How old are you?

[Stream]

Inspired by a thread on TAO-- how old are you or how old will you be when your baby is born? If you have other kids, how old were you when they were born? Are the other mamas you know IRL about the same age?

I am 26, and my DH will be 25 in a little less than a month. When dd was born, I was 23 and DH was 21 and we were waaaaaaay younger than anyone else we knew that was having kids at the same time (at least ten years, generally more). Even now, we're quite a bit younger than other people in our social group who are having even their first baby, but at least we've found a little crowd of parents that we feel comfortable with. I'd like to say that I'm not self-conscious about my age when I meet new parents, but I really still am-- I just assume they'll think I'm ignorant and naive because I didn't wait until I was at least 30 (which seems to be the rule) to have babies (more likely, they just don't think we have much in common, given the age difference, and I'm projecting my own insecurities!). Sometimes I end up spouting my resume when I meet people (I'm a lawyer) just so they give me a little credit for being educated. :innocent

My mom and I both got our generations wrong. She had me (her only) when she was 35, and people thought she was too old. I had a baby when I was 23, and people thought I was too young. If we had done it the other way around, I doubt anybody would have said anything! :)

So, I'm curious-- are you "too young" or "too old" to have babies?

[wasabi]

I think I'm about average. I had DD when I was 27.5 years old. In all likelihood I'll turn 30 just before this baby is born.

[natashaccat]

I was 29 when dd1 was born and will be 31 with this one.

[valeria_vi]

del.

[LoveChild421]

I'm 20 and will be 20 when my son is born in March. My boyfriend is 23 and will be 23 when the baby is born. I guess that puts us in the "too young" category. People really do think that anyone under 25 having a baby nowdays is just outrageous! I have always felt that when someone is "ready" to have a child is an enormously personal thing- it wasn't a logical decision but one that was made by my heart, my soul, and I believe the soul of my unborn son. People are so quick to criticize or jump to conclusions and say "oh well how's your boyfriend taking it?" "are you two ok?" I always say- well he's happy I hope since this was a planned and wanted pregnancy! I have read that actually from the age of 18- 26 is the most fertile and best childbearing time in the lives of women. So why is it that nowdays people expect us to be in our 30s before thinking of having kids. I know I feel a very strong "biological clock" or instinct to have my kids now. It's strange how small the window is to not be considered "too old" or "too young"- probably 25-32 I'd say- anything outside of that range and you get raised eyebrows!

[natashaccat]

So why is it that nowdays people expect us to be in our 30s before thinking of having kids. I know I feel a very strong "biological clock" or instinct to have my kids now. It's strange how small the window is to not be considered "too old" or "too young"- probably 25-32 I'd say- anything outside of that range and you get raised eyebrows!

I think this expectation comes from the rat race model that the "ideal" time for motherhood (not saying that this is something that I agree with) is after you have graduated from college (or some sort of career training) and established your career. My feel is that this model assumes that that a mother shouldn't need to rely on having a family or social support network prior to responsibly choosing to become a mom and that one should be (if needed) entirely able to independantly finantially support her child (including medical expenses and child care).

Just throwing that out there for discussion because I feel that this is an idea that our American culture pushes strongly....cleary readyness for motherhood is a very personal descision and no mother can truely walk in another's shoes.

[ctdoula]

I'm 30 (31 when the baby will be born) & dh is 37. I was 28 w/dd #1 & for me, that was the perfect age to have my 1st baby :)

[lynchmon]

I was 32 when DS was born in September. I plan on having at least one more hopefully before I'm 35. I was just having too much fun and next thing you know I was celebrating my 29th b-day. That's when we started trying.

[danaalex]

when dd #1 was born i was 25? i think, then 27 with dd#2, and i'll be 29 when this baby is born. if we have a 4th i'll probably wait a while and have #4 before i hit 35.

all of my friends were having babies when i had my first. we all got pg within 6 mo of each other, but hadn't planned it that way. :)

[speedknitter]

Sunday is my 41st birthday, and this is our first child. We have been married for 5 years, and feel that we are ready (yikes!). I agree that deciding when to have children is an extremely personal decision and people who make assumptions or have expectations about what is "too young" or "too old" need to mind their own business. For the most part, everyone is very excited for us and their only comments have been well-meaning good wishes and comments that my clock was ticking, which is completely true!

