What a nice surprise!! Thank you! :thumb

Excellent! :thumb :love

OMG Cynthia!!!! :love What a wonderful surprise to find this morning. I am in shock! This is so great. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!

:clap :twothumbs :bgbounce :jumpers: :thumb :heartbeat

You have been making some really wonderful and important changes lately and we SO appreciate them. :grouphug

YAY!
I'm here, too!
We should do a "roll call" :)

Thank you, Cynthia and MDC!

Nice! :thumb I'm glad to see this here.

I prefer the term "child respectful weaning" myself. Was this one of the titles we voted on? I thought most preferred "bfing beyond infancy?"

Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements.

But I know it is meant well...

I prefer the term "child respectful weaning" myself. Was this one of the titles we voted on? I thought most preferred "bfing beyond infancy?"

Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements.

But I know it is meant well...


Thank you. I think it is horrendously ostracizing and belittling, and most certainly 'loaded with value judgements'. Also exclusionary, as if every mama on MDC has chosen this path.

- you are helping her to build a confident, trusting foundation for future dependence.

A typo?

Thank you. I think it is horrendously ostracizing and belittling, and most certainly 'loaded with value judgements'. Also exclusionary, as if every mama on MDC has chosen this path.
:bigeyes

Wow. Boy, obviously I have missed something. But then, I haven't been in this forum much since our weaning.

I think it's great to have a place where one can talk about child-led weaning without people bashing it. My own late weaner caused some extreme social isolation for me IRL. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a "safe place" for people who make the decision to do this. :shrug

i don't get why it would be belittling - its just a forum for people who are practicing child led weaning. clue me in please some one.

As I understand it, this forum has been *added* and is not replacing anything. I can't help but wonder, does the homebirth forum cause others to feel ostracized and belittled for having a hospital birth? Or does the EC forum do the same for those of us who aren't doing EC?

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Clarification please: will any posts referencing non child led weaning be removed from this forum?

TIA,
Kay

Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements.

:scratch Couldn't they just stay in the regular bfeeding forum (even extended)? I'm really weary myself of the constant weaning emphasis that creaps in, and I like the idea of a place with NO weaning pressure (including just people asking for advice on how to wean their young infant/toddlers).

WAIT A SECOND!!!

Where is the "Extended Bfeeding" Forum? Has that just become "Child-Led Weaning?" Because, in that case, I have to agree with the others--- that is not an appropriate name change. I think the majority of posters on the Extended Bfeeding forum do NOT practice CLW--- where are "they" supposed to go?

Kay

No, this is a new forum. I realized that the EB forum has now been merged with getting started and overcoming difficulties. Hmmm, if I was doing mother led weaning, but extended bfing I think I wouldn't want to have the same forum where there are questions about newborns etc. I can understand being upset about the merging of those two forums. The CLW forum has not replaced anything though. It's simply our newest forum addition.

I am getting the idea that anyone with breastfeeding issues, be it:

a brag/celebration
a problem
a weaning question

should stay in "Breastfeeding"

Child-led weaners get their own sub-forum.

Did they want one?

I am getting the idea that anyone with breastfeeding issues, be it:

a brag/celebration
a problem
a weaning question

should stay in "Breastfeeding"

Child-led weaners get their own sub-forum.

Did they want one?
We wanted a subforum, but did not intend for any of the other BF forums to disappear. :scratch Is support and advocacy still here? I'm a bit confuzzled now.

Glad to be here! :) I don't understand why anyone feels this forum is exclusionary... after all I don't have teens or preteens so I don't post in that forum. I have had vaginal births so I don't post on the VBAC forum. :shrug If you intend to choose mother-led weaning then one of the other BF forums (assuming there are others left) would be for you. :)

Child-led weaners get their own sub-forum. Did they want one?

DaryLLL, we most definitely want our own forum! Even at MDC, there are many mamas that consider 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and beyond too old to breastfeed. It is very disheartening. I am extremely pleased that there is now a forum dedicated to child-led weaning, which imho is not the same as child-respectful weaning.

I also think it may be a good idea for extended to be combined with getting started and overcoming difficulties. I was guilty of never visiting the getting started forum. Perhaps now there will be more experienced people over there to offer help.

Clarification please: will any posts referencing non child led weaning be removed from this forum?


Yes. They'll be moved to the Breastfeeding forum.

I am glad to see this forum, but very sad to see the demise of the EBF forum. Though I am the mother of an almost 3 year old nursling, I have set some limits on her nursing that I think many who are really committed to CLW would not agree with. Now I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. :(

Could we keep this forum and bring back EBF?

