UC support thread #13, January 05'

[ChildoftheMoon]

uc thread #1 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100820)
uc thread #2 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=112500)
uc thread #3 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=129415)
uc thread #4 (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=142548)
uc thread #5 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=152121)
uc thread #6 (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=163941)
uc thread #7 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=171306)
uc thread #8 (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=177301)
uc thread #9 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=188939)
uc thread #10 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=202503)
uc thread #11 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=212605)
uc thread #12 (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=223006)

roll call

andrea -- UC 8/03 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=751125#post751125)
Aurora -- UC 10/03 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=152779)
Whit -- UC 11/03
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04
Mothernature -- UC 1/04
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics (http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalconlark/ILB/ILBbirthphotos.html) (first UC 5/01 story (http://www.compleatmother.com/homebirth/elaine.htm) )
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics (http://www.teamconner.com/Emerson.html)
Carrieanders -- UC 4/10/04 story (http://pages.ivillage.com/carrieanders/)
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04
amyamanda -- UC 5/04 story (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=1428929#post1428929)
Karenpl -- UC 6/04 story (http://o-scientist.blogspot.com/2004_06_01_o-scientist_archive.html)
bookwormmama -- UC 6/04
wildthing -- midwife-attended 6/04 story (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=160091)
grnbn76 -- emergency cesarean, 7/04 story (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=164471)
Hathor -- UC 7/04 story (http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/birthstory.html)
Mamajaza -- UC 7/04 pics (http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=4171092&uid=2143685)
gr8fulmom -- UC 7/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=1786217#post1786217)
luna13mama -- UC 7/04
Chandar -- UC 7/04 story (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=189033)
Klothos -- UC 7/23/04 story (http://klothos.net/Birth.html)
madrone -- UC 8/19/04
TinyBabyBean -- midwife-attended 8/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=158478) (if you're still reading - you may want to relocate your birth story, as that forum is closing...)
violet -- UC 8/19/04
Oshunmama -- midwife-attended 8/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=198137)
lovemygirl -- UC 9/9/04 story (http://www.diaperbabies.com/birth_story.htm)
mellie-bellie -- UC 9/27/04
blueviolet -- UC 9/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=2071991#post2071991) (first UC 7/01, story (http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalconlark/birth/philosophy/willow.html) )
JesseMomme -- UC 9/21/04 (first UC 11/02, story (http://unassistedchildbirth.com/jesse.htm) )
StacyL -- Hospital transport 9/19/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=2109114#post2109114)
4xmamamia -- UC 9/30/04
amyjeans -- UC 10/9/04 story (http://thesillingspage.tripod.com/)
rachel -- UC 10/25/04 story (http://littlelovies.com/homebirth.html#joshie_birth_story)
lafemmedesfemmes -- UC 11/8/04 story (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lafemmedesfemme/110047.html)
DancerMom -- UC 11/12/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=2335018#post2335018)

Ame -- UC 12/9/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=231816)
laurata -- UC 12/10/04 story (http://smartaustin.com/~laura/elliottsbirth.html) (first UC 3/02, story (http://smartaustin.com/~laura/unabirth.html) )
Lula's Mom -- UC 12/12/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=227635)
AmyD -- UC December 04' story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=226242)
nikirj -- mw assisted 12/04 story (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=2431387#post2431387)
Asheville Mama -- EDD January 1 2005
mamamaya -- mid January 2005
zonapellucida -- late January 2005
Chiromom -- 2nd UC 1/23/05 (first UC 2/03 story (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=42323) )
Dandylion -- Jan/Feb 2005
Mama2Lennon -- Jan/Feb 2005
Hayliesmom -- February 2005
mehndi mama -- late February 2005
KateSt. -- February 2005
carlasher -- mid March 2005
sprinkle pocket -- late March 2005
jenniebug--end of March/early April
liamandpipersmama (Laura)--April 2005
FreeRangeMama -- April 2005 (first UC 9/03)
Selissa -- June/July 2005
rainbowmoon -- August 2005
ChildoftheMoon (Brandi)-- late August 2005 (planned uc born still 7/19/04 peacefully at home with mwstory (http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=163941&page=14&pp=20))
--


Please PM me to make changes or add new story links :D .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brandi :love

[majazama]

Thanks for starting a new thread, Brandi:) I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you think you're going to have a boy or a girl? Hope you are feeling wonderful!

[ChildoftheMoon]

I don't mind you asking at all, it made me smile :D
I have to say I don't know because I go back and forth. I think on a deep down level I think girl, don't know if that is a hope or what, because I would be very happy with a son, but want another girl. I had a dream that I had a blond boy and a dark haired girl growing in my belly before I got pregnant, so I am all confused! My inlaws don't think I can make boys, and they have always guessed girl and have been right x3. We shall see. Dh really wants to find out with an u/s. I am not sure about that. I may have one if stress gets the better of me. I would rather take the risk of having one than be really stressed out wondering. I feel like I have so much more fear this time around and it is really messing with my intuition. I am starting prenatal yoga and meditation at home in hopes of finding some balance.
Brandi :love

[KateSt.]

Thanks for starting the new thread, Brandi. I wasn't very adept at adding links and such with the last thread--and I'm pretty sure we have at least 3 or 4 new stories to add, Niki, AmyD, and a couple of others.

I've been wondering how you're doing, too. I know that with this pregnancy the first 10 weeks or so were very difficult. I was so scared and paranoid that I didn't really enjoy myself. Once I got past a certain point it was much easier, but I can't imagine what it was like getting all the way to the end as you did. I do hope that your yoga and meditation help you find your balance. I'm sure that is what had a large part in me overcoming my fears. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you...

Also, wanted to welcome Plum (from the last thread). Welcome! Your previous birth experience sounds so sad. I do hope you're able to heal and enjoy the next one.

Wanted to also thank mwherbs for sharing her experiences.

You ladies are great.

[ChildoftheMoon]

Thank you Kate, your words mean a lot to me.

As Kate mentioned there are some birth stories to add. Would those of you who want your stories linked on the first post please send me a link and I will add them. My dial up is way too slow to search them out myself. Thank you!!
Brandi :love

[kinsey43]

Trying to jump in early on this thread.... I'm not very good at responding as often as I would like, though I do read and appreciate! I'm hoping that getting in at the start of this thread will encourage me to be more of an active participant.

This baby could be here in a month and a half! (yikes) Or it could be another two/two-and-a-half months (yikes again, lol). Just going with the flow right now. Babe did have a growth spurt last week, so that has helped me accept that we are looking down the home stretch. I have not gained nearly as much weight as I did with DS (75 lbs - right now, there is no possible way I can gain that much again), and am not feeling as huge and lumbering and miserable as I remember feeling with him. I'm not sure if it's b/c I'm just not to that point yet, or if the weight gain made that much difference. I'm sure both are possible - it's just weird b/c I don't FEEL as pregnant as I am, yk?

It's weird, b/c I don't feel as excited about this birth as I thought I would. I mean, I'm thrilled that DH is on-board for UC, I'm very much looking forward to seeing my body do what it knows how to do, I'm excited to meet this baby... I guess I just somehow thought I would be more "all about it" than I am - I 'm feeling more like "of COURSE I will UC", sort of more matter-of-fact. I dunno, I don't think I'm explaining it well.


Aaargh - my keyboard is being screwy and I cannot stand to wrestle with it anymore, so I guess I'm cutting this short. Glad to be here and I hope to be more visible now!

Kinsey

[JeanetteL]

I had an incredibly vivid birth dream the other night, although, as almost all my dreams do - the details get foggy quickly, so I wanted to write it out now.

I was in my bathtub, in labour, alone. I knew I was in labour, having contractions, but there were no physical sensations (pain, etc) just energy. The next part of the dream that is clear to me, I was pushing. It was active pushing with contractions - but I could tell it wasn't working. All sorts of energy in the contractions, all sorts of energy in my pushes - but not making it to my baby. All of a sudden an understanding came over me that what I need to do to birth was to let go, relax by body and my preconceptions and let my baby come to me. And so I did, consciously letting go of all the muscles, all that energy I felt - and the baby just came out of me, slippery and wet and plump and roly-poly. I don't remember my dream-self feeling big emotions, just rightness.

Then my husband came in the room. I don't remember if I felt anything when he came in, good or bad. Somehow he asked (as he did with my daughter while I was still in la-la land) if I should try to nurse and so I put the babe by my breast and he/she just kind of moved around. Then my husband took my breast/nipple and tried to "help". I got so annoyed and pushed his hand away.

I wish I had written this down right away, because I can't remember what happened next, I think maybe he wanted to bring other people into the room or something - and I got really annoyed. I don't remember if I wanted him to go away, or if I just wanted him to relax and be with us.

I really don't think I feel the need to "protect" my birth space from my husband - but wonder if the fact that he is not on board with UC (and really doubtfully ever will be) added to the fact that I know I feel the need to protect my birth space from others combined to create the emotions I felt towards him in my dream.

Anyone do dream analysis?
Jeanette

[KateSt.]

Wow, Jeanette -- that's a pretty powerful dream. I'm no expert but it seems your analysis is right on. I hope dh comes on board soon and the rest of your dream is resolved. (And a good lesson for the rest of us mamas to just surrender to birth! Thanks!)

Kinsey -- Hi! You know I kinda know what you mean -- now that dh is on board with uc and I know that's definitely what I'm doing, it's seems so common sense it's blase. It was almost more exciting when I was trying to decide! I think it's a GOOD thing, though. Shows that we're confident in our decision and our abilities.

[fourlittlebirds]

Plum, welcome to the UC corner of Mothering. :)

Brandi, thanks for taking care of the new thread. :love You mentioned on the other thread that it took some time to transfer the links... how are you doing it? It should just take a few seconds to copy and paste? Or are you just talking about adding new links for the recent births? (Wow our list is getting long... so neat to see everyone up there!)

Pam, we didn't check dilation because I didn't see the point. So you're 4 or 6 or 10 cm. -- how does knowing that help you exactly? Well, okay, it gives you an indication of how far along in the process you are, but it doesn't tell you how long it's going to take, or what you need to do. Say you're at 8 cm. -- does that mean the labor is almost over, or does it mean it will be several more hours? There's no way of knowing. Or say you're at 10 cm. -- does that mean you're ready to push? Again, no way of knowing (other than paying attention to how your body feels.)

