need suggestions re: funeral flowers for newborn

[dlb]

Hi guys--

My neighbor just called--last week her freinds baby girl was born with no kidneys and only lived for a little less than an hour. The funeral is Tues, and my freind wants to know what I would charge for flowers, as I do bouquets and have a large garden. Nothing, of course, thats what the flowers are there for, but I'm nervous about doing it nice enough--I don't have a commercial cooler, and its kinda the luck of the draw as to whats in bloom, ect. I also don't have alot of confidence in this area, I've done weddings in silks, but never a babies funeral. I want the mom and dad to be happy with the flowers, not feel like they "economized" with their baby. I can make really cool bouquets, but this is more pressure than I've ever dealt with. she hasn't spoken to the mom yet about this, I did tell her that I could deffinately provide the single roses for the service. I am also willing to donate any vases, ribbons, ect. and deliver ( she wants simple, no big wreaths or sprays).

Any suggestions? Any "garden be productive flowers don't wilt" vibes? I'm pretty sure I can do it, just really want it to be especially nice, and this kind of thing is important to me, as I feel the garden was provided for this kind of thing.

what kind of bouquets have any of you seen at baby funerals? Would it be tacky to have my neighbor take a "sample bouquet" to her when she visits and ask if she would like that? I know the family is having a hard time with funeral expenses, as they have other children and money is tight.

Help me with some ideas, please guys. I dont want to add to their pain.

dlb

[velveeta]

I just want to tell you that there is no way that the parents will be anything less than touched by your flowers. The wonderful and loving gift that you provide by arranging and creating the bouquets yourself will shine much more strongly than flowers from a commercial florist.

I promise you they will see that. You are so sweet, and they are lucky to know someone like you!

Jean

[darlindeliasmom]

I think this is a lovely idea. I looked up some flower meanings on the web to give an idea of what would be good flowers to use, and they pretty much went along with my instincts, which are for white flowers and/or delicate flowers. I think most of these are summer flowers

What I found:
marigold: grief
daisy: innocence
white roses: innocence
cornflower: delicacy
forget-me-not: remembrance
pansy: remembrance
sweet-pea: tenderness
asphodel: mourning

these are bigger, and often used in professional funeral arrangements: gladiolus: pain; iris: wisdom and hope

I think that these small flowers made into posies would be touching for the family. I agree with them, too. Any big, overpowering arrangements would, like, overshadow the little life they are memorializing, KWIM?
Good luck.

[dlb]

Jean-- Thank you for the touching support!

Darlinda's mom-

Thanks for looking those up!!! What I have is pink, peach, and white roses, glads, larkspur, sweet peas, daisies, feverfew (tiny daisy sprays, babies breath, bachelors buttons.

The neighbor just brought the mom over and took her around the garden, and I made her a bouquet that is an honest example of what I can bring to the funeral home, and she was very happy about it, so I'll bring two of those to the funeral home on Mon., and make a little casket spray of fairy roses and babies breath. I have just never done anything ythis important, and I'm so nervous!

thanks again,
dlb

[lisamarie]

What wonderful gentle responses and thank you for posting some of the meaning by the flowers, its so touching. I don't think you can go wrong in terms of what you are describing. You will be putting so much hard work and your soul into it (and probably some tears as well). That will make it very meaningful.

I know at my dh's funeral, there were alot of huge arrangements, wreaths, etc. That was not him. My ds and I did a very simple arrangement in a slate type vase(?it holds water and its natural looking), with natural looking flowers. It looked alot like the wedding bouquet from our wedding. I still have the container too. It was nice to be able to keep something from the funeral.

Best of Luck~

Lisa:hug

[Clarity]

a gift of love, rather than from a florist, is the best gift you could be giving. If I had had a funeral for DS, simple, natural flowers are exactly what I would have wanted. I also tend to send yellow roses as a funeral arrangement..so the roses as the casket spray sound utterly perfect to me.

[hahamommy]

I agree with Lisa, my favorite arrangement from DH funeral was: 4 red & white carnations (his favorite flower), two red roses = the kids, and one white rose = me... I took them in to be freeze dried and arranged under a glass bubble, one of my favorite momentos...
Bless you for your kindness, it will not go unappreciated :love

[darlindeliasmom]

What a lovely garden you must have...
I hope that your gift brought light to a dark time. Love, Mary