Difficult holidays

[blueridgewoman]

Is anyone else having a hard time with the holidays this year? I feel like I'm having a terrible time trying to be cheerful for everyone because of all that has gone on this year.

dp and I decorated our tree and house last night, which felt good. We were able to just block out the rest of the world. But, I can't get past the fact that thousands of families are going to be spending Christmas with one less loved one, either for military reasons (my current situation) or because they were touched by everything that has happened. I also have trouble celebrating when I know that there are so many children and families in Afganistan that are in turmoil and had difficulty celebrating Ramadan because we wouldn't stop bombing.

I think basically that I'm just beginning to grieve. I have been numb, yet sad, to the happenings of Sept. 11 up until now, but suddenly, in addition to the moderate annoyances of zealots with their cars painted to read, "We were crying on Sept. 11, but it's their turn. We will laugh as they fall." (Seriously, saw this over the weekend!), I'm feeling this terrible grief.

Anyone else feeling like this?

[flowerpower]

Yes, I am feeling a bit like that. Anyone have how to grieve in this situation?

fp

[lisamarie]

I received this information from the grief and loss group "Bridges" that I attend.


- Create a memorial in memory of your loved one. A living tree, a toast to your loved one, a memorial candle. A gift, ornament, a moment of silence. Donate in your loved one's name. H

- Get plenty of rest.

- Recognize the pressure of expectations. Ask yourself if it is REALLY necesssary to do certain things.

- It is normal that grief and loss may be heightened during this time and its improtant to you to do that grieving.

- Give yourself permission to not participate or to leave an acticity when you are ready.

- There is no right or wrong way to handle the day.

- Start a new tradition

- Let your family (especially your children) know that you might not be in the best physical or emotional condition that day. Explain that if you are upset, angry or sad, it is not because of anything they did.

- DONT forget: Anticipation of any holiday is so much worse than the actual Holiday.

I hope this helps.

Warmly~

Lisa