the combined results (since even the 1:72 stated by the blood test would logically be MUCH lower risk given negative NT test, kwim?). Plus, 1 in 72 is pretty low. Actually 1 in 200 sounds low too. Do you have other risk factors (family history, AMA...)

Just trying to offer an alternative to having to go with just the blood test results, since that doesn't make sense given you had a whole other test in there to consider results. I thought a NT < 15 was a practical guarantee of no Down's. It's the 15-25 (or so, again I can't remember exact #s) that causes the higher failure rate.

HTH.

Again, big :hug and sorry you're going through this.

[Lousli]

Hi Periwkinle and others,
From my understanding, the 1/72 is the averaged risk of the NT and the blood work. So the blood work must have been pretty bad. But I'm not sure, maybe it is blood work alone, since you are right, my NT looked great. I don't have other risk factors, and this is of course, a big shock.

I slept really badly last night, and to be honest, I'm kind of freaked out. We have decided to do the amnio, because I need to know. I can't go 27 weeks not knowing. Plus we would have to decide what to do based on the results, which we haven't thought about too much before. So, we have a lot of talking to do.

I will probably get in for the amnio Friday, Monday, or Tuesday, if I can, and if not, I will have to wait a little more than a week because dh is going out of town. My parents are also out of town, and my sister is going somewhere too. So there is no one to drive me there and watch my dd. Plus you aren't supposed to do heavy lifting for a day or two afterwards (30 pound toddler...). I'd like to have it done as quickly as possible, because the results take 2 weeks. The next few weeks are going to be really, really hard.

[shannon0218]

Sorry you didn't sleep Lesley. :hug One thing you may want to consider is what you will do if the results are bad before the amnio. If you decide to carry through with the pregnancy regardless of the results, it would be an awful shame to then loose the baby via the amnio. Can the tests tell you how severe the downs may be?? I'm thinking about you.
Shannon

[tug]

hi guys, i've been thinking a lot about prenatal testing too recently. i don't believe the results of either an amnio or cvs (chorionic villi sampling) can tell you how severe the downs will be. they only tell you there is the extra chromosone. i don't think either test tells you about possible neurological things either, right? like smooth brain (lisencephaly) or other stuff like that. so, essentially, you learn that your child does or does not have one or two possible genetic defects whose impact may be mild (like the actor who had downs) or very severe with numerous complications (like, with some kids with downs, there may be various severe heart defects). i had the cvs done, but am now really wondering why because i wouldn't terminate even if the answer is yes to the downs for exactly the reasons listed above. anyway, just my two cents.

[woolfairy]

Oh Amy, I am so sorry! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you!

I'm back from our family wedding. :yawning: I'm exhausted from the plane rides and sleeping on mega-uncomfortable beds. Now that we're back in town, I have to find a new apartment to move to by the end of the month (Our lease is up and we cannot do a 1BR apartment for another year) In addition I need to have my 1st meeting with the prospective homebirth midwife. There is just so much to get done, especially with all the packing.

Good news is that, barring some really unfortunate thing that happens that requires my presence, there will be no more plane rides until well after the baby is born.

Elle

[Mama2Chloe]

Hi Lesley! I am in total support of the decisions that you make. Your heart will always make the right decision for you. Take care of yourself. Think possitive thoughts! :dust

I couldn't sleep last night for different reasons. I was just so anxious/excited to go to my first OB appointment today. We leave soon, but I'll let you know how it goes.

Take care! Talk to you all later. :love

[letabug]

Lesley- sorry you have to deal with this. I opted not to have genetic counseling with this baby b/c I wouldn't terminate. My sister died when she was just a few days old b/c of Trisomy 18 or 21 whichever one isn't down syndrome, she also had heart defects and some other problems and some we'll never even know about. It was torture with ds and waiting for the results and such. So this time I am doing things different. My mom had a bunch of tests when she was pregnant with me b/c of my sister and they came back that there was a 50% chance I would have all or some of the same problems as my sister and they encouraged her to abort me so she wouldn't have to deal with a loss again, well she decided that a natural loss would be better for her than choosing to terminate me on a 50% chance I would die. Well I am fine, no chromosel abnormalitites and no weird ressive genes. Do whatever you need to do to make you enjoy this pregnacy, and good luck!!!!!


