Jacque Savageau
12-14-2001, 10:51 PM
Today is my stillborn daughter Amanda Leigh's 8th birthday. It still seems so strange to me.
We lit a candle for her and put together a small memorial. The kids still aske questions, though they were born after her death. My son thinks it 'cool' to have a spirit sister and my daughter is sad because she want's a sister! I guess we all do have our own ways of dealing with death.
I also know a several women who have lost a child. I lit a candle for their spirit children too.
This day always sneeks up on me.
SHE HAS DIED
The day fell silent
the doctor's oriental eyes
could not meet mine
as he said without words
she has died
I heard then his apology
I saw his pain
yet I felt not my own
numbness and calm
in the hallway someone asks
when I am due
she has died
that's when the nightmare began
the horror of death
which has never ended
she has died
PROMISE
The ground is covered
with a fresh blanket of white
just as you were several days ago
Just as the ground you were still
and silent, not a cry
So I cried for you
Soon the snow will melt and fade away
But you, not you
your memory will never fade
A LACK OF DIGNITY
Gently my tears begin
they have become so familiar
they're almost comforting
I cry openly, sometimes in public
hoping it will cleanse me
I no longer have dignity
Dignity would have been you
in the sling at the grocery
"How cute!, What's her name?"
I look forward to midnight
rocking you gently, gently
rocking, gently, gently rocking
pretending you are in my arms
pretending I am comforting you
nursing you, touching your cheek
I hold you close and kiss you
then gently lay you to sleep
goodnight my little dancer
We lit a candle for her and put together a small memorial. The kids still aske questions, though they were born after her death. My son thinks it 'cool' to have a spirit sister and my daughter is sad because she want's a sister! I guess we all do have our own ways of dealing with death.
I also know a several women who have lost a child. I lit a candle for their spirit children too.
This day always sneeks up on me.
SHE HAS DIED
The day fell silent
the doctor's oriental eyes
could not meet mine
as he said without words
she has died
I heard then his apology
I saw his pain
yet I felt not my own
numbness and calm
in the hallway someone asks
when I am due
she has died
that's when the nightmare began
the horror of death
which has never ended
she has died
PROMISE
The ground is covered
with a fresh blanket of white
just as you were several days ago
Just as the ground you were still
and silent, not a cry
So I cried for you
Soon the snow will melt and fade away
But you, not you
your memory will never fade
A LACK OF DIGNITY
Gently my tears begin
they have become so familiar
they're almost comforting
I cry openly, sometimes in public
hoping it will cleanse me
I no longer have dignity
Dignity would have been you
in the sling at the grocery
"How cute!, What's her name?"
I look forward to midnight
rocking you gently, gently
rocking, gently, gently rocking
pretending you are in my arms
pretending I am comforting you
nursing you, touching your cheek
I hold you close and kiss you
then gently lay you to sleep
goodnight my little dancer