:thumb Thanks soooo much!!!! :love

I agree with Ellie'smom. I think that extended bf'ing needs its own forum, separate from general bf'ing. Perhaps a subforum under the new breastfeeding forum?
But as a bigtime clw'er, I also agree that we have very different issues than other "extended" moms. I like having a place where we can talk safely about this; I'm so in the closet about the REALITY of my bf'ing experience at LLL meetings, for example (can't scare off the "short-termers") (and I mean that sincerely, since I DO believe that EVERY feeding counts, and it's a victory to get some moms to nurse to 6 mos.).

anyway, I continue to be confused by people who DON'T do something thinking that those of us who do having a forum to discuss it implies a judgment of them...I have learned to keep my mouth shut so many places on these boards that, oh well, I've been around since the old old boards and I STILL don't have 1000 posts... :shy

Thanks Cynthia, for this forum. :thumb

I am overjoyed to see this forum!!! :love :love :love

It's great to have a place where I won't constantly have to see the word "weaning" in the titles of questions and won't have to be afraid of a debate happening in a thread in which a mama states that she is nursing a 7+ year old. I think this forum is very much needed for mamas who practice natural / child-led weaning.

I don't feel that this forum is any more "exclusionary" than homebirth, homeschooling and beyond, etc. There are many moms on MDC who don't embrace every concept presented, and some of the forums are somewhat opposed to each other (homeschooling/schooling for example). I think it's a great resource for mamas who are considering child-led weaning, who don't know what child-led weaning is, or who want to know more about it.

Thank you for this forum...I look forward to posting here often!!! :thumb

yeah, i didn't realize that EBF was gone - I don't think that's a good idea. I think the issues faced by EBFers are vastly different than those faced by women with infant nurslings. I think there need to be subforums for EBF as well as CLW.

Thank you, thank you for this forum :banana :love

I also think it may be a good idea for extended to be combined with getting started and overcoming difficulties. I was guilty of never visiting the getting started forum. Perhaps now there will be more experienced people over there to offer help.

A good point, one I hadn't considered!

I'm disappointed that the extended breastfeeding forum is gone..

Hmmmmmm . . I'm also a bit confused as to where I fit in now. My DD is almost three, still nurses, but like Ellie'sMom, I have put some limits on our nursing relationship that might be looked down upon by some in CLW.

It was really nice to visit the EBF forum for support and advice. I will miss it, as I really felt welcome there and I am not sure how welcome I will be here . . .
:scratch

I think that the only thing that we should all keep in check is respect.

Gretasmommy I think it would be wonderful for you to be here! I get tired of having to tell people that we are CLWing. I think if one has really strong feelings against CLWing they probably shouldn't be on this particulair forum.

There is always a grey area. If handled with respect, a grey area can exsist. :thumb

Thanks Mountain Mom :thumb

It's the respect part that seems to be difficult to remember here at times. While I love MDC, it seems more and more these days that things become heated and judgemental . . .

I sure hope your confidence in us as a group isn't misplaced!

For those wondering if they fit in, I think what's important with CLW is that the child leads the way in the *final* weaning. It's almost impossible not to set *some* limits with nursing. If you are planning on nursing until your child is ready to stop you most certainly belong in the CLW forum.

I also do not think it's a good idea to combine Getting Started with EBF. Weaning issues aside, both fora are pretty busy with different problems of early vs. later nursing, and I think it merits separation so that the threads don't disappear too quickly without getting answered. There are a lot of things in EBF that have nothing to do with mother-led weaning - societal pressure, starting other foods, teething, pressure to wean from medical types, etc., that I think merit their own space.

I've spent a lot of time in both Getting Started and EBF when I have time, trying to help other mamas, especially when I see a thread that hasn't gotten answered yet. It's too easy for those threads to fall off the first page, and I think that will get worse with the two combined fora.

Can we please have EBF back and make CLW a sub-forum? Important as it is for CLWers to have a safe space, I don't think it merits its own forum in lieu of having separated Getting Started and EBF. I think it would be much better as a sub-forum just as EC is a sub-forum under Diapering.

quirky has just said everything i meant to. i never felt weird talking about nursing a 7 yr old in ebf & aside from trolls was always supported; the only dissing i've ever gotten was from the more militant clw'ers for telling my 7 yr old, 'y'know? i don't want to do this any more.' is cm aware that what some people's definition for clw, is different from some of the more moderate definitions i've heard in this thread?

please bring back ebf; clw will be a great subforum, but merging ebf with the difficulties faced by bfing nbs is confusing.

suse (currently tandeming my 2 & nearly 4 yr old, with no plans to stop but reserving the right to wean if i choose to in future years. that means i can't get in the club.)

We could really do without the sarcasm, don't you think?

I think the "getting started" forum should probably have been kept, for all of the new nursing moms to focus on the newness of nursing.

But the "breastfeeding" forum should sufficiently cover any other issues outside of "getting started", "support and advocacy" and "CLW" IMHO.

