I went into the shrink today. Thankfully I had a somewhat bad night last night after starting to watch ER and deciding that it might send my anxiety too high and shutting it off. I know it sounds crazy to say that I'm thankful for that, but since my anxiety seems to be cycling and I've been in a good cycle the last two weeks (since I made the appointment -- doesn't that figure :eyesroll ) I didn't want to just go in there and say "really, hey, I've been doing great" which is what I would have done had I not had a bad night last night. I told him what has been going on the last few months -- I've slowly been going downhill. I'm still totally functional and have weeks that I don't notice symptoms at all, but the bad days are becoming more and more, and I know that it's just a matter of time before I have a full blown panic attack again.

We talked about whether I should go on meds again or wait, and I decided that it would be better to go on now, that suffer for a few more months until I'm even worse and then start.

But for some reason, I can't take the pill.

Anyone want to be a cheerleader for me?

I'll be your cheerleader. You deserve to feel better. Your family deserves you at your best. It is just a pill- it doesn't mean anything. Why are you working so hard? It is ok to need some help. Spring is coming and you want the sun to come out. What else can I say? You have made a decision it sounds like you felt good about and now I fear it is the depression making the decision not to take the pill. Never let the depression vote. It doesn't want you healthy.

Beth> If you havent taken them yet, well... let me say i do get it. really. the head is a dangerous place to play. up, down, around we go...
If you made the decision than stick with it. At least for now. Give it a good shot and allow something to work for you. Im right there with Ya :nod
~L

:hug They've helped me tremendously.

I did that exact same thing with my second. I reallly wish I hadn't. I have a lot of guilt, because I *knew* better, but made a bad decision and wouldn't listen to anyone. It was so much harder to rebound. I think you hit the nail on the head when you say sooner is better. You wrote that the bad days are more and more----so, help is here, and it's ok to utilize it! You and your family deserve you feeling good----plus, medication is not forever.

You deserve to feel better.

"Never let the depression vote. It doesn't want you healthy"

thank u for this...really...i've been letting it 'vote' for too long..i had a good 6 months or so (well ok, not that good but at least was getting out of bed and have been cooking and cleaning again)...and the past month or so it's creeping back...

i dont EVER want to be where i was...

Jish if the meds work and you dont experience bad side effects then do it if u've tried everything else...u deserve it...really...
praying for everyone 'in the fog' ...

I would take the meds. REally you deserve to feel like "you" or just better in general. Meds have helped me a lot. You need to feel better and then you will be better for your family.

Glad you went to see someone about your problems. Good luck and hope you are feeling better soon!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!I'll chear you on and you can chear me on.....yoiu don't want to go back to yucky feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug

megan

They've helped me tremendously. It kind of makes me mad sometimes that I feel good about myself and my family because of some little blue pill, but it IS working......I hope you give the meds a chance too. Hugs and good luck!

When I went on meds, I stared at the bottle for what seemed like forever. I put it on top of my computer moniter and just watched it like it was going to bite me if I let my eyes wander. I finally took one and my life has been a million times better since.

Hello, i just wanted to add i LOVE my meds. It was the best thing i ever did. I am on meds now since after my 1st & wow, what a difference. It took me a few times to get the right ones but once i did my life is so much better. I tried 2 times to go off of them withg the help of my doctor, well i felt horrible so i am still on them.

Get a glass of water.
Put the pill in your mouth.
Take a sip, and swallow.
:hug

Come and talk about it. You'll get through this.

Hey guys, sorry I've not been around. I couldn't get online for about a week.

Anyway, I went ahead and started taking the Lexapro again last Saturday. It was a lifesaver for me two years ago and you wouldn't think that it would be an issue since I'd been down that road (actually a much worse road) two years ago. I've been cycling through good weeks and bad weeks, but the good weeks are becoming less and the bad weeks more (actually, this past week hasn't been really pleasant. :eyesroll ) I think that some of it was dealing with the side effects. Last time I went on, I was so sick that the side effects were a welcome experience from what I had been going through. This time though, I was still so functional that dealing with that stuff didn't seem like fun. Thankfully, the only side effect has been some fatigue. Nothing a afternoon nap can't fix.

Anyway, thanks to all you cheerleaders out there. :love

Hope Lexapro helps you soon. I know what you mean about good days and bad days. I just went back to the doc today. She is changing me to a drug called Cymbalta. I've been on Zoloft for about 5 years, it is not seeming to do the trick. I am having a lot of sad periods..