Mamajaza wrote: "I think it would have been like that no matter what, cause I'm very fair-skinned, and with a latch like she had, I didn't have a chance"

My best advice for fair-skinned women is TAKE THE BRA OFF. I had SO much trouble, and I really believe most of that was related to my habit of wearing a bra. First, my nipples had been coddled for years. They had hardly been exposed to air or friction, and they were as soft (and as sensitive) as a newborn's skin. So the suction from the baby's suck really hurt. Then, once I started breastfeeding, ANY pressure would result in a clogged duct, and ANY contact with spoiled milk would result in an infection. Which obviously the bra provided the perfect environment for. Once I figured that out, my nipples toughened up and stopped getting infected. I do wear a bra usually out in public (my breasts are very mismatched, so I look ridiculous otherwise, yes I am that vain) but not otherwise. I just don't think I could breastfeed successfully for long and actually enjoy it, if I regularly wore a bra.

[amyjeans]

thanks for the new thread.
feeling nauseous
:love

[majazama]

blueviolet~ I have almost never in my life worn a bra, and still don't to this day :LOL closest thing ive used is a camisole for support after Samaya was born (by then my nipples were pretty roughed in)

[TRIBE]

Hi ladies! I feel like I missed a lot and I was only gone for a few days while dh networked our computers and made them more secure.

I had some very anxious feelings the other night about the impending labor & birth. I really don't know what it was about, I didnt experience this with any of the others. Could just be nerves of the unexpected, will i call the mw or won't I. Will I have a good friend here to photograph it all or won't I. All these up in the air questions I think are whats making me jittery. I like to know what I am going to do and be set on it.
I like the idea of having a little labor party, friends, laughs, a slew of awesome artisic photos to remember this event. And then again I dont like the thought of anyone being here and infringing on my personal space. Which is again one of the main reasons i do not want the midwives here.

This inner battle is really wearing me down. I need to find that inner peace and be wel and secure in my decisions. Why am I having such a hard time with this? I certainly didn't last UP/UC. I even had plans on 2 friends being there but due to bad timing on my labor neither were able to make it. Maybe the difference was I knew I woul donly be relying on myself. I have decided along with DH that we will UC but the midwife still seems to loom over me. Yet I can't toally call it quits with them since my DH needs them to cover himself.
I know I talk about this a lot but I just keep hoping that the more i spill it all out the easier it will be to find my answers and gain my strength and peace.

Kate how are you doing?

[FreeRangeMama]

:wave

Just subscribing :)

[Chandar]

:lurk:

[Chiromom]

I'm feeling pretty chatty today guys...so watch out!

I figure I'm gonna have this baby in the next 2 to 4 weeks and I am starting to finally get excited. That might sound wierd, but like Kinsey was saying, I haven't been feeling really specially excited or connected to this baby like I have in past pregnancies. I attribute it (in my case) to the fact that I already have two kids age 4 and under and had a crazy year opening our new practice, and severe pregnancy sickness followed by a severe eye injury and then third trimester yuckies...so...I just haven't had the time and energy I have had in past pregnancies to wonder and think and meditate and all that good stuff. I just figure I will meet this baby when s/he arrives and I am not worried that we won't bond then.

I am teaching a 5 hour class on natural pregnancy and childbirth to a group of chiropractic students in two weeks and while doing the research I have been finally getting more into baby-mode. I have been nesting a bit, visualizing the birth and actually thinking of this child in terms of a real person who will join my family soon. I'm silly...I know. But it has worked for me this pregnancy. But now I am getting antsy not just to *not be pregnant* anymore, but to meet the latest little bean.

I am really excited about the class i'm preparing. The whole first hour is a philosophical discussion of "models" of childbirth in which I have included not just the "medical management" and "natural assisted" model, but also what I am calling "Innate/Intuitive" model which is based on the principles of UC. I am really enjoying the internal dialog this is kicked up in me and I can't wait to see what kind of discussion it creates during the class. I have found that even in a fairly alternative community (like a chiropractic school) so many are still under the impression that they need so much assistance and guidance to have a safe and healthy birth. I can't wait to see how they react when we deconstruct some of these notions both philosophically and by examining each test and procedure individually. I'm hoping the mid-wives in the area don't get their noses out of joint...since i will be encouraging challenging some of the commonly touted *wisdom* of their stranglehold on "natural birth" in iowa (almost no lay mid-wives left here).

Lastly, I need to order (on-line i guess) some herbs for making a sitz bath and a tea for making frozen compresses for post natal swelling. Any suggestions where i should look? I forgot where I got them last time.

Thanks all!

Mar

[ChildoftheMoon]

Hi Linda
When I copy and paste from someone else's post is does not copy the hyperlinks, so I have to redo them all, which is very straight forward just time consuming. If I copy and paste from a first post that I have done myself it just takes one second because all I have to do is go into edit mode on the first post and then copy and paste the whole thing with the hyperlinks whole. Is there another way to do it quickly from someone else's original post?
Thanks!
Brandi :love
(who is feeling really yucky-though very happy-due to morning sickness, aka-all day sickness!)

[majazama]

Chiromom~ that's great that you are spreading the truth and knowledge about UC like that! :thumb

[fourlittlebirds]

Oh, duh, Brandi, yeah I forgot about that. Would copying from the page's source code work?

Mamajaza, good for you! :thumb (just think how much worse off you would have been otherwise! :eek)

Chiromom, do you have notes or an outline for your class you'd be willing to share with me? Sounds really neat, wish I could go!

ETA: new pictures (http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalconlark/photos/2004/December/thumbnailsdec04.html)

[Chiromom]

Oh yeah.. I forgot to ask...

I know this was discussed in a previous thread but I haven't the time or the computer power to search. What are the recommendations for the after pains. I would prefer not to take a medication (even OTC) but they were hellacious last time for days and I am kinda scared. Any great herbals or homeos?

Thanks!


Mar

[KateSt.]

Linda -- Great pics! What a beautiful family you have -- and I just want to grab your little ones cheeks!

Chiromom -- your course sounds FABULOUS! I do wish it's something I could attend. Is there a place where you could post your notes here? I'm sure many of us would be interested. I love how you call uc the innate/intuitive approach -- I find that very validating.

Mamajaza -- I hate bras, too. I live in tank tops with built-in support. I don't know what I did before those came along!

Amyjeans -- keeping fingers crossed for you!

Jenniebug -- Believe me, I can relate to your struggle! Our midwives should receive my letter today (where I tell them that though I value their service and support, I must do this on my own) and I'm anticipating a phone call. I feel I need closure with them to fully put this behind me. No matter how much I like or respect them, I felt I was giving up a little piece of my power and intuition with each visit. I hope you find a resolution soon.

So...I went and picked up the birth certificate packet today at my local town hall. I got one of those "Boy, are you brave" comments when I said I needed it for a homebirth. All I could do was laugh. Anyway, maybe it's just my state, but some of the questions I just don't feel are anyone's business! They want to know how much weight I've gained (which I've not been keeping track of), what my pre-pregnancy weight was, and how many terminated pregnancies I've had, grouping spontaneous and induced in the same category. I'm tempted to lie on all accounts -- is this info really important??? They also state that the information needs to be filled out "directly after the birth" and filed within 10 days...I suppose that's because I'll have nothing better to do! It's kinda funny, but also quite irritating! Guess I'll get a headstart now!

Chiromom -- don't know if you're into it, but I've heard ingesting part of the placenta helps a lot with afterpains...

Hope all you mamas are well.

[ChildoftheMoon]

Linda!!! Beautiful pictures :love Thank you for sharing.


Would copying from the page's source code work?

What is that? And how? I am not that computer savvy :shy Anyway, I think I can keep up with doing the first post for a while, so it should be no problem doing it next time.
Brandi :love

[Chiromom]

I would love some input from you guys for my class. Unfortunately all of my notes are either long hand (written while traveling during the holidays) or on my power point presentation. I will give you the basic overview:

I. Philosophical Comparision of Birth Models

Medical/Technological Model
Natural Assisted Model
Innate/Intuitive Model

This will include both basic history (esp of medical intervention) and examples of various aspects of pregnancy and labor under each model and the ramifications of choices made/dictated

II.Pre-Natal Care

Using the philosophical values previously presented, we will discuss the basic prenatal options. (I will list the ones I have researched so far...I would love addition input.) I am basically weighing how "knowing" the outcomes of each of these tests would change management of pregnancy as well as the validity and risks of each test.

Basics (weight, BP, diet, heart-tones, palpation, fundal height)
Ultrasound
Doppler
Group B strep
Rh factor

I still need to do:
Pre-eclampsia (BP testing again mostly...right?)
Non-stress stress test
Amniocentesis
Glucose testing
Gentetic Testing

I will also discuss emotional and spiritual preparation for birth as well as focus on building the mind-body connection and confidence/acceptance of intuition.

III. Choosing a birth team

I will revisit philosophy heavily here while explaining the mammalian birth response/requirements. I will discuss the ramification of others "assistance" and intentions. I hope to empower women who will still choose some level of assistance to retain their personal power and authority throughout pregnancy and birth

OB/Hospital Setting
Midwife (Med-wife, CNM, lay Mid-wife etc)
Doula
Family members
Children
Friends

IV.Creating a Birth Plan

this list is waaaay too long to list here...but we will look at the pro/cons of most of the basic choices and what other things they may lead to

V. In depth explaination of how chiropractic care effects the uterus, muscles, ligament, nerve system and bony structures during preganancy and birth. We will discuss specific techniques for common "complaints" of pregnancy and what they mean is happening structurally. We will discuss how to correct these various issues, what to look for during back labor, pre-mature labor, stalled labor etc.

I have this SUPER SUPER cool discussion of exactly how the baby progresses ideally thru the pelvis during the many stages of birth that I'm sure you guys would LOVE! It shows how the baby and the body are perfectly designed to trigger each new positional change just exactly when and how it is supposed to in order to ideally expell a baby. It is easy to see when looking at this step by step process how routine and seemingly innocuous interventions can stall or interfere with this delicate dance. Soooo cool.

And that's pretty much it.

I'd love some feedback on what you think might be missing or just cool resources you have found that might give me addition info.

Maybe later I will post the primary comparisons and examples I have been making in the initial philosophy discussion because I'm sure you guys can think of some more good, thought provoking ideas.

The purpose of the class is to prepare chiropractors (both for their own sake/births) to better educate and support families in their practice for "natural" pregnancy. I want to spread the revolution however I can and these students are really open to these ideas, but have not yet been exposed as a whole. I have also invited some patients who are interested as well. I posted the lecture in the local newspaper but the announcement hasn't run yet. I know I will have at least 25 to 30 students.




Okay...back to my power point buddy.

Mar

[Kundalini-Mama]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=226242

toh :)

[plum]

:love thanks for the welcome!

[Chiromom]

Okay...I'm too excited to hear from you guys:

Philosophy Outline:

I.

