G.O.O.D. (getting out of debt) Sept. thread!

[Peppermint]

This thread is to support each other as we work to get out of debt. For me, it is credit card debt that really has me down, and that I am working towards getting clear from. For others it is student loans, or a mortgage, whatever- if you want to get out of debt- this is the thread for you.

Let's do a roll call, post as much info. as you want about your debt, and what you are doing to work your way out of it. I'll go first-

We are in major credit card debt, my goal is to be free of credit card debt and car loans in 2 years. I have switched our cards to lower interest cards (some 0%) and I am putting every spare penny toward the debt. I am living frugally to free up more cash, and trying to change my mindset through this process so that we never end up here again.

Who's next? (And Piglet- where are you and how is it going?)

[SpiralChrissy]

Hi everyone! :wave I just joined y'all at the end of last month. My DH is being laid off 9/15 so I'm trying to save $ in every possible way. We have some credit card debt but making our mortgage will be the biggest challenge. We don't have hardly anything saved at all. :duh I'm a SAHM and our DS just turned 1. We're not sure how we're going to make it so I'm hoping to learn a lot from all you GOOD experts :bow Light a candle for us, will ya?:candle
Good luck everyone. :nod
Chrissy

[leomom]

Hello! :hola:

We have no credit card debt (just finished paying off our 10,000 worth of plastic debt in May!), but we are coming very close to accruing it again.

We have virtually NO savings, no emergency fund, no house, etc.

Our income has been cut in half because I quit my job to be a SAHM (in 9 days!!!). We've cut our expenses drastically, but we have little to no cushion in our budget for those unexpected expenses that always seem to creep up! :eyesroll

So, my goals are as follows:

Long term: Add 10 dollars a month to our automatic savings withdrawal (35 dollars right now) until we are saving 10% of our income.

Short term: Keep our variable household expenses under $125 a week. Last week was the first time I was able to do that.

SEPTEMBER GOAL: Do our best to welcome baby without running up credit card debt!!! We have been doing well with our grocery budget and eating at home, but I worry that we'll be overwhelmed and overtired and get in the habit of eating out a few times a week again (what a waste of money!) and not have time to shop as smart by planning our meals around loss leaders, etc. If this happens, it will surely sabotage both our short and long term goal!!

Here's to a challenging but exciting September!!! :hug2

[sweetfeet]

I'd like to join in! I have a credit card with a small balance. Doesn't bug me but I would like to pay that off. What I do want to do is SAVE! We have a piddly savings account. I manage to spend on stuff that we aren't really needing. I would love to buckle down on the spending and save while putting more toward the CC. The credit card has just $1k on it. Not too bad. :LOL

[A&A]

Mostly lurking.......but learning from y'all.

My goal is to be out of cc debt in just over a year.

[3 little birds]

I'm joining in-have made a three year plan to get out of cc debt (yeah, it's bad, since the twins 5 years ago we've been paying alot of normal expenses with cc's :eek ). After this baby, I will try to work a little part time while dh is home to help out.

Having a plan has really helped to motivate us.

[Piglet68]

Hi everyone! Sorry for the absence. We moved from Cleveland to Vancouver, Canada two weeks ago. Moved into a new apartment last week, and things have been really really crazy! did I mention I'm 34 weeks pregnant? :D Our furniture arrives on Saturday and hopefully we'll be all unpacked and settled in within the next week.

We had managed to rack up alot of credit card debt, have a car debt, and my student loans, plus we had no savings, etc. It was a big reality kick in the pants since only a couple years ago DH was making a kick-ass salary and we were living the high life. But we made some poor decisions and my pretty-darn-good salary this past year was being eaten up by debt payments, which was really depressing to be living so frugally when I was making more money than ever before. Well, our one saving grace was a property we bought pre-purchase for a small deposit almost two years ago. We had a sale set up that fell through, but last week we found another buyer and it sold! :banana We made a nice profit and that money is going to pay off all our debt except the federal part of my student loan. That's about $12k Cdn and the interest is low enough that it made more sense to use it as savings. We are giving ourselves each a "treat" - DH is getting a new laptop and I'm getting six months of a weekly cleaning lady, lol.

But we still want, and have to, live frugally. I got my last paycheck in the mail today, having finished my job to be a SAHM for the next little while. DH does not have a job yet (he's been the SAHD for the last year) and we really, really don't want to eat up our newfound savings this way. With the moving etc he hasn't had a chance to do any real looking around, and with baby due in 5 weeks we may just hang in there for a while. So we are going to stick to the frugal living style we were forced to learn when back in debtsville. When DH has found a steady income, we are going to be looking to buy a place - mother has generously offered to help with the downpayment, but obviously we'll need to take care of the mortgage, and budget accordingly.

I'm feeling a huge load of relief, needless to say, but still very enthused about living frugally. Until DH has a job, things are very uncertain, so there's big motivation to stay living simple! (besides, we like it that way!) :)

[Peppermint]

Piglet- welcome back!

Am I understanding correctly that you were able to pay off your debts and still have savings to get you through until your dh finds a job? That is great!

My dh has an interview today for a new job. It would be a longer commute (45 min. drive each way instead of 15 min.- which is a big deal here in Snow city). But- the working conditions have to be better, so we are really hoping that the interview goes well and he is offered the job. He has a tendency to ask for too little pay when asked how much he would expect to make, so I told him to just tell what he makes now (not mentioning that that does not include benefits) and mention the extra commute, then say that if he is offered the job, he will have to weigh the money issue then. In reality, he will take the job if it is anything close to what he makes now, he just needs to get out of where he is. Of course, I dream of him making more money that we can put toward debt, but happiness at his job has to come first.

Our ebay stuff has been going well the past couple of weeks, dh just designed something new to sell, and I am hoping and praying that it sells as well as we hope it will, so that I can be making more to pay off the debts.

I am starting to think of Christmas gifts I can make for family this year, Christmas is usually a budget-buster for us, but last year we did a great job, making almost all of the gifts, hoping to do that again.

[mmace]

Hi - I'm new to this thread, hope you all don't mind me joining in. I'll skip the gory details, but to give you a basic overview:

My husband and I have recently separated after more than ten years of marriage and three kids. I have been a SAHM since our oldest was one, but I've also baby-sat for the past five years. Financially things were pretty bad even before the separation. We have about 10k in credit card debt, another two years on a car loan, and a decent sized mortgage payment. We refinanced a few years ago, so our mortgage is about a thousand a month (including taxes and insurance), but it will be paid off in 12 years. At that time it was smart to go with the bigger payment and pay it off in 15, but now it's hurting me. We do have a rental property that brings in $400 a month, and we have the potential for another, but need the seed money to get that done. All of our bills are up-to-date right now, but over the past two to three years there have been a significant number of late payments, so a loan of any kind is pretty much out of the question.

Right now a job for me isn't really feasible - I have my son who goes to morning kindergarten, the one I baby-sit goes to afternoon preschool, and a baby. If I were to get a full-time job I'd lose the baby-sitting income, and I'd have to pay someone to watch my baby and pick up my kindergartener.

I'm trying to get my ducks in a row as far as who takes what debt if (when!) we file for divorce. I want desperately to keep the house, and I'm pretty sure that I can get my parents to co-sign for a new mortgage to put it in my name only. When that happens, I plan to borrow enough extra to pay someone to get the second rental property ready for me, so that will be additional income.

I guess I'm still shocked that my life has come down to this, and I'm not sure if I'm thinking everything through. Anyone have any advice for me?

[Peppermint]

mmace-

:hug, I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through. How much of the debt is in your name? If you have CCs in your name, you could call the companies and ask them to lower your interest rate, and monthly payments, tell them your situation, they are likely to work with you on this. Is there any kind of WAHM business you could do? Could you take in one more child for care? Maybe a couple of kids for after-school care (older kids)?

Sorry I don't have more advice for you, but we are here to support you :grouphug:

[AuntRayRay]

[AuntRayRay]

Hi-New here and defintely in debt!
I have 3 boys ( 8;6;3mo). I'm going back to my very pt job (3hrs/day 2-3days a week). I started back at my college this week also. I'm taking 3 courses online and one on campus. Anyway I have about 7,000 + in cc debt and 500.+ in unpaid medicals right now but, the thing is I've been having trouble paying my essentials (electric,phone,car ins.,etc). Food is a killer for me because my kids can't eat certain things like my middle one can't have dairy and eggs and gluten-so special foods cost more $$. I've been looking into credit debt agency's but don't want to be scammed plus if I can't pay for essential stuff how can I pay for cc's. Most are in collections and one lawyer's office said something about court! I've been thinking maybe I need to go bankrupt?! I haven't paid my car ins yet and they turned off my cell phone yesterday! I have the cell because of the kids esp. the oldest who has a severe heart condition. I've been trying to switch over to cd'ing but, don't have enough at this point to fully switch (I don't know any one IRL that has cd'ed either). I'm also have low supply issues(bf) so I have to supplement w/ formula ($$)I had hoped to not have to worry about formula.

Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

RayRay-

[Peppermint]

I think it is time for you to call a not-for-profit credit counseling agency, you may be very surprised at how little you will have to pay per month through them. I know you don't see how they could make it work, but it is definitely worth a try before bankruptcy.

[AuntRayRay]

How do I find a non-for profit agency?

Thanx
RayRay- :)

[3 little birds]

While I am not an advocate of bankruptcy, I believe there are certainly situations where it may be warranted.

Unfortunately, the credit system is set up to hurt those who are trying to pay their bills instead of declaring bankruptcy. For instance, if you have something in collections for 5 years and then you try to make payments on it or you pay it completely, the collection will stay on your credit report for seven years from the last payment you made, instead of from when it was originally added to your report. Also, instead of listing your payments as PAID AS AGREED on your cr, if you use a credit counseling service, it will say something different (I can't remember how it is worded) that indicates that you have made special payment arrangements, possibly lowering your score. I have read alot of really scary stories about credit counseling services, people who had paid for years, thought they were done and then received a huge bill for accrued interest, etc. Maybe check with the Better Business Bureau for a good one.
Again, I believe in personal responsibility , but when there are extreme circumstances, a sick child or parent perhaps, bankruptcy has it's place. Many people report having a score of 700 or higher immediately after filing for bankruptcy. Doesn't seem fair to those struggling to pay off the debt themselves. :shrug

[sm3247]

I'd like to join - my goal for GOOD is paying off my student loan. DH and I have debt in the form of a car loan, my student loans from law school, and a mortgage. The car loan was not the best idea, perhaps, but it's a very reliable, reasonable car and a zero percent interest loan. the payment is annoying, but because there's no interest it's not a priority for me. the mortgage is on a 15 year plan and is higher than is comfortable but we're looking forward to 14 years from now when it's gone.

The student loan is another story. I have no regrets about going to law school and I was fairly conservative in my borrowing, but it's still debt. It's probably the one thing that's keeping me from being a SAHM and I really feel like it's a drain on our finances. I've done my best to pay back quickly and if all goes as planned, it will be half of what it was when i graduated which is an important milestone for me. I've been an advocate of living frugally and simply for several years now. We have our ups and downs but when we're following the plan, it goes really well.

I'll share our recent epiphany. DH and I realized that we had some sort of money leak and that we were really having trouble meeting expenses that come once or twice a year. We always said that we should have some sort of savings account to pay for items that we expect but never plan well for. I sat down and added up all of our expenses that come annually or semi-annually (bar membership fees, car registration and insurance, property taxes and home insurance, and life insurance premiums). I then divided the total by twelve to average what we should be setting aside each month. I had done this before, but couldn't figure out why we never seemed to be able to do it so I took the next step. I got out a calendar and my old statements and wrote down when each payment came due. Because the expenses are spread throughout the year, we always seemed to be paying for something and couldn't keep track of how much should be in that "savings" account. Now I've got a schedule of how much should be in savings at the end of each month in the year and hopefully we won't get thrown off every time one of those bills comes in the mail.

I realize it's not a lot, but baby steps are important!

[A&A]

Consumer Credit Counseling Services is a good one. (Beware, though--there are lots of similar sounding ones out there). Yes, it goes on your score, but it looks much better than bankruptcy.

Mmace, I don't know your story, but my heart goes out to you. Have you tried marital counseling?

[mmace]

Thank you for welcoming me! Yes, we have definitely tried counselling for our marriage - but apparently we are beyond that. There has been someone else in my husband's life for quite some time now - he was with her for my entire pregnancy and the four months of her life before he moved out, and I didn't know...

Thanks for any thoughts on things I need to think through as we work the financial things out - I'm going to post in the Single Parents board as well - but I know that I'm going to have to keep up a frugal lifestyle to keep myself and the kids afloat.

[AuntRayRay]

[QUOTE]There has been someone else in my husband's life for quite some time now - he was with her for my entire pregnancy and the four months of her life before he moved out, and I didn't know...

mmace: I'm sorry..unfortunately I know how your feeling-the same happened to me about 7 years ago..you're not alone sweetie :hug2 All I can say is for me it got easier to deal w/as time passed.


RayRay :love

[kerc]

i'm still here, but dd just woke up, no time to chat.

[mamatowill]

Hello!

I would like to join you. DH and I have alot of debt. I have had to go back to work early because of it. In a nutshell we have cc debt, loan, student loans, back taxes, and car. Not to mention other bills. Hubby is on a special diet and I try to eat organic whenever possible. Plus DH is a SAHD but is going back to school.

[Piglet68]

Hey, Shannon, those baby steps are a great way to begin. It's amazing to me how much it helps to write everything down. DH and I started doing that last year and it's a good feeling to know what you have at all times, and what is coming down the pipeline. Despite our best intentions, before writing it all down, there were always leaks or forgotten expenses and we racked up a fair share of overdraft charges.

Yes, Peppermint, when the sale money comes in some time this week we'll be debt free (except for that one student loan i mentioned) and we'll have savings in the bank. We will be using that to supplement until DH finds a job, but we are both determined to do very little of that. Two years ago when DH quit his high-paying job we had a very comfy savings...and due to very poor planning and spending habits we used it all up supplementing income. So this time we have sat down and made a plan for where every dollar is going to make sure we don't run the well dry a second time. We're still moving in (furniture arrived today) and I need DH around here full time if there's any chance of getting settled before baby arrives. Then I'll probably want some help for the first couple of weeks. So he hopes to find something to start end of October. The thing is, we have no idea what that will be, or what salary he will make, and so frugal living is vitally important right now. We have no idea how long we have to stretch this budget out. Frankly, I find it alot harder to have a big sum of money in the bank, but nothing coming in, because it's too easy to spend when the numbers seem high. I prefer being on a monthly budget, so I'm looking forward to a steady income again!

[SpiralChrissy]

I know what you mean about spending when you have it. My DH is losing his job on 9/15 and it's been strangely liberating NOT to have $$. I know I can't spend so I"m not tempted but little things anymore. I don't even entertain the idea of spending above what I HAVE to spend now.
But, you can do it! Just take good care of yourself and hold on to your $$. We're thinking of yoU!
:love

[leomom]

Spiral Chrissy, I know exactly what you mean about it being liberating to have virtually no money. Ironically, it's been easier for me to spend less and want less now that we are living on one income. I feel like we have more and I enjoy what we spend our money on more.

This is the 2nd week I've been able to adhere to the household budget! This is a HUGE accomplishment for me, and I am so proud of myself! :jumpers: I came in at $5.72 under budget for the week!

But, I'm really nervous as the days get closer to the arrival of our first child...I don't know how much our lives are going to change..financially AND emotionally!!! I'm really excited, and have given myself the goal of taking one step at a time...so I'm focusing on making it through Friday and sticking to this week's budget. (I'm scheduled for a c section on Friday due to Placenta Previa).

Shannon, I love your idea for keeping track of and dealing with those irregular expenses. I'm putting that on my list of things to work on this week...it'll help make the waiting game easier. I am going crazy in anticipation of this baby!! :bouncy

[Ary99]

Hi, I'd like to join too!

Aunt Rayray, Consumer Credit Counseling was a God-send for me in college when I was sucked into all the plastic they virtually give away to college kids.

Our situation now is sort of promising. We have $10,400 in cc debt thanks to infertility treatments that didn't work. My goal is to pay off that by August as that's when our "no interest on balance transfers" special deal runs out. We just came back from a huge family trip, and I'm srtuggling to pay off the debt we accumulated on that (I separated that from the cc balance because I think I can pay it all off this month).

I'd like to offer a suggestion for those of you who do on-line banking. Granted my dh works for the bank, so I don't know it there are fees involved normally for more than 2 accounts, but my system seems to be helping.

I have a checking account, a savings account and a variable account. Part of DH's check is automatically put into savings for our property taxes. I don't touch that. But I pull out whatever I can from checking after his check is deposited, even if it's a small amount, and put it in the variables account. That way when we have an unexpected expense (like the fridge repair we just had), I transfer from variables to checking to help offset the expense. It helps me to physically move the money, because I'm lousy at leaving anything leftover at the end of the month.

It really as helped to see that account grow bit by bit and know we have something to help pay for things like new tires.

I look forward to sharing ideas!

[kerc]

my update:
I'm a grad student, married to a grad student. we have two car loans, a mortgage, cc debt and student loan debt. right now we're trying to maintain without establishing new debt.

We recently went on a vacation and spent about 40 bucks, including gas and the new life jacket I had to buy for erin to be in the canoe. But we're in the midst of a basement remodel and it is soo tempting for me to hire someone to finish up. Must persist. we don't really have the $$ anyhow.

[sm3247]

Spiral Chrissy, I know exactly what you mean about it being liberating to have virtually no money. Ironically, it's been easier for me to spend less and want less now that we are living on one income. I feel like we have more and I enjoy what we spend our money on more.