I had my 2nd doc's apt this morning I am measuring big and we heard a heartbeat, it was 150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited!!! Dh and Ds were there, ds had no idea what was going on but Dh actually is going to get to be here most or all of the pregnacy. He was really excited to hear the heartbeat b/c he's never heard one before!!! :thumb

[AmBam]

Hello everyone! Just thought I would say hi! My pregnancy hormones are raging!! I am sooooo grouchy!!! :angry :irked: It is so wierd. Everything annoys me and I am irritated at everything. My ex is in town and my ds is with him. He just called to inform me of what the plan is the next couple of days. Normally I would be fine and able to comprimise but it just pissed me off today. He didn't even ask... he just told me what he was doing. Anyway...it's sooo not a big deal I'm sure. I just feel irritated with everyone. Maybe I need to go back to bed. My house is a disaster and it is driving me crazy. We aren't even close to being unpacked and settled in and dh is gone for 3 days. :irked:

Anyway, enough of my complaining.

Hope everyone else is happy and healthy! :D

[ella-makes-3]

Dear Lesley, my thoughts are totally with you. I know excatly what it is like to get that phone call to say that the results are high etc....
It happened to us with dd, and my first thoughts were amnio definately.
We went for the genetic conseling, and they told us about the Level 2 ultrasound as well as the amnio.
We decided on the ultrasound, and they did that right there and we saw the results and the baby and she looked fine to them. They measured bones, looked at the brain, organs etc. and couldn't find anything at all wrong with her.
She is a perfectly healthy 20 month old now.

Dh and I just talked about the testing again, he really wanted to do it, so I agreed. Then thought about it over night and talked about it the next day again with him.
We changed our decision and are not going with any tests at all.
I do wonder whether we should or not, as the technology is there and avaliable to us, but really what is stopping me is what I would do with the findings of the tests?
Maybe it would just help us to prepare for the new baby, I don't know.
What ever you chose it will be the right decision for your family, so you have my support.

Sorry about the extra long post, just felt that I had to let you know about our experience.

Thinking of you xxx Jasmine

Also another point that may be valid is when I initially had the blood work done I was right on the cut off point that they allow. Another day or so I would have been too late.
Maybe my due date was off a couple of weeks, which could have altered my results?

[Lousli]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate the support. As far as the blood test, we know exactly when we conceived since we were charting, so there is no more than a 2-3 day window of differing dates. I know it is not multiples from the ultrasound. So the risk seems to be an accurate assessment.

We have decided to have the ultrasound. Honestly, we don't know what we will do with the results. We have a lot to think about. They cannot tell you the severity of the Down's, just yes or no. I am very concerned about the effect that it would have on my family, especially my daughter. I don't want to be overly dramatic, but I do think that being the older sibling to a special needs child would be a very heavy responsibility. Of course, it would be for myself and my husband as well. We are very torn up about what we would do if the result were positive. Right now, we are going to hope that it will turn out negative, and we do not have to make that decision. We're having the test done on the 17th, and they will aslo do a level 2 at that time.

The problem for me with a level 2 only is that it still only catches about 60% of Down's. That is a pretty large margin of error. Also, it is usually done at 20 weeks, and if we do make the heartwrenching decision to terminate, 20 weeks or beyond is going to be very tough emotionally and physically. I can't believe I am even typing that, but there it is.

[coopsmama]

Hey everyone,

I didn't mean to disappear, but I was blessed to get the stomach virus that dh and ds had. I was perfectly miserable for two days. Anyway, offically 12 weeks today and I consider myself merging into the second trimester. About heartbeats, we heard the hb at the last midwife appt, and it was in the 180s, is that high?

Shannon- Sounds like you need a heavy case of RELAXATION. Make a vow to not get stressed -- I know easier said than done.

Lesley -- I am thinking of you, I know that this is an agonizing time, and any decision is going to be hard. :hug

Everyone else, I don't recommend stomach viruses at all. Stay away from everyone who seems to be icky.