Medical Model: pregnancy as illness, potential for danger stressed
Assisted Natural: naturalness of pregnancy more accepted but still focuses on complication and risk
Innate/Intuitive: pregnancy as innate state of the body


II.

Med: Medical personnel hold all the power and responsibility
Assisted: mother somewhat empowered but still guided by those who "know better"
Innate: mother completely empowered and responsible (which creates ability to react appropriately to complications if they arise)

III.

Med: All decisions guided by "risk management" protocol
Assisted: mothers needs weighed against risk management
Innate: Risk management occurs instinctively as needed by educated/empowered mother, decisions made without bias of risk

IV.

Med: Pain has no purpose, to be avoided at all cost
Assisted: pain "managed" thru natural means mostly
Innate: "pain" redefined and not necessarily anticipated, pain, when experienced embraced and accepted as important part of body's feedback loop

V.

Med: Mind-Body connection ignored or denied
Assisted: mind-body connection considered but easily discarded
Innate: Mind-Body connection embraced and developed as critical part of the process

Those are my major comparisons so far...what have you got? Share please!


Mar

(sorry if lots of typo but kids are shrieking for food and I can't re-check now!)

[rainbowmoon]

Oh yeah.. I forgot to ask...

I know this was discussed in a previous thread but I haven't the time or the computer power to search. What are the recommendations for the after pains. I would prefer not to take a medication (even OTC) but they were hellacious last time for days and I am kinda scared. Any great herbals or homeos?

Thanks!


Mar

I would suggest motherwort and crampbark

[laurata]

I'm excited to see there's a new thread!

Not sure if I've already said it, but I am so excited for you Brandi!

Plum, Welcome!

I've finished writting Elliott's "birth story." so I will try to get it up and post a link soon.

[amyjeans]

:(
pregnancy test proved negative. Thanks for sending vibes though.
Weird- no AF this month. :scratch

:love to the new ladies on board!

[Aura_Kitten]

:: wave ::

please remove the link to my birth story; it's not there anymore. (i'll get it back up when i can.)

[darkstar]

HI mama's. I woke up this morning thinking again about an unassisted birth. I am not sure though ...dd's birth was pretty intense, although, I know more now than I did then. I am so happy to see that there are so many of you here for support. I LOVE MDC!! Well, its early and my thoughts are foggy, so I will post more later.
:rainbow
darkstar

[fourlittlebirds]

nak sick baby but want to say that I love your outline Chiromom, and as I'm reading along I'm thinking, man, we need a BOOK that covers that stuff.

[heveasoul]

Just popping in here, hope you don't mind, but omg, Brandi - I was so thrilled to see you here! How wonderful! My heartfelt congratulations :love !!!

[KateSt.]

Chiromom -- GREAT outline!! Each innate model description gave me wonderful chills (I never get as many chills as I do reading this thread :love ).
I agree with Linda that a book about all this would be absolutely wonderful.
Your outline puts an exclamation point on my decision to cut out my mw, too -- so thank you SO MUCH for that!

Amyjeans -- so sorry! You must be so disappointed. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you...

Laurata -- looking forward to your birth story!

Darkstar -- hope to see you popping in more often. When I first thought of uc, it a very abstract thought and I never really thought I'd go through with it. But then it started to work it's way under my skin and into my heart. Maybe your dd's intense birth is part of what is directing you to a different experience?

Hevea! How neat to see you over here! :wave

[amyjeans]

thanks Kate :love
Darkstar- once you get UC in your head, it's hard to shake it ;)

[fourlittlebirds]

OT: Brandi -- and anyone else, for future reference -- the source code for the page can be found by going to View (in Internet Explorer) and then to Source. That'll show you the html for the page. It just occured to me though that the problem with that is that you can't post in html, Mothering makes you use vB code, so you can't just do a direct copy and paste. But if you have a word processing program that will let you find and replace elements of text, you could probably replace the html tags with vB tags quicker than putting in all the links again from scratch.

[majazama]

BV~ Your pics were great! thanks for sharing:)

Amyjeans~ I'm just wondering why it is that you want to get pregnant right away again? I have two babies very close in age (though not as close as some, 19 months) and let me tell you, from an AP perpective, it's a LOT of energy trying to meet both of their needs all the time. Not to mention the mountains of cloth diapers... etc. (obviously, I didn't plan to have my babies so close in age) And when I was pregnant (though it might not be like that for everyone), I had almost no milk for my baby..... that would really suck for a *really* young baby. DD was just 10 months when I got preggo, and I ended up giving her goat milk cause I couldn't give her the amount of milk she wanted. She would nurse forever and for some people the nipples get very sensitive, but it wasn't like that for me.
My older baby is still a baby, KWIM? Even though she is 2 now. Sorry if this is unwanted advice, but I just wanted you to know what my experience was and to let you know that your milk supply will most likely drop significantly if you get pregnant, if you didn't know that.:rainbow:

[amyjeans]

Hi Mamajaza
Well, there are many reasons why we want our kids so close.
For one thing- my husband and I want a large family, we're not getting any younger.
We want our children close together. From my experience, my older brother is 4 yrs older than me, and we couldn't be more far apart. But my oldest 2 sisters are 15 mo and are very close now. Its all relative though (lol) My husband and his sister are 14 mo apart and are very close. Her kids (5) are all about 1-2 yrs apart and they are so very close to eachother.
Some reasons that I want to get pregnant soon are purely selfish.
I absolutely love being pregnant and after having Sydney UC, I am itching to go through it again. My family of course thinks I am a glutton for punishment (if only they knew...all managed, medicated births with them)
I also absolutely hate having my period. I am a total grumpy bear when I have it. I have a history of extreme lower back pain during this time also.
As far as milk supply is concerned. I am pumping about 16-20 oz a day for my toddler and my baby is eating like a horse as well. 3 months old and 15 lbs!
Its funny that with my first born, when she would nurse, I would let down maybe once or twice a day. With my second, I let down 2-3 times during one nursing session and when pumping. Maybe its the birth experience that changed my milk flow. My milk came in within 12 hours after Sydney was born, with Sara it took 3 days.
I do know what its like to be pregnant and nursing. Sadly, its not something I am comfortable talking about as that pregnancy ended prematurely. I don't atribute the m/c as a result nursing.
I do know that there can be a possibility my milk may change or deminish and that is something I am prepared for.
Unfortunately I only have my own experience as no one else in my family breastfed their kids- so genetically, I can't rely on their experiences to estimate whay might or might not happen to me. It's a shame I have no history of natural childbirth or natural parenting to refer to. It seems its up to me to determine what will happen, if anything does.
The present deterrent to having another child is the size of our home. But we will accomodate as needed, should I become pregnant.
Thanks for asking though. It is good food for thought.

[Kundalini-Mama]

V. In depth explaination of how chiropractic care effects the uterus, muscles, ligament, nerve system and bony structures during preganancy and birth. We will discuss specific techniques for common "complaints" of pregnancy and what they mean is happening structurally. We will discuss how to correct these various issues, what to look for during back labor, pre-mature labor, stalled labor etc.



Quickly, I'm trying to catch up :) We've had a lot going on in our lives the last couple of days. Basically, my 6w old is having inguinal surgery on Monday, so I'm a little out of it. I have a thread over on TAO about pain relief for him, and I just spoke to my homeopath and am feeling better.

But back to Mar's post.

I never went to the chiropractor until my DS1 was a year old. In fact we are now coming up to our 2 yr anniversary of getting care. Anywho, my 1st pregnancy, I was so freakin' uncomfortable. I attribute this to my diet and my subluxations. I was heavy and had so many "common" pregnancy complaints. My son was born w/a nuchal hand, vaginally, in a hospital after a grueling 60hr labor which followed lots of prodromal stuff. I gained 35lbs.

With this pregnancy, I was already going to my chiro every month and my diet was phenomonal. I "crunchied up" over the last 2 yrs and was in top form. I was 25lbs under my pre-preg weight w/DS1. I had m/s like everyone and had some minor preg complaints, but felt freakin' fabulous. I mean, truly fabulous. I never felt pregnant. Really. I was chasing an almost 3 yr old around and sleeping less, but felt incredible. In fact, come to think of it, I'm still feeling really good. Nice and gentle and quick (5hrs) UC at home. I gained 40lbs.

For what it is worth, I will never go through pregnancy again w/o regular chiropractor adjustments. I truly mean that.

And my chiro who is pretty "alternative" could not get his mind around UC. Their 3 babies were born at home w/a really hands on mw (by reputation), and after Owen was born I told him we UC-ed and he was shocked and asked why and recommended his mw for the next time :LOL I said absolutely not. I said after birthing my son w/o any interference there is no way I would let anyone else into my home during my children's births. He just scratched his head and was confused. But, he is a great guy and I :love him.

okay, back to reading
Amy

[Kundalini-Mama]

Kate, I've wanted to respond to you for so long and haven't had the hands. We'll see how it goes now :)

It is so bizarre to see you on this journey, b/c it really feels like your experience mirrors my own journey w/my mw.

he's waking up, so I'll have to cut it incredibly short, I wanted to write a book.

But anyway, I'm so happy for you that you guys broke ties. I hear it in your "voice" how much more relaxed you are :love

Much congratulations!!
Amy

[ChildoftheMoon]

Thanks Linda for the info!

I am just hanging out. 6.5w and feeling wonderfully terrible. Morning sickness has definately set in, vomiting and all. All I can handle this morning is preztels and oranges and water.

I am planning on a UP this time around. I struggled with this last pregnancy, due to my professional relationship with my midwife. I feel I have resolved all of that. I may use her at some point for documentation to get insurance activated and help with a birth certificate if we move to the next town before babe is born. They are terrible for trying to get things like that! Dh would really like to have an u/s but I told him as long as everything feels ok, I don't want one. Just going to go with my instincts again (duh!) and if I feel like I need outside help I will get it. Thankfully I have a good non-invasive source for that help.
Right now it seems like time can't pass by quickly enough!
Brandi :love

[TRIBE]

Kate--Ugh on the BC paperwork, those questions are totally ridiculous and have nothing to do with a just birthed baby sheesh.

I think I have settled on my decision. Yes i want UC but during the labor I am throwing a party! Whats the best cure for pain but laughter right? Something I read about in Ina Mays book is laughing helps to open your cervix and ease labor pains. So gathering my crazy girlfriends for a little party. I have warned everyone tho that once I hit transition get the h*** outta here.

I got the list of "needed' supplies from vicki for the birth. I laughed at most of them. I don't need all this crap listed and I am sure not spending my hard earned cash for items I know I don't need and won't use. I did that with my last birth, spent about $75 and the only things I used from the birth kit were the 12-15 chux pads, the peri bottle, the baby cap 7 shirt and the birth certificate (a keepsake one). I dont see the need for having anymore than that this time around either. So when I go back in 4 weeks I am going to go over the list and find out what they have to have vs what they think mom might need. Since i have done this before i am a bit more aware of what I need. This list seems more geared to the first time mom/homebirther.

