Birthing Options

[kathywiehl]

What type of birth will you have? I know it's early in our pregnancies, but I'm just curious. I can't decide and midwifery is illegal here in AL, but that doesn't mean we won't hire a midwife. We are just weighing all of the options and I'm curious about what you all are doing.

[anatoliy24]

It's not illegal in Alabama, so certainly don't give up looking for one pr feel like you're evading the law. I found an older thread on this from a couple months back:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/archive/index.php/t-153033.html

There's even a link in that thread on where to hook up with midwives in Alabama.

Hope this helps

[kathywiehl]

Thanks, but it really is illegal for a midwife to catch a baby- unless they are licensed in the state of Alabama. Since Alabama doesn't give out new licenses to midwives, none of them can legally deliver a baby. That is why I say it's illegal. The law says they can do it if they are licensed, but they won't license anyone.

It's a bunch of garbage actually. There are lay midwives here, one of whom was arrested a few years ago. At one point, there were some in town legally, but the practice was shut down and they were basically run out of town. It really sucks! I have heard some horror stories here too, like if you try to leave the hospital AMA- you can't take your baby because the baby is a ward of the state until the doctor releases you both. So you can leave but not the baby. The hospitals here are so strict when it comes to heplocks, eye ointment, PKU testing, etc and they threaten to call authorities if you don't cooperate.

I had my last baby in a hospital with a midwife and the nurses didn't give me any trouble at all. But here, it's a different story. Unfortunately if I do decide to have a homebirth, and end up transferring to the hospital, I could be treated very poorly by the staff that I'm not sure that I want to risk it.

[4Marmalade]

My ideal option would be in the hosptial with a midwife but unfortunately, there are no midwives in my area so I am stuck with a family doctor who delivers. That's how it was with ds and things worked out fine. But this being my second I am hoping to be a bit more outspoken and be able to do/not do a few things I didn't first time around.

[aja-belly]

i'm gonna be in our NEW HOME with my midwife! i am so excited.

aja

[Awaken]

I voted birthing center. I wish it were home :) I would like nothing better than to stay right here and avoid that excruciating car ride and rest in my own bed afterwards. The mw's I use don't do hb, there is one hb mw practice around here but it is too far to travel for prenatal appointments with a toddler in tow.

[mclisa]

I have a great doctor who I know will listen to me. I'm going to deliver at the hospital where I've delivered my other 2 girls. It is just fabulous. It is very pro-breastfeeding and they ask you about your preferences. It has great nurses as well.

[Meli65]

Wow, Kathy, that stinks :irked:

We are planning a homebirth with a midwife. Ds was born at a birth center and it was delightful and if he were still in NJ I might go that route again (although I heard they weren't doing births there any more -- their insurance went way up :( )

Very excited about the homebirth option, though. I was surprised to learn that there are only three lay midwives in our rather large metropolitan area!

[cmili]

I love the doc and the hospital that delivered my son. I'm going the same route. Why mess with what works?

[Karennnnn]

The plan is to do a home birth with a midwife! I went the hospital route twice. C-section and then VBAC at the same place and both times weren't so hot. The first time I wrote a letter to them which resulted in an actual meeting between parties involved, the second time same kind of stuff happened but I didn't bother. I just vowed to never go back.
Had I never had these experiences, if I had a good hospital experience or even a mediocre one I'd probably do it there again. But what happened kind of fueled a quest for knowledge and then I realized how important birth is to me. I also realized it's not as important to other women. How that's so I have no idea but it's something I have to accept! I think it's something some of us just know, and with others we learn it by experience like with me.
I also can't imagine leaving my son for a night or two while I'm in the hospital! That would kill me!!!! The ultimate fantasy is to give birth, feel great, go to bed altogether without any whining or 4 year old behavior lol! I'm wondering now though if it might be a little hairy after the birth, the first night, the first week. Wondering if dh can handle it on his own when I really need to be in bed with a new baby. The anxiety of that weighs on me a little bit. In a way I'd like my little guy to wean his way into his own bed or be able to spend the night at his grandparents but then again I don't want him to subconsciously get the idea that he's being shooed aside so the next one can take his place in the bed and take the place at his boob!! So begins the journey!
We're moving to a bigger place in about a month and DH is already wanting to buy a new bed for my son. I'd like to as well but I'm all "Let's wait a few months!". After all it's really a symbolic gesture so he can see it and get used to it and eventually sleep there. I have no goals as far as that is concerned. I am planning on getting a co-sleeper so the bed remains the same for the most part.
Back to birthing..... The new house is an older but renovated home from 1910. There is a full bathroom on the main floor, but where we'll have our bedroom upstairs, there's a half bath. So much for convenience during labor if I want to do the tub or shower. I might end up giving birth in the living room. Nothing wrong with that! Give birth, watch Spongebob afterwards, everyone is happy :)
So anyway not what I'd consider ideal; I was hoping to have a full bath near our bedroom but women birth in the fields every day right?
I too don't relish the thought of driving to the hospital while in labor. Eeks. Nor do I like the thought of another induction. I swear one of my kids will choose their own birthday!!!
As odd as it sounds I'm grateful for the m/c I had because it showed me further proof that my body could start labor on its own and do it perfectly.
Um, I'm rambling.
Good night ladies!
Karen