And I think that anyone who thinks that the way their nursing relationship is going would not be condoned by the strictest CLW'ers should still feel welcome in the CLW forum bc there are probably many definitions and interpretations to CLW, and this is something we can begin discussing in that forum to try and delineate the parameters of child led/respectful weaning.

I would welcome anyone in the "CLW Club" today, whether or not they were sure that they would remain members or even qualify. Sometimes I wonder if I do! :)

Jenny, Andrea & anyone else feeling this:

Though I am the mother of an almost 3 year old nursling, I have set some limits on her nursing that I think many who are really committed to CLW would not agree with. Now I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

I have been "hanging out" on the CLW thread for quite some time now and there have *never* been negative opinoins expressed towards my DDs weaning or the limits I choose to place on my DS. There is a wide variety of behavior among "CLW"ers and I think you would and should all feel welcome :love

I had understood CLW to mean you can set limits and do have days where you just want to wean. It took me years of avoiding threads/converstations about CLW to realize this after I felt I did not do CLW with my first because I cut back on some nursings with her and did tell her to wait and "no" when I was done NIP after age 2 1/2. I think that there is a possibility that not everyone will feel they fit in here including good moms who ebf.
I'm still glad to see the forum though.

I consider us to be CLW.

My DS is not quite 3 yo, but I have been setting limits with him for a few months now.
I won't always nurse him when he asks (if I haven't finished my dinner yet, or if I have to go pee really bad, or if we are in a restaurant, to name a few...). These are recent limits, and there are probably more, but they are more about recognizing needs vs. wants, and convenience of catering to wants. If it is convenient to nurse a "want" I will never deny him, but if it is inconvenient, I'll ask him to wait.

And I still think we are CLWers!

I'm not all that happy with this name change. I consider myself an EBFer but certainly not a child led weaner. My son is 2.5 and I am encouraging him to wean. This is not a positive change for me.

This is not a name change, this is a *new* subforum for mamas who are doing child led weaning.

i think it really seems like a name change becasue extended breastfeeding is gone--and so is getting started? is that right? i am not sure if i am a child lead nurser either, like some of these moms have expressed. i think having a forum for child lead weaning is FABULOUS but i am not sure why the others had to be cut out. i have concerns about that as well, as someone who has used all the BF forums here. i just wanted to voice that too, and i hope the others can get added back on.

unless its OK to post weaning questions on the child lead weaning board? like i dont get where i post stuff like that for my almost 3 YO nursling....i want support for EB but i dont want to feel like i am offending CLW moms by asking for help with mother lead weaning.

Wow, I'm :bawl. :LOL


Thank you Peggy, Cynthia and everyone else who played a role in this decision. I appreciate you taking the time to think it through, to make sure it would be a positive move for MDC. The wait was worth it. As with other aspects of natural parenting, I think it is so important to honor child-led weaning as a positive and important choice for NFL families.

:rainbow :love

and most of all.....
:grouphug!!!



:balloons

I'm glad to see the CLW forum added- though I will admit that I was confused by the way 2 other forums were combined at the same time. My first thought was that they had simply changed the names, until I read this post.

I have to say, I like the changes. The term "extended bf" has always bothered me because I don't think it's "extended" to nurse a 13mo baby!! I don't even think it's "extended" to nurse a 7yo. I think it's "premature" to wean a 1yo (though I have complete respect for whatever choices a woman makes for her own family.)

If there are going to be 4 bf forums, I could see naming them "getting started and overcoming difficulties," "nursing past infancy" "clw" and "support and advocacy."

I also feel I need to comment on this: "Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements."

It's a separate forum for moms who've chosen to do CLW. Nobody is forcing anybody to post on this thread. I avoid the Circumcision forum because I had my son circumcised for religous reasons when he was 8 days old and I intend to do the same if I'm blessed with any more sons. Does that particular forum exclude me? Yes it does, but I still belong at MDC!!!

No, it's a name change. I had a link in my favorites folder to EBF. It is now this forum. Thus they changed the name of EBF to CLW.

I see. I was confused because I was on threads that were in the EB forum so I thought that the EB forum had been changed to just "Breastfeeding" because all of the EB threads were there. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I am having another "what?????" :flipped moment - happenes to me a lot lately :LOL

I think there should be a place where it is safe to talk about the challenges of bfing an older child without the fear of being riddled with weaning advice

BUT~~~~

I have a (hopefully unfounded) fear that if someone is having a bad day, week, etc and wants some feedback on how to limit nursing they will be flamed :tiptoe
Maybe this is because this is where I am right now with my dd - the transition from unlimited, all access nursing to wanting her to wait until I finish eating, get off the tiolet :blush , etc.

Would this be the place? Extended bfing seemed more fitting, maybe because it didnt have the same kind of loaded title.