Well i am off to hit the sack again. Got a lovely sore throat and so all i want to do is sleep and try not to swallow anything.

[Chiromom]

Amy D, I appreciate your words of support for chiro care during pregnancy. I am not suprised that your chiro was "shocked" by UC.

I am very actively involved in a large chiropractic pediatric/obstetric community and they think I am WAAAAY out there with the UCing. It is wierd how the chiropractic community embraces the anti-interference idea when it comes to most of western medicine but seems to have a bit of a disconnect when it comes to birth. Generally chiros are very savvy to midwifery/homebirth...but UC still freaks them out as much as it does the the next guy (" but what is something goes wrooong?") They think I have just been lucky that nothing bad has happened.

I have had long conversations with some pretty big names in pediatric/ob chiropractic education and they really just don't *get* it. These are very thoughtful people who I really admire. They appreciate the responsibilty the parent is taking but get mired in the "risks". It is really bizarre to me because I feel that UC is such a natural extension of chiropractic philosophy onto the birth process. Anyway...I digress. Suffice it to say that I am trying to influence and educate little by little and hopefully the chiro community will begin to open up a little.

[laurata]

I feel like I didn't come close to doing the experience justice, but here it is.

http://smartaustin.com/~laura/elliottsbirth.html

[ferdinandthebull]

I have this SUPER SUPER cool discussion of exactly how the baby progresses ideally thru the pelvis during the many stages of birth that I'm sure you guys would LOVE! It shows how the baby and the body are perfectly designed to trigger each new positional change just exactly when and how it is supposed to in order to ideally expell a baby. It is easy to see when looking at this step by step process how routine and seemingly innocuous interventions can stall or interfere with this delicate dance. Soooo cool.


Hi there. I normally lurk, but wanted to say. . .

Chiromom: Your class, and this part especially, sounds awesome. I wish I could be there. :love

Feedback: I'm not sure if "risk management" refers to medical risk or legal risk, but I think it's worth stressing that women who choose to have assisted births (with a licensed provider) are also choosing to enter a kind of legal arrangement. So many friends of mine are absolutely shocked that their midwives made decisions not out of concern for their patient's health but out of a desire/need to limit their legal liablity or allow them to maintain a relationship with a backup Ob/Gyn. People seem to be easily lulled into thinking that a midwife, who may believe that birth isn't "medical" or dangerous, is somehow in a different legal/libality situation than an MD or OB.
Unassisted childbirth avoids that whole problem (of course).

Also, do you want to include anything about third stage, and comparisons of how third stage is treated by the 3 models?
Maybe some of Michel Odent's writing could be used.

Speaking of which, does the fetus ejection reflex fit into the progression through the pelvis discussion you mentioned (your quote, above)? I'd be so interested in hearing more.

I'm really excited that you're doing so much to educate clients and chiropractors. :thumb (FWIW, when I was in acupuncture school, most of my colleagues had standard hospital births with drugs--wouldn't even consider homebirth. I thought that was so odd, given the alternative medical education we received--and our Ob/Gyn class was taught by a homebirth midwife!)



Andi (who can't wait to UC)

[mountain mom]

I have a question. Long time lurker on the UC threads here. Has anyone had a UC VBAC? I know quite of few women who have had HBACS but no UC Vbac.

Thanks in advance. And sorry to interupt the rhythm of the thread.

[Aura_Kitten]

just popping in for a moment to let you all know ~ we are STILL dealing with the paperwork for Elyssa's birth certificate! AUGH! the person who prepared it forgot to add mine and my partner's ssn's... AND the state doesn't want to recognize her birthdate because my last date of menses is so "off." i have endometriosis, so i don't normally menstruate, and i've explained that several times already to different people ~ and today i got a letter asking me to put it in writing and send it in. ok, maybe it's just me but i feel like this is a MAJOR invasion of privacy. my word should be enough! :rant:

i'm considering sending them a letter stating my last date of "normal" menses (which is what they're asking for!) was over 5 years ago, because i haven't had a normal period since well before my son was conceived (i, in fact, had ceased menstrauting before i got pregnant with him, too ~ with Elyssa, i hadn't had a period for about six months when i conceived her).

:: sigh :: just a head's up.

[KateSt.]

Laurata -- thanks so much for sharing your birth story. Yet another I will add to my pile for dh to read. I think mamas who have yet to uc find a great deal of comfort in mamas who have in spite of fear and uncertainty -- at least I find a great deal of comfort in that. Wonderful -- thank you!!

Mountain Mom -- I think I just came across a thread about uc vbac. Do a search in this forum for unassisted childbirth and it will most likely come up.

Chiromom -- I'm also very interested in the quote that ferninandthebull posted. Any other info tho share? :love

Jenniebug -- your plan sounds fabulous and it seems from your tone that you've found your peace. I'm so happy for you!

Klothos -- what a PIA process all for a birth certificate!!! It makes me so mad! I agree that MUCH of the info they ask for is none of their business! In fact, with some questions I just may answer with N/B!! Good luck~

[Chiromom]

People seem to be easily lulled into thinking that a midwife, who may believe that birth isn't "medical" or dangerous, is somehow in a different legal/libality situation than an MD or OB.
Unassisted childbirth avoids that whole problem (of course).

So true and a good point!



Also, do you want to include anything about third stage, and comparisons of how third stage is treated by the 3 models?


I will discuss the third stage *options* during the birth plan portion....and will point out how so many things in the first two models interfere to the point of detriment. I alway take at least an hour to expell the placenta and hate it when people BUG me! (first birth)



Speaking of which, does the fetus ejection reflex fit into the progression through the pelvis discussion you mentioned (your quote, above)? I'd be so interested in hearing more.


This discussion is basically the fetal ejection reflex pulled apart tiny step by step with both the mother's *work* and the baby's response under ideal conditions physically, emotionally, structurally etc... It shows where many different *breakdown* occur that seem time yet create an entire cascade of complications. I will have to write it up for you guys...but it is lengthy and I have to finish preparing this class first. Maybe next week (after the 15th).


Mar

[fourlittlebirds]

"AND the state doesn't want to recognize her birthdate because my last date of menses is so "off." "

That is nuts. A lot of women don't have regular periods. My fourth birth was my first in which I could calculate a due date going by LMP. I'm sorry, it is so frustrating to have to deal with people in power who are so ignorant. :hug

ETA: Laura, Elliott is SO cute, so chubby, so healthy looking! :love So how are you feeling now?

[majazama]

Klothos... I think I'm still in that same situation! I haven't received Samayas birth certificate, cause I was on welfare when she was born, and had to bring all the papers in to them. Obviously they had never done a BC for an UC before, so totally forgot about my notarized letters. I had to bring in the originals, and I had to talk to the BC office and the welfare office back and forth and back and forth. And then I went off of welfare, and :shrug I have no idea what's going on now. AAAAAHH! I hate paper work!!!!!!!!!!

[TRIBE]

darnit I had this long reply and lost it!

Anyways, thank you Kate :) I am feeling very at peace with my decision. Getting very excited planning this labor party as well. I am still leaving the door open for changes in my plans, depending on how I feel once I am actualyin labor.

i take myself back to my last UC and I know i was very relaxed and open to being around people and doing things but once delivery was near I wanted to be alone. I became a primal animal, kwim? So who knows how it will go this time. I may decide i want no one around during the labor but want ppl around during the delivery. Heck I may just want to toss kids and DH out of the house for all of it. Keeping my mind and options open but being ready for my current plan of action :)

[rainbowmoon]

mountainmom- :wave I am planning a UBAC but am not due until August.

btw I started this thread a few weeks back (there's some UBAC birth stories posted to it) and a bunch of other mamas planning UBAC's
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=224556

also there's a GREAT group at yahoogroups called UBAC you might check out :thumb

[Poolplayer]

Just wondering if anyone knows of any really good websites or books that I can show to family and friends to prove to them that the UC that we are planning is'nt as bad as they all think. :help

Thanks

[majazama]

poolplayer~ :w......well there's...

jeannine parvati baker's site...www.birthkeeper.com
laura shanley's site....... www.laurashanley.com

those are the only ones I know off hand. other people should have more ideas.:)

[Poolplayer]

Thank you mamajaza for the info. :)

[amyjeans]

poolplayer-

http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html

I got a lot of good info from here.

[TRIBE]

I just had to post about this dream I had last night!

DH and I were in bed and I just felt, hrm I dont know if i can describe how I felt. But all of a sudden I was pushing the babe out with no effort and no labor. Baby was a good sized lil bugger too, and a girl! I looked at him and said well looks like no labor party but we could have a baby has arrived party instead!

Wouldn't that be nice to have no labor and then as easy as pie birthing the babe? Nice fantasy, i seem to recall having a similar pain free labor dream with my last one too. Babe I feel is speaking to me and that she wants a quiet, undisturbed peaceful birth. Something I already had my heart set on...but what does this say for my labor plans?

[Poolplayer]

Thanks Amyjeans, that site will give me some reading to do once the kids are in bed tonight. :kid: :Thanks

[laurata]

ETA: Laura, Elliott is SO cute, so chubby, so healthy looking! :love So how are you feeling now?

Thank you! I think he's wonderful. :-)

I'm feeling tired... I think we finally found a house to move into, so I'm trying not to overdo it, but also to get everything packed up, etc.

[firecat]

hi everybody,
I wanted to come in and tell you all how much I like reading these uc threads. I posted awhile back about prenatal vits if you remember :) Anyway, I am hoping to ttc this year and have a up/uc. So I will be around posting and asking questions :D although probably not too often until I get preggo! here's hoping we get our own forum!
firecat

[Chiromom]

I just got my birth registration kit from the state. The clerk said she would prefer I had the paperwork signed by a midwife or md (well, wasn't I going to at least have the baby checked by a professional?) but I said I had no relationship established with such a person but was doing my prenatal care with a chiropractor. She wasn't too happy...but it sounds like if I just refuse, they will accept it with a letter of explanation from said chiro, plus letter from myself and DH explaining our decision. Jeez.

Plus the birth reg kit came with the forms to send to the state lab for the PKU test. I didn't do it (PKU test) with DD (first UC) but in this state they "say" I must sign a waiver (not included, imagine that) in order to refuse and then I must "accept the consequences"...which kinda struck me the wrong way. So now I am wondering, should I just bring the baby somewhere for the PKU and get the forms done by that person? Will *that person* ideally a lay mid-wife or alternative friendly GP even be willing to do the form without all the pre-natal bullshit. I just hate to have the state documenting all my decisions like they are building a case for future CPS intervention or something. Am I just being paranoid? I probably have a week or two before the baby comes to line this decision up.....HELP!

