Am I crazy?

[mamagoose]

I'm 31 1/2 weeks w/my first and have decided (late, I know) to switch from an OB/hospital practice to a midwife/birth center practice. I have never felt completely comfortable with my OB, though like her fine -- I just never felt totally at ease with the whole medical model of "treating" pregnancy & labor. Then, a month ago I read Henci Goer's book and that sealed the decision to leave the OB model behind for me.

I firmly believe that birthing is a natural process, that pain is a natural and even desirable (in the sense that it means the uterus is doing what it's supposed to do) part of the process, and that medical interventions, including drugs and epidurals, are far more risky than they are helpful. I want to give birth naturally in a calm, supportive environment, which this birth center is.

The nagging thought I have at the back of my mind is whether or not I'm truly capable of this: I am not a super athletically fit person (though before pregnancy worked out several times per week and during have been trying to exercise/walk frequently, though haven't been as active as I'd hoped), I've never taken a yoga class, I haven't meditated (though have done relaxation exercises) -- am I crazy to try natural childbirth? I know intellectually that the pain will be intense and excruciating, and intellectually I'm not afraid of it, but when actually faced with it, will I be able to deal?

Did any of you find yourselves in a similar situation and then surprise yourself either by NOT being able to handle natural labor, or by being able to when you weren't totally sure you could?

[LoveChild421]

I think you're on the right track mamagoose- seems like you're just doubting yourself a little, which I think is normal- I want to know what other mamas have to say but I'm sure that most of the natural birthing mamas here are not super-athletes or yoga masters or anything.

From the mamas I have talked to it seems that it does help to walk, be in reasonable shape (which it totally sounds like you are), etc but when it comes down to it- it's more of the state of your mind and spirit than the your fitness status that matters.

It sounds like we are going down similar paths- I switched mid-pregnancy from hospital based midwives to a homebirth midwife (although I use the hospital based one for back-up and tests) and have never been happier with my decision. My homebirth midwife loaned me some tapes of her mamas giving birth and all of them cope with pain differently- some seem to feel no intense pain, some quite a bit- but all of them made it through and none of them appeared to be extra "fit" or anything.

Don't doubt yourself- don't forget the possibility that you may not feel intense pain- you may actually feel pleasure or some form of it or just intense "sensations"- I really like keeping this in mind because it helps me relax and hopefully I will view my first contractions not so much as "hmm..lets see...how much does this hurt" but "wow what is this sensation like?" have you read the threads on ecstatic birth? I first learned about it in "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin- reading that book has given me a lot of confidence.

We can do it mama!

[our veggie baby]

Well, I don't think you're crazy at all...I have decided at 26 weeks (first baby too!) to switch from OB/hospital birth to a MW assisted homebirth!

I was overweight pre-pregnancy and not too "fit" really (though I have youth on my side etc)....

I think most everything is mental, so I am preparing myself mentally A LOT and just preparing/hoping for the best! It also is comforting to know that we live literally 5 minutes from the hospital (even in rush hour!)....so if things got bad, even if I was in too much pain and I didn't think I could handle it or just got scared, I would always have the option of going.... I feel you, especially with this being my first baby, I know intellectually the pain will be BAD, but I have nothing to compare it to--on the other hand, it will end...it may not seem like it, but it will end, the pain is not forever, and at the end of it I will be blessed with a tiny, beautiful, perfect human being....and I will be in the comfort of my own home to do as I please with her, with myself, my own "territory" etc....so that kind of gets me through it (let's see if it does while I am pushing lol)

I think you can do it, I really do!! Good luck!!!

[littlebeagle]

I didn't use pain medication with my first 2 pg's, and I don't plan on using it with my 3rd. I don't think being athletic has anything to do with it. It's just a matter of having the conviction of sticking it out. And actually, it's not all that bad if you just take it one contraction at a time, instead of overwhelming yourself, thinking that you're not done yet. Though the pain was intense, it really wasn't that bad. They say it's the worst pain ever, but I'm quite certain there could be many other things that would hurt more- oooh, like a broken leg with a bone sticking through your skin or something!
Seriously though, I think it is totally doable. Maybe you can continue with your OB but just request certain things. I see an OB and still was able to do the med-free birth in a hospital.
Bottom line: If you really want this, I think you can do it! :thumb

[sarajane]

Your not alone on the fear factor. I have up till know not given it a thought but now that it is drawing near I get nervous at times. I know we are made for this and I know I can "get through" it. I just still fear it sometimes. I am not in the best shape which makes me angry because I used to be and I get pregnant the moment I am not. Figures right? Well, I can't say I have worked really hard during my pregnancy to get into shape either. There has always been something in my way like being sick or feeling down and just not caring for a time. All those emotional ups and downs I felt made me just want to sit around for awhile.

I am walking and stretching and such but not near enough in my book. I don't know what kind of difference these things makes. I have heard it can make labor shorter by a few hours or so depending on the person. That is all I have heard and I try to think about what a few hours really means. I mean, will a few hours make that big of a difference? I doubt it.