That said, Ill be here! :wave Please be kind. :hippie

i think they probably moved all the threads, then changed the name of the empty forum. i don't think this was meant to replace EBF - i think "breastfeeding" was meant to replace EBF and getting started - they just changed the old EBF to CLW for technical reasons (to avoid having to delete the EBF forum only to add the CLW forum). did that make sense? :LOL

I think that the only thing that we should all keep in check is respect.

I think if one has really strong feelings against CLWing they probably shouldn't be on this particulair forum.


For those wondering if they fit in, I think what's important with CLW is that the child leads the way in the *final* weaning. It's almost impossible not to set *some* limits with nursing. If you are planning on nursing until your child is ready to stop you most certainly belong in the CLW forum.


And I think that anyone who thinks that the way their nursing relationship is going would not be condoned by the strictest CLW'ers should still feel welcome in the CLW forum bc there are probably many definitions and interpretations to CLW, and this is something we can begin discussing in that forum to try and delineate the parameters of child led/respectful weaning.

I would welcome anyone in the "CLW Club" today, whether or not they were sure that they would remain members or even qualify. Sometimes I wonder if I do!



I have been "hanging out" on the CLW thread for quite some time now and there have *never* been negative opinoins expressed towards my DDs weaning or the limits I choose to place on my DS. There is a wide variety of behavior among "CLW"ers and I think you would and should all feel welcome


The term "extended bf" has always bothered me because I don't think it's "extended" to nurse a 13mo baby!! I don't even think it's "extended" to nurse a 7yo.


These statements sum up my thoughts too. :twothumbs


Also, this forum is not a name change. The title of this thread indicates so.


Welcome to our newest forum!

It is a new forum, not a name change.

No, it's a name change. I had a link in my favorites folder to EBF. It is now this forum. Thus they changed the name of EBF to CLW.
The reason your bookmark came to the CLW forum is because that's how it happened when they assigned a URL to the new board. It just happened that way when they did the combining of the two other boards. It left an empty URL and it of course would get assigned to the next newly created forum- which was CLW. Part of webmastering!

Okay, my $.02...
I'm all for a CLW forum. However, I don't know if I'm going to be doing CLW. I really liked the EBF forum, and would love to see it continued (maybe as Sustained BF instead?). I think the needs of EBFers are very different from those of the avg new mama, and as a pp said, the increased traffic could very well mean that new threads get submerged quickly. :(

So can we unmerge the EBF & Getting Started forums, and keep CLW as a new forum? Pleeese?

Sustained bfing is sononymous with clw bfing. That's why Sustainer is sustainer, because she believes strongly in sustained (clw) bfing. (Hope that's ok to speak for you Alice :blush :bag: )

A lot of us share your concerns about the merging Nate. However, on another thread today, Cynthia posted a request that we please give this new format a try first. She reminded us that this change is brand new and that they will be closely watching all activity to see if it's working or not.

Goodness! I don't think I would have gotten to 7 years if I hadn't sometimes set limits on my nursling. Heck, I figure there were some bridges I would have jumped off during the insanity of the 22-month binge (when she nursed hourly for a week or two!) or other times if I didn't just have some other tools in my toolbelt...even if that tool was not to sit down for a whole day...

I think clw is a mindset, but we all have days we have to get through, or situations that in themselves offer barriers to continuing...

Mary, who's sad that people think this is an all-or-nothing idea...imo, we all grow into clw, one day at a time.

My question: why is there such widespread confusion about what CLW is? I had no idea you could set limits and still CLW until recently and I am a fairly educated, pro-nursing natural living mama. I assumed CLW was some place I couldn't go because I had bad days and set limits.

Hmm...my interpretation was that Sustained just means longer than the traditional 3 month/6 month/one yr mindset in this country. I.e., it's synonymous w/ "Extended." B/c you can wean at 3 yrs, and that's definitely "sustained" or "extended" according to our culture--but maybe it's not CLW. KWIM?

Anyway, I know that it's going to take me a while to get my head around CLW being a place that's about more than "weaning" issues per se. I guess my concern is that anyone looking for a place to post questions about toddler nursing, when the questions aren't specifically about weaning, won't know where to go.

But sure, let's give it a chance & see how it works! :D

My question: why is there such widespread confusion about what CLW is? I had no idea you could set limits and still CLW until recently and I am a fairly educated, pro-nursing natural living mama. I assumed CLW was some place I couldn't go because I had bad days and set limits.

I don't think so, Monnie. I think of CLW as the child leading the way to the final cessation of nursing. I just think some limit setting and having "bad" days are part of being human mothers.

I think the relationship with each nursling is dynamic, and being open to how they respond to the limits. Limits can also help a mom keep going sometimes. I think it is being conscious of your choices and your goal. too.

I don't think so, Monnie. I think of CLW as the child leading the way to the final cessation of nursing. I just think some limit setting and having "bad" days are part of being human mothers.

I think the relationship with each nursling is dynamic, and being open to how they respond to the limits. Limits can also help a mom keep going sometimes. I think it is being conscious of your choices and your goal. too.