[sprinkle pocket]

hi~just checking in and catching up on all the posts. we're just starting to settle down from the holidays. we had company arrive a few days after we came home from visiting family and they *just* left moments ago. sooo, we're still working on getting a room built to birth in and a wall at the front of the property so i can breastfeed outside (or labor) without our only (rubber-necking) neighbors noticing when they drive by. i'm finding that even though birth wasn't too specifically talked about during time with dh's family, i'm really having to decompress and work through fear/anxiety about birth/uc after hanging out with them. sil had a c-sec a few days ago b/c the baby turned breech (after the due date) and the hosp mw/ob said they should. and of course all the il's supported their decision fully. if only they knew their other g-kid will be born in an outhouse, camper or outside in the woods!! geesh, would they freak! it seems that just being around people that are so dependent on the medical community for providing their care and taking their word for truth without really researching things themselves, i get self-conscious. or, i start feeling really judged and considered stupid...like, what on earth would i be thinking?! uc-ing my first baby, much less if it was my 12th?! who would deliver it? i feel their pressure to conform and live their way energetically and it makes me uncomfortable to be around them, especially since it's never been my style to do things b/c *everyone* is doing it and thinks i should. so dh and i agreed no visitors from out of town and definitely no family visitors until after our babymoon. now that we've been back home a bit, i'm thinking, of *course* uc!! what else would feel so right. my body knows how to birth, whether my head recognizes it or not!! it's weird how uncomfortable i can become around "the herd" mentality. i love coming back to center.

oh, kate, i can't remember what thought i've been holding to share with you, now that i'm at a computer. hmmm. it was something related to being a 1st timer. and blueviolet, i had a question for you, too. i'll have to write stuff down when i think of it!
well, one is that my uc-supportive mw friend had advice about having a friend(s) at a freebirth. she advised taking care in choosing to have others there if they are coming from a mw perspective on birth. they could have a really different idea of what role they are wanted to play if they don't understand the difference in types of birth. seems like sounds advice. don't want someone showing up as acting as a surrogate mw.

hope all is well with everyone.
brandi~~sending you anti-nausea vibes :dust

[KateSt.]

Hi Sprinkle Pocket -- so glad your company has left and you have time to re-gather your energy. I could really relate to your post -- I have similar experiences with my family. I like being around them, but I feel the most positive and happy when it's just me and dh -- especially when it comes to uc (which they DO NOT know about). I'm just about 35 weeks now and feeling the need to just be around those that give me energy (rather than drain it!). My whole family (both sides) will be here this weekend, but after that it'll just be me and dh until our baby comes -- and I couldn't be happier about that.

Chiromom -- I have no words of wisdom. The runaround we have to go through for a bc is so ridiculous! I feel the same way -- that they are trying to build up a case against us. Good luck -- I hope you come to a decision you're comfortable with. I haven't looked at my bc packet since I picked it up last week. It makes me too mad!

Firecat -- just wanted to welcome you once again and wish you luck on your ttc journey!

Jenniebug -- what a great dream. I often fantasize about being in labor without really knowing it. Maybe that will happen for you this time!

Hope all you other mamas are doing well.

[punkprincessmama]

Hi mamas,

I am pregnant with my second child, due to debut at the end of June. I just wanted to subscribe to this thread so I can keep up a bit better. UC is something I am considering. Right now I am seeing a wonderful, hands off midwife who is very supportive of UC (rare, I know) Anyhow, I'll be lurking and learning from you all :love

[TRIBE]

Oh kate Id love if my dream were reality lol I keep talking to this baby at night and asking her to send me a message on how she wants labor to be as she has shown me how she wants her birth to be. So far I haven't receieved the message and that may be her saying my plans are just fine :)

Speaking of that I just wrote and incredibly detaile super long irth plan for the mw and for my party guests. i didn't realize how long it wa suntil my hand got so cramped from writing it. But I felt I needed to get it all on paper so we all know where we all stand on everything. I even put in info incase of non emergency and emergency transport situations. i hate putting that in b/c then it puts the what-ifs in the picture but i would rather have that written then to have something happen and not have a clear plan on what my desires are in those events.

I eventually need to get this all typed up. Along with that I also made a list for the mw to go over of what I feel *I* need for the labor/birth VS what they have on their list. Some is the same but many items are left off or reduced and osme items added. Just from my own personal experience. I am flexible but I just cant see spending $100 on supplies that i know I am not going to use and that cannot be returned.

Welcome PunkPrincessMama :D

[KateSt.]

Jennie -- I'd love to see your birth necessities list if you ever have the time. I didn't even look at the list they gave me, thinking it might make me second guess myself. I think on the last thread there were many posts re: birth necessities. Mine is very simple: old soft sheets and blankets, scissors, big bowl (for placenta), candles, snacks (yogurt, fruit, etc) in a small cooler, and...that's about it! I keep hearing that I need to keep in simple so I'm trusting that...
I know what you mean about not wanting to write down emergency stuff. I called the emergency clinic down the road to see if they could handle a transfer (which they can) and then didn't put the info away. Every time I went to the phone I saw their info and realized that probably wasn't a good thing, so I put it away. I do think it's good to be prepared, though -- even if it's just for dh's peace of mind.

Punkprincessmama -- you are so lucky to have found a mw that supports uc!! Very rare indeed! Welcome. :love

[StacyL]

Hi Mamas! I haven't been around in ages, I guess I felt unworthy to post since I am a failed UC'er. But, anyway, I thought I would drop back in to let you all know we had our first family portrait taken 2 weeks before Christmas. It's in my sig below.

Alex is doing really well. He'll be four months on the 19th, and he is almost 18 lbs.! Yay for mama's milk! He caught his first cold (from Mom & Dad) right after New Year's and was sick for 2 days (sneezy, runny nose, snuffly, and crying at night) but he's all better now.

Glad to hear everyone is doing well, and I hope the pg moms have happy, uncomplicated births!

[TRIBE]

Kate--I totally agree with keeping it simple and yanno I didnt even put scissors on my list since its osmething I always have on hand anyways lol

Supplies for mom
Nourishing fluids for labor and after
Nourishing snacks during labor (easy enough since I am planning the party lol)
Nourishing meal for after birth
Double made bed (i didnt do this last time and wish I had since i hate making the bed)
clean towels
clean gown for after delivery (I plan to have a nice new one!)
2 mixing bowls (one for placenta, one to wash mom altho i doubt this will be used)
lg pot for sterilizing (i dont think i did sterilize my scissors last time)
2-3 themacare heat wraps (i prefer these ove rheating pads so i have freedom of movement)
trash can lined with 2 tras hbags (honestly I dont think we even used one trash bag with my u/c so this to me isnt necessary)
laundry basket for soiled linens (um duh lol)
15-20 chux pads (the mw ask for 48 but my gosh thats way too many!!)
bendy straws for drinks
cloth pads for after birth
fleece shorts or pants for holding pads (www.snoogiesnaps.com makes pp shorts/pants, loooove them!! altho i could make my own I am just lazy)
flashlight and batteries (not sure why this is on the list, I guess in case of power outage)
1 gallon sized ziplock (for freezing the placenta, altho i may be eating mine in some form)
rescue remedy (I used this las ttime and so did dh, really helped keep us both calm, espcially him)
arnica tablets (take during labor to help ease swelling/bruising from birth...it works great!!)
arnica gel to rub on back
emergency, family, friends phone numbers
car seat installed in car with full tank of gas
PP herbs (comfrey leaves, witch hazel bark, shephards purse, uva ursi leaves) Now i had none of these with Rory and not sure i wil lbe getting this time, its something I will discuss with saras at my next appt.
Mothers milk tea (not a necessity but I love the tea and it aids in milk production, something i am always concerned about even despite my over supply issues last time)

For baby
goldenseal powder for cord
small bulb syringe if you plan to suction (we dont plan to, but rory was very congested for a few days after birth so it did come in handy)
3-4 receiving blanket (i rarely use baby blankets so this is a low number compared to the mw list of 10-12)
freshly washed cloth diapers and covers
layette items (gowns, t-shirts, socks)
soft cotton cap
bath supplies (weleda or burts bees--shampoo, baby wash, massage oil or lotion)
wahm made rash ointment

[TRIBE]

Good grief I look at those lists and it looks like way too much stuff, altho granted most of this is items i already have on hand but dang!

[firecat]

thanks for the welcome Kate, I think we will start ttc after my b-day in May! I am so excited!
Stacey, thanks for sharing those pictures, Alex looks like such a happy-go-lucky baby!
firecat

[Chiromom]

I think I finished my "birthkit" preparation today with the final purchase of shoelaces.

I have:

Cleaned the bathroom really well (I tend to do a lot of laboring here) and put the old towels in easy reach in the linen closet.

Herbs for brewing sitz baths and making "twatscicles"

Three boxes of big ole sanitary pads (for twatscicles and postnatal discharge)

New soft shoelaces (need to sterilize)

New scissors (kitchen scissors getting pretty gunky, so I splurged)

Warm older (dark colored) comforter for dragging around with me (where ever I end up deciding to labor)

Basic baby supplies (clothes, diapers, blankets etc..)

I think that's about it!

I may pick up some arnica, but my bruising swelling quotient has been pretty minor, so I don't worry aout that too much.

I'll just grab a bowl and such stuff as needed...I don'r really think about stuff like that beforehand.

I'm getting close tho'...who else is UCing this month?


Mar

[rainbowmoon]

Herbs for brewing sitz baths and making "twatscicles"




:rotflmao

[NatureMama3]

Accepting newbies?

[kinsey43]

well, one is that my uc-supportive mw friend had advice about having a friend(s) at a freebirth. she advised taking care in choosing to have others there if they are coming from a mw perspective on birth. they could have a really different idea of what role they are wanted to play if they don't understand the difference in types of birth. seems like sounds advice. don't want someone showing up as acting as a surrogate mw.


I have to agree with this.... we were planning for my sister to come up for the birth (she's a doula, and had started her midwife training, so DH was a bit mollified at the thought of having someone present who "knew what to do", lol). Well, over time, I started just feeling uncomfortable about it, and finally realized it was b/c she thought she was coming up to be a replacement mw! She would say things like "are you going to want me to check you?" and "will you want me to listen to the heart rate?" Finally, we had a long conversation where I made it VERY clear that she was not to be here as a surrogate mw, that she would be here as my sister and, if things came down to it, just another pair of hands - not necessarily the pair that was in charge. She said she understood, and that it was a weight off her mind, as she HAD been feeling responsible and like she was to be "in charge". We ended that conversation feeling like we were on the same page.