[jorie]

subscribing--ds woke just as I as finished reading arg. I think we all need a big :grouphug

[shannon0218]

Lesley, I talked briefly to my doc today and she said the spotting you had early in this pregnancy automatically bumps you into the higher risk as far as the blood tests go and that if your NT was good, the chances are pretty darn good that the baby is just fine. Don't know if that helps or not, but it sounded like good news to me. For instance, she said that because I have RA and had bleeding/spotting early in the pregnancy, my results would be pretty much guarenteed to come back very high, basically all these factors are plugged in but there is no regard for individual situations--does that make sense?? It made perfect sense to me the way she explained it but I don't feel like I'm regurgitating it well!
Had another U/S done today, baby continues to measure exactly what he should and very active. The tech said she was surprised I couldn't feel the little one yet, said he was kinda big. (which is good, we're happy with big, small we have to worry about clots)

[KateSt.]

Great News, Shannon!!!! :thumb

Lesley, :hug :hug :hug :hug No words of wisdom here, but I feel you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable. And I'm absolutely sure your baby is happy and healthy and feels your love.

[ekblad9]

Lesley - You'll be in my prayers.

Still feeling sickly in the evenings but soy nuts are working wonders. Slowly getting life back on track.

I am feeling the baby move every once in a while. It's so exciting but very fleeting. Can't wait to be able to grab feet and elbows but that's a long way off.

I'm glad your u/s was good, Shannon.

:hug

[Lousli]

Shannon,
I don't understand about the spotting thing. Does she mean that if you've had spotting they will consider you higher risk for Down's, or that it will somehow alter your blood test? The doc who did the Nuchal didn't know about my spotting, so I don't think he figured that into the equation. I thought my spotting was just implantation, as it was 13 DPO, but you could be right. I didn't have spotting with my daughter, and all my test results came back okay with her.

I have back to school night tonight, which I am NOT looking forward to in my tired and fragile emotional state. On the plus side, I am comforting myself with pizza for dinner tonight. Not the most healthy thing in the world, but darn it, I need a little comforting!

[Mama2Chloe]

I went to my first OB appointment today! We got our first look at the little angel. Chloe saw the ultrasound and said, "Nemo"! U/S measured 10 weeks and 4 days, LMP was 10 weeks 6 days, so my edd is 27 Feb 05 now. It was so nice to see the little heart beating and see his/her head, arms, body, and legs. I forgot to ask what the heartrate was :duh We are moving to a bigger house and get the keys tomorrow. We hope to be completely finished with moving stuff this weekend. It's happening so fast! I may not have a lot of time to chat for a few days or so. Take care! :love

[Lousli]

Great news Mama2Chloe! Too funny that your daughter said "Nemo!"

Well, I got one piece of good news in all this mess. I found out that when they do the amnio, they can do something called a FISH test, where they send some of the amniotic fluid to a different lab. It looks for markers for the three big ones, trisomy 18, 18, and 21 (which is Down's). It is a little less accurate than the full amnio (which they will do as well, to confirm) but results come back in 3-5 days!

[shannon0218]

Hey Lesley, yes, any spotting or bleeding during the pregnancy bumps you into a higher risk factor when the do the testing.

[heveasoul]

Hi all!

Not around here much these days...very busy at work, and the computer is the last place I want to be when I get home...plus houseguests all last weekend, etc...:nut

Lesley - hope you're feeling better about all this. Whatever you decide, you have my support. These are all very personal issues, and no one can judge you - it has nothing to do with anyone/anything else. :hug

I met my mw yesterday, and I like her a lot. :love dh was with me, and we, too, discussed the prenatal screening and diagnostic decisions...much to think about this weekend. My feeling, and his (thankfully!) is to not do any of it, and hope for the best. But there is still much to discuss and digest, so we'll see. I'll have to decide soon, though, because I am 11 weeks today.

Hope everyone is feeling good and starting to enjoy foods and smells a bit more...!