I agree - we discovered early this month that we had virtually no money left in checking. We had been setting money aside in savings but getting into the habit of taking it back out to pay off the cc bill or running out of money in the budgeted amount and just putting it on a cc - we've been living one month ahead of our paycheck. For the last 10 days we've just agreed that we won't spend money we don't have an it's worked. When we wanted to go to the farmer's market, we used change from the jar. When DH put gas in the car it was with the $5 I found in the laundry. It's been tough and I feel a little like a teenager - but I'm determined to stop using credit cards for things like groceries.


Shannon, I love your idea for keeping track of and dealing with those irregular expenses. I'm putting that on my list of things to work on this week...it'll help make the waiting game easier. I am going crazy in anticipation of this baby!! :bouncy

I have to admit, I feel like an idiot for not doing it sooner - we know the car insurance is coming due "sometime" but never know exactly when or have the money set aside to pay it. I'm hoping to quit my job soon after this baby is born and we'll have to live within our means.

[newmainer]

Hi everyone and welcome to all the new mamas! (both to the thread and soon to *being* a mom).

Well, in a nutshell, dh and I have major cc debt from remodeling our house and a significant balance even before that, mortgage, student loan, and car payment. ugh. we are committed to halving our debt within one year- for both of us, we feel that's important before having another child. I dont think I could deal with the psychological burden of the debt we have right now while adjusting to life with 2 kids.

Some of you who have been on the thread for awhile might remember that i was getting ready to do craft fairs to sell some children's items i've been sewing. Well, my friend and i had our first one this past weekend. It went pretty well- i sold 6 pairs of my items, and while i'm happy with that, i am also disappointed. I was really expecting to sell more. we both got great comments from people, just not a lot of buying. But, i have ot tell myself that this is the first one, and i have more ideas for the next one and hope to have a website and be advertising here on MDC (lookout for Junebug's Winter Wear!) by the end of the month. I also sold a bunch on amazon, which paid for chiropractic treatments this month- but then our property tax bill just came in. We've only been saving for the last few months, so we dont have all of it put aside, but with this month's contribution, at least 1/2. so- better than none.

I'm grateful for the continuation of this thread... it can be hard to stay motivated in all this.

[bamboogrrrl]

Hey everyone, and greetings to the new folks! DH and I have only one debt right now: our mortgage. It's my goal to pay it off. While I used to separate good debt/bad debt in my head, I'm realizing that ALL debt is bad debt, because it limits our options. We refi-ed our 30 year mortgage into a 15 year mortgage, and are on target to pay it off in about half the time. I set a yearly goal to make paying it off more manageble. We met this year's in June, so am setting up to reach next year's goal quicker (I hope).

Things are complicated by the fact that DH turns 50 this year (he's 13 years older than me, and it would be nice to ditch the mortgage sooner rather than later) and we are having
(mis)adventures in infertility. Dumb luck that tests show everything to be "fine" yet I'm still not knocked up!

Things are even more complicated by the fact that DH is self-employed, and to make a long story short, he is about to lose the building he has rented for 18 years for his business. We have to make some quick decisions (nevermind that I've been trying to light a fire under his tush for 18 months to get a proactive plan in place) that will be expensive. We will probably have to put up a barn at our house, and I'm trying to come up with a plan to keep costs down as much as possible. Of course, DH wants the El Dorado of buildings.

I get so inspired by the progress on this thread... Keep it coming! I'm going to need it in the coming year.

[SpiralChrissy]

My DH is 13 yrs older than me too! :) DH is 46 and I'm 33! Glad to meet another "younger woman" :)
Your mortgage plan is wonderful!! I wish you all the luck in the world!! :)

[kerc]

:bawl :crying :guilty

I am so frustrated right now that it is crazy. I;ve been out of my mind busy with work lately plus we are remodeling our basement. Neither is really conducive to me feeling at ease. Money has been tight forever and just this week my dh gets paid again. Well today i log into my bank account and found that it was overdrawn. i felt so helpless -- and like I can't get out of this cycle. The thing is I forgot to write down a check. Which might have been a bad scene, but then dh used his debit card several times. So not only is there a bounced check, there are about 8 debits that were overdrawn -- meaning a 35 dollar fee each time. Plus I am so embarassed that this happened. So instead of my paycheck arriving tomorrow to go right to debt, it goes to bringing the bank up to positive and then friday's check might cover the expenses.

Our system is clearly not working. DH is going to handle the expenses from here on out. I just can't do it. Anyhow, nothing really positive to report, but I am up at 3 am worrying about all this and just needed to share my stress with someone else.

[Peppermint]

Oh Kerc :hug

I think you know that most of us have been there at one time, I hate when I can't sleep over money issues, it just keeps running through your head.

When your dh takes over, do you think the finances will be better, or is it mainly to keep you from being up all night? I do all the money stuff here, I only tell dh when funds are getting really low so he won't buy anything unexpected, but I just figure there is no need for BOTH of us to worry on it. I know that's probably not the best plan though, who is it? Newmainer? that has the weekly financial meetings with her dh? That seems like a really wise thing to do, but, as I said, I am not sure 2 people worrying will change things. Maybe, Kerc- your dh taking over will be good to give you a break from the worry for a while.

More :hug

[bamboogrrrl]

Kerc - YMOYL says "No Shame, no blame." Don't beat yourself up. We all slide sometimes or we wouldn't be here.

A friend gave me an interesting idea about managing home finances. She and her husband trade off doing the home expenses ever year. Her dh did a woeful job this past time around, so she offered to take it over if he PAID her to do it. I laughed soooo hard! And he agreed!

[Defenestrator]

Hi --

I want to join you. Dh and I have a lot of debt from student loans (he went to grad school . . .twice!), credit cards (grad school expenses plus some sins early in our marriage plus treatment for dog with cancer), and a home equity line of credit that absorbed one of our car loans and some renovation work that was necessary on our house. The work isn't finished yet, but we are focusing on keeping the costs down and paying for the rest of it in cash.

The whole debt load is about $75k, not including the first mortgage on the house. When I talk about getting out of debt, I am not really including that number. Right now dh is an architect, but not making a lot of money. It is not possible right now to make the minimum payments on everything, buy food, pay utilities and deal with other non-reducible expenses on his salary alone, so I am working as a doula. I also work as an apprentice midwife, though that is much more part-time. Both bring a new expense -- child care, which is about $600-$700 per month for my two kids, part-time.

We are on strict budgets now and pay for nearly everything with cash. I have a grocery/spending money budget and spend about $320 per month on food and my personal expenses (like haircuts, yarn from the yarn store, lunches/coffee out, etc.) Dh gets a $20 per week allowance for similar things. I would say that those allowances are our only reducible expense, but I am pretty attached to them and don't want to give them up.

Our goal -- to get rid of the credit card portion of the debt within two years without letting the others go higher. I have been thinking about a lot of radical and not so radical solutions, including moving the cc debt to another kind of loan, pulling money out of my 401k to pay it, moving it to a low-interest credit card, selling one of my cars to help pay for it (though that could cause more problems than it solved), etc.

What I want -- some ideas on how to lower monthly payments without paying more interest in the long run, some ideas on how to generate more income, and just a general I-am-going-through-the-same-thing support.


Oh, to comment on a pp's situation, dh and I have struggled for a long time with how to keep the checking account organized. What it took was taking a set amount of money out every paycheck and then not taking out any more without telling the other partner. So, we take our allowances out on Monday and don't go to the atm again for two more weeks.


Seeya!

[kerc]

thanks for the support. I think it was me grieving over the lost $$, more than blaming myself. DH is ok with it, he's screwed up in the past before and knows that one of us is bound to again.

I felt so much better after posting about it. Funny how we never talk about finances with our IRL friends.

Anyhow...dh is doing the finances because he just lets me handle it all and it is too much. I'm much more likely to check in on him than he is on me. frankly we have too much irregular s*** going on right now that we end up not making time for a finances meeting. Soooo...I'm creating a calendar for him of when bills are due and handing over the cc/checkbook/responsibility. when we get paid friday he's going to give me cash for gas, groceries, etc. We're paying our dcp in cash from here on out. It would just be too freakin embarassing to bounce a check to her.

I like the idea of sharing things, it just doesn't seem to happen around here. Easier if it is an assigned duty. I used to take time at work to do the finances and, well, since dd that time has been precious.

I did sleep a bit after posting. of course dd was up about 1.5 hrs after I finally fell asleep, but we still have coffee and food in the house. No coffee filters :rolleyes but a french press did the trick.

[bamboogrrrl]

Defen: Some tough questions for you and your family. You could definitely call all your credit card companies and see if they will reduce your interest rates. If not, you can start moving your balances to a low or zero interest card and at least "consolidate" them that way and pay less interest. Student loans can be put temporarily into a hardship deferment or forebearance by calling your lender. Sounds like following your doula/midwife dream creates childcare expenses. Anyway to delay or change your plans so that you can share childcare with DH for the short term and eliminate that 600/700 month (ouch!)? Are you earning enough $$$ beyond your childcare costs to make it worth working right now?

