Nursing ds doesn't hurt, but it *irritates* me!

[Galatea]

It doesn't hurt at all. It is mentally irritating me. Last night he woke up at 1 a.m. and wouldn't go back to sleep. He kept grinding his teeth and fidgeting and pulling my hair. I got so mad that I called dh to come in and help and I left and ds just cried and cried. I felt guilty, and I was so tired, so I went back in to nurse him to sleep, but as soon as he started nursing, I was so annoyed and resentful that I pushed him off, grabbed him, ran out of the bedroom, gave him to dh, and tried to go to sleep. Well, this made ds really cry, that high-pitched middle of the night confused and really upset cry. I felt terrible, but I still did not want to nurse him. I waited a few minutes and then took him back to bed and managed to nurse him to sleep. All night long I dreamed about wanting to wean him. This morning I don't feel as strongly anymore, but I am still not enjoying nursing. What should I do? Am I a bad mom? How do I get through this? I have no interest in tandem nursing, but ds is only 10 1/2 months old now and I think that is too early to wean.

[NatureMama3]

:hug from what have observed in other tandem mamas and am feeling myself, that's very normal to FEEL. :hug

I struggle with it too. Generally it happens for me during the day so I distract myself (such as surfing online here or reading). At night I enlist DH to help me relax by rubbing my back, etc.

I think it's hormonally driven or something. :shrug

I plan on getting a Lact-Aid to help supplement when my supply nose-dives. I'm hoping that will help some of the aggrivation.

[Pepper]

Lilli,

Hi, I'm a June 05 Mama and saw your link to this thread from the Pregnancy Forum. If you want, take a gander at this weeks Weekly Thread on our June board--we discuss this in there and I also started another thread called Pregnant and Nursing Mamas because we all seem to having such a hard time with this exact same thing right now!

Also, I've posted on the CLW board in bf'ing. I'm at my wits end and having a really hard time--it's hard for me to even talk (post) about it or think about it without crying....

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone--there are lots of us feeling the same way. I'm not sure how to help you, though... :hugs

[mimim]

I have so felt the same way off and on throughout my pregnancy! I posted a thread on the EBF forum about this a while ago and didn't get much response.

To get through nursing sessions, I have practiced my labor relaxation techniques, distracted myself by reading or having a conversation, and reminded myself why I was continuing on. All of those things help, but I still get that, "Get off me!" feeling a lot.

The annoyance definitely goes in cycles. Right now it's not so bad, but a month ago I was almost ready to quit. I'm really glad I kept going - it's going to be so worth it after the baby is born. DS will have the same security that he's always had, although his life will change drastically in a matter of hours.

Don't expect to enjoy nursing him. Expect to do the best job you can at parenting him, which you obviously are doing or you wouldn't even be posting this. If nursing is a priority to you, you will be able to stand it! You have a long time to go in the pregnancy and there will be a lot of changes to your breastfeeding relationship.

And, BTW, I've heard that these feelings often don't go away after the birth. They might even be much stronger. :( Uggh, not what any of us want to hear, I'm sure!

[Music-mommy]

My daughter is 3 and nursing and I feel the same way, the last 2 weeks it was aggravating me so much, she was sick and her constant nursing was driving me batty, but then when I resigned myself to letting her nurse it actually got better, I got more sleep, she got more sleep, and everyone was happier.

The difference with me is that she is 3 and I feel like it woudl be ok to wean her and so I resent it when she nurses. I wish I could wean her but it just never seems to work. I started nightweaning at xmas time, but then she got sick, and I was going crazy from lack of sleep.

I don't know what the answer is, I'm in the same boat, totally frustrated, needing my nipples back but needing sleep more....