[tug]

since we're all talking about testing...we just got the results of our cvs test. no chromosonal or genetic abnormalities and it's gonna be a girl. it's nice to know BUT we waited ten days (we were told 7) so the last three days have been an agony. plus, we had decided to carry even if there were, so i don't know if it was worth it...but it is nice to know. this, of course, is why we choose to do it.

good luck deciding everybody.

[heveasoul]

tug - wonderful news! Hooray that the agonizing wait is over!! :hug cvs is what I have been offered. Since I am over 35 (36), I can bypass the blood test screening and go directly to the hospital where they do that. We are taking this weekend to decide. At this point, it doesn't look like I will have it done...

[shannon0218]

Morning all. So good news and bad news. The good news is that my bp was completely normal today. The bad news.... Last night the picc line blew up on me, so off to emerg for a new IV, which worked fine last night and this morning but is now blown :( I'm feeling better but not quite better enough to go without anything fluid or gravol wise--really I'm just terrified of that downhill slide-kwim? So my doc is trying to find out what the chances are of having another picc line placed today (slim to nil) and otherwise, I'll end up back in for another IV (which sucks).
Tug good to hear all is well!! Heve, good luck in your decision. Lesley, what does your mom say about all this with the testing and stuff??

[ekblad9]

Hey ladies, how are you all? I'm doing OK. Waves of nausea. I hope it ends soon. My 20 month old is very demanding lately. Lots of temper tantrums and it's wearing me down. :(

Shannon - I hope all goes well for you today. What a huge pain in the neck!

Tug - glad to hear all is OK with your tests.

I finally got my hair cut this morning and even got my eyebrows waxed! I feel like a new woman! Glad to be somewhat neat and tidy looking again. Now if I could just get to shaving my legs and painting my toe nails dh might like me again. ;)

[heveasoul]

Oh Shannon - man - you deserve some kind of medal after all this (besides the beautiful bundle at the end, of course!!)!! ((((hugs)))

:thumb on the dolling up, ekblad! Must feel good! :kiss

[Lousli]

Shannon, I'm so sorry that things are so rough for you right now. I agree with the medal!

About my mom, first of all, she suggested and paid for the nuchal. Then, because she seems to do this a lot, went on vacation! She was onvacation with my dad when my grandmother died. They were on vacation when my dd was born 4 weeks early. And now she is on vacation again and will be still when i have the amnio. Umm...thanks mom. I have already planned to tell her that if insurance doesn't cover it, she gets to pay for it!

[Mama2Chloe]

Lesley- Really cool to hear about the FISH test results coming back so soon. I know that you will rest a little more easily while waiting for the other results to come in.

Tug- Awesome news about your test. It's so cool that you were able to find out that you will be having a little girl! I'll be fining out the beginning of October around my 20 week mark through U/S. I can't wait to find out so I can plan. We will be excited both ways, but look forward to calling this one by name. :love

Shannon- Sorry you have to go through so much. (((Hugs))) Try to rest and take care of yourself.

As for me, we found out this morning that we will be moving into another house -different from the one we thought yesterday. (one that is right across the street from a great friend of mine) We live on a military base and this one will be ready to move in in 7 - 10 days so it give us time to pack and stuff.

Gotta go, pizza is here. Talk to you all later! :love

[TexasSuz]

Hi everyone. Still struggling everyday here. If it doesn't get better soon I am going to loose my mind! Shannon, have you been to the hyperemesis website? http://www.helpher.org/

It has really helped me to know that I am not the only one who goes through this during pregnancy. I just wish doctors understood it more and knew how to treat us more effectively. It is so frustrating.

On the subject of testing. Anyone else not doing any tests. We did not do any last time and don't plan on doing any this time (just the sonogram). The results would just cause me to worry and I am committed to this child no matter what. Just wondering if anyone else turned down the tests.

[Lousli]

Hi there,
I have been reading a lot these past few days, both here and on other boards. I keep seeing people saying that they don't want to have testing done, or don't want to go further with testing, because they wouldn't terminate. In no way do I want to be cruel or flame anyone (so Suz, I'm sorry this is coming on the tail end of your post). I'm just wondering, do people really mean that?

