Proud to be a SAHM?

[chersolly]

I'm a worldly, strong, well-educated woman and when people ask me what I do, I have a hard time saying "SAHM". I hate to believe that I'm ashamed but I don't want people to assume that I'm a housewife - because I am not. Anyone else have this problem?

[hlkm2e]

I'm with you. I believe those things about myself, also. I think the problem is we know society doesn't have the same beliefs about us. So, we know that when we say we are SAHM, we may have to have a conversation where we defend ourselves, or have to convince the person that we don't sit around all day, or that yes we are lucky but we work hard, etc. And it just gets tiring having that conversation.

[Mom4tot]

I'm with you. I believe those things about myself, also. I think the problem is we know society doesn't have the same beliefs about us. So, we know that when we say we are SAHM, we may have to have a conversation where we defend ourselves, or have to convince the person that we don't sit around all day, or that yes we are lucky but we work hard, etc. And it just gets tiring having that conversation.


I agree with this. Sometimes I find myself wanting to justify by explaining my work history :LOL I think certain people mke assumptions about SAHM's and they are not always flattering or even accurate. I am 'proud' of the choice I have made, but I find it difficult to be appreciated by some parts of society.

[annakiss]

This is why I have a hard time telling people what I do. I don't really like the titles I'm offered - SAHM, housewife, mom... None of them really describe what I do. Not that I could really list on a resume what all my duties are without taking up two or three pages. I guess in a way I still consider myself to be an artist and a writer, though I've never done those things professionally by any means, and that's more about me than my kids are, if that makes sense. I occupy my time by being a domestic goddess, yes. And I think about the needs of my household almost constantly and work on finding creative solutions for things that we need, etc., but that doesn't define me, yk?

I think that there's a problem with the assumptions we have about what one does, for one thing, be that being an insurance adjuster or a movie star or a SAHM. Everyone has to do dishes and laundry and clean their house, yk? Everyone with kids has to parent. And it's not like those things are what we're looking for when we ask one another, "So what do you do?" even though those things may very well occupy more of one's time than an outside job. So there's a problem with implications and there's a problem with semantics. I think I usually talk too much, so for instance this weekend at a wedding shower I asked an old friend what she was up to and she explained what her job was and that she liked marketing, then I went on & on about birth and fertility and what my son was like and how I'm hormonal and going crazy with him, but that I enjoy the flexibility of being at home and how we want to homeschool, but that one day I'd like to pursue midwifery, yadda yadda yadda. It seems, I suppose, far more interesting and complex than marketing though. :shrug :bag:

[Eman'smom]

I always feel the need to work into the conversation "before I quit to stay home with my kids I did....... That my degree is in ......., that I worked for X years before making this choice". I think the hard thing is since society doesn't value what we are doing as work I need to prove to people that I have marketable skills KWIM? That I'm not some lazy person that isn't working because either I can't or that I wanted the "easy" life of staying home with toddlers. :LOL

[jessemoon]

I tend to say something like "Well, right now I am focusing on being a mom to my little one...but at some point I will probably go back to teaching." I don't know why I feel like I have to mention that I had a career prior to ds's birth...but I usually do.

[MamaFae]

Wow! What a timely thread for me!

I have been feeling very out of sorts lately about being defined as "just a mom". ARGH! That phrase irks me to no end. :irked: And it is so hard not to get defensive about it.

I am out with my two boys that are close in age (2 and 3 3/4) and obviously very pregnant with my 3rd and I feel like I get these disapproving, knowing looks from strangers everywhere I go. It could be in my mind, but I swear I got that "look" from a neighbor just yesturday while I was bringing them inside and she was out walking her ugly little rat dog that she never picks up after (yes I am a bit bitter). :hopmad

I just can't help but wonder how some people who judge the SAHM's as less productive members of society would fair in our shoes. I mean my goodness! Look at all we do in a day! :laundry :dishes :learning: just to list a few!