Once you arrange things so you can put a little money toward debt, choose either the smallest debt (good to have that sense of accomplishment) or the one with the highest interest rate to throw your bucks at. If you choose the smallest debt, once that is paid, take that payment and add it to the minimum payment of your next debt to pay off. It's called "snowballing" and can help you pay your debt off faster.

I would really think long and hard about using your 401K money. Better not to touch it if you ever have an emergency. If you don't have an emergency cushion in place, let your 401K be there in case of disaster.

Just my 2 cents. Sounds you are asking all the right questions, and that in itself is half the battle...

[Defenestrator]

Hi bamboogrrrl. Thanks for the reply!

The whole issue of me working is more complicated than it would seem. Right now the bare-bones, short-term survival budget puts us at about $500 per month short with no daycare cost on dh's salary alone. $420 of the $600-$700 daycare cost is ds1's preschool, which he likes a lot and thrives in.

I make about $1500 per month as a doula. I get tips occasionally or make a little more and that money can go toward debt. Right now I just have childcare for births and for one afternoon per week. Baby comes with me to midwifery office hours and I swap daycare for my older son on those days. Dh does the rest and I work a lot of nights and weekends attending births and doing visits. I probably work about 10-15 hours a week now doing visits and he is covering those. The vast majority of my births are at night, but I need the emergency daycare to cover births that might be during the day.

I have thought about chucking it all for a few years until the baby is ready for preschool and my older ds is in all-day school, but I am still left with that $500 per month. It will probably be about 3 years or so until dh's salary grows to cover that. I hate the idea of him working a second job (though he occasionally takes in short-term projects on the side and those help a lot). I also really like my work, though it is stressful to balance everything.

I agree about not using the 401k. It is nice to have some cushion. I haven't tried to call the credit card companies and ask for a reduction -- I may do that. We are fighting with the student loan folks about one payment that they double-deducted from our account, but when that is resolved we may try to give ourselves a little break from those loans.

Hope this makes sense.

[bamboogrrrl]

Spiral: Just curious...Is it me, or do you experience your DH as very "set in his ways?" Not sure if it's my dh, or our age difference... Change is soooo hard for him.

Defen: Glad I was more helpful than not. If you can get the student loans put into forebearance or deferment (plead young children/low income), maybe that will be part/all of the $500 you need each month.

And then there is the other side of it: to reduce expenses. Some ideas? Last winter, I discovered the joys of our local library and haven't rented a video since. Am also borrowing books from my amazon.com wishlist from the library first to see if they are worth the purchase. Am decluttering the house and selling books and cds on amazon.com. DH and I reinsulated part of the attic last year, which decreased our heating bills.

We are smart and creative women, so I'm sure there are a bazillion leaks in our finances which we can fix once we find them. When I get to throw a double payment at the mortgage, it all seems worth it.

I had an interesting moment last weekend hanging out with some of dh's friends. I told them about my plan to pay off the mortgage early, and they snickered about another friend with the same plan. They made fun of his two years of frugality, how they could NEVER live that way. I pointed out that this same friend was thinking about retiring early to Hawaii as a result of his efforts. That shut them right up!

I'm not sure if this should be part of this thread or not, but wouldn't it be cool to have a growing list of resources on simple living/frugality/GOOD stuff?

Books that have helped me so far:
Your Money or Your Life
Cashing In on the American Dream: How to Retire at 35
Making a Living without a Job

[3 little birds]

kerc, sometimes calling the back where you were overdrawn and explaining the situation (forgetting about a check, then snowballing charges from debit cards) will incline them to reduce or eliminate the charges. I have had to do this many times over the years :bag: and have always at least gotten the amount of the charges reduced by half. It's worth a try anyway. It helps if you've had your account a long time and don't have overdrafts on a regular basis.

Our savings is automatically withdrawn from dh's check so instead of tying our checking account to a savings, we tied it to our bank's visa. It has no balance, but if we are overdrawn for some reason, $100.00 is deducted from the credit card, put into checking and we are charged a $10 transfer fee. It is much cheaper than $35 for every transaction. Then we just pay off the cc balance from the next paycheck. So far, it has only happened once, but it really helps me from stressing out about overdraft fee's because we use a debit card for everything.

HTH!

[3 little birds]

Oops, I forgot to add that I've read that banks offer free checking to folks who can't afford to tie their checking to savings (those living check to check) because they KNOW that they are more likely to have overdraft charges, thus making up the free checking cost.

[kerc]

good idea about checking with the bank re: overdraft charges. i'm going tomorrow. What have I got to loose? I already have massive $$ in overdraft to pay. it is a credit union and, well, they've been very good to us. I dunno if anything will happen. The really shitty thing is that i started the online app for the backup line of credit and never completed it bc i didn't have time.

i have more to say re someone else's post, but gotta run bc i have dinner cooking.

[Glittergal]

Hi, Can I join this thread?

I'm happy to have found an area where I can vent freely about financial stress...for some reason I have friends with very little debt and/or very rich parents. :eyesroll

We had dd as a little surprise at the end of grad school. I had planned to work full time for a few yrs before getting pregnant. I just graduated and have (gulp) 92,000 in student loans. We managed to pay off our CCs and now just have a car loan. We would really like to get into a house but in the current market, are finding it virtually impossible. We have no savings. I of course, don't want to work and want to soak up my time with DD. If I went to work full time, I could probably knock off my loans pretty quickly because we do live frugally but I'll probably work part time and make use my salary towards school loan payments and childcare.

Since getting rid of our ccs, we have found some relief in paying for things in cash but are having a hard time saving because it seems like we have SO much debt that 10-20 isn't going to make a difference, so we spend it on iced coffees, occassional dinners out, etc. Anyway, my thoughts don't seem very clear tonight. Just happy to have found some other mammas in similar situations.

[newmainer]

oh, my. we have done the overdraft thing *so* many times, and it is irritating every single time. I just never account for the "little" expenses, and I always think- oh, this $5 wont' make a big difference. But then they add up- to bank charges.

not sure who asked, but yes, dh and I do weekly financial meetings. we've slacked a bit lately, but we're back on. For us, its just a good base/reality check every week. forces me to balance the books, look at what we have and for dh to tell me what is coming in, since he is self employed and there is nothign regular about his paychecks.

a couple things we've done...

-just applied to put our card with the lowest balance to a no interest card 'til Dec. '05. Hopefully we'll have it paid off by the end of this year though, that's my goal.

- decided not to repair our deck this fall, as deck season is basically over. will save and try to do in spring, and instead put energy toward insulating the attic, getting our bathroom plumbed, and baseboards installed. (FIL is coming to visit and help with house projects- yea!)

- getting my website up and runnign by the end of the month! (fingers crossed)

- continue to lower food bill.

-remind myself that the only way this debt is going to end is by us doing it- there' s no magic out there! funny how this is one of the hardest ones to accept.... :eyesroll



So... i have a questions. my dd is 15 mo. and really outgrown most of the toys we have. I can't go out and buy a bunch more, even in used shops, esp. this close to Christmas. what are some inexpensive/homemade toys that she might enjoy? anyone with a toddler have recommendations?

bamboogrrrl.. i envy where you are right now. i want to by double paying my mortgage!

[luna-mia]

Hi!! Just wanted to join in.
We have $200 more to go and we will be c.c. debt free! Next week will be our last payment and I swear its been a struggle but the end if finally in sight!
We have one car loan and I really want to build up my savings acct. Our fridge dying wiped us out. We were just starting to do so good but these things happen I guess. Looking forward to some inspiration here!

[kerc]

glittergal -- welcome. my dd is a surprise grad school baby (both of us are phd candidates). Only we were both about 50 % through....so onward and upward we struggle. my laptop/primary work computer is in the shop as of yesterday morning and I am getting an amazing amount of work done without an instant internet connection. i hope to be done with the phd in may...we are a little lower on the student loans, but we *do* own the front door to our house :LOL and have a mortgage to cover the rest. there's hope.

toys....how do you buy your milk? we spent about 3 months buying it in 1/2 gallon paper cartons and then opened the tops, washed them out and put one inside the other. Blocks!
also yogurt containers and the like make fun containers to play with.
a lot of people here talk about playsilks. well...you probably have some ratty old sheet or something you can cut into an appropriate size.
egg carton + smallish objects to fill it with.
anything you can load into a basket.
laundry basket

I know I can think of more, given some time.

[Indigo73]

Toddler toy ideas that we've come up with.