I mean, having read about trisomy 13, 18, and 21 (which is Down syndrome) I'm realizing that many babies with the more severe trisomies (13 and 18) don't survive infancy, and have many weeks or months of severe suffering, such as blindness, tube feeding, inability to sit, crawl or walk, etc. Down syndome can vary in its severity, and while many people think that it means that a child will be mildly mentally retarded, it also has the possibility of being extremely severe. So, if you knew that you were facing one of these conditions, would you choose not to terminate?

I guess I just think about it in a similar way to a post I read elsewhere, in which a mom who had terminated a pregnancy said that if their child was in an accident, and was on life support and was suffering, and would not ever get better, they would stop the life support. She viewed termination as much the same thing.

My husband and I have been talking about it a lot since Thursday. We have been thinking about what it would mean to have a child with Down syndrome. That we could easily be facing the next 50 years of caring for a child in our home. That when we are financially or physically incapable of doing so, the care would fall on our older daughter. That our daughter's personality and future might forever be altered because of the added responsibility of being the sibling of a special needs child. That the financial, physical, and emotional toll on our marriage and family would be huge.

I may get flamed for this, but at this point, we are very strongly considering termination if we get a positive amnio result. I hope that doesn't offend anyone here, although I know I can't help but run the risk of offending someone. I honestly hope it is a choice we will not be faced with. Every time I read that someone wouldn't terminate "no matter what" I just wonder.

I'm sorry to be so long-winded, but I needed to get that off my chest.

[weesej]

No I would not terminate even if baby had Trisomy 13 or 18. In the last 2 weeks alone 2 moms in our practice have had babies with severe birth defects. The first had a Triple screen and Amnio that confirmed baby had Trisomy 13 and was well aware baby would not survive. She decided to continue her pregnancy to have all the time she could with her baby and birth him at home peacefully and prayed he would be born alive so they would have time together. Her prayers were answered and she had a gentle birth at 35 weeks and her baby boy live 2 hours, she held him skin to skin and even put him to breast. Her other children were able to meet him.

Just last Saturday we had a mom birth at 44 weeks with a known anencephalic baby. I was at her US at 40 weeks since her midwife couldn't find a head. Nor could we on the US. She had her baby girl at home and she lived 24 hours.

I also worked with a mom a year ago whos previous baby had been a highly suspected Trisomy 18 but she refused amnio to confirm. When baby began to go downhill at 32 weeks she had a Cesarean so she would meet her baby alive and spent 3 hours with her daughter.

I am awed by the strength of these women and feel privliged to know them. Our babies have been given to us for a reason and I beleive we should take them as they come and acknowledge the blessing that they are, even if that blessing comes with pain and hardship.

[AmBam]

I am one who chooses to do NO prenatal testing. I ended up with one ultrasound with my last pregnancy per my mw request to rule out twins. I won't be doing anything with this pregnancy.

This is my opinion on the whole termination thing. I don't want to offend anyone. This is just my view. I would NOT under any circumstance terminate a pregnancy. I believe that babies are gifts from God sent specifically to the parents they were meant to be with. I personally could never do it even if I knew my baby would have severe birth defects, downs, ect. I don't feel that it is MY place to terminate a pregnancy. I would be taking a life. I think that God knows what he is doing and that if I were to have a child with defects that that was the plan He had in store for me. I think that everything happens for a reason. Even if it puts a strain on me or makes my life more difficult. Those things help me become who I am. I am not saying that it wouldn't be very very difficult especially knowing most of the pregnancy that my child would have defects. But I personly would deal with it and prepare myself the best I could and love my baby no matter what. No matter how long it lived, no matter what problems it may have.

This is just MY feeling on the subject. Lesley, I hope things work out for you and you aren't faced with that decision. This must be a very difficult time for you.