And this week DH is out of town, so I have been doing everything. I tell you I never worked so hard in all my life. And I agree that all the "titles" people have come up with to try to make SAHMing sound more glamorous or more important to society don't really do it justice. Although I do like domestic goddess because it makes me feel better. :D

It is really hard to explain to those who haven't done it. And it is hard when we feel the need to justify what we do with what we did before we were moms because society doesn't place a value on mothering. I guess the only thing we can do is to stop giving those explinations and claim mothering in its own right as the most important job period.

Blessings,
N~

[sparkprincess]

I'm very proud of what I do!

That's not to say I don't worry about what other people think. Especially since I never went to college and even though I worked prior to ds I wouldn't call it a career by any means!

Please don't take this unkindly, but you mamma's are just like the ones that make me feel inferior. ;) When I meet someone new and they ask what I do, I state that I'm a stay-at-home mom and then they say "oh, I have a degree in x and x and did x before having kids, but now I'm a SAHM". Serouisly, I don't need your whole personal history! :LOL ( I say all this light-heartedly)

I like to think that I'm more than being a mom too, I have lot's of hobbies, but it would be weird to say "Oh, I knit, scrapbook, and work for my husband's co. on the side"..... People would be like "Okayyyyy".

[AJP]

Well, I am a "housewife" and don't care if people think of me that way, but I didn't have a career, per se, prior to being a mom, so I might have more of a hangup about it if I did. I grew up with a very feminist influence (and that's part of who I am, even though I'm not happy with many things about the feminist movement today), which included a negative association with that housewife word and image, but realized in my early 20s, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, that's what I wanted to be (but didn't actually "stay home" until our son was born when I was 29). That didn't make all my other interests evaporate or become trivial. I didn't personally identify with my jobs, they were a source of income and nothing more. It's always annoyed me to feel like someone is trying to put me in a cubby hole by figuring out what I "do", whether it was in school (where you're identified by who you hang out with and what your grades are) or in the adult, working world, and I always had this kind of perverse desire to remain un-categorizable. So I've had a lof of practice not caring what other people think of me. I know I'm intelligent, capable and have a very wide range of interests, my husband knows it, so will my kids. I've made peace with answering "mom" or "domestic goddess" to the inevitable question of "So, what do you do?" and if the person thinks I'm Just A Mom that's their problem. The people who care about me, the ones who actually matter, know me far beyond being a SAHM/housewife/whatever other label society would apply to me.

[MamaAllNatural]

I don't want people to assume that I'm a housewife - because I am not.

This is what I want to avoid too. I do feel very good about being a SAHM, I just don't really apply the word "proud" to much ... but if I did, I might even use that word. :shrug

I agree with this. Sometimes I find myself wanting to justify by explaining my work history :LOL

:LOL I can relate to this as well!


Please don't take this unkindly, but you mamma's are just like the ones that make me feel inferior. When I meet someone new and they ask what I do, I state that I'm a stay-at-home mom and then they say "oh, I have a degree in x and x and did x before having kids, but now I'm a SAHM". Serouisly, I don't need your whole personal history! ( I say all this light-heartedly)

I don't think anyone is saying we'd feel the need to list our credentials/personal history to another SAHM. Just sometimes to people who are judging and don't understand SAHMing. ;)

I am much more than a mom too. :thumb

[dharmamama]

I don't feel "proud" to be a SAHM. It's just what I do. Do I believe it's the best thing for my kids? Absolutely, but that doesn't make me proud. To me, it's just an "I'm their mom, I take care of them" thing. (And if I were a SAHD, it'd be an "I'm their dad, I take care of them" thing.)

I don't feel any need to highlight my work history, because that has no bearing on what I do now, and I'm not the type to identify myself by occupation anway. IMO, if you tell people that you are a SAHM but then are quick to add what you used to do, you yourself are the one devaluing being a SAHM.

I have found that most people are impressed that I stay home with the kids, because it's not the norm these days. They don't see me as uneducated or unmotivated. Most people recognize that being a SAHM these days is a lot of work.

