"Missed miscarriage"

[Isfahan]

I had my first checkup with the OB today (9 1/2 weeks) and found that the baby had no heartbeat and only measured 6 weeks. She suggested that I wait a few weeks and let my body miscarry naturally - which I certainly prefer to a D&C. Meanwhile I am feeling a whole mix of emotions - really sad, but also frustrated that I still feel so pregnant and have for 3 weeks and kind of impatient for something to happen!

I am going to ask my naturopath/midwife for some suggestions.

I hope you all have happy and uneventful pregnancies.

Shannon

[jocmtl]

Shannon, how awful! I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you must be feeling.

I think consulting with a naturopath/midwife is a good idea.

I'm sending you lots of hugs and strength.

[crayon]

Shannon,

How hard that must be- have you go to the pregnancy and loss board, some of the mamas there may have some ideas for you as well, and some support on how you are feeling. Are you going to get an U/S? I dont think I could take herbs to help a MC along unless I saw for real there was no way the baby would go to term. Hugs to you mama! We are here to support you.

Hugs, Ang

[Isfahan]

Yes, we did have an ultrasound and it was clear (even to my eye) that there was no heartbeat and the egg sac wasn't nice and roundish as it was always with my son.

My midwife has given me some mild herbs and recommends acupuncture which I will do next week. Thankfully, the nausea is subsiding.

Strangely, although this has been traumatic and is still sad and unsettling, it has given me a kind of confidence in the midwifery approach rather than the Obstetric one. You know, my doctor just suggested I "come back in two weeks" and go to the ER if I was bleeding a lot. It was weird.

Anyway, I was hovering inbetween the two. I think I might just go with a midwife next time and I have more peace with that.

Shannon

[crayon]

Doctors seem to be less "bed side manor" and more clinical- the good thing about midwives are they worry about the whole person. I am glad that you have talked with a MW to help you with this. If there was such a thing as a traumatic scale- it is nice to have someone who undersantds the mind, body and sprit all work together and herbs! :)

I will be thinking of you and wishing you peace and healing.
Ang

[Finnsma]

Oh Shannon! I am so sorry to hear of your loss! :sob Take care!

[Patchfire]

So sorry for your loss. :hug

[TOmomma]

:hug :hug I'm so sorry, and ITA about the midwife thing.

[mimim]

I'm so sorry! :hug
I'm glad your midwife is being so supportive.

[Karennnnn]

Shannon,
I am so sorry :(
It's very interesting how ob's work.
Last Saturday I started bleeding a little bit and it became more and more, so on Monday eve. I went to the ER. Long story short I have a blighted ovum.
Although very nice, the ER doc wasn't very compassionate, didn't ask if I was o.k., things like that. It may have been because I volunteered a little bit of my knowledge to begin with and he may have assumed I knew what it all meant and would be fine. Still, you'd think... Then again look who we're talking about lol!
The midwife I wanted to use, I spoke with when I was about 5 weeks. She doesn't see anyone until their 12th week so I didn't even make it far enough to visit with her.
I thought about calling her but didn't think it would do me very much good since she'd have to send me out for an u/s after I m/c, things like that. In retropsect I probably could have seen her but because I'm not even sure my insurance will pay for her (she's a cpm), I just decided to go to the first ob who could fit me in.
The ob I saw, although again was very nice, didn't even address the emotional aspect! I have to give her the benefit of the doubt though; I didn't exactly look like I was mourning when I went into her office and in all honesty I'm not. I'm more pissed at having to start all over again and not getting a spring baby than anything else, so it's petty stuff.
I liked her a lot but she was a very fast talker and as I was sitting there liking her more and more, I realized how easy it would be for her to bully me into something I didn't want to do should I stay with her for my entire pregnancy the next time. I probably wouldn't even realize she was doing it since she was so smooth.
I could also be paranoid because I have a loathe for ob's in general.
But I digress.... I probably should have found a practice that had midwives and asked to see one of them instead of an ob.
The good part is that this office has an u/s in house as well as doing their own bloodwork. That's pretty convenient.
She said the same thing, come back in 2-3 weeks and we'll talk more and if you haven't m/c in about a week, call me and we will see what to do next. She was pretty against a d&c which was fine with me, having had one years and years ago plus a c-section. That's the last thing I need.
So I think finally now it's happening; it's taking longer than I thought. I thought with the increased bleeding it would be on its way but no such luck!!! I'd just like it over with so I can get on with things. But I've said that a zillion times already :)
Good luck to you and maybe we'll be due date buddies again in the near future!
Take care,
Karen

[JoyfulMomma]

I am so sorry for your loss :hug

[Ravenmoon]

I'm so sorry Shannon.My thoughts are with you.

[Ms.Doula]

Shannon :hug & Karen as well! :hug

So sorry for your losses! I know the frustration & saddness all-too-well. :(

I second the visit of the loss board. mammas there have BTDT & are super supportive! :innocent