1. Watching local Freecycle - got a Little Tyke Kitchen (ds' fave at the moment)
2. The standard pots and pans (He's either going to be a drummer or chef - lol)
3. Homemade picture books - I am an amateur photographer. His first one was a people who love me picture book. The series has since grown to constuction equipment, cars, boats/ships and flowers. I am currently working on 3 more: colors, numbers and shapes. Letters is a future project.
4. Homemade playdough
5. Homemade paint - currently an outdoor activity - maybe basement once the temps drop.
6. He has a little workbench we made out of scrap wood.
7. Boxes - we have a friend who works at an appliance store and get nice huge boxes

[Sweeney]

Nice to know I'm not the only one! DH and I came out of college with NO idea of how to manage our finances. We've acquired a mortgage (which isn't too bad), a car loan (2 years left), various student loans, and some serious CC debt. We live somewhat paycheck to paycheck, and always play the game of what bill aren't we going to pay this month?

I seriously think that the only time we would have qualified for a consolidation loan was BEFORE we had any debt to consolidate. What type of sense does that make?

We've had a card go to collections so our credit sucks patootie. I alternate from praying for a windfall, to feeling like there's no hope b/c even if we do pay it off it'll still be on our credit report. Does anybody know how a credit counseling agency vs. having a bill go to collections vs. bankruptcy works on your credit?

Right now we're budgeting with every extra cent going to CC payments. For back-up plans we have selling off the car we own money on (it's a convertible though so selling it in Winter is not really going to happen), or selling the house and moving into the cheapest apartment we can find.

I HATE money!

[kerc]

welcome sweeny...i can't say its a great thing to be among these folks, i'd prefer to be among the not-in debt crowd. But it is good to find people who are willing to talk about debt. It takes away the shame factor IMO.

our good things for the weekend:
1. our wireless plan is with sprint. we've done three years with them and have been very happy with them and our plan/our phone. happy until the last month or so when our service began to get incredibly spotty and very crappy. So...we've decided to live without wireless. we were using it for long distance, but decided not to stay with wireless for long distance bc we were getting crap for coverage. here's to getting some $$ back. probably not all the 40 dollars we pay every month bc we'll need long distance.

2. phone bill came (landline) and we'd paid twice last month? did ya'll read the above where I was very busy for a month? anyhow...our next month's bill is 30 cents. 20 extra bucks to put towards the d*** overdraft fees.

3. i was out running and got a free desk. It's a little secretary desk, but it will work great for storing erin's paper and such. did I mention it was free?

4. I did food shopping for the week and have spent 34 bucks this week.

[kamilla626]

Hi, I'm new to this thread but the stories I've been reading sound all too familiar. Especially that whirlpool of paying overdraft fees.

Dh and I were just talking about how we need to change our definition of what we can "afford". Dh feels like if he's got $80 in his wallet, then we can "afford" to go buy new shoes for dd or some new tool he's been wanting. But ~hello~?? If we have huge cc debt, and no savings, no stocks, no extra anything... we can't afford squat.

I make the same thinking errors. We just went out to eat last night, and all those thoughts of "This money should go to a credit card" ... I just ignored them and ate my steak. :shake

I keep telling myself that we're doing better than we used to with our money. But I still just feel so embarassed about it all. I mean, we're both very smart people with demanding jobs. And we can't manage to do the 3rd grade math that's required for sticking to a budget?? Makes me nausous just thinking about it.

[newmainer]

kamilla- I *totally* understand where you are coming from. Embarrassment is definitley huge for me over this- not that i am embarrassed becuase of what others might think but for myself and the fact that we did this at all and its taken so d*mn long for us to come to our senses!! We have/had the same patterns you have- any extra money went toward "things" rather than just paying down our debt. In fact, we're doing it again this month- i got some money for selling books and our tiler bought some unused materials off of us. But, at least this time we're spending the extra money on things we actually need, like dd does need shoes and i desperately need pants. I have two pairs of jeans, one rather ill fitting. but, my first stop is goodwill, and then tjmaxx. the triumph for me in this is that we found other ways to get these things, rather than going into the red, or beyond our balance. i literally need to repeat to myself- we don't have the money, so we can't get it. rather than- oh, we'll find the money. that's what got us into this mess!!

So, in addition to comiserating, i would say that for several of us, the book Your Money or Your Life has made a big impression, and reading the TIghtwad Gazette is inspiring to me. Also, we don't do budgets. We do keep track of what we spend (loosely, we need to get better) and tally and look at our categories at the end of the month to see where we can tighten up and chart our totals. Hopefully we will see our expenditures fall, in addition to our cc debt. As they say in YMOYL, budgets, like diets, do not work. I guess there are soem people who they do work for, but for the vast majority, they aren't sustainable. I think the YMOYL philosophy is more so *for us*. I 'd be interested to hear what you think if you check it out.

good luck and glad you've joined us :)

[Peppermint]

Kamilla-
I can also relate to what you are saying.

I am embarrased by our debt situation, I would just die if my family knew how bad off we are with the CC debt, that to me, is the most embarrasing part.

We got into debt mainly from spending money that should've gone to debt or savings. I have talked about this before, we didn't get pizza from Pizza Hut paying with the CC, we bought that with cash, and then when we NEEDED new tires, we put those on the CC, feeling like "Oh, we just don't make enough money", really pitying ourselves, instead of realizing that the money we spent on pizza and a movie and clothes, etc. should've gone into savingd to prepare for "unexpected expenses" like tires.

I think the hardest thing for me is knowing that there really is no good reason for our debt situation, we really did do this to ourselves. My dh makes a livable income for us if we just live frugally, and if we had saved any extra we do have.

We have never lived WAY out of our means, like we have 2 used cars - a ford taurus wagon and an escort, 96 and 98 respectively, so it's not like we went and bought the Durango we wanted. It was an eye opener for us to realize that- "hey- we can't afford even the taurus and escort" and even without the debt- we are not in the financial set to have a Durango- we are not entitled, yk? And WITH the debt, we are not even people who can afford cable. We did have a sense of entitlement with certain things.

This thread has been great for me, even though we have slowed down a bit from when I first started this months ago (talking on this thread has slowed down, I mean), it is always on my mind. I have finally made the FIRM commitment to REALLY get out of debt, and create a savings, and most importantly, change the way we handle money and change what we feel "entitled" to.

DH should be hearing this week on a new job, he has one job that he is likely (knock on wood) to get, and another that he will have his first interview for. We have no idea what either will pay- but I keep hoping it will be more than he makes now- to really jump start our debt reduction. It's funny in the past I would've dreamed of him making more money so that we could afford a new vehicle or something like that. Now- it's all about getting out of debt and creating savings.

I am making plans to start doing craft fares with the "Irish" themed stuff, I am going to spend the winter crafting, and start the shows next year. This money would all go toward debt reduction.

How is everyone else doing on their paths out of debt? Right now we are about $2000 down from when we started.

[sm3247]

I just wanted to share that we hit another pitfall this month. We really had just enough to get us through the end of the month - and our goal this month was NOT to put anything on a credit card. Unfortunately, we discovered that DS is about to grow out of his car seat. His shoulders are just even with the straps on the harness, meaning he needs a bigger one. It isn't a horrible thing since we have another baby on the way and the convertible can be turned around and used rear facing in the second car - just frustrating that it needed to be purchased so soon.

We don't have outstanding CC balances (my debt consists of student loans, car loan, and mortgage) but tend to live a paycheck behind. Like others here, we have a habit of spending our cash on little things and putting bigger items on CCs to be paid the next month and the cycle begins all over again. It's incredibly frustrating because on paper, we have enough to get through just about any month - including surprises. Unfortunately, we end up paying for previous months surprises because of lack of planning. This month we paid for the travel expenses, etc. for my brother's wedding and now we have the new car seat to pay for out of next month's money. The worst part, is that when I hit a snag like this I get really discouraged and tend to give up for a while.

[Peppermint]

Shannon- DON'T GET DISCOURAGED! You have to forget the little setbacks and just keep going!

Is there anything you can sell on ebay or the TP to make up the car seat money?

[sm3247]

Shannon- DON'T GET DISCOURAGED! You have to forget the little setbacks and just keep going!

Is there anything you can sell on ebay or the TP to make up the car seat money?

It's a good idea - I could get rid of the extraneous diapers laying around but that's not going to cover the Britax Marathon I insisted on buying. I tend to have the "if you're going to do it, do it right" mentality with everything. I appreciate the support and i'll try not to get discouraged but it's just sort of frustrating when you think you've planned for things and it doesnt' turn out that way.

The carseat wasn't a completely unexpected expense - I just planned on making it closwer to when the new baby comes. Also, we went yesterday to safeway to get a video (with our gathered dollar bills and change) and saw that they had a great sale on organic cereal that almost never goes on sale. We bought a bunch to stock up, which means that the phone bill will have to wait until the next paycheck.

[Peppermint]

As I typed that, I thought, "this may work if she bought a Cosco (like I do) but not if she's a Britax gal" :LOL.---Unless of course you also buy REALLY fancy dipes :).