[shannon0218]

Lesley, I've thought alot about it too (and in no way am I offended) I guess what bothers me is that you can't know how severe it will be before termination. Yes, if I knew for sure that the baby would suffer/not live beyond infancy/never be aware of his surroundings I would terminate, but I couldn't do it if I didn't know that. I went to school with a girl who's younger brother had downs-fairly bad and this girl cherished her baby brother in a way I've NEVER felt about my own brother. She was an outstanding individual and still is. She is a physician now specializing in special needs children. I was in awe of her ability to be a responsible adult one minute and then the next just get on the floor and be a silly kid. Her little brother holds a full time job that he's had for 7 yrs at our local Loblaws, is it a wonderful job, no, he brings in carts, but he's good at it, he's proud of what he does, he lives in an apartment with 2 other guys with downs. I'll tell you, I've often seen him drop what he's doing with his carts--sometimes at a very inconvenient place because he saw an elderly person or a pregnant lady trying to put her own groceries into her car, he will run over and help. He's not the smartest fellow, but he's got a heart of gold and our entire town (at least until it grew big time a year ago) knows his name and talks to him. When he was born, they were told he would not live past 2 yrs. I guess I just think that the world would not be such a nice place without him, I know I can see him when I'm in a bad mood and be smiling for hours and do something nice for someone else just cause I saw Eric and he flashed me a big smile and wanted to come see the dogs. For me, I can't think of downs without thinking of him. I think another big thing for me with not being able to terminate is that I have lost so many, after all that, to loose one on purpose I just don't think I could do it.
I guess for me the other part is that just cause these tests come back normal is no guarentee of a healthy baby. There are other risks that can't be tested for. My old doctor stopped practicing when her baby was born without a brain stem, he lived 4 hours. She had had amnio, numerous U/S's, you name it, she was told her baby was perfect, so I guess there are just no guarentees.
One other thing, this is something that nobody who hasn't experienced losses would think about. Over on the loss board, we have women who've had miscarriages and some who've had still births. After my third miscarriage, I found myself jealous of the women who had still births or babies who died shortly after birth--reason, they got to meet their babies and I never did. They got to put a face to their grief, they got to hold them, touch them and take pictures of them. I would give anything to have held even one of them for just a minute (and no, I don't expect anyone that has'nt been htere done that to understand that train of thought!)
So, those are my reasons, for whatever they are worth. I can definitely see both sides of the coin though and totally feel for you. And I know that Steve would be thinking more like you--which is why for me I didn't want to open that can worms that would make me make decisions I couldn't make.

[Lousli]

Shannon,
I also understand your point of view, and that the amnio is no gaurantee of a healthy baby, it is just reassurance. I also wanted to address the part about termination and being able to hold your baby. Well, the great likelyhood is that if I did opt to terminate, I would be 17 weeks or more, and that would mean labor and delivery of the baby. While it hurts to even think about, I would be able to hold the baby and see it, and name it.

I don't think I have the strength of character to watch my infant get sicker and sicker over the course of weeks or months, and finally pass away. That it was it keeps coming back to for me. Down syndrome is more of a gray area, because it it not usually life-threatening. But if we get a positive trisomy 13 or 18 test, I don't think I would be able to handle it.

I don't know what else to say. I have so many thoughts racing through my brain these days. I'm sure I will not be able to make this decision for sure until I am truly faced with it, but I feel that I should at least be thinking about it right now, trying to see what "feels" right.

I'm overwhelmed, actually. I'm trying not to overreact, but I'm dreaming about it at night, and keep coming back to it during the day. It's very hard.

[shannon0218]

I can't imagine how hard it is Lesley, probably, one of the biggest reasons for me (personally) not to test is that what you are going through right now I think would be harder on me than anything else. I remember reading something ages ago that a 3-D ultrasound is almost as reliable as the amnio for finding things (obviously doesn't test the DNA but as far as a visual of the baby) Is that an option that may be easier to deal with?? The biggest advantage being that you would know immediately. Only thing is, Ihave no idea when that would be done to be reliable.
I certainly don't envy you, it must just be twisting you stomach in knots.

[ella-makes-3]

Wow, I have just read all of the previous posts, and there are so many differing points of view and they are all really interesting to read. I am so thankful for these boards to be able to get differing opinions, but in a respectful way.