Wonderfully explained. :thumb

Anyway, I know that it's going to take me a while to get my head around CLW being a place that's about more than "weaning" issues per se. I guess my concern is that anyone looking for a place to post questions about toddler nursing, when the questions aren't specifically about weaning, won't know where to go.



I think that CLW has a start, a middle and an end.

The start, IMO, is when you realize the importance of the nursing relationship and how the babe is very much a vital part in that relationship. Thus, the beginning of a dynamic relationship begins. Here we are calling it CLW. Again in my opinion. By calling it this you are indicating that you believe your child to have a active role in the decision making in such a relationship.

All the challenges and successes of nursing a toddler can still be discussed here, if discusses with respect. CLW to me means you have a respectful nursing relationship, whether that be at the beginning mid or end KWIM?

One request for everyone that I have is that blanket statements be avoided.

Such as, "Choosing to nurse a toddler past five is inappropriate." would be the blanket statement.

Instead choose to say: "In my nursing relationship, choosing to nurse my child past five would feel inappropriate"

This way one only offers opinion on their own situation, this eliminates the feelings of general judgements that stem from blanket statements.

Thanks for the clarification, Joan. I hope it helps some others reading this as well.

ok. i just reread http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=162920&page=1&pp=20&highlight=clw

it was a great thread, & i am willing to backtrack & say ok, screw the potential divisiveness of the thing, a subforum is an excellent idea. (but of course i am saying this, not knowing ebf was going to bite the dust! those of us who were bemoaning the need for a name change, are you feeling guilt in retrospect like i am? if i'd known i might've laid off my desire for 'sustained' etc & lived with 'ebf'.)

but...

Suse,


I don't think it's a big deal that you weaned your child at age 7. I think that's awesome that you continued that long, and even better that you did it without much support. But I wouldn't call it child-led because you ultimately decided when it was time for your child to wean. Child-respectful weaning, yes. But child-led weaning is just that, logically, child-led-weaning. Not sure why it's such an issue here? You did great. :love

it was albeit sweetly said, but i did think it was still clear that i am not 'in the club'.
is everyone that calls themself clw comfortable with this? if your 7 yr old is still nursing, you can be certain you wouldn't sigh & start a little mother led weaning? but because you are adamant now, not knowing what the future may hold, you can join in.

i do not feel welcome in participating :(. *that* is why it's such an issue here.

i did not have a lot of questions to ask in ebf, but i hoped on a few occasions when mothers were frustrated with their *cough* more 'mature' nurslings, that i was able to help them work through a rough spot *without* weaning (i have never really thought much about weaning techniques; with teeny tinies like two and four yr olds, who needs to think of such far off concerns, lol? for that i have no advice.)

all i can think of is firemom's little girl's weaning party. the place to celebrate that belongs with helping new mamas with cracked nipples? (talk about scaring off the newbies!) it seemed to belong in ebf... but along with my posts, is excluded from this replacement forum.

sigh. i really, really do have things to share- my feelings when the dentist is shocked at nightnursing, weirdness about ebf my four yr old in front of relatives, telling him to wait- things that we have in common, all of us that ebf. i even love clw as a philosophy; i just feel excluding women who might, one day,choose to gently wean their 7 yr olds (and acknowledge that fact) is very... limiting.

btw, am i the only one who thinks it is weird that the two seperate issues of a) name change, & b) clw subforum, have been combined? there was not a pro-clw'r in the joint that advocated *killing* ebf. they just wanted their own forum (as i said before, i now agree- coolness.) was there some confusion?

(btw, there was no sarcasm in my last post, trust me.)

i hope it all gets straightened out to *everyone's* satisfaction, ciao, suse

Susey, I *do* think you have a place here. I guess the big picture of this forum is that no weaning will be advocated here. Also, I think the difference (which I feel certain you share) is that when you're more committed to CLW, the advice is going to be different. So, a woman coming here to vent about her 2.5 yo driving her crazy will not be met with "I know, I want to wean mine too!" "You know, you don't have to nurse her anymore" "This might be a good time to wean." Here I imagine the advice will all be more along the lines of "I understand what you're going through" "Hang in there" "Here's what helped me" "How about setting some gentle limits?" and other BTDT advice that encourages continuing to nurse. So I *do* think you could participate here and that you have a lot of valuable bfing experience to share and advice to offer.

all i can think of is firemom's little girl's weaning party. the place to celebrate that belongs with helping new mamas with cracked nipples? (talk about scaring off the newbies!)

am i the only one who thinks it is weird that the two seperate issues of a) name change, & b) clw subforum, have been combined? there was not a pro-clw'r in the joint that advocated *killing* ebf. they just wanted their own forum (as i said before, i now agree- coolness.) was there some confusion?