My sister and I joke a lot because she had her kids very young, they are now mostly grown, one of them even married already, and I'm just getting started. She is in the process of getting divorced and starting a new life, and I am embarking on a new part of my life too. As a matter of fact, my due date and the date her divorce will be final are within days of each other next year! Our support of each other through all of this has been so great - has brought us closer than we have ever been!

We do have a family history of "older mom" births on both sides of the family. My DH was born in 1958 when his mom was 45 years old, which in those days must have been just unbelievable. My grandmother had her third child at age 40!

[sunbaby]

i was a few days from 27 when dd was born. dh was 31. i am 30 and will be 31 when the baby is born, dh will be 35. none of the friends i had previous to dd (who are my age) have any kids yet. most of the women i spend time with now i made friends with through being moms together and sharing similar world views. they are all close to 40 or older. i do have one mom friend who is 25. i love her as an individual, but i tried her play group once, which consisted of moms closer to her age, and it just felt too high schoolish socially for me to be comfy. i guess that is one of the things i really like about my mom friends who are older than i am, is i feel they have all this emotional growth under thier belts, and i like to pick their brains for wisdom; they set a good example for me- and i need it :LOL

not that i think all young moms are high schoolish, not by a long shot, just those particular women as a group. i think people should have babies when they feel ready, and as others have said, this is highly individual. i know a woman who got pregnant with her dd when she was still actually in high school. and judging by what a good parent she is to her now 8 yo, she was ready.

[wasabi]

My DH was born in 1958 when his mom was 45 years old, which in those days must have been just unbelievable. My grandmother had her third child at age 40!
OT I don't think that was really uncommon at all at that time. My MIL is older than some of her aunts and uncles. Her GM had 17 kids! Really until reliable BC became availabe fairly recently women did keep having kids until they hit menopause.

[atomicmama]

30 when dd was born, and 35 when ds was born. :love

[OtherMother'n'Madre]

I'm 18, dh is 29, and I will be 19 when the baby is born (in March and then the baby is due in May......just barely 19).

[MaryLang]

I'm 23 will be 24 when #2 is here. I had my first pregnancies at 19 and 20, which ended in m/c's. I had dd when I was 22.

[mrzmeg]

I'm 22 and will be when the baby is born. I was 19 when we got pg with ds, he was born when I was 20.
I feel the "too young" vibe a lot too, but realistically, this is the best time in my life to have my kids. We're not in the poor-house, I don't have to interrupt a career to be a SAHM, my body is young and healthy, and I have degenerative scoliosis that may make it difficult or impossible to have babies vaginally later. I am really glad, though, that I'm going to be done with school before this next one comes along; I graduate next month!

[ashleep]

I turned 21 while pregnant w/ dd, dh turned 31. people kinda quit the whole 'too young' talk w/ me quite a few years ago. i grew up too fast, i guess, and people found they were repeating themselves by the time i was 18. strangers often assume i'm ~25(and then look quite embarrassed when i tell them i'm 21! :LOL )i've never had more than a couple of friends my age, and we are still the only couple w/ a baby (our social circle isn't that big though)

ETA: I saw this title from the main board and noticed after i posted that it was a due date club! :duh Sorry for barging in April mamas :)

[Stream]

I'm happy to hear from all the mamas-- I'm not April-centric. :)

[JoyAnne]

I will be 36 when our son arrives, and my husband 38.

[hmg7500]

i will be 23 with bug is born. hubby will be 29.

we were 19/25 when dd #1 was born and
21/27 when our twins were born.

[crat19]

I was 26 when conceived ds and 27 when he was born. I was 28 when we conceived our dd and am now 29. I don't think there's a too young or a too old age, unless the parents themselves make that determination OF themselves (not of others). Love is ageless. :love

[fuzzypeach]

I'm a may/june expectant mama, thought I'd chime in here.