[kerc]

whew. can you hear that sigh of relief? the credit union just called. when the overdrafts appeared last week, we (finally!) applied for the overdraft line of credit. apparently when you apply for it they refund any NSF charges for the past 30 days. I almost started crying when the loan person called me to tell me that (and that I need to get over there to sign some papers).

we are discussing the merits of becoming a one-car family or selling one of our nice cars and buying a beater. it always sounds like it is going to work well and then it snows, making the bike less of an option for transportation.

------
small success: i've been hanging out our clothes 1 x a week (at least) for the past month, rather than drying. well the past 2 weeks have been dry and windy (when it isn't raining), so i've been hanging almost every load. electric bill was 15 dollars less!!
-----

and peppermint, please keep talking about the cash for now, credit for later problems. We have the same issues. I read someplace the suggestion that instead of putting every last penny toward paying down the debt, the real way to break the cc cycle is to actually have a backup account. meaning say i have 100 extra bucks this month, try to put 50 bucks toward debt paydown and 50 bucks toward tomorrow's expenses. until you have about 3 months operating expenses.

at this rate that might be 2020 for me!

----
this is getting long, but....I also recommend reading some background on the american culture of consumerism and debt.
the overspent american (by juliet schor).
affluenza (this was a pbs special as well, your library might have a video recording of it).

[sm3247]

As I typed that, I thought, "this may work if she bought a Cosco (like I do) but not if she's a Britax gal" :LOL.---Unless of course you also buy REALLY fancy dipes :).

No, no fancy dipes - or at least not fancy enough to cover the massive carseat. ;)

In my defense, I really do have a reason for the marathon. DS was very large at birth (over 10 lbs) and grew very quickly out of his infant carseat. Thinking he was going to be an amazon child we bought a Marathon for our one car because it has the highest weight limit for a convertible. At the time I had a relative who worked for Graco who got a second carseat (to be kept at my parents for visits) for next to nothing. Last year we bought a second car because of my job and took the Graco to go in the older, less nice car a honda civic. He's grown out of the Graco which has very low harness straps, but he much prefers the honda to ride in. I looked into the combination and forward facing seats, but I prefer to keep him harnessed as long as possible and didn't want to put him in a booster seat just because it's cheaper. I've seen pictures of a seven year old in this seat and it should last a long time. We also live in a small town with few baby stores nearby. We know the marathon fits well in our little honda civic and is very easy to install.

I realize that's a long, drawn-out explanation for my carseat spending spree, but there is a method to my madness.

[Peppermint]

Shannon- no need to justify safety related stuff ;)

We should hear dh's job offer money today---C'mon- BIG BUCKS, BIG BUCKS---NO WHAMMIES! :)

[sm3247]

and peppermint, please keep talking about the cash for now, credit for later problems. We have the same issues. I read someplace the suggestion that instead of putting every last penny toward paying down the debt, the real way to break the cc cycle is to actually have a backup account. meaning say i have 100 extra bucks this month, try to put 50 bucks toward debt paydown and 50 bucks toward tomorrow's expenses. until you have about 3 months operating expenses.



kerc - congratulations on your small successes. I still can't convince DH to hang the laundry. He'd keep our house at 62 degrees in the winter "to save energy" but when he hangs laundry he'll do something insane like get the towels and sweatshirts out and hang them up and throw the socks and underwear in the dryer.

I agree with your theory. I think you'll never feel financially secure until you have at least some money in a savings account. I also think that the problem with using the cc as a backup instead of savings is that you never really get out of the habit of using the cc. My struggle (see my other posts) is that I hate taking the money out of savings when we need something and think if I put it on the cc we'll just pay it back with the next paycheck. We do, but it makes it impossible to see how much money we actually have and how much we're living on. there are just too many positives and negatives on the balance sheet.

[kerc]

the marathon sounds totally reasonable to me. Honestly the straps twisting like crazy on my graco infant carseat made me think I could never own another graco one. Apparently if the straps are twisted it doesn't work as well? anyhow we have the roundabout and a cheaper britax one ---? freeway?? which both fit our accord and accura well. Only once in 14 months of use have the straps twisted and it was really my fault that time. I :love my britax carseats. If I can't get my kid in it correctly I don't care how safe it is, kwim? and honestly...if my kid's not happy with her carseat/view/etc. I have to stop all the darn time and it costs me time. time is money IMO.

peppermint --->good job vibes <---- to you.

[indie]

For the carseat, shop around. We found dd a Roundabout for 50% off which makes it about the same as the cheaper seats. You might find a good deal somewhere.

[Autumnschild]

Hi, hope you don't mind if I join this thread! I have some debt issues popping up. A few years back, I was married and living in Miami Beach. We both had a good income, so CC debt was no big deal. Well, we got divorced. I was foolish enough to let him keep everything, and I got stuck with CC bills for things I don't even have! When we divorced, I moved to Idaho and lived as simply as possible. I made enough to keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge, but that was it. It was enough for me. Unfortunately, the creditors nailed me as soon as my payments no longer on time, and late charges, finance charges and overlimit charges, etc started piling up. Within 2 years I owed twice as much. This town has really poor economy, and I have not been able to make enough to catch up. I couldn't file for bankruptcy because I had left all of our financial records with my ex, whom I no longer speak with. Eventually, I became pregnant and am now a married SAHM with 2 children. I am now being sued by my creditors. I have to appear in court in November and I am so afraid they are going to drag my current husband into this! We don't make much and we live very frugally, so I can't afford for them to take anything from us. I would love to get out of debt, but don't know where to begin.

[Peppermint]

Sheri-

So sorry to have to welcome you to this thread, no one wants to be here- but it is so good for all of us to have the support.

I have no idea what happens when one gets to the point you are at. Is there any way to work with the creditors at this point? Can you make a payment plan with them, or are they past that point with you?

Is there any kind of work you can do from home to help make some extra cash to put toward the debt? Is there anything else in your budget you can cut? Do you have a cell phone? cable TV? internet service that you pay for? are you using disposable diapers?

The biggest lesson for me in all of this is that I CANNOT AFFORD certain things that I think I should be able to afford (ie- the cable TV)- b/c I am in DEBT! As long as I have bills that are unpaid-- I have no money for extras- I still owe someone money---the credit card companies.

It sucks being in debt- we all know that- but we really all have had to "get real" and realize that we have to get ourselves out- it is only going to get worse--it will not go away on it's own, and won't go away without hard work from us, paid work sometimes, frugality other times--for me- both.

I have a friend (newly made friend) and she and her dh have twice the credit card debt that we have- they are a good 20 years older than us too-- they never "got it" at my age, and I am guessing they will probably never be able to retire from paid work, will never have anything to live off of, and may always be in debt, it is really sad. I am thankful to be getting us out of it now and learning this lesson now. The debt simply won't go away and will get worse.

Others have suggested it repeatedly- I haven't read the whole thing yet- only the online summary--but- you should check your library for Your Money or Your Life, some here can testify to the changes it made in their thinking about money matters.



On to talking about me :). Dh got a new job- he is currently making $38,000 and we are paying about $8,000 a year into health insurance. At the new job, he has been offered $35,000 with health insurance included, but it does not kick in for 3 months, so- when he starts the new job- we will be having less money per month than we have right now- which is just scraping by :eyesroll . So- I need to really kick into gear and make up that money somehow- and manage Christmas without spending money (wish me luck on that). I am going through my closet today to find clothes to sell on ebay, and going to get to painting some new stuff for sale as well. The Blessing to all of this is that Dh will have a job where he is not treated like garbage daily. We had both wished/dreamed/hoped for more money with the new job- but I think God really wants us to learn this debt lesson without any shortcuts, and He is right (always is- right? ;)). One other thing though- dh does have another interview at another place today- so- there is still that chance that he will get an even better job--but we are trying to just be happy that he got the job he did and not get our hopes up. :)

And a GOOD note- ds's birthday was yesterday- I bought him a $5 toy that he LOVES :love - dh bought him a $13 fireman work shirt and dd bought him (with our money) an $8 toy. I think we did really well. OK- to be perfectly honest- I also bought him $1 of playdoh at the dollar store and gave him a book from my Usborne inventory. Still- I think we did really well :).

Anyone have GOOD news to report?

[mmace]

Kerc - regarding wireless/long distance...

I was paying for an AT&T long distance plan - something like $4.99 per month, 5 cents a minute any time of day, but when the bill came, with taxes and fees, it was always $10 - $12 per month, and I was using very little long distance. I went to Sam's Club and bought a prepaid phone card and called and cancelled my long distance service. The card from Sam's was 800 minutes for $22something - so I am paying less than three cents a minute for long distance now, with no fees, no bill to pay.

It's the little things that add up!

[kerc]

i just got my csa preserving share of broccoli -- a paper grocery bag full for 10 bucks. :banana. Into the freezer it goes tomorrow. Too bad the freezer's now full of yummy veggies -- no room for spendy ice cream.

