mamatoady
03-30-2005, 05:54 AM
For the new mamas
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I was thinking maybe we should start a thread for things we wish people had told us about gear, expenses, and expectations for our first babies. I bought a lot of crap that we never used. Also, there were things I learned the hard way that I wish someone had just mentioned to me.
I'm sure there will be more, but just off the top of my head, here are a few things I was thinking about:
1) Find an IBCLC who will come to your home, and make contact before you give birth. It can make an enormous difference in the success of your nursing relationship.
2) Go ahead and spring for a really good convertible carseat when you get one. Common lore is that it's fine to turn babies front facing at one year and twenty pounds, but the crash test results are staggering if you do that. It's much, MUCH safer to keep children rearfacing considerably longer, and there are rearfacing convertible seats out there that go to 35 pounds.
3) Don't bother with a crib right now. If you decide later that you want one, get one then. I never thought we'd cosleep, but my daughter's expensive crib has been empty for almost three years now. If you're not sure you want to start out cosleeping, try a cradle or pack-n-play or something next to the bed, then buy a crib later if it really turns out that your child is not sleeping in your bed.
4) Forget about trying to figure out the perfect stroller before the birth. It's not possible. Most people I know wind up with several, and they're never the ones that we bought when we were still pregnant. You can't know how you'll use it until you have some practice and see what kind of baby you have. Don't spend a fortune yet.
5) Get a sling or pouch and get some help learning to use it. If you have a partner, make sure that person learns, too.
6) Read the stuff at www.spinningbabies.com . It's advice about how to turn a malpositioned baby, but by reading what to do to fix it, you can also help prevent your baby from settling incorrectly to begin with. My daughter was posterior, and I had a very difficult 38-hour labor. I found spinningbabies afterwards, and realized that the way I'd been sitting and functioning just about assured that she would be posterior. Wish I'd known ahead of time.
7) People talk about the baby blues, but I was totally, completely unprepared for how frightened and vulnerable I would feel as the mother of a newborn. The whole world suddenly seemed so dangerous. It was very unnerving, because nobody had ever told me to expect it. But in comparing notes with other new moms, I quickly learned that it's something most new mothers go through. I wish someone had told me before it happened to me. I still would have been scared and vulnerable, but at least I wouldn't have complicated matters by wondering if I'd gone crazy as well.
I'm sure I'll think of more... everyone chime in!
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The only thing I would add is to #1, as far as the lactation consultant, I would get in touch with Le Leche League. They love it when pregnant mama's come and learn and share and get-to-know before baby is born and IMO can be more helpful than a LC sometimes.
Sarah
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I was thinking maybe we should start a thread for things we wish people had told us about gear, expenses, and expectations for our first babies. I bought a lot of crap that we never used. Also, there were things I learned the hard way that I wish someone had just mentioned to me.
I'm sure there will be more, but just off the top of my head, here are a few things I was thinking about:
1) Find an IBCLC who will come to your home, and make contact before you give birth. It can make an enormous difference in the success of your nursing relationship.
2) Go ahead and spring for a really good convertible carseat when you get one. Common lore is that it's fine to turn babies front facing at one year and twenty pounds, but the crash test results are staggering if you do that. It's much, MUCH safer to keep children rearfacing considerably longer, and there are rearfacing convertible seats out there that go to 35 pounds.
3) Don't bother with a crib right now. If you decide later that you want one, get one then. I never thought we'd cosleep, but my daughter's expensive crib has been empty for almost three years now. If you're not sure you want to start out cosleeping, try a cradle or pack-n-play or something next to the bed, then buy a crib later if it really turns out that your child is not sleeping in your bed.
4) Forget about trying to figure out the perfect stroller before the birth. It's not possible. Most people I know wind up with several, and they're never the ones that we bought when we were still pregnant. You can't know how you'll use it until you have some practice and see what kind of baby you have. Don't spend a fortune yet.
5) Get a sling or pouch and get some help learning to use it. If you have a partner, make sure that person learns, too.
6) Read the stuff at www.spinningbabies.com . It's advice about how to turn a malpositioned baby, but by reading what to do to fix it, you can also help prevent your baby from settling incorrectly to begin with. My daughter was posterior, and I had a very difficult 38-hour labor. I found spinningbabies afterwards, and realized that the way I'd been sitting and functioning just about assured that she would be posterior. Wish I'd known ahead of time.
7) People talk about the baby blues, but I was totally, completely unprepared for how frightened and vulnerable I would feel as the mother of a newborn. The whole world suddenly seemed so dangerous. It was very unnerving, because nobody had ever told me to expect it. But in comparing notes with other new moms, I quickly learned that it's something most new mothers go through. I wish someone had told me before it happened to me. I still would have been scared and vulnerable, but at least I wouldn't have complicated matters by wondering if I'd gone crazy as well.
I'm sure I'll think of more... everyone chime in!
-----------------
The only thing I would add is to #1, as far as the lactation consultant, I would get in touch with Le Leche League. They love it when pregnant mama's come and learn and share and get-to-know before baby is born and IMO can be more helpful than a LC sometimes.
Sarah