the first German, then

[Snugglebugsmom]

How neat that Germany has its own forum here. I loved reading all the posts so far.
I'm German, but married to an American. So I live in the US (Arizona), and raising our 3 children. They have not been exposed to very much German yet. This Christmas will be the first one they'll spend in Germany. It's been 6 years since I was last there, so I'm very excited about this trip. I was born in Wolfsburg and spend part of my childhood there. My parents have since relocated to Baden-Baden. I've been there before but have never considered it "home". Then again, I'm "homeless" anyway. I've lived in too many different places.
I just weaned my almost 5-year old, so extended nursing is definitely something we do. I'm still nursing my 20-months old, so we'll see how that will be received in Germany. I'm upset about American views about this as well, though. My parents just came for a visit and while I was at the airport discreetly nursing my baby, a female American Security officer asked me to stop nursing because she didn't think it was appropriate behavior since young children pass through the airport... (I'm still steamed about this). I was so angry about this that I called America a "backwards" country... (just blowing off steam). It can't get much worse than that (I hope).
I also use cloth diapers and I homeschool. Yes, homeschooling is illegal in Germany. For that reason alone I'm happy to be living in the US. My family has gotten used to the idea of my homeschooling. They understand my reasons for doing so and are very supportive. We also co-sleep. My mother has never really understood that, but she accepts it just fine.
It was wonderful having my mother here if only for a short week. I think she has a far more relaxed attitude about going out with children than many Americans here. For example, if we'd go to a Bank, my American husband would hold our toddler in his arms and not let her down for fear of her running all over the place and causing a ruckus. My mother on the other hand would let the toddler walk around and be happy, while at the same time following her around everywhere to make sure she didn't get into any trouble. So, I'm not sure, but it seems to me that perhaps Germans are more relaxed about going out with kids in public?? Well, I'll see the differences for myself when I go to Germany in little over 2 months. :-)
I could go on for hours, but I'll stop myself. ;-)
Ina
Christopher, 7
Annika, 4
Lillian, 20 months

[velochic]

My best friend (married to a bavarian) just had a girl and named her Annika! Her little boy, Andreas is my daughter's true love right now. :)

I've been told that Bavarians are more conservative than Germans. Do you feel this is true? Because living in Munich, just like living in the US, I've found that these AP ideas are NOT well received. I agree... the AP community is not in the majority in either country. The Bavarian mothers I talk to often say that they either co-sleep or side-car their babies, but in all honesty, I've not heard of any co-sleeping past 6 months (because it's "normal" to wean at 6 months, I guess).

I'd appreciate any more thoughts you have on AP attitudes from a German point of view. It would really help me. By the way, my LLL group is an English-language group (I'm not an active leader here, just another "mom" because I'm doing web-help for International, by the way) so most of the mothers are either 1. Not German (or Bavarian) or 2. Have a spouse from another culture/country. Perhaps I'm not seeing the whole picture. Being an American in Germany, it's nice to hear the other side of the story from a German in America.

I will say, I'm loving the fact that "crunchy, organic, recycling, don't waste a single resource" is the norm here.

[Ekatherina]

Sorry i don''t think i belong to this thread at all...:hide: but some comments cought my attention....
[QUOTE=Snugglebugsmom]. My parents just came for a visit and while I was at the airport discreetly nursing my baby, a female American Security officer asked me to stop nursing because she didn't think it was appropriate behavior since young children pass through the airport... (I'm still steamed about this). I was so angry about this that I called America a "backwards" country... (just blowing off steam). It can't get much worse than that (I hope). [QUOTE=Snugglebugsmom].
:rant: :hopmad :hopmad :hopmad :hopmad
that is unbelievable...although so easy to believe it can happen these days....breast feeding is considered "abnormal" and bottle-feeding with "God knows what" inside the bottle totally "normal"....

[Snugglebugsmom]

Velochic - Oh, a fellow LLL leader! Same here. :-) Perhaps I can find a group meeting to attend while I'm in Germany. Either language would be fine with me.
I can totally see that in Germany babies are weaned at 6 months. I'm pretty sure that solids are started very early on over there. My mother always talks to me about starting solids way before the 6-months-mark. In fact, when my first was born, she thought I should introduce him to apples at 6 weeks! Plus, I've seen the baby food they sell there, and the recommended ages printed on them are way young. My mother and I did get into some arguments about this, since neither one of my daughters were interested in solid foods before 12 months! So we tend to skip the "baby food stage" and go straight to normal foods. When my mother was here she was surprised at how much my 20-months old daughter could chow down! And really, there are no foods that are off limits to her now. I couldn't resist pointing out to my mother that there are no ill effects from letting a baby decide when to start solids, as long as it breastfeeds on demand. Our next thing is potty training. My mother claims that mothers in Germany start potty training their babies from 1 year on. Perhaps it was like this in the 70's, when she had my brother and I, and maybe that's no longer the norm. I don't know. In America it's not like this. Diaper manufacturers here even came out with bigger size diapers.
I also like how you recycle everything in Germany. Sure, it can be a pain, but at least it's for a good reason. Recycling is not seen as very important here.
Ina
Christopher, 7
Annika, 4
Lillian, 20 months