I've had a mildly stressful week at work. Ok major emotional stress. Not changing jobs or anything, but just the baggage that comes with my job. Anyhow I managed to do very well on not snacking at the vending machines -- I spent 1.15 this evening, but that was it all week. This is a big victory for me I am very proud of myself.

We are swapping babysitting this weekend. Sat afternoon We're going to stay home and work on our basement remodeling while my dd plays at our friends house. then I'll go over there sat night and watch their kids while they go on their date. I'm leaving dd and dh at home -- he will put her to bed and then *hopefully* get some more painting done on the basement. (all the parts are already bought, we just need to finish it).

In the course of the basement project I realized that my sewing stash was overflowing my bin, so I am in the midst of selling/trading some of it. That won't bring in a ton of cash, but rather than sit there forgotten forever, I'd prefer a bit of cash.

[Autumnschild]

I consider myself an expert at living frugally. I exchange babysitting with a friend once a week. We don't have cable, cell phones, long distance service, etc. I do use cloth instead of disposable diapers. Wipes too. I shop second hand, and at the dollar stores and discount grocery outlets. We conserve water and electricity as much as possible, and try to use firewood instead of gas heat in the winter. I take my DD to the library for movies and books instead of buying or renting. We don't use the car much due to gas prices. I've given up all of the extras except for the internet...which I pay $9.95/month for. This is my link to the outside world most days, and I need it for the sake of my sanity. :nut

And still, we're broke. But this is my sacrifice so that I can stay home with my two little girls. I've really had to weigh it out and my decision is to stay with them while they are babies until they are old enough to fend for themselves in the world (daycare/preschool). I would love to stay home even then, and possibly homeschool them, but the debts do need to be paid, and contact with others in the adult world probably wouldn't be such a bad thing.

The best thing would be to WAH, but I need ideas. I have a sewing machine, but am still teaching myself to sew. I'm creative and organized but a really crappy salesperson. Any ideas, moms?

[AuntRayRay]

I second the request for WAH ideas! :) :)

RayRay-

[kerc]

i haven't been there in a looooong time, but have ya'll checked the wahm board for ideas? (sorry no time to search for you right now, I'm at my woh job and need to get busy!).

[3 little birds]

I just wanted to post this link for info on credit, credit scoring, credit counseling services and related subjects. There is alot of good information there that I did not see in other places.
http://www.bayhouse.com/index.shtml

[newmainer]

I am so frustrated. We came home from a fun- albeit tiring- day at the great Common Ground Country Fair here (awesome agricultural/sustainable living fair) to a notice from the IRS stating that I owe 636.00 in back taxes from 2000!! Ugh. I am so pissed. I thought we were doing well... in fact, yesterday we received a $150 rebate from one of our appliances we bought in the remodel and i am planning on immediately putting it in the bank then writing a check to our lowest cc balance. Though there is tons of other stuff we need that i could get with that, i decided makign do without just needs to happen right now.

i just have that feeling again of when the hell will this *ever* end? Plus, my whole sewing venture is costing way more money than making any. granted it is the start of the season, but everytime i buy fabric i groan.

sigh.

[Peppermint]

newmainer- oh- that just stinks.

In my past attmepts to get out of debt it was situations like that that got me so discouraged that I "gave up" so to speak, felt like I'd never get ahead, or get out of the debt. Is there any way you can spread out the paying of the back taxes? Is there a date it all has to be paid by?

No matter what- keep plugging along- don't give up, and don't get too discouraged.

[Autumnschild]

I'm paying off some back taxes through a payment plan, but those are to the state of Idaho. But I'm pretty sure you can do that. (They'd rather get some money than none at all).

My short term plan is coming together. Dh gets a raise next month. He'll also be eligible for health insurance for the family, so that's probably where the extra money will go to. At the beginning of next year, our mortgage payments should be going down. We had to pay a load of property taxes this year because we forgot to sign the exemption papers this last year. :duh New homeowners! So, I'll be able to start making payments on the current debt that my DH and I have.

As far as my own debt from my previous marriage, well, I have a plan in the works for that too. My sister is moving here and we are going to be starting a daycare/preschool together. I had my own daycare for a year, but didn't have any help so I got no breaks. This will be different. I just need to get recertified. No problem. This plan is pretty dependent on when she gets here, because I won't do it alone again.

Anyway, having a plan is just the beginning, but already, I feel better.

[Glittergal]

ugh just lost a long post and now, you-know-who, is awake from her nap!

[kerc]

newmainer -->in order to really change our mentalities I think it needs to be long term. I see several successes in your story here - first that you got the rebate check at all vs. not filing for the rebate. second that you haven't already mentally spent it (or actually spent it) on something new.

fabric -- i am on a fabric fast and have been trying to sell fabric online bc I just have too much. We are remodeling the closet where it lives and i realized (a) how dumb is it that I have a fabric stash -- i.e. $ tied up in fabric I might never even use. not a problem for me if it is one of a kind stuff, but I'm talking mm fleece here. i can get that at a store in town, in minneapolis or online and have it the next day. (b). my sewing is not happening right now due to work and the remodeling -- so I've got supplies for a craft I am not doing.....dumb huh?

as far as daycare -- I couldn't do it. I like my kid and all, but I'd hate being kinda pinned to my home. (and i'd flip out if my dcp were hauling my child all over town).

[Autumnschild]

as far as daycare -- I couldn't do it. I like my kid and all, but I'd hate being kinda pinned to my home. (and i'd flip out if my dcp were hauling my child all over town).

Exactly what I mean when I say I won't be doing it alone again. I was totally stuck at home. If my sis and I do it together, then we can split the days in half. Spend a few hours with the kids, then doing my own thing. I didn't have anyone to give me the breaks I needed last time, and that's why I stopped doing daycare altogether. I'm apprehensive about starting again, but really, that was the only problem I had with it.

[Peppermint]

Daycare- IME the parents and the child you are working for make all of the difference. I did daycare in the past and it sucked, I was stuck in the house (or at the house, I did go outside to play) all day.

Now- I babysit a 5 yo whose mom is a friend, and his dad is too I guess, they are super laid back and very confident in my abilities. They WANT there child being in a real family setting, I take all the kids(my kids and the boy I watch) to the beach, the zoo, the bank, the PO, the grocery store, etc., he is truly just like another child in the family, and it is great. Granted you couldn't do that if you take in a bunch of kids and many are young. If I had to send my dc to daycare, I would want them to be with someone who took them everywhere, just like he/she were one of their own children. I wouldn't leave my child with someone who I didn't trust to drive them around town, YK?

My point is, if you can find the right parents/child and take in just one or 2 kids, it can be really great.

[newmainer]

thanks. i'm feeling better. and, kerc, you are right. there have been rebates that i haven't bothered to fill out at all. but i find that my mentality is not necessarily a set thing yet... for example, i bought yarn at the fair for a sweater for my daughter. not cheap, and its not like i have tons of time to knit either, but i was like, "oh, its the common ground fair and it only happens once a year and this woman spins her own.." yada, yada, yada. and i come home to a f*&^%^g back tax bill! dd better like that sweater! (and i better not make a gazillion mistakes on it- lol...) so, i guess one step forward, two steps back sometimes.

[kerc]

deep breath, i just placed an ad in the local paper to sell our 2nd car. we don't really need it, but it is a pain in the rear for us to be a 1 car family. we need it about 2-3 x a month and those days are a pain, but...we need the cash more. Someone please call soon before we change our minds.

[Peppermint]

Kerc-

I hope someone does call soon. Will selling the car make a big dent in your debt? I have considered (before dh got his new job which is a 35 min. drive) going down to one car- and driving him to and from work, but selling a 98 escort with 100,000 miles doesn't really make one much money :LOL.

I have plans to get my closet cleaned out this week(inspired by another thread here) and sell a bunch of clothes on ebay. I am also going to sell dd's clothes which I had been hanging onto in hopes of another girl someday.

[bamboogrrrl]

Peppermint: Don't forget, if you sell one car, you'll also save on insurance and repairs in addition to your sale price, so you'll save more than you think. BTW, we got rid of two of dh's junkers this year by donating the cars fo our local "Vehicle Donation" program, and we got a nice donation receipt.

We are about to take on MORE debt. Sigh. Not my idea, but dh needs a new shop for his business. His rental is being sold for a song, but it's currently a hazardous waste site due to gas tanks in the ground - too dicey a purchase IMO. We have two acres at our house, zoned general commercial, so he's barn shopping. The bummer of it all is that he's known for the past 18 months that this was going to happen. I came up with a bazillion proactive ideas (I'm such a planner!), which he ignored. NOW he wants help. I told him that I would appreciate him taking the reigns on this project, I'll help, but I can't make it happen. So he's hit the ground running this week. He found out that we do NOT need a new survey or a variance (major savings, to the tune of about $3K), that pole barns may have better property tax implications than a regular barn. Yea for dh!

