what to do three years after death?

[Mallory]

I used to teach at a preschool and one of the girls in my class died of lukiemia 3 years ago november. Several times in the past month or so I have found myself thinking of her and her mom. I am thinking about wrinting her mom a note just to tell her that. Shortly after she died we moved across the country and I haven't talked to her mom since, but I was a large part of her daughters life for a couple of years.
I am just a little unsure of how to act. Am I going to look too crazy if I have to do a lot to track her down? Not thst I think she still doesn't think about the girl, but is it going to look strange to get a card from someone you haven't seen in three years? What are your thoughts, especially if you have lost a child. Would you want a note from thier teacher?

[lisamarie]

Mallory~

What a warm heart you have!!!:heartbeat Sometimes, indivduals come into our lives and touch us so and they are unforgetable. It sounds like this little girl and her mom really touched you deeply. I have never lost a child, my loss was my dh. But, IMHO think receiving such a thoughtful note would be comforting. Knowing that others DO remember. Sometimes, life just seems to go on for people around us, following a loss. Having someone actually remember AND acknowledge the day would really touch me.

Let us know how it goes!

Take Care~

Lisa:hug

[Mallory]

Okay I guess what is really strange is that I really have to track her down to find her. Its not like she lives across town and I ran into her at the store. I have moved states away and I think she has too. So if someone who worked with your husband and you didn't really know (I might have spent eight hours a day with the girl but maybe saw the mom for 10 hectic minutes dropping off or picking up) tracked you down just to say she had thought of you, you wouldn't think they were weird?

[rainsmom]

No WAy! I think it would be an honor to her memory that you cared enough to contact her. Its always uncomfortable for the people on the outside, but speaking from experience, it is so appreciated. Im sure sometimes she thinks shes the only one who hasnt forgotten.

[lisamarie]

No. When my dh died, some friends of my parents (I played soccer w/their daughter and he was also an assist. coach of mine), sent me a sympathy card. It had been probably 6 years since I had seen them and they moved across the US. I was so touched that they thought of me.

Hugs~

Lisa:hug

[miriam]

To Mallory and Mothering Friends:

Sending the little girl's mother a card or note at this point would be very sweet not weird.

One of the saddest things about a death is the fear that the deceased will be forgotten. Especially a young child upon whom we place much hope and dreams. It is like a second death.

Go ahead and send her a card. Let us know the outcome.

G-d bless you.

[hahamommy]

I agree, send a note :thumb "just thinking of so-n-so today, wanted you to know" would be perfect ~ to be reminded that your loved one lived and touched the lives of others is never a bad thing :love I have a good friend with whom I shared a wedding anniversary, I've continued to get anniversary cards from her. I love that she has the wherewithall to acknowledge something that is painful to so many others. :heartbeat

[Mallory]

Well I have sent out a couple of e-mails (to other teachers) I'll see if I get any leads. :love

[abimommy]

I am sure she would be very touched that you were thinking of her.

[smarmie]

Three years ago I lost my 2 day old baby. We light a candle on the first and blow it out together on the third. This year we recieved flowers from my husbands dad who is the last person we thought we would hear from about this. I was so touched that he remembered my baby that I cried. He was the only one, and it meant more than words can say!
So happy you are trying to find her. And the fact that you are not a regular part of her life means even more!