[punkprincessmama]

We are planning a homebirth with an awesome midwife. Im so excited allready!! DD was born in a birthing center with a midwife and that was a great experience, but I'm ready for a homebirth this time :) Looking forward to just staying put, no packing, no driving...

[paniscus]

We are planning on a hospital birth with a mw. I wouldn't mind (and actually may enjoy) doing a home birth but I am undecided about the pain part. Since this is my first I really don't know how I will handle the pain. I would like to think I could do it natually but I am nervous that I will cave and want an epidural. So my indecision makes me think I will end up with an epidural because I feel you have to be totally dedicated to try it without pain relief. I am not one of those people that has to take medicine for every little thing. I hardly ever take any pain relief on any regular basis; HOWEVER, the second AF arrives I am popping an 800 mg Motrin. I thought I would try doing the m/c without medicine to see if I could do that but I caved. So I can kind of tell myself birth would be different than a m/c because I would have a baby at the end, kind of like working toward a goal instead of just passing the "products of conception." But I also feel like the pain associated with labor has got to be much worse than the pain from passing a blighted ovum!! Anyway, as you can see I am totally undecided as to how I will be with the pain so I would like to have the option of having some pain relief if I need/want it.

[Karennnnn]

Kathy,
There are a few things you might want to think about.
Of course you don't know what it's going to be like exactly, but in different environments, labor will feel very different.
If you are comfortable in a hospital, it may be irrelevant. However someone who hates doctors and hospitals or are apprehensive about them might have a more difficult time. Not only that but their labor might stall, kind of like how animals can stop their labor if they feel threatened, and move somewhere safe to proceed. Same with humans.
You might want to start with a birth center and then transfer if it gets to be too much for you.
In *most* cases your labor will be gradual; you won't have the same intense pain you have during transition for the duration of your labor.
The blighted ovum you passed, that's very much what it feels like to be in mid labor. Early labor in my opinion hurt a little less, it was like period cramping. And the first thing I did when I realized I was about to m/c was to pop a ton of ibuprofen. That's not the kind of thing you necessarily need to feel.
I've heard people say "Would you have a root canal without anesthesia???" Of course the answer is no, but labor is pain with a purpose. Not that it's a reason to go medication free, but I'm just saying, some people think you're nuts for NOT wanting one know what I mean?
I think it's one of those things where you cross that bridge when you come to it. You should be prepared and have already given yourself "permission" to throw in the towel when you're ready so you don't get angry with yourself or felt like you failed.
I would love to say that I think everyone should go natural, but that's not realistic. There are a million different scenarios when it comes to labor and everyone experiences them differently. I think as long as you make an informed decision that's the best thing you can do. Learn what labor could potentially feel like, learn the risks of doing it naturally and with the epidural.
I had one epidural birth and one natural. Granted the natural one was only 3 hours long, but I was so impressed with myself when I got up out of bed to go pee right afterwards.
You'll do what's right for you!!!!
Take care,
Karen

[twouglyducks]

I am planning a homebirth with a midwife. This will be a VBAC, so I really need to get in better shape and eat better, but it's really hard to do right now.

[mclisa]

Wow! That's alot of homebirthers!

[fuzzypeach]

I'm having my baby in the local hospital with their nurse-midwife.

I haven't met her yet but I hear she's great. The women's center at the hospital has its own entrance and is kind of seperate from the rest of the hospital for which I am very thankful.. I don't like hospital vibes: ( The place is only about two years old and is very nice.

I think next time around I'll have the baby at home or the local midwifery center, but I feel a bit nervous, this being my first birth and all, and I want to be at the hospital with doctors on hand... just in case.

Update: I met the nurse midwife and she is great! I feel so lucky that she is at my hospital.. I live in a very conservative state and even though my town is not so bad, I was worried about finding someone who had a similar birth philosophy. But so far she's wonderful: ) She's from Ireland and has the weeist bit of an accent which I find enchanting.