The very next time we spoke (and every time since then), it's like that conversation never took place!! My sister is still asking about how much "intervention"( IMO) I'll want, and how outspoken should she be about certain aspects. It is like she canNOT grasp/remember that she's not going to be here as a medical professional!! So, lately, she has not made any mention of coming up for the birth, and I am not asking - she bailed out for DS' birth at the last minute, and I have sort of expected the same thing for this one. I think at this point, I am hoping for that, as I don't really want to have to explain during labor that she's not my midwife, lol!


All that to say, that yeah, I think maybe sometimes friends, etc, who have any sort of "birth-y" background find it tough to let go and just be a friend, yk? Even after my sis said she understood (and I really thought she did), she couldn't hold on to it - it was too different from her experience.


--------

So my mom is buying her tickets up for the birth, and she just asked me "When do you think it'll be?" :lol Same as everytime you ask - I don't know, my best guess is late February. :) She just thought maybe since it was getting closer, I'd have a better idea :rofl Nope, no messages from the babe yet, lol!

I'm feeling sort of torn between not wanting to overly prepare (yes, I think there is such a thing) and feeling completely unprepared! On one hand, I really don't think you (general you) need much for a birth, but on the other hand, it's not like I can say that from personal experience, yk? I think I'm going to pick up some Motherwort and some Chux pads, other than that I don't think I'll be getting much. We're set with the baby's layette, I'd like to get some cloth pads for post-partum (but will probably end up using disposable ), we'll probably get a couple of shower curtains and double-make the bed jic, and I guess I'll pick up some arnica. Other than that, I think we'll make do with what we've got (that sounds sort of Joad-ish, it's not that we can't get other stuff, I just don't think much other stuff will be necessary, yk?). Am I missing anything obvious?


I've been feeling "peckish" lately. Sluggish and blah- and pissy towards DH. Of course, he doesn't help matters by telling me that I'm in a bad mood (really, he DOES think that helps - believe me pal, I'm well aware of my moods, lol). You'd think after already going through one pregnancy, he'd have learned enough self-preservation to realize that's a bad idea. Nope. Anyway......


Physically, I feel okay. I'm not nearly as "done" as I was at this point with DS, so that's good! I have cankles now, though, so that's not so good, lol.

I'll quit rambling now - gotta start supper.

Kinsey

[amyjeans]

Stacy what a beautiful family you have! thanks for sharing your photos!
welcome newbies and oldbees ;)

[paquerette]

Arg, I think I have discovered the main reason against having DH (Okay, the "D" is up in the air at this point :angry ) catching instead of paying someone to do it. I can't imagine ever, ever getting this pi$$ed off at any birth practitioner! Gah. I wish I could fire him. I keep hoping I'll have the baby when he's not home. I don't want him anywhere near me. He's making my life miserable.

Anyone else want to kill their DP, or at least throw them out of the house? :irked:

[Poolplayer]

I found a great site today about unassisted and home birthing.www.mothersnature.com (http://www.mothersnature.com)

Click on pregnancy under "where to go".

[NatureMama3]

:hug Jeni I'm sorry things are rough between you and your DH.

[majazama]

:wave Punkprincessmama... I hope you are doing well in your pregnancy. If you have a MW that is understanding of UC, that is AWESOME, IMO. You can have her do her thing, but make some boundries for yourself at the same time, if she really is supportive of UC. how was your first birth? Did you have a homebirth?

StacyL~ Awwww, what a little cutie your alex is. I'm glad to hear that he is doing so great on super-powered breastmilk.:D

----------
For birthing supplies, I found that I didn't need all the things that I had gathered. I didn't need the "wiping/compress" cloths. I did use the arnica tablets and gel, quite a few towels (Cause I came out of the bath), and it was nice of my DP to fetch me nice clear miso soup as I was nearing transition, and warm raspberry tea. All in all, I find that you don't really need anything to give birth, but a good mindset, and possibly a helpful person around to fetch you things that you feel that you need while you are in it. Being in the bathtub was nice... and motherwort tincture was very handy after I started bleeding after the baby was born.I liked haing some candles lit, and actually was with it enough to play some "enya", so that was nice. I definately wouldn't have used "bendy straws", cause that's just me.


And I think it's a good idea to stress to your "fetching assistant", that they are not there as a MW replacement. Tell them in words that they will understand. Emphasize that YOU are the MW/doctor, and that you want to give birth unhindered.

[Mama2Lennon]

Arg, I think I have discovered the main reason against having DH (Okay, the "D" is up in the air at this point :angry ) catching instead of paying someone to do it. I can't imagine ever, ever getting this pi$$ed off at any birth practitioner! Gah. I wish I could fire him. I keep hoping I'll have the baby when he's not home. I don't want him anywhere near me. He's making my life miserable.

Anyone else want to kill their DP, or at least throw them out of the house? :irked:

Thirty eight weeks now ... the baby has dropped, hard to walk, lots of braxton hicks ... haven't been to the internet much these days.

So ... I am doing this truly unassisted, no dp, I am a bit scared but I know I can do it! Better to be alone than to have someone who you want to kill, someone unsupportive and abusive around, right? I can just not picture the mw being there, nor anyone else but ds at the very end. Hoping dp will be gone or at least leave me alone if it's the middle of the night. I wish I had gotten rid of him before this late date.

I cannot wait to hold and caress the baby ... it is already being comforted by my words to calm down. Ds cannot wait to hug and kiss the baby either.

All I can do is wait and create the peace and calm I know I will need.

[StacyL]

Cheryl (firecat) - You're in Durango? I grew up in Farmington! Small world, eh? I miss the green chile cheesburger and green chile stew from Old Timer's Cafe.

Kinsey - I highly recommend getting some of those disposable Depends Underwear to wear for post partum bleeding instead of pads. They are much more absorbent and comfortable and no leaks - if a bit dorky looking. But who's goona see 'em, right? Ok, except dh! :bag:

Speaking of dh's that are unsupportive. My dh was not so great in my pg, especially at the end. But he got a lot better once the baby came, so there is hope!

[Hayliesmom]

Hi guys!

I'm getting closer now too...and more irritable. Whose wise idea was it to give the kids a 4 day weekend so soon after returning to school after Christmas? I love them but sheesh... My youngest is out of sorts because he is not getting his one on one time too. Oddly enough its my oldest who is being the most trouble. I "think" she is trying to help. Dh has learned finally on this 4th pg to just keep quiet and do what I say. I think the baby will be coming soon because I'm not normally so grumpy, scatter-brained and introverted this early (35 weeks). Or maybe I'm just getting old :)

You can put me in the no supplies or plan category. I have plenty of towels in the house and some chux pads. I have pads for me and blankets and diapers for the baby. I have bowls and scissors and I don't tie or treat the cord. The baby has clothes too. I have the food. We're ready :)

I've been craving nuts lately...wonder what that's about?

I hope the baby comes next week or waits for several more, I'll be busy after next week :)

I had to take off my wedding ring last night and I feel puffy. I'm ready for the baby.

Stacey

[Skim]

Greetings, Mamas!

Just pulling in here to subscribe, and to introduce myself/ask for support...

I'm slowly making my way through the old threads... lots of great info!

DP and I have recently made the decision to go UC and we're pretty happy about it. dd #1 was a homebirth with a midwife attending, but this one is gonna be solo. I'm 35, live in a small town with access to a couple homebirth midwives but realized after the interview that I just really am ready to take full responsibility for this birth. And it feels right, and so strong. I'm excited! DP is a great supporter, and is right there with me. Woo hoo!

Here's where I need your advice: So far DP has been sooo supportive, knowing that we can learn what we need to feel at ease about emergencies. He loves the idea of bonding as a family through birth. However, he insists on having some kind of person to support *him* during my labor - he says in case he needs to get me something and hold me up, or clean up lots of towels, or the sheets, or whatever while entertaining our dd (who will be 3). I think he's concerned he can't be in two places at once, and that I would expect or need that.

What words of wisdom can you all offer about addressing his concerns? I feel very strongly that I want no one there but us, no matter what, and he very stongly feels he needs someone there. We have no family member or friend I trust enough to be at the birth. DP says they'll simply stay downstairs out of the way just in case he calls for them or whatever. I feel that having someone else in our house is too much of a disturbance.

Arghh. The good thing is that we have months to work this out. The bad thing is that when we talk about his need for support and my need for no one else, he hears me saying I don't want to support him. Which of course is not the case, but it's feeling like a conflict based on lack of information and experience, and perhaps fear.

Was it really that hard for your DHs/DPs? What can I share with him from the perspective of the partner?

Thanks so much for wading through my post...

Kim

[TRIBE]

Welcome to the group Kim!

I can share my experience with my UC and my DH. At the time we only had our then 1 mth old present as our older 2 boys were off with other fanily for the summer. Anyways once I was pushing DH oculd have really used someone there to help with our toddler. Xander was very needy and clingy on DH and at the same time so was I. I am still not sure how the heck he managed to handle me and Xander but he did and it was amazing. So I can totally understand where your DP is coming from, but I also know where you are coming from.

This time around our UC is very unconventional in that we are having several ppl here including the midwives, but the mw will be outside the birth room. Of course this time we also have all 4 children present and i simply cant imagine dh handling all 4 of them and me, lol he has trouble just handling me ;)

[ChildoftheMoon]

Just wanted to let you all know that there will be an unassisted forum! It will be a subforum of birth and beyond!
Once it is set up, I will see if we can get some of the existing threads and olds threads moved over there.
Brandi :love

[Evergreen]

Hey! THat's pretty cool!

[fourlittlebirds]

LOL, Jennie, I just noticed you put Rory's name in pink. Cute. (Although I suspect it was because you were tired of people asking whether she was a boy or girl? :LOL)

Brandi, I can't believe it! Woo-hoo! :D

[Chiromom]

Yaaay! Our own forum!

I had my class today (finally! after weeks of exhaustive prep) and I am so happy to stop focus of the class and swing the focus back to this big old pregnant self again. I had a nap this afternoon for the first time in forever and rested some cheesy romatic comedies. Now if I can just get the DH to stop watching football, I'll be all set!


The class BTW, went really really well. The students were fascinated by UC and had so many intelligent questions. I am so pleased with how it turned out. We are going to open minds...one at a time mamas!

Mar

[Skim]

that's great about our own forum!