But I don't really care what people think of what I do. I'm not doing it for them.

Namaste!

[artgoddess]

I really love being a SAHM, and I think that shows if someone asks me. I don't really get the "what do you do?" question, I'm sure because it's obvious and DS is always with me. I might hear, "Do you get to stay home with him?". In that case the asker is already letting me know they think it's a good thing if my answer is yes.

If someone does ask what I do, I just beam and say that I'm a mom! I think my not feeling embarassed additude carries a lot with others, cause I have never felt as though someone didn't think that was enough.

[philomom]

Well. I fudge on this one. I am so tired of being at a cool party and have folks wander off after I announce I'm a SAHM. So, I do work one morning a week at the local hospital. To strangers, this is what I tell them I do. I get a great answer. have great conversation and no one is the wiser of all their own "baggage".

I am proud of having raised my own kids. I just refuse to be treated like a non-person for doing so.

[thoesly]

I have no problem saying, "I'm a mom," when people ask me what I do. What I find funny is that no one accepts that. There's always a follow-up question like, "Well, what did you do before you had kids?" or "And what do you do during the day?" I don't mind the questions, but they seem odd when they aren't part of a "real" conversation. I chalk it up to curiosity since it's not the norm.

(Oh, and I wouldn't mind being a "housewife" either. My mother is a housewife who puts June Cleaver to shame. I called one night and she was ironing the couch. Seriously. She's a little obsessive, but she's the hardest working person I know and I grew up with enormous respect for her).

[JavaFinch]

I never used to feel this way - when ds was a baby and toddler I felt very proud to be a SAHM. But now that he's 6 and I only have him, I feel a little more self-conscious, like my job is too 'easy' being a sahm to one child who is 6, even though I do home school.

I had a good career before ds and I did plan to work PT after I had him, but for ME, and especially with the long commute, even part time would have been too much time away. I sometimes wish I could just pop back into my old job (it would take a lot of effort to regain what I've lost over 6+ years) a couple days a week, but for the most part, I'm happy with my easy-going life being a SAHM of one child - and hopefully someday I will have another.

[hairylegs]

What a well timed thread! I was with my SIL (an MD) and my brother (a minister) and a family friend. Family friend is chatting it up about saving lives and souls all the while I'm thinking, "Okay, well, this week, I tried a new recipe and scrubbed the toilet, and ds is finally potty trained and improving on his social interactions." When the conversation turned to me, the family friend says, "So....how's your husband?"

It's so frustrating to me that mothers don't get the recognition they deserve. I AM proud to be a SAHM. I'm also proud to be a knitter, baker, gardener, wife and domestic goddess. And I think that's what I'll answer when folks ask from now on. "What do you do?" I am a domestic goddess.

[HelloKitty]

I feel this way a lot, I feel like I have to explain my work history before saying I'm a SAHM. But then after I do that I get annoyed with myself because I should be proud to be a SAHM, and I feel like I'm doing a disservice to those SAHMs that don't have a big work history that they can talk about. KWIM?

I have a sweet story to share though - yesterday I asked my 15 year old to get me another cup of coffee and I handed him my cup - the cup I had been using was one of DH's firefighter mugs and it said something like "Getting ready to be a hero", the 15 year old jokingly says "Haha, how are you gonna be a hero today staying home?" Well my 11 year old speaks up and says "She's a hero every day - she's a Mom" Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. :happyt:

[wildmonkeys]

I usually say that I am a social worker and a mother. If they press I say that I am home fulltime right now but doing a bit of freelance research and writing for my old boss (as well as teaching gymnastics!).

For me it isn't about not being proud of being a sahm it is about the fact that I know this "gig" is a short stint. In 3ish years I will probably be back working more and more (however, my main focus will still be being a mom!) I just feel it is a more accurate description of who I am and what I do...I have been a mom for 5 years...I have been a social worker for 10 and I plan to do both for the rest of my life, ykwim?

I also think that being a mom or a professional are too often presented as all or nothings and that