[NiksMom]

I will be delivering in a hospital with my new ob. I had gd last pregnancy plus DS was breech because I have a bicornate uterus, so he was born by a planned c-section.
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a homebirth, but at this point my goal is just for a natural birth! I am hoping that this babe will not be breech and that I can deliver naturally.

[~Nikki~]

I'll most likely be in the hospital with a doctor. I had hoped to have a midwife this time, and have the baby in a birthing centre, but unfortunatly the waiting list for midwives here is a mile long. Apparantly I should have made an appointment with them a year before getting pregnant, lol. I don't think that far ahead. :innocent

I wanted to have a doula last time, and am considering it this time, but I know that DH would be a little offended, thinking someone was taking over "his job." ;)

[kathywiehl]

A doula doesn't have to take over "his" job at all. She can teach him different techniques for soothing you, help you find different positions that he might not think of during labor, and remind the nurses what your birth plan is so that he can attend to you. She can run and get sandwiches for the two of you or bring supplies that maybe you haven't already thought of. A doula can do MANY things that you husband just isn't experienced enough to think of or know, no matter how much reading he has done. Well, unless he has been to 30-40 births in the past few years and had formal education, lol!

That is how I explained it to my husband- it's like having an expert there to teach us how to manage when we run out of our own knowledge.

[Meli65]

Re: doulas, it was another father who convinced dh and I to get a doula -- he said it made all the difference in the world and for us, it sure did! It was our first baby, so we had a ton of questions before and after, so she was great for that. Also, he was a wonderful support to me but he's never given birth before, so it makes sense that another mother might have a better idea of what to do to comfort a laboring woman -- and tell dh to do it if need be!

She also served as an advocate, whispering to me to tell the nurse not to put drops in the baby's eyes -- I told her to tell dh so he could do it instead. Plus, she rubbed my back while I was in the shower, and cleaned my poopy behind :eyesroll -- something I didn't particularly want dh to do!

[motherofthree]

I plan on another home water birth with my midwife/naturopathic physicians. I had an uncomplicated hospital birth with my eldest and a home water birth with my DS 9 months ago. Both went great and healthy. But there's nothing like being at home. It was not only convenient, but very comfortable. I didn't feel out of place. Definitely at home for the third (as long as all goes well of course)!

[Fluffhead]

Im in an uncomfortable bind.........and its breaking my heart!

First: My last two deliveries were complicated and traumatic. I had pre-eclampsia with both, and had i not been in the hospital the first time my daughter and I both would not be here today. :angry I had an easier pregnancy the second time around, but the delivery got complicated again, because every contraction resulted in my son's heartrate dropping ridiculously low. Turned out the cord was wrapped around his face. :angry HOWEVER, I really feel that had my DOCTOR taken better care of me during my pregnancy, this may not have resulted. I digress though, my fear here is this. Once I tell any midwife my history they are gonna send me packing back to a "doctor" and "hospital" and I just cant accept that. I will try tho.

Second: This pregnancy is very diff for the simple fact that the father/my DH was not the biological father (but he is the father in every sense of the word to my first two) of my first two. This pregnancy has been wonderful, everything looks great, and my BP has stayed normal. Why the sudden difference? Stress? I am not living with someone who degrades and disrespects me like i was the first two times, I am fortunate enough to be with a man now who treats me like a princess and takes every single feeling of mine seriously. I have to believe the course of THIS pregnancy will be different overall because the direction of it is not fueled by stress. So far that appears to be true.

Third: I am interveiwing doula's right now, so that no matter what, hospital or no hospital, I have an advocate who will make sure my desires and needs are met. I spent a great deal of time on a birth plan last time, gave it to my doctor and nurses, and found out later they didnt even read it until after i delivered. wtf? I am hoping a doula will at least bring me more control of MY pregnancy and delivery.

Lastly: I am going to still attempt to have a midwife at a birthing center. THat is going to be the most I can ask for this time around I think. If it all goes well, then when we have #4, perhaps I can be more proactive in finally fulfilling my dream of a home birth. :)

Time will tell.

If anyone knows anything about what i just described, two pregnancies that were complicated and difficult and finding a midwife willing to take me on, please share your advice, comments, etc.

Thanks for reading, if you still are. :love :love :love

[portside3seat]

Hospital with DOULA and doctor.
I LOVE my doula.

[westernskies]

removed

[Awaken]

Westernskies- sounds great!! What an adventure!

Marsupial- I'm so glad this pregnancy and your relationship with the baby's father is a happy one. I"m sure it will make a huge difference! Getting a doula sounds like and excellent idea- whether you are in a birth center or in the hospital it will be great to have an advocate and make sure you're birth plan is followed.