On another note, I spoke the the one midwife we interviewed already to tell her we're planning an unassisted birth. Well, she was totally shocked, and didn't tell me we were crazy. BUT she did say "I know you can do it. But there is a reason women are "with women".... It's important to have someone there who can watch from the outside to see what's coming." Etc. The midwife did say she might be available to answer questions over the phone if we wanted during my pregnancy, but she wasn't willing to come by if there were problems (which I didn't even ask her to do since I wouldn't expect that of any midwife). So much for my first encounter with the "what if something terrible happens" crowd.

For this reason, we've decided to not tell many people, especially not dr.s, our chiropractor or anyone but a couple friends. Too much to explain to too many people. Dealing with other people's dire concern is really not my idea of a happy pregnancy.

How do you all handle telling/not telling folks about your UCs while you're pregnant?

And does anyone else have partner/husband stories or perspectives that I can share with my DP?

Kim

[NatureMama3]

Kim, we've told my parents, as we're close to them and they'd find out either way. They were a bit concerned at first, but we walked them through the logic of it and they understand enough to trust us and be ok with it.

Everyone else can just keep the assumption that we're using the same midwives as last time. ;)

[punkprincessmama]

Thanks for the warm welcome mamas :love



[QUOTE=*Mamajaza*]:wave Punkprincessmama... I hope you are doing well in your pregnancy. If you have a MW that is understanding of UC, that is AWESOME, IMO. You can have her do her thing, but make some boundries for yourself at the same time, if she really is supportive of UC. how was your first birth? Did you have a homebirth?/QUOTE]

Hi Mamajaza :)

My MW is very respectful of my needs. When I interviewed her I told her I was considering UC and she was very supportive. She prefers to birth that way herself so she totally understands. I have been completely honest with her and she feels comfortable with my boundaries and confident that I can have the birth I want so I'm very happy. And I feel soooooooooo lucky to have found her and that she is available. I know that most MW would not be so supportive and then I would have felt "forced" into UC -- which would be okay too, but this way at least I feel I have options. Geez I hope that came out okay, and didn't offend anyone.

Anyhow, my first birth was at a freestanding birth center. I was interested in home birth but we were living in a tiny apartment with my brother and the vibes were just all wrong in that place. i hated it. i did not feel i could have a good birthing experience there. Anyhow, at the time there were NO birth centers where I live so we drove 90 minutes to receive care and give birth!!! It was a wonderful experience, largely I feel, because when I went in the midwife was exhausted from a birth the previous night and so she went to bed and we didnt wake her until i was in transistion. All in all it was beautiful, but not what i want this time around.

thanks for asking :love

[Chiromom]

Skim,

For our 1st UC (2nd birth) people pretty much assumed we were using the same midwife. If someone asked..."are you using that midwife I again" or something along those lines I would sidestep by saying "yes, were having another homebirth. If someone (in-laws usually) would ask how the midwife visits or prenatal care was going I woud usually deflect or lie a little by saying "yep, everything is looking good...there doesn't seem to be any problems at all". We did this because we didn't want the negative energy out there. I was (am) very comfortable defending my reasons to UC, but didn't want to put the energy or *validation* into "discussing" it and knowing they would accept our choices but probably worry about it.

With this UC (3rd child, due sooon!!!!) everyone pretty much assumes we are doing a UC. My professional community (I am a chiropractor who is very involved in pediatric care and care for pregnancy) is probably the group I get the most *quiet disapproval/worry* from. Ahhh well...they can hopefully learn by example.

I don't have any inspiring DH stories because my spouse was on board from the moment I decided to UC. I think he said "All riiight!". He told me last night as we were snuggle and talking to the baby that his "dream birth" for this one is that he will wake up in the morning and DS (4 year old) will come and tell him that mama had the baby and he should come and see. He was only awake 10 minutes before DD was born (UC #1), so I could quite conceivable do it all without him. I like the idea myself.

[NatureMama3]

chiromom, that's surprising! my chiro and his wife UC'd all 5 of their kids and talks about it very openly! He was one of the first that got that idea in my head!

[Hayliesmom]

With my history of fast labors people expect me to stay home and are not too surprised that I say I'll do it myself. They know we'd never make it to the hospital.

Dh is not planning on waking up unless I need him. I'm looking forward to just doing it completely by myself. Sooner rather than later would be good too. I really don't remember being this mentally ready this early in the past but I'm ready now :)

Stacey

[fourlittlebirds]

"Too much to explain to too many people. Dealing with other people's dire concern is really not my idea of a happy pregnancy."

Yes, exactly! I did just outright lie a few times because I didn't want to deal with the negative energy while I was pregnant. Now, though, I'm more in a mental/emotional space where I can deflect that energy, which makes it easier to be open about it.

All of our friends knew, both times. I think everyone in our family knew except for my dad (I'm still not sure if he knows, but if it came up now, I'd tell him.) I originally wanted to keep it a bit quieter than that, but people just are going to talk. For the most part people were receptive to the idea (we tend to hang out with a progressive crowd) and the few that weren't were at least respectful of our right to make that choice for ourselves. And once someone knew, I was very willing to talk about it further with them, but no one was interested. I think they must have realized what that said about their fears, because they left me alone after that.

My husband was pretty much on board from the beginning. I think initially he liked the idea of not shelling out $2000 to someone just basically to act as medical back-up for a period of several hours (as I didn't need anything else.) As my pregnancy went along, though, he started getting nervous because he was uncertain about his role in the whole thing. Once I made clear to him that I didn't want him to act as a midwife, that in fact he didn't need to be there at all, he was a lot more relaxed about it. He had been worried that I had expectations of him that he wouldn't be able to fill, that he wouldn't know how to fill.

What I've found from my two UCs, in terms of how my husband fit into it, was that in early labor I wanted him to focus only on me and be loving (in love) and sexually attentive. (This was tricky with the kids being there, but we managed it a little bit in my days of prodomal labor.) In later labor, when I started needing to work at it a little more, I wanted to be alone, to have quiet and emotional space. (This worked out great in my last labor, when he and the kids went to bed and I had the whole house to myself.) Then, at the very end when it got VERY hard, I wanted him there again, to envelope me in his emotional strength and help me get through the back labor. This was perfect for him too, because his comfort in being there depended on him having something to do that was natural and obvious and that he was adept at.

[Skim]

thanks everyone for your insights about your dh/dp participation and role during labor and birth.

blueviolet, what you said really resonated for me here:

As my pregnancy went along, though, he started getting nervous because he was uncertain about his role in the whole thing. Once I made clear to him that I didn't want him to act as a midwife, that in fact he didn't need to be there at all, he was a lot more relaxed about it. He had been worried that I had expectations of him that he wouldn't be able to fill, that he wouldn't know how to fill.

Being our first UC, I am still trying to wrap my mind around the no-midwife soul or aspect of UC. While I understand this, and believe it, the dominant model of birth keeps insinuating intself into my ideas. I find I have to keep re-adjusting my assumptions upon discovering them. It's so beautifully challenging, and so worth it.

I really believe DP does think he's replacing a midwife. This, of course, is not what we really had in mind, it's just what our culture has told us we need: if no midwife, a replacement midwife. I really am looking forward to laboring alone. We'll see what happens!

And an interesting side note about my own chiropractor - she supports home birth, but when I told her I was planning one, she asked if I was *sure* I wanted one. :eyesroll Which is strange, considering she rejects outright vaccination of every child, supports homeopathy, herbs, and other body work... you name it, non-dominant paradigm stuff ... so I'm not looking forward to talking with her about an UC.

Thanks for your insights, all.

Oh, and I'm finally feeling more energetic! I lost my nausea a couple weeks ago, and now my energy has returned. Woo hoo! Now I can so more reading...

Kim

[plum]

:wave i'm still reading. we've been doing a lot of talking lately and he is on board for our UC!

blueviolet, i loved what you said about your dh feeling like he needed to be the replacement midwife. i realized that that was the same way my husband was feeling. we talked about it more and i realized how he was feeling and i was able to explain that i don't need him to *do* anything. he's not in charge and doesn't have to feel that way. all i want from him is to be with me. i also told him he could be in charge of taking pictures, since that was something he felt like he did right the first time and he laughed and said he liked that idea.

there are still details to be hammered out. i'm going to continue seeing the HB midwife for prenatals, although i'll probably only end up seeing her several more times. he wants her to come after to check me and the baby and i'm undecided.

i've been feeling very content. this pregnancy has gone by so fast! :love

[Hayliesmom]

Lots of contractions today, pain-free ones but very obvious. Maybe this baby will be here sooner rather than later.

Stacey

[KateSt.]

Stacey -- Baby must have read your last post that you were ready! If this is it for you, I'll be sending you gentle birthing vibes (I'm think I'm as far along as you are...wow!). Enjoy... :love

[firecat]

ya know, stacyL, I have not even been to Old Tymer's yet... I am taking myself out to lunch on Thursday so maybe I will go there.

BTW, are there any uc mamas in the 4-corner's/colorado area?
My friends here are all about midwives but I think would be a little sketched about uc. Anyway, I just wanted to know because it would be great to have some real life support, especially if once I start in on dh he isn't on-board right away.

And :dust for you if you need it, stacey!!

[firecat]

sorry for the double post, but I forgot to add...

we get our ow-wn for-um, we get our ow-wn for- um!! Yay! :bgbounce

[Hayliesmom]

Well no baby yet, but I'm more ready. I cleaned the whole house and scrubbed the bath tub. I'm washing some baby things and I packed a few things in the car just in case. I figure if I have it in there I won't need it at all. Still having pain-free contractions and lots of pressure, of course I know this could continue for weeks.

How's everybody else doing?

Stacey

[Chiromom]

I'm having a little psycological/philosophical dilemna here:

I realized last night, after about a week of nightly prodromal labor that I may be part of what is holding this birth up. I am totally obsessed with every little sign and signal my body gives that *may* indicate immanent labor. While I don't time contractions, I am constantly noting how and where I feel them and keep thinking things like "this is new, stronger, different, whatever" and almost convincing myself this is really *it*, only to be totally disappointed when this is just another step in the journey...not *it*.

I am doing exactly what I know NOT to do: focusing on my educated mind and relentlessly examining the minutia of what is happening instead of trusting my body's innate intelligence to do what its supposed to do when it is good and ready to do it! I am just having such a hard time letting go! I think this reflects my personality in general (I'm a semi-control freak, although having children has mellowed me somewhat). I can let go of more "external" things but I am having a lot more trouble letting go when considering my own body...which I should know better than to think I am *in control* of!

So...today's mantra: "Let GO, Let GO, Let Go...the baby knows and you don't...Let GO!"

Mar

[KateSt.]