[spsmom]

hey mamas, i am feeling your pain (no pun intended!)

i just subscribed to this forum. due sometime in september with dc #2. ds is 21 mo and still nursing. i dream of having my nipples back even if just for a few months before baby comes!

i actually started weaning him a little this week. here's waht i;ve donw. it could all be a fluke thing and he'll be back to his old tricks again but i am hoping this will stick.

during the day when he asks for it, i tell him only night night time. (he started trying to tell me he wanted to go night night in the beginning. too clever!)

so when he would ask, i would just distract him with something else. trying not to offer food or milk in place. i don't want him to associate food with comfort. so just a toy that he hadn't palyed with in a while. (i rotate toys so when i do bring something out, he gets excited)

so after 5 days, he has stopped asking for it during the day. i nurse him at nap time only and at night. but i don't let him fall asleep on the bood. i just hold him and rub his back. he struggled at first but now when i "pop" him off he rolls over and reaches for his back telling me he wants me to rub it!

and now the last 2 nights he hasn't woken up as much. only 2, maybe 3 times. he usually is up every 2 hours to nurse.

i guess that was a little long winded. but that's what we are up to and it seems to be working quite well. he definitely is not acting as though he is traumatised (sp?) by it at all.

[melissel]

Yeah, what they said :) I don't have any extra advice, only wanted to send more ((HUGS)) and say I'm going through the same thing. For me it's related to feeling queasy, and I know it's going to get worse soon. My problem is that Bella will ONLY nurse to sleep. I don't know how to get around that because she's so dedicated, and it's heartbreaking to hear her cry if I try to tell her she needs to go to sleep w/o nursing (in fact, I don't think I've ever succeeded). Plus, I've successfully nursed her a bit and then convinced her to fall asleep on her own, but it takes FOREVER and because I stay with her, I end up falling asleep, which totally ticks me off because I work from home and my nights are usually when I get my work done!

Anyway, that doesn't really help you, but maybe it helps to know you're in a BIG boat with the rest of us. Also, if you can stand to continue night nursing for another month or two, it'll still be pretty early but you could give the Jay Gordon nightweaning plan a shot. Who knows, maybe he'll take to it pretty easily, and maybe if you ease up on your nights, it will make continuing in the days easier. I nightweaned Bella at around 15 months and what was supposed to take several weeks took 5 nights and involved almost no crying, I was shocked.

HTH!

[Galatea]

Also, if you can stand to continue night nursing for another month or two, it'll still be pretty early but you could give the Jay Gordon nightweaning plan a shot. Who knows, maybe he'll take to it pretty easily, and maybe if you ease up on your nights, it will make continuing in the days easier. I nightweaned Bella at around 15 months and what was supposed to take several weeks took 5 nights and involved almost no crying, I was shocked.

HTH!


Do you have a link to this Gordon plan?

[melissel]

http://www.drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm

Sure. I definitely can't guarantee the same results as I had with Bella, she's a really easygoing kid for the most part. And she didn't stay totally nightweaned--molars and sicknesses intervened many times, so most nights I end up nursing her once or so. But it's way better than it was at the time, and if you have more nighttime fortitude than I do, you'll probably have better luck.

He says it's only for babies over 1 year, but if your babe ever goes to sleep with anyone but you, you might be able to try it now. A friend of mine tried it when her son was 11 months and she said it didn't work at all, but he was an all-night nurser too, just like Bella was.

Hope it helps!

[marieangela]

Just wanted to say that I feel the same way. Ds is 2 and has only been nursing before his nap and bedtime and when he wakes up for a while now. Problem is, he's been waking up more in the night lately. He must have nursed five or six different times last night compared to a usual once at most and I was quite resentful and annoyed. I'm torn between wishing he would just wean and thinking that his continued nursing will help make the transition to having a baby around easier for him.

[Galatea]

It went away for awhile, but now it's back worse than before. Nursing him is so irritating. This morning while half asleep and trying to nurse him, I actually had this weird fantasy of a giant blade coming down and severing the connection between us. It didn't cut him, or my boob, but it chopped off the nursing. Does that make sense? It is now 10 minutes after I nursed him to nap time and my boob still feels gross and yucky. I feel terrible and I hate it.