Still Pregnant...Just Venting

[welldone]

9 weeks 2 days...and, as far as I know, there's still a little tyke in my belly. I have spotting on and off for weeks now (starting around 6 weeks, maybe?); it's never heavy. Sometimes I can identify a cause (sex), other times it seems random. The midwife checked me (pelvic exam and pap) at 8 weeks. After I mentioned the spotting, she said she was worried she'd feel a 6- or 7-week uterus, but instead felt a nice 8-week uterus. So, in her words, "We'll just assume you're one of the majority who spot, but go on to term."

(I'm not even sure she's right in saying that, as statistics I've read indicate that most women who spot--aside from implantation and missed period bleeding--miscarry.)

Just feeling curious here. We're avoiding ultrasound, including doppler, so popping in to hear the heartbeat isn't an option. Sometimes I think I'm ready to toss my brain out the window and just do the doppler thing. But that's not a feeling I get often, and most days, I remember why we're avoiding ultrasound.

I guess it's the not knowing that's getting me. It would be nice to know if my body's just taking its time to miscarry, or if there's a nice, growing baby in there. But then, even if we were able to see/hear a heartbeat, that's not a guarantee of anything.

*Sigh*. This is teaching me patience and reliance on God in the biggest way. Most of the time, I'm very fine with the unknown. But once in a while, like right now, I just wish I could open a window into my belly and make sure things are alright.

[crayon]

Hugs to you- I can only imagine how scared you must be, and like you we do not do dopplers or U/S so a window into my body is not an option either and for sure not this early- however, if you would give you peace of mind it may be worth a fast doppler, but those are your feelings and either way they need to be respected. I dont know if I could not do a fast doppler if I was spotting- I would be so freaked I would have to hear- even if I am aginst it- but I think I would be more against it "unless" it is needed info. Just like all test.

I do send you love and even if most women who bleed do M/C there are the few lucky ones who dont, and maybe your MW is right and you are just one of the few lucky ones! Hugs!

[Patchfire]

We're avoding u/s exposure, too, and today I woke up with cramping and some spotting. It was brown, and tapered off quickly, and now there's not even a hint of it, but it's still worrisome. Logically I know that brown blood is old blood, and that the small amount I had of it is pratically nothing, but the cramping I had at the same time worries me. It's hard to tell why I'm crampy though - I also have horrible gas and some cramping that's clearly intestinal. It's the faint pain in my back that concerns me.

It's not like we can do anything, really, except wait. :hug

[welldone]

Thanks for your comments. Kash, you're right--we can't do anything but wait. And I completely know that. Nothing can prevent a miscarriage. If I go to my 12 week appt on 8/30 and the midwife can feel my uterus over the pubic bone, then I'm going to feel very reassured.

If something drastic was to happen, I'd opt for ultrasound before doppler, as exposure is lower.

[crayon]

I didnt know there was more risk with a doppler than a US.... My family thinks I am nuts because I will not have either- and with DD1 I had a doc tell me "I am going to have to go get the fetalscope and dust it off" Sad that more women do not understand that they are unsafe. Where in MI do you live? We moved from the UP in Oct to Washington State, and I miss it so much. :) I will be back!

[cholderby]

Hugs to you from me too.
This is my first (I haven't had any spotting or anything) and I still feel like I'm going crazy not knowing if things are ok. I really respect your strength. I had said before getting PG that I wouldn't have an US unless it was really medically necessary but I never gave doppler much through. We've heard the heartbeat once through doppler and now I really understand how addictive that whole business is.
Be strong, you're in my prayers.

[welldone]

Ang, I live in west Michigan (under the bridge, that is), near Kalamazoo. We love Michigan, as well, but will be moving to western Pennsylvania soon. Washington is beautiful, too, I imagine.

Thanks for the support, ladies. I'm feeling calm and hopeful right now. The spotting hasn't appeared for a few days, and I feel much fuller in the waist as times goes on. Still can't feel the upper ridge of my uterus, but I'm still learning how to do that (and it's early yet). I will keep you posted.

Hugs to those experiencing miscarriages, or those afraid of them (like me).

[Dawn & Gianna]

We had an emergency ultrasound with my first. Contractions 2 minutes apart at 18 weeks. I just had a large fibroid. Perfect baby, just had contractions for 32 weeks :). My mother had fibroids & bleeding for two of her pregnancies. She did not miscarry...

Sometimes it is worth the risk for the peace of mind it will bring you. It isn't good to be so stressed...

I wish you a very long & healthy pregnancy.