Oh Mar, I can totally see that being ME! I have a feeling I'll be struggling with the very same thing. I'm already using "let go" affirmations. At least you're aware of it, so you can do (or NOT do) something about it. Sending many "Surrender" vibes to you! As I keep hearing about birth "just let it happen." :love

Stacey -- still thinking about you. Hope all is going well.

I'll be 36 weeks (I think?) on Saturday. Dh and I are having a final birth-prep talk tomorrow at lunch. I can feel some old fears seeping their way to the surface -- fears that I thought I'd put to rest. Like what if this, what if that. I guess this is normal, though, huh? I remember some of you other mamas going through the same thing -- were you able to resolve your fears before the birth? And I guess it's okay to have *some* fear, right? As long as faith is the major driver....
Just a jumble of thoughts this morning. Hope you mamas are doing well.

[KateSt.]

I've also been meaning to thank you, Brandi, for taking the initiative for getting our own forum. Thank you!! :love And Yay!!!!

[amyjeans]

Hi Mar
I totally know what you mean. The night I went into labor with my dd2, I had a "cleansing" episode. I needed to psycologically let go of any hangups I had, with family, friends, past experiences and such. Any burdens I had hanging over my head, no matter how small, needed to be resolved or at least accepted in order for me to be free to birth.
That was a tough thing to do, but once done, I think that helped me go into "real" labor and have a satisfying birth.
I think prodromal labor has a big effect on the birth as well as the process of going into labor. It not only prepared my body for the big day, but signaled me to get ready mentally as well and Clean out the closets!!! kwim?
Best to you and happy birth vibes are coming your way!

[Hayliesmom]

Mar, I'm right there with you. Trying to control to much and spending way to much mental time analyzing every twinge etc. I was convinced last night was going to be it. More contractions, even crampy ones, lots of pressure etc. But here I sit still pg. Decided I needed to wash diapers today and maybe organize something. The house is already cleaner than its ever been and I think dh is hoping I don't have the baby too soon so the cleaning will continue...lol.

Stacey

[Mama2Lennon]

Yet another nod of agreement ... I have been getting excited for at least two weeks now - "the baby is coming!" but not too seriously. I was totally caught off guard for ds and now I am analyzing every little movement, squeeze, new sensation and wondering if today will be the day. I get a bit nervous because I am so excited to see the baby. Things were good with "dad" for a bit and I had hoped the baby would come then. Now that things are messed up I am more worried about being totally alone, mostly for the intense last stage before pushing. I want someone there who can comfort me and get me things like drinks, ya know? I have been working on that and telling myself and the baby that everything will be okay, there is nothing to fear, that I am strong and that we can do it. I'm not sure if the baby feels safe yet, I know this baby is ready but I'm sure my emotional uncertainty is holding it back from coming. It should be anyday now ... unless it isn't. All of these squeezes are making me feel impatient though!!!

[sprinkle pocket]

hi mamas! wow, we have some babies getting ready to show up. and some that are getting ready to get ready to show up! oh, and stacy, what a cute smiley baby!! beautiful family pics...you too, bv, thanks for posting those, what a great family!

i had a thought, that kate, you may've thought of too, being a first timer. i was wondering about post partum. we talk about pg (up), and birth (uc)...but what about after the baby is here: upp? i mean, maybe it's pretty basic-- you stare and are in awe, you sleep, you breastfeed, bleed, maybe cramp, keep baby warm, eat placenta, eat food, drink water...is there anything i'm missing? like, one thought i had is with breastfeeding. i know about feeding on demand, but with a newborn is it better to wake them up to feed rather than them waking up from crazy-hunger for the first time in this body--do they get so hungry that it's hard to latch on? is post-partum just something that happens and it's fine to go with it vs. learning about it ahead of time? i just don't even know, all my friends have had midwives who checked on them and held the info in their heads so they didn't need to. it seems like it'll be simple after the birth, but i just thought i'd ask, since i might be missing something in the simplicity and not realize it.

as for telling family/others, we've been able to tell some friends that we knew would be supportive. everyone else we're telling that we've decided that the pregnancy feels really personal/private and we're not going to be sharing out prenatal/birthing plans. we're still discussing if we're going to tell them after the birth. i don't want to deal with their fears with the next pregnancy, since then they'd know we'd be freebirthing, but dh seems to want to sing it loud and sing it proud! also, what i've found helpful is that even though our due date is the end of march, we're saying late spring. that is the latest we'd go if we went 44 weeks, so i figure it's not a total lie. and after how dh's family acted with our wedding (controlling, trying to make it look like a traditional wedding anywhere they could), i have no problem telling them why we told them what we did after the fact. but, since this is our 1st, we just don't know what to expect, so we're trying to be really vague and only be around supportive people.

oh, speaking of that, i remembered a question, for the group and for kate. have you thought of asking some of the mamas here who've already uc'd to be on a phone list for during the birth? i'm wondering if it would be helpful, even if it's not used, to have someone who's birthed, much less uc'd to call and say "am i ok?!", or to know that if you needed to call them, you could? i'm trying to heed the advice and prepare for the intensity that people say cause 1st timers to transfer. my uc-supportive mw friend, said that 2 mw's she knows planned to freebirth and both transferred b/c they weren't prepared for the intensity. she offerred this advice: dh should be prepared that if you get to the point that you just don't think you can do it (she tried to avoid using the word 'transition' and said some women don't experience it) and it's just too much, that dh should say, "good! that means the baby is almost here! you're doing great!" she had alot of great advice...very supportive and helpful.

mama2lennon~sending you strength and courage vibes. i wish i could be there to help you. remember that this baby you're carrying has his/her own wisdom and path to walk and the birth will be perfect, and just as he/she needs it to be. you are a strong, wise woman, and i'm sorry that this challenge is coming right now. maybe you can do some things ahead of time, or as labor starts, like setting out drinks with bendy straws, and small snacks whereever you may labor. maybe the birth will be too short to need them. the baby will attract to it what's needed for it's birth. i'm keeping gentle, perfect birth thoughts for you.

[CluckyInAZ]

I FINALLY finished reading all of the UC threads! I have got my husband on board and everything is looking good for having our first child via UC in May. I am so thankful that these support threads were here so that I could stumble upon them.

[Chiromom]

Sprinkle,

It is an interesting question you pose about "upp".

I have mixed thoughts. I agree that some type of preparation is in order, but I am not sure what all that would entail. The number one advice I usually give to new parents is "trust yourself, listen to your instincts, no one knows your child better than you". This is pretty much the application of UC philosophy to parenting in my mind.

There are so many choices to make as parent and I have seen parents become completely bogged down and bamboozled by the myriad information and ideas and cultural choices that they lose all trust in themselves and their ability to communicate with their child. I have seen nursing issues that in my opinion were entirely brought up by parents trying to follow a bunch of rules and not doing what seemed *right*.

I was very concerned about about being proactive rather than a reactive parent when I was pregnant with my first, but I didn't know how to *do that* so I just tried to keep a really open mind. Luckily, I found MDC very soon after my first was born and it helped me to gel some of my philosophical choices early on. Once I knew *why* I wanted to parent...the individual choices became easy, KWIM? Even things like nursing and comforting a child and all that fell into place. That's not to say I never asked my mom or another trusted source for some input...but even with them, I have always trusted my instincts first.

So, over all; You know deep down exactly what to do...and when in doubt, keep cruising these boards. I don't agree with many things I read (even here) but they all make me think and better understand what IS right for me and my family.

UPP is just like UP and UC...you just rely on yourself and your inner wisdom!

[ChildoftheMoon]

I am putting in a request to have some threads moved to our new forum. I am obviously going to have our big thread moved. If there are any other threads that you know of that you would like to have moved as well, please pm me a link. I will put them all together in one pm to the moderator for our request. For now I will ask to have all the old big threads moved as well, perhaps we could have an archive eventually. Once we are all settled and moved we can get some sticky threads together for resources too. Thank you!
Brandi :love

[majazama]

quick notes here...

Brandi, thanks for pushing for an UC forum. Now I'm worried I will never be able to read all the questions to help, though.:LOL

CluckyinAZ~WOW, I'm impressed that you read through all of the threads! That must have taken a few days! Welcome, and good luck.

Well, a friend of mine who was planning an UC had her baby safe and sound. It was a very fast labour, and she tore really badly, because she wanted the baby born before the other people who lived in the house got home (including the dad) She ended up getting stitches. I think her labour was like 3 hours, total. It was a 6 1/2lb. little girl and her name is Cedar. Congrats momma and baby!

[KateSt.]

Oh, I love the name Cedar! How pretty! Thanks for sharing Mamajaza!

Brandi -- thanks again for your continuing efforts on our UC forum. How are doing physically and mentally? I hope all is going well. I think of you often.

CluckyinAZ-- yes, VERY impressive that you've read through all the threads! Welcome! It's great to see another 1st time mama.

Sprinkle -- you know, I really like your idea of a phone-support list. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather get advice from than you wonderful mamas here. If other people are up for it, I'd definitely take advantage.
I've also thought a lot about upp -- but I figure as Mar said, that I'll figure it out as I go along. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not prepared enough and perhaps I'm underestimating everything (tends to be my MO) but then I keep hearing "keep it simple, keep it simple." I just hope I'm not in for an overwhelming shock!

Stacey -- how are you doing? Don't know if you're in labor yet, but I did have a question for you. I know you don't tie the cord before cutting, and we're not planning to either. How close to the belly button to you cut and how long do you wait - -until it stops pulsing, obviously -- but do you wait longer? And I think I saw in a recent post that you don't treat the cord, either? So you don't clean it? If this has worked for you in the past, I definitely think it's the route I'll take as well.

Hope all you mamas are well. :love

[KateSt.]

Hey Mama! Did you see that our new Unassisted Birth Forum is the Featured Forum on Mothering's Homepage today???? WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

[ChildoftheMoon]

Hi Kate, thank you for asking after me :D I am still nauseous, but it seems to be getting less so as the days go by. Very tired. Mentally, is just a day to day thing. I have to make a consious effort to keep the fears at bay. It is really strange to have to do this. I feel robbed that I will never be able to have a comfortable blissfull pregnancy again. So many what ifs. I still trust in my body completely, and birth is not an issue/fear for me, it is just wondering if baby is all right. With Galadriel, my instincts spoke to me, but this time I feel the fear muddles that voice, so like I said, one day at a time.

I can't believe how close so many of you are getting! It is so exciting and gives me hope and encouragement!!

Love to you,
Brandi :love

[Mama2Lennon]

Sprinkle Pocket ~ Thank you so so much for those words!!! If I wasn't in a public place right now I would be crying. I got chills ... I feel your energy.
:love :hug the biggest hug I could muster up - with my huge belly baby in the middle! :rainbow