Truth be told, the whole thing makes my fillings hurt, because I'm working so hard to pay down our mortgage, am loathing my job, and this project is definitely two steps backward. Anyway, I got dh to agree to do this in stages over a couple of years. Get the building up to get everything under cover first, have electric be a second stage, a road to the building be a third stage, so that all the costs don't hit at once, and we can work our butts off to pay this ASAP. The upside is that the barn will be two stories, and the upstairs will be divided in half, and I'll get to use it as an art studio (an incentive from DH to get me on board I think!). Not that I really need this, but it IS kind of nice.

The challenge of the whole project is to keep costs down without being "pennywise, pound foolish." I also want to make sure we're keeping our investment reasonable, so we can get the money back easily when we sell someday, especially if the housing market ever tanks.

I hate taking on more debt...

[kerc]

we owe about 8000 bucks on this car. so yes, it makes a huge difference. it also is insurance, gas, repairs, potential tickets for forgetting to move it to the other side of the road (we have an alternate side weekly parking law in duluth. gotta snowplow somehow!).

[sm3247]

kerc -
good luck on the car sale. We were a one car family for several years. It was certainly more convenient to have a second car, but it's much more expensive than the price of the car when you factor in insurance, registration, and costs of running the car.

[kerc]

kelly, I haven't forgotten about your pm. I just want a clean space to haul my stuff out to see what I've got. But maybe check out the thread in sewing and crafts on trading mm fleece.


debt reduction plan --> last night we had a friend over to help install some laminate flooring. I was saying that I cancelled our cell phone ($40 per month) and we were considering getting rid of our second car and were looking at ways of cutting back further. He laughed and said "there's no way you can live without two cars. what if you want to go to the mall (no buses there) and dh is at the library." I laughed and thought obviously i could just wait to go to the mall. My how my perception of my needs has changed.

[Indigo73]

Well, after a lot of soul searching, researching and family pow wows - we've decided to refinance our house. Consolidating my student loans, minor CC debt and outrageous car payment into a low rate mortgage. The good thing is that we are going to be able to wipe out a ton of junk lingering on our credit reports, the bad thing is we will be back at owing for 30 years. But the mortgage is going to be almost the same payment and we will not have a car payment or student loans. Thus allowing us to put 3-5K a year on the principle and boosting our credit scores almost instantaneously.

Other good news, I have a major raise starting next Friday and we've got $$ going straight into my dh's and ds' savings accounts from my dh's paycheck, starting next Friday as well.

Lastly I found DSL service for $5 less a month, pretty much giving us a free month a year. Nice.

[Peppermint]

Indigo- How great that will be to have all of that in one payment- and yay on the raise and putting in direct savings! I know some say that refinancing to consolidate is not a GOOD idea, but if I could do that and have the credit card game be over- I would do it. :)

[newmainer]

indigo, i think that sounds great. i totally want to do that when we reappraise our house sometime before february. but since we will have only owned it a year, i am not sure that the value went up enough for us to pull any more equity out to pay off cards etc... maybe the year after. its the only way i think we're going to be able to get this junk paid off.

we did, however, switch our lowest card to a 0% interest card until 12/05. my goal is to pay it off by dec of this year, but i think that's pretty far reaching unless my business really starts to take off, which is always possible. of course, while i have been trying to get my website up, i discovered that someone else has almost an identical name, selling (different) baby gear and advertising in all the same places. sooo, i'm out $35 on a domain name and $17 in labels :angry. so frustrating. at least its tax deductible.

and this was a thought process mine today: dd needs new slippers. i could order nice ones from LL Bean for $14... *or* i could see if there are some at the used store for about $3.00... *or* i could make her a pair (since i have a ton of fleece) and get some puffy paint to make the bottoms non-slip for about $2.00! Getting better... i even brought hot chocolate to my knitting playgroup this a.m because it was the only thing i could make w/o spending money. baby steps!!

[kerc]

i even brought hot chocolate to my knitting playgroup this a.m because it was the only thing i could make w/o spending money. baby steps!!


knitting playgroup? how do i find myself one of those? everyone I know is so amazed I can do stuff like knit, sew and can food.

[Peppermint]

newmainer :thumb GREAT work on thinking through the slippers and with the hot chocolate! :)

I said I was going to clean out my closet this week and sell clothes on ebay- but I haven't yet :eyesroll , well, hopefully tomorrow :).

[newmainer]

thanks!! :D I felt pretty good about it myself.

i am going yardsaling tomorrow, but have a very specific list of things. i have found some great deals lately, but am really trying to stay focused on what we *need.*

dh tallied up his incoming work, and it looks like there will be enough to cover basic expenses so that we can allocate all the money from one good size contract to debt reduction. what a relief it will be to finally see those numbers going down in some way.

peppermint... is it really worth it to see clothes on ebay (this is a real, not rhetorical question). How much can you get for used items? is there a good market for it?

[Peppermint]

peppermint... is it really worth it to see clothes on ebay (this is a real, not rhetorical question). How much can you get for used items? is there a good market for it?

Brand names at popular sizes- YES! It's kind of like buying and selling diapers on there (or here). High end stuff I don't even know about (with clothes and diapers) but stuff like Gap (or kissaluvs ;) ) sells really well. So- if you buy used from there, then re-sell after they are outgrow (as I have been known to do with diapers), you end up only paying a bit more than shipping for the clothes. I buy the kids clothes in lots to reduce shipping costs, like last week I bought dd a bunch of Gap jeans from there, Gap kids jeans last really well, and dd doesn't wear out a lot, so I figure I'll be able to re-sell most of those next year.

Name brands like Gap, Old Navy, Osh Kosh, Carters all do well for kids (I am sure hanna anderson does too- but I can't afford that ;)).


As for GOOD news we are entering a few months of uncertainty with budget as dh starts a new job, the benefits don't start for 3 months, so we will be paying $750 a month instead of the $600 we have been paying, and he will actually be bringing home less, I am a bit scared but determined not to have this take us off track. I am going to need the support here more than ever :).

[kerc]

hanna stuff on ebay is affordable soemtimes...at least when it actually is bought by me! I get frustrated with selling stuff on ebay because I don't have a postage scale. I think if I did it more then I'd fork over the 40 bucks to get one. That way you can estimate postage very effectively and not have to make 2 trips to the post office.

I've gotten a lot of erins winter stuff - llbean snowsuit for instance -- on ebay. I think people buy that stuff, use it once and then sell it. Which is great for me -- we need 2 snowsuits because sometimes one is still wet from the snow when we go back outside to play.

[sm3247]

I'm so impressed with people who are good at buying used clothes. I've never had much luck with e-bay. Everything seems much more worn than I expect. I have bought a few t-shirts, etc. from thrift stores and garage sales too but I still have a hard time finding decent clothes without spending hours and hours digging through the wrong stuff.

I have the most luck buying retail at end of season sales. I can find kids' clothes for $2-3 or less at places like Gymboree, Gap, and especially department stores. I also sometimes buy winter coats/etc. from lands end overstocks for a reasonable price. I worked at a Kids R Us in high school so I know how low the prices will go if you buy at the right time. Adult clothes are the same way, you just have to know when to look and how long to wait.

kerc - I especially appreciated the comment from your friend. What could possibly be at the mall that can't wait until your DH comes home from the library? Having one car is certainly less convenient, but I think people who have "mall emergencies" have their priorities screwed up.

[Autumnschild]

nak
I used to be great at second-hand clothing shopping...before I had my 2nd child. Now it's much harder to browse, and it does require a lot of time to dig up quality stuff. I especially miss yard sales, but it's too much hassle to get the kids in out in out of the car, ya know? Next summer when the baby's older, I'll leave them with DH and hit the yard sales alone.

I haven't tried buying clothing on ebay yet...only diapers and I do get great deals on those. I also plan to sell them after they've been outgrown. We have a new/gently-used baby consignment shop opening up here in town and I plan to buy/sell/trade there also. (We had one before and I was so disappointed when they closed).

As far as GOOD, I have another option opening up. DH is talking about selling the house and finding another. Maybe we can work some of this debt into our mortgage and just have one payment each month. I'll have to look into it. I've heard of people getting second mortgages for this reason, but I really don't know what I'm talking about until I get more info...

It will be good to move. I love this house but the neighbors are rotten! I can't believe how much unprovoked hostility they have shown to us and our pets. Until lately DH was talking about adding on to make enough room for all of us, but now we can think about just getting a bigger place (out of town so I can have my own garden, chickens, etc.) It will be a nace change.

[A&A]

Well, as you can tell from reading this thread and other threads, there are advantages and disadvantages to rolling your cc debt into your mortgage. Remember that your mortgage means your house is on the line--don't get your payment so high (because of your other debt) that you can't pay it and lose the house.
Also make sure that you don't get "upside down" -- meaning that you owe more on your house than it is worth.

The only advantage, I think, is getting a bigger tax break. We thought about a second mortgage but decided against it.

[newmainer]

here is the October thread- come join!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=202150