[Snugglebugsmom]

Ekatherina - Oh, I appreciate your support! :-) I woke up early this morning because I couldn't sleep because I just keep thinking about my experience at the Airport. I want to write them a letter and also want to make sure that I word it right. It's been tricky getting in touch with their Head of Security...
Something in your signature caught my attention! You are planning a homebirth in Japan? I actually grew up in Japan! Tokyo, to be more precise. I'm not your average German, I've lived abroad from when I was a young child. I lived in Tokyo for 10 years. First in Hatanodai, then in Higashi-Magome, and lastly in Den-en-chofu. I attended Sacred Heart (an international school) in Hiro-o for my last 4 years of high school.
Good Luck with your baby's birth! You must be getting impatient now!
Ina :-)
Christopher, 7
Annika, 4
Lillian, 20 months

[Ekatherina]

Snugglebugsmom, I would do the same thing with poeple at the airport...we can't just pretend some things "didn't happen" because when we things just get worse and worse...such sacred act as breastfeeding (needless to say basic for life also) is considered shameful!! If you do write them a letter, please add my anger to it... :rant:
I am always so happy to meet poeple who have multinational lives like me...:) there is this "no home" feeling i guess that makes us a little similar...:) wow 10 years in Japan!!! i envy you so much because you must know kanji so well....I actually live in Sapporo, Hokkaido....I was born in Moscow, Russia and lived there for 14 years....my mother is Russian and my father is Lebanese...then we moved to Lebanon where I lived for another 12 years....after that i decided to go and study in Japan....and now im having this baby here at home with a very very nice mw (70-years-old)....i actually don;t understand japanese very well yet...but its ok...
i told my dh about u yesterday...and the airport story...he said that maybe here in Japan its even worse...:( i never saw anyone breastfeeding yet....it may be a problem ...i guess the reacher is the country less natural poeple become....I hope Germany will be less artificial in that way...i have heard in Norway (if im not wrong) there is 95% breatfeeding...!! but i don't know about the rest of europe...good luck to you...!! and so nice you were nursing till the age of 5...wow i hope i have so much milk..... :innocent

[ostara]

Snuglebugsmom, I can't believe what happened to you at the airport while nursing your child!! It is outragious! :angry :angry
I would write to the airport security agency and complain.

A while ago, we traveled within Germany and went to a autobahn restaurant. I nursed my daughter in a section dedicated to families. There were 5 other mothers with their young babies, all got their bottle. That surprised me, because I was under the impression that German mothers do nurse their babies longer than in America. Sometimes I nurse my DD in a quiet place in public. I always get lovely smiles from other mothers and curious looks from children and yes, teenage boys. People are familiar with the sight.

Ekatherina, good luck with your home birth! :baby

[Snugglebugsmom]

Hmm, judging from the surprise my German family has expressed about my extended nursing, I don't think it's all that common in Germany. Maybe more mothers nurse newborns? But I doubt many nurse toddlers. Or preschoolers. Or Kindergartners... lol. It should be so interesting when I go on my trip. I truly cannot wait! :-)
Ina
Christopher, 7
Annika, 4
Lillian, 20 months

[behr]

Well, I don't think extended nursing is very common over here. I read a few years ago in the very wellknown magazine GEO that women should wean at 3 months to avoid baby's exposure to toxins...
I feel now the standart weaning age is between 6 months and 1 year of age, and a lot of women are pressured by their moms to introduce solids very early. This is just my experience down in the South though.
Since I pretty openly nurse a 3 yo I get a lot of funny looks, but I've also noticed some women around me nursing their babies longer.
To me it seems that the objective here is to increase babies and kids' independance, and also to avoid doing things differently from everyone else around.
However, people are not scared of a boob, as some Americans are, so there's a lot more tolerance and nursing in public basically a non-issue.

[stellasmami]

Wow, I somehow just stumbled onto this forum! I am an American living in Switzerland (very close to Germany). I have an 8 month old dd and we nurse in public all the time no problem whatsoever...it is also not uncommon to see women nursing their babies here, and people do seem more open in general and look more in wonder or awe of a new baby if they are watching me nurse (at least this is how i interpret it) once dd was really hungry and anxious to eat and we sat down at an outdoor cafe and she started grunting and naking all this funny noise when she started nursing...and a man laughed like he understood ;) it was really funny...in the US people might have been grossed out :eyesroll there is a great support system thru the hospital and the nurses/midwives really know what their doing...they pretty much assume you will nurse and do not ff babies in the meanwhile while the milk still isn't in, etc...they are just very informed, knowledgable, proactive in treatments, etc... perhaps this is different from Germany? My dd's ped. is also very pro-bfing as well... I have also noticed that children have a certain extent of more physical freedom here and think it is a good thing. And tho I have gotten the 'You're still nursing' comments (at 4 months!) I really don't believe that is the norm by any means....

glad to see everyone here!

S,-