I share your concerns here. I'm thinking the only way it will really work is to put a lot of posts that would've been in the EB forum into the S & A forum. I can see how a lot of them would fit in there. I've had a hard time finding the difference between the S & A and the EB forum anyway. As of now, though, Cynthia is asking us to give this a trial run. I honestly do feel a little lost and confused and mostly have concerns about EBers & Newbfers being in the same forum, but I think we should give it a try.


:grouphug

Okay, Suse, first I had to take a deep breath to not take offense at your quoting me from an old thread that was not even a part of this thread. That seems a bit unethical to me, being that it was used in a somewhat negative way here. Then I had to back up and see it at face value. I see your point, and yes I do feel that you belong here if you are considering CLWing your children. Yes, I still do agree with what I said and it is still how I feel. However, I was not picking on you, as insinuated, and I was not trying to one-up you or "kick you out of the club" either. That is not my way.

I too remember Cindy's dd's weaning and it was a huge influence on me, knowing that everything will be okay if I let my dd lead the way too.

I have more to say but I will PM you to avoid further public confrontation. It is obviously personal and I am hoping that you are willing to work together to get past it so we can work together harmoniously here rather that butting heads all the time.
:rainbow

I just wanted to point out that there are plenty of other mamas here in the CLW forum who did not CLW one or more of their children but are now focusing on CLW for their other children. None of us has ever felt that they don't belong. They belong here every bit as much as anyone else who is CLWing. We cherish every one of them. This is such an important support system because it is the only one of its kind. We all need to know that we are not alone, and we are not crazy for trusting our children.

Everyone who is considering CLW is welcome here. I am sure there will be mothers who change their mind, but hopefully their time here will be invaluable and helpful. We are not going to boo them for it. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to sign a contract to enter. But please remain respectful. I didn't start out breastfeeding with the intention of letting my dd self-wean, I didn't even know what that meant. And I didn't even understand truly what it meant to CLW until dd was well past 4 or 5 (because I hadn't even heard the term). I just went with what felt right by my daughter, one step at a time. It is something I felt in my heart and I trusted it. I think it cheapens the term to put a clinical and strict definition on it. We all bring our diverse experiences to this forum. But we all have one thing in common, we all have a strong desire to let our children decide when it is time for themselves to wean.

We all do the best we can. And we all love our children, regardless of CLW PLW etc. This forum is not to one-up anyone or make anyone feel inferior. It is a much-needed support system. That is why I am still here, to offer support.

:rainbow :grouphug

:thumb


Ecstatically happy to see this forum.


:thumb










Having had a hand in the weaning of my two older children (weaned at 3 & 3.5 respectively), wanted to let the rest of them lead the way. And any discussion of this in the EBF forum and anywhere else really included all sorts of weaning/limiting suggestions.

Am anticipating that this specific forum will be where I can come for specific support on this specific issue. AND where those nursing past the comfort zone for some folks here (amazing that the comfort zone exists at MDC but true ... as evidenced by past threads) can find safe/nonjudgmental space.





Am anticipating that the lack of judgmentalism will go both ways ... that no one will be calling folks who've weaned their children "child abusers" or any such thing. :laugh: Yes, that's a joke. See the smilie? Here's another. :laugh:

Reading this thread more thoroughly ...

... knowing that we're not supposed to reference other threads, but one was instructive to me recently ... a mama having difficulty with nighttime nursing pain, and there were several responses; mine was to think about the cause of the pain, perhaps a chewing situation, and the others were to discuss nightweaning. Am thinking that this forum would be a place where the weaning suggestions just won't happen.

Am also thinking that this forum could be a place where someone whose 7yo weaned or was weaning could feel comfortable. After all, with a 7yo you can discuss the whole process (semi)rationally. Or hopefully, anyway (DS#1 is weeks from 7 and so am aware that rational discussion with 7yos is not necessarily realistic at all times :LOL). So to me there's a child-led with adult-input situation ... still appropriate.

Did that make sense?

Then again, if every single scenario has to be moderated, then that gets a little crazy, doesn't it.

Another reason to be glad that someone else does the moderating 'round here ...

:blush Hey Amy, I think I actually used that "child abuse" line, quoting dd, one time... :blush At any rate she did say it...another example of the illogic logic of that 7-y-old you're trying to reason with, I guess...

disclaimer: I at no time have thought that any mom weaning her child was guilty of child abuse...just quoted my very intense dd. IRL, I help moms to do so gently and respectfully all the time!!

I think it's great that this forum is here. I'd like it better if we had a different place for "getting started." tho this isn't how I feel personally, it makessense to me that some folks may feel like it's either quit while they're little (ie, before 1 year) or do clw andpotentialy nurse to 7years or whatever.