Lesley, I am thinking of you and your husband right now. It is such an overwhelming decision to have to make, either for or against, and whatever your decision it will be right for you and your family. I think I already said that in a previous post, but you know these babies just take away all of your brain cells! That's my excuse anyway.

Shannon ,I totally get your train of thought about wishing that you could at least have got to see, touch, or name your baby. That was part of the discussion that I had with dh about the testing, that if the baby was sick and lived just a couple of hours, or was still born, then at least we would be able to meet him/her.

[heveasoul]

Some very smart and valid points made. (((hugs))) to all having to make or face tough decisions. I got quite teary reading the thread today...

Not much further here on my decision-making...digesting it all still...

On a more fun note, I was out and about today and stopped in at a maternity consignment store. Bought a "my breast friend" and some locally-made yummy belly balm. Considered a lambskin, and a moses basket...may go back for them. None of the maternity clothes grabbed me...and it still feels too soon to be buying maternity stuff...not being logical-girl here...I know, I did buy a skirt and T weeks ago... :innocent

Oh! and I bought some gorgeous baby merino wool for my mom, who crochets. I know she'll be starting a baby blanket soon, and wanted to intercept any acrylic-yarn beginnings...

[kater07]

Wow, having read the WHOLE board over the last hour, I PMed several of you.

Some points...

The Dr. Sears Book... The Pregnancy Book says that when you say "I'm 13 weeks" you've hit the 3rd Trimester.

I have been taking the occasional Advil Migraine for my headaches that are fewer and farther between these days. I am 13w 4d (ish). The Darvocet wasn't helping and I asked the Pharmacist why I couldn't just take Advil and she said that it's a class B drug in the 1st 2 trimesters and a class C in the 3rd due to it's blood thinning effects. I haven't taken many, but when I just can't move or see, it's worth it to me to just take one.

The Anti-Nausea medication works wonders. I am only taking one a day now instead of one every 6 hours. I am a bit less tired since starting to take the Nettle Capsules. For those of you still battling the nausea and puking all day... you might call and ask for something. I hate taking meds, but this was worth it.

I sent a request for information regarding my 2nd appointment with the MW. She mentioned a bunch of paperwork and blood tests that will be done at the next appt., but I need a heads up on what that entails since there are things I won't be having done.

I know that there were some other things I wanted to say today, but I just can't remember them all. Maybe I will post again later when I get my brain all put back together.

I am sorry that some of you are still going through some rough times. I hope that everyone gets stuff figured out and back on track. It's really time to be enjoying what our bodies are creating.

Love you all! And Welcome to the delurkers and the newbies!

Katie

[Christi]

Hi everyone
I've been away from the computer for a while. I haven't read all of the posts. Man this is a busy thread. On Tuesday we heard the heartbeat :heartbeat . I was so relieved. It was nice and strong. My son is pulling me away so I will finish later.

[shannon0218]

I just had to share with you, that for the first time in months now, I made French Toast and sausages for dh and I for an extremely late breakfast--ok, 2 in the afternoon. Anyway, I actually enjoyed eating it!!!!!!! I felt queasy when I was done, but I enjoyed the meal while it lasted--can you believe it??
It's amazing, I hadn't noticed that I hadn't enjoyed anything in so long, it wasn't until I was sitting there thinking, Oh my, this is so good that I realized I hadn't enjoyed a meal in ages.
So that is my good news of the day.... Anyone else???

[lasofia]

it wasn't until I was sitting there thinking, Oh my, this is so good that I realized I hadn't enjoyed a meal in ages.
So that is my good news of the day.... Anyone else???

YAY!!

I'm very happy for you Shannon! It gets so old to have an adversarial relationship with food. Such a delight to ENJOY it again. I'm sorry it felt yucky after, but thinking it's good while you eat it is a step in the right direction.

My barf-o-rama slowed down last week, pretty abruptly (I'm 14 1/2 weeks). I just barf first thing on waking now, and am queasy maybe an hour or two of the day. Mostly. This is much better than it was with my first pregnancy, so it's a happy surprise!