I'm twenty, will (hopefully, as my birthday is May 8 and the edd is June 1) be twenty-one when the baby arrives. This will be the first for me and my husband, who is twenty-seven, will be twenty-eight Feb 14.

I want to give some encouragement to Lovechild and thank Natashacat for her views on the "too-young" school of thought. That makes sense to me. However, I have always 'just' wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and even though this pregancy was unplanned it is very welcomed and I'm very glad that things are working out so that I can stay at home and raise the kiddo and any siblings happen along! I don't encounter much criticism about my age.. I'm not showing clothed yet, I'm only about 13 weeks, and I haven't really told anyone other than family and a few coworkers, and they're all very excited and supportive.

Anyways, hi and congrats to all you April mamas: )

[seren]

I'm still considered in the *too young* category. I am 22 and will still be 22 when the baby is born. Dh is and will be 27.I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first and she was born 2 weeks before I turned 19, dh was 24when she was born. I was 19 when I got pregnant with ds, and 20 when he was born and dh was almost 26. I still get comments on being too young. It really makes me crazy.

[liawbh]

I turned 21 12 days before DS was born. I only got a few comments. My parents both thought I was too young, until Marcus was born, LOL! Then they thought it was the greatest thing I'd ever done! Especially since I went back and finished my degree.

I'll be (am now) 29 when this one comes. DH will be either 29 or 30 (he's an April fool B-day). He was only 18 when his DD was born.

[saharasky]

I just turned 30 ...so will still be 30 when this next little potato is born ...was 27 (I think? LOL) when dd was born

Most of the mama's I know IRL are older than myself ... late thirties and early 40's

I always thought I'd have my first at 25 and all of them before I was 30 (I'm only a year off schedule LOL)

[tarablesue]

I was 23 with DD # 1 ( turned 24 , 5 weeks later)

25 with dd #2

and I just turned 28 and will still be 28 when this baby comes;)

[Mizelenius]

I'm 31 and will be 31 when the baby is born. DH is/will be 32. Our DD will be just over 3 years old.

I was NOWHERE near ready for a baby in my early 20s . . . (am I ready now?). I give the younger mamas here all the credit in the world!

For me, the older mom thing (not that I consider myself one) has never been an issue. My mom was 41 when I was born. The only thing that makes me "worry" for older moms is the TTC issue. But, that being said-- you're ready when you're ready, and really nothing can change that. Bottom line: age is irrelevant!

[Boof]

Hi :-)

I'm 29, and 19 weeks along with my first. DH and I wanted some time together before we started having kids. We'll be married almost 7 years when baby is due on April 25th, and together for 9 years.

Congrats to all the other April mammas to be!


xoxoxoxo

Beth

[littlebeagle]

23 when #1 was born
24 (1month shy of being 25) when #2 was born
27 when #3 will be born in Apr 2005.

[Zanymom]

#1 I was 18 when I got pg and 19 when I delivered. I placed her for adoption.
#2 I was 23 and dh was 35
#3 I will be 25 and dh 37

:)

[MyCalling]

18 years 10 months with first pregnancy which miscarried. Husband was 31.2
20 years and 20 days old when my first child was born. Husband was 32.4
21 years and 4 months when second child was born. Husband was 33.8

I will be 23 years and 9 months old if I go full-term with the twins I am carrying now. My husband will be 36 and 1 month old.

Do people think I'm too young to be having children? 4 kids at 23 years old...yes! Until they get to know me then they tell me this is just what I was destined to do...and they are right.

[hmg7500]

Do people think I'm too young to be having children? 4 kids at 23 years old...

same here. i will have 4 kids under 4 at age 23. apparently people think i am older than i am, because they are awfully surprised when they find out my age... but i still do get funny looks when i'm out with the kids and hubby's not there.

[MyCalling]

same here. i will have 4 kids under 4 at age 23. apparently people think i am older than i am, because they are awfully surprised when they find out my age... but i still do get funny looks when i'm out with the kids and hubby's not there.
Crazy, your oldest is only a couple of weeks older than my oldest, you have boy/girl twins which I am expecting and are also due 5 days after me! We have a lot in common.