Me, I dunno, I guess right now I'm doing CLW b/c I am in no way pushing to wean, or planning to, tho I have some limits and do say no sometimes (not often tho). So I feel like I belong here. I could also see myself deciding to stop in a couple of years, and wanting a place to talk about weaning with other moms who've weaned older toddlers. Does that make sense? I think 3 forums would make sense- a getting started, a general nursding, and a clw.

anyhoo, tho, less defensiveness and less purism and we'll be fine.

never mind

wow, mamanatural, i can come? :lol
it really wasn't personal, sunshiney, as you'll see in pm. i just did a 'search'.

i still think it would be nice to be able to discuss the gentle weaning concept, for older nurslings especially; when i think 'child led' weaning without the baggage of earlier definitions, it includes mama's input too- i guess my discomfort is from my understanding of clw, defined here (in my interpretation) as not including mama in the decision.

obviously, i would also be annoyed by pita suggestions to wean when looking for solutions, not an end (i am not sure nightweaning suggestions qualifies for me as one of those irritations tho'; my babies would still to this day, nurse all night long- literally- if i kept them in my bed. they nurse so efficiently by late toddlerhood that they certainly don't need to be awake to do it! some desperate ladies here have been in need of more sleep to survive, & i have heard some almost asking for permission, as if they'd stopped being officially ap & were on the road to total weaning just because they HAD TO GET SOME SLEEP. nightweaning- of course within reasonable bounds, not if baby is sick or sad or lonely; take that child to bed!- can occur with many wonderful years of nursing still down the road. and i feel verboten from saying that here, you know?

i think what makes me sadder, thinking about it, is not the loss of ebf, but 'getting started'. that was a special forum & for those mamas to have to wade thru it all to get help... sigh. the LLL is great, but for those of us not close to meetings that forum was a blessing. a pushy broad like me is going to find *somewhere* to yap my opinion, but i'd hate for a single newbie bfing mama to get scared off by volume or content (me & my 7 yr old!!!), or overlooked. that is probably a bigger issue in the long run than the loss of my beloved ebf.

ok, on the assumption (or wait; can i quote you mama natch?;) ) that i AM invited (if i don't interrupt threads with weaning advice- which has, uh, never happened yet since the year 2000 when i first joined... weaning advice, other than how to get some sleep for a few hours, is not my forte), let me say that i am happy you (we?) got our own forum, if saddened by the loss (amalgamation) of others. congrats, & happy nursing those children with full dentition in the new year!

suse

edit: omg, who did it?!
after all these years... ok, ok, truce! (yes, i am actually :lol)

Just feeling compelled to point out that placing limits on nursing is not the same as weaning. As an example, my kids aren't allowed to pull my shirt up in public. If they do, no nursing, they have to wait till we're home. Just as an example. One of many.

After all, it's their drink/nutrition/comfort/etc., but it is my body. Just because they're still nursing doesn't mean that I've lost all control or right to control of my body, you know?

It is absolutely consistent with CLW to have certain limits.

IMO.

After all, it's their drink/nutrition/comfort/etc., but it is my body. Just because they're still nursing doesn't mean that I've lost all control or right to control of my body, you know?

yeah. absolutely. although when I tell dd that (usually when I'm feeling kind of frustrated) she gets upset. :LOL

Sorry, I just found this thread! I don't know how I missed it before!

First of all, a big thank you to the powers that be for providing this forum!

I prefer the term "child respectful weaning" myself. Was this one of the titles we voted on? I thought most preferred "bfing beyond infancy?"

Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements.

Child Led Weaning and Child Respectful Weaning are two different things.

"Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy" is the name we voted on to replace the name "Extended Breastfeeding."

There was a separate vote to create a "Child Led Weaning" forum.

Moms who do not do child led weaning still have the "breastfeeding" and "support and advocacy" forums. What's wrong with having a forum for child-led weaning? How is the name of the forum judgemental?

I think it is horrendously ostracizing and belittling, and most certainly 'loaded with value judgements'. Also exclusionary, as if every mama on MDC has chosen this path.
How is the mere creation of a child led weaning forum ostracizing or belittling or judgemental? As others have asked, does the existance of the homeschooling forum mean that every single MDC mama is supposed to homeschool? It is no more "exclusionary" than any other forum: the toddler forum is for moms of toddlers, the diapering forum is for moms who cloth diaper, etc. How is this forum any different from any of the others?

I think the majority of posters on the Extended Bfeeding forum do NOT practice CLW--- where are "they" supposed to go?

I realized that the EB forum has now been merged with getting started and overcoming difficulties. Hmmm, if I was doing mother led weaning, but extended bfing I think I wouldn't want to have the same forum where there are questions about newborns etc. I can understand being upset about the merging of those two forums.

I agree that there is still a need for a forum for people whose nurslings are older than 12 months but who are not necessarily clw. I think that that forum should have remained, but that the name of it should simply have been changed to the name that we voted on: "Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy." Mothers of nurslings who are no longer infants face unique challenges, whether they are clw or not.


Child-led weaners get their own sub-forum.