[kater07]

Lasofia,

Have you tried keeping peanut butter by your bed and eating some of that as you lay down to sleep, then just a spoon before getting up? It really helped me last time when most of the nausea was gone, but that first morning bout still hit me really hard.

Hope it all disipates soon!

Shannon, I am soooo happy to hear that you enjoyed eating. Sorry you felt sickly after. Maybe that will stop soon too.

Hugs all!

[heveasoul]

I just had to share with you, that for the first time in months now, I made French Toast and sausages for dh and I for an extremely late breakfast--ok, 2 in the afternoon. Anyway, I actually enjoyed eating it!!!!!!! I felt queasy when I was done, but I enjoyed the meal while it lasted--can you believe it??
It's amazing, I hadn't noticed that I hadn't enjoyed anything in so long, it wasn't until I was sitting there thinking, Oh my, this is so good that I realized I hadn't enjoyed a meal in ages.
So that is my good news of the day.... Anyone else???
Oh Shannon - I'm so happy to hear that! I hope the meal stayed down ok. How did today's breakfast go?

Lasofia and others still feeling wretched - sending you happy food vibes ~~~!!

Yay Christi on hearing the hb!!

[milk_maker]

I feel so bad. I made a pot roast today for dinner. The roast itself isn't done, but the veggies were so somehow in my mind I rationalized that it's okay to eat the veggies because I can cook more when it gets closer to dinner time. I ate six carrots, some celery, and about 8 potatoes :blush. I just went and looked in the fridge and there aren't any carrots left because I finished off the bag (raw) after I started the roast. DH will be home soon from shooting at the range and he's going to want dinner...and there aren't going to be any veggies for him. He specifically asked me to be sure and put carrots in it because he really likes them...and there aren't any. I don't know whether I should laugh or just laugh harder...lol. I hope I can catch him on the cell before he gets home and have him pick some up on his way back. I guess I can't complain though...my appetite's picked up :innocent

[ekblad9]

I ate like a half of a turkey that I cooked in the slow cooker last week before it was even dinner time. :LOL There wasn't much left for everyone else but it was SO good! :D

[Lousli]

I sympathize, ekblad. I had a weird craving today and spent about 30 minutes researching beef jerky recipes online!

[lasofia]

Lasofia,

Have you tried keeping peanut butter by your bed and eating some of that as you lay down to sleep, then just a spoon before getting up? It really helped me last time when most of the nausea was gone,


That's good advice. I know a lot of my morning yacking is because I'm so hungry, but I've been afraid to midnight snack, since I know from last time that if I start eating too soon (too soon before the m/s calms down) that it'll just mean that I throw up food and not just water. But it's probably time.

And protein is key - crackers never work for me at all. Thanks!

[wtchyhlr]

Hey Ladies

Just got back from Chicago - had a nice vacation.

Hugs all around to those w/hard decisions - Lesley, I'm thinking of you....

Shannon - hooray on eating. What an amazing thing for you :)

We have a midwife appt in a couple of hrs, quite excited about it.....

[shannon0218]

Hi everyone. Had a new picc line put in this morning, it's in a slightly better place in that it's not in the bend of my elbow, but it's in my right arm, so the throbbing pain that lasts a couple days is kinda frustrating. Yesterday was a bad day for being sickly. I was really thinking of not getting a new picc line, but when I talked to my doctor yesterday her concern was that being this far in, the amniotic fluid is replenishing so often that even a half day without being able to keep fluids down would be bad for baby, so I broke down and got another.
On my way home from the hospital though I very narrowly missed being part of a really bad car accident. I ended up spinning out Steve's car and being sideways across 2 lanes to avoid the jackknifing tractor trailer that was still spinning and the car it ran over. I'm just lucky nobody slid into me. The woman in the car in front of me that got run right over by the transport was alright, real shaken up, but she was getting out of her car by the time I managed to get to her car. Very lucky day.
Joy, good luck at the midwife appt!! Will you be listening for a heartbeat??

[Mama2Chloe]

Shannon- I'm so glad you are alright! It's times like those that really give your heart a jump start!

Is someone going to start another thread?

Take care everyone! Talk to you soon! :love