LOL, the funny looks when by yourself. I get those. I need to start remembering to wear my wedding ring. :LOL

[SoftLetters]

i will be 23 when our first baby is born in april.

jenny.

[julesmiel]

My husband and I are just three weeks apart--we're both 32. We felt ready to have kids a couple of years ago but it took us a while to conceive. We're very excited about welcoming our first!

When I was in my early and mid-twenties, I was convinced I didn't have what it took to be a good mother and determined not to have kids. But how quickly that changed once I hit my late twenties! I definitely felt something biological happening in me, and the urge for kids was irresistible. We waited until we felt financially ready to start trying, though.

[SparklyMoose]

I just turned 27 in February, and DH was 26 in December.

We're too young. :) At least that's how I'm feeling just about now!

Edited to add that I don't think that EVERYONE having kids our age or younger is too young. Just that I'm feeling VERY overwhelmed right now and nervous about the whole thing. :)

[sarajane]

I'm 22 and so is my husband. This is our first baby. The ladies I know in real life are anywhere from 22 to 30.

[ryleeee]

I am 20 and will be 21 when our babe is born.
Derek will be 22.
It's our first. :love


In real life, I had a friend who is turning 19 tomorrow, and just had a baby 3 months ago (gave him up for adoption). I also have another friend who is 19 and due in April. I have a friend who is 35 and due the same day as me. I just pretty much know a lot of pregnant girls =)

[7kiddosmom]

#1 18 yrs
#2 19 yrs
#3 22 yrs (for 3 days)
#4 25 yrs (for 3 days) my 3rd and 4th have the same bady 3 yrs apart
#5 26 yrs (almost 27)
#6 29 yrs
#7 I turned 30 in August and will still be 30 when s/he is born

[VioletPlum]

I am 22 and SO is 23. I consider us to be too young, but this was an unexpected (but welcomed) pregnancy.

[lllani]

I turn 36 on March 11th so 36 for baby #4, had just turned 34 for baby #3 (also an April babe), 31 (almost 32) for baby #2, and 29 (3 months before 30th bday) for baby #1.

Lani

[welldone]

Popping over here from the March board...

I'm 25 and expect daughter #2 any day now. My husband is 28.
I turned 23 three days before my firstborn entered the world.

[heket]

I just realized that while I've read this thread, I've never responded! :bag:

I was 29 when dd was born and I'll be 30 when our little potato arrives (I'm like 2 weeks shy of turning 31 by then). Dh will also be 30. We're about 5 months apart.

I'm the only mama of my small group of close knit friends. I haven't be fortunate enough to make any IRL mama friends (my part time work schedule has me working on those days when I could be going to LLL or Mom's Club :irked: ).

I think the push for career first, babies after is a very valid point. Most women I work with who are looking to advance place their careers first. So what tends to happen, I've noticed, is they have babies at 35+ (or forgo children and adopt pets to be their "babies.") Right now, one of my best friends is on her third attempt at fetching a husband. She feels she has to find that "perfect man" who is career driven, ambitious, and family oriented (especially now that she's over 30 :eyesroll ) because I think she'll want to become a SAHM if they ever have children (she's never said, but that's the impression I get).

As for the mid-life babies of generations past, my grandmother had my uncle (her last child) at 44. Talk about being fertile! :LOL

[Goldiemom]

I too am popping in from another board, but I couldn't resist posting. It is a topic not often mentioned in my family as my Mom was 19 when she had me, HER Mom was 32 when she had her and 31 when she had her sister. I was 20 (for 6 days) when I had ds. I was 22 (turned 23 3 wks later) dh was 21 (22 a month later) when dd was born. I am and will be 25 dh will be 24 when this one is born.

Most of the Mom's that have kids in my ds' Early Childhood class are much older that me. Some have older kids, but the rest the are firstborns. I don't think there is such a thing as too old or too young. It is whenever you feel comfy having your kids. Wishing nice easy labors on you April Mommies when your time comes.