Did they want one?
Yes, we most definitely wanted one. :) We requested one most stenuously. :thumb

unless its OK to post weaning questions on the child lead weaning board? like i dont get where i post stuff like that for my almost 3 YO nursling....i want support for EB but i dont want to feel like i am offending CLW moms by asking for help with mother lead weaning.
I'd have to say that the child led weaning forum would not be the place to ask for help with mother led weaning. That would now have to be done in the breastfeeding forum. There is definitely still a need for a forum where people who are nursing children who are 2 or 3 years old or older can get support. Other than the clw forum.


Sustained bfing is sononymous with clw bfing. That's why Sustainer is sustainer, because she believes strongly in sustained (clw) bfing. (Hope that's ok to speak for you Alice )
For probably the first time at MDC, I actually have to disagree with you. Sustained breastfeeding is the term I prefer to replace the term Extended Breastfeeding. It simply means that you are continuing to breastfeed, and it implies that you are continuing to breastfeed past the culturally established limit, which in this country is 12 months. So I actually agree with Nate. I've always thought that the extended breastfeeding forum should be renamed sustained breastfeeding, but I was outvoted in favor of breastfeeding beyond infancy, so I supported the consensus. I also strongly believe in child led weaning, of course. CLW and Sustained Breastfeeding are two different things, but they do, of course, overlap.


there was not a pro-clw'r in the joint that advocated *killing* ebf. they just wanted their own forum
That's right - we didn't want the extended breastfeeding forum removed, just renamed. And then we wanted to have a clw forum in addition to a (renamed) ebf/sbf forum (the preferred name for which was "breastfeeding beyond infancy.")

I'm thinking the only way it will really work is to put a lot of posts that would've been in the EB forum into the S & A forum. I can see how a lot of them would fit in there. I've had a hard time finding the difference between the S & A and the EB forum anyway.
Once again, I find myself in disagreement with you. I think the "breastfeeding" forum would be more appropriate. I have always seen a definite difference between the eb and s&a forums, and I think they should each continue to have their own separate place. I'm more and more convinced of the need to bring the ebf/sbf/bbi forum back, but in the mean time I'd rather see the threads in bf than in s&a.

Sustainer, there was no need to quote me. I posted that several days ago, when I thought CLW had replaced EBF. Now I see Breastfeeding has replaced GS and EBF. Yet CLWs get their own forum. The powers that be have spoken.

Sorry, I didn't realize your comments were no longer relevent.

Wow, what a wonderful surprise! Thank you so much! I logged in, went to go to EBF and at first I wondered where EBF had gone and then saw this. W'HOO! DS turned 4 on Tuesday... we're still at it and this forum is just what I need right now. A welcome site in deed! :D

I feel sad that now, at mothering no less, a bf forum is titled "weaning". Child-led, whatever, it's still about the weaning not the bf-ing. :(

If clw-ers want their own forum bc they want a place to talk about older nurslings, then what does clw-ing have to do with 7-yo mother-led weaners or 3-yo self-weaners? Childled weaning can happen at 2yo, too. What's the big deal about clw?
(and yes, I understand the issues. I have a 5.5 yo nursling who is nowhere near weaning and will self-wean when her time comes)


ETA after looking around a bit in the forum, I see the point even less. They are pretty much all ebf threads. :confused:

I am In LOVE with breastfeeding beyond infancy!!!!!!!!

And simonee :wink

It's not a forum about weaning. It's a forum for nursing mamas who plan to let their child lead the weaning process to talk about breastfeeding.

I feel sad that now, at mothering no less, a bf forum is titled "weaning". Child-led, whatever, it's still about the weaning not the bf-ing. :(


I think it's safe to say that, to mothers who clw at least, the word 'wean' in the context of CLW is actually a healthy word to be celebrated, not one full of anxiety, negativity and stress on either part of mother and/or child. I believe this forum was put here to encourage mothers to consider it. It is an invaluable breastfeeding journey. Everyone's journey is different but they all end in the same place, with the child's decision to wean. It's not all about "weaning", it's a celebration of the journey, IMHO.

I am In LOVE with breastfeeding beyond infancy!!!!!!!!



I wish we had a forum named that.

No offense guys, but requests for other forums should be placed in the requests forum. Child-Led Weaning has already been determined to be a new forum. It did not take the place of EB nor does it have anything to do with the EB poll/vote on a name change. It is a separate issue. Please be respectful.

if you want to join us, join us.

:rainbow

It is an invaluable breastfeeding journey. Everyone's journey is different but they all end in the same place, with the child's decision to wean. It's not all about "weaning", it's a celebration of the journey, IMHO.

Nicely said, Michelle :love

Yay!! I just saw this, but am so glad to see the new forum(am sad that eb is gone...but we'll see how that turns out). And just in the nick of time for me. :LOL
:love Debi