Joey, my just turned 3 year old, has been very challenging since he was born. Colicky as a baby, now extremelly stubborn as a toddler/preschooler. Normally happy, but can get really anal very fast. And he doesnt take crap from anyone. He once bit his older brother's toe so bad he drew blood because Michael was trying to stick his foot in his face.

Anyways, I am having such a hard time getting him to listen in stores. I usually made them sit in the basket, but when Michael started school, I thought it mighjt be fun to let him walk next to me and help me shop. Big mistake.

He refuses to sit in the basket anymore, and will not walk next to me. He tries to shop by taking everything he sees off the shelves, and throws a tantrum when I say "Joey, we dont need that.. here, why dont you put this in the cart?"

The other day was humiliating, I went to get some pictures copied to send to the inlaws, and of course the photos got jammed in the machine. I stood there for over 20 minutes waiting for the staff to sort it out, and meanwhile Joey was showing his butt! Standing in the middle of the Isle, if I tried to move him out of the way he would try to lay down there, crawling under the cart, taking things off the shelf and dropping them on the floor. After several threats to go in time out, and bribes to play the games if he would just stop doing what it was he was doing, I just picked him up and put him back in the cart. As soon as I put him in he let his legs go limp and fell back, hitting his head. Of course he started screaming, and peope stopped and stared. It totally looked like I had thrown him into the cart. it's a good thing I dont spank because I wanted to let him have it!

And this is an everyday thing, out in puiblic and at home. He wants to do what he wants, and if I dont want him to do it, there are tantrums, he even hits me! I just dont know what to do anymore. Michael never did that. And just leaving the store is not an option, it is a 40 minute drive and I really cannot afford the gas to come back at a later time, and my DH is no help because he is gone during the week. :( Help!

This will probably be moved to the GD forum, but just wanted to let you know my first ds was like this (and he is FINE at 16.) It must be challenging to have an older child at the same time you are trying to deal with your very different younger son.

I really did try to plan my trips out around when he would be well rested, well fed and more likely to be content. I kept trips out as short as possible and sometimes we just had to leave the store ( not very often.) I tried to tell him what was "coming" like first we will go to the store, then next we will go to the post office and then we will go home. Always letting him know what was coming and trying to keep the number of places we went to a minimum.

My dh was gone alot and not available, so I know how hard that can be. :Hug TB

what you wrote could easily have been written about my 3.5 yo ds!!
Oh, I know the challenge soooo well!
I don't have a lot of advise, because I am still figuring out the best techniques as well...
I did post a thread a while back in The Childhood Years forum, titled "Help! My son is driving me nuts!" Perhaps you could do a search for it. There were some great responses...
The things that work best for us is making sure his blood sugar is stable: low sugar diet, low gluten diet, frequent meals and snacks, protien based meals... no juices, soda, or candy...
plenty of outdoor activities, frequent exercise, including him in what I am doing (cleaning, cooking, shopping, caring for baby, etc), posative reinforcement and attention, not reacting to his tantrums and offensive behavior...
hang in there!

Moving this to The Childhood Years...

Sounds like my ds when he's eaten somehting he's allergic to. Some days I'd like to string him up and beat him like a pinata... :irked:

How's your ds's diet? What does he eat? Fruit roll ups type stuff, lots of apples, oranges, berries, anything like that? Max has major problems w/ dyes, artificial flavors, preservatives (which are OFTEN not listed in the ingredient list - I'm talking stuff like cereal, not just a boxed mac & cheese dinner), and DEFINITELY to fruits/veggies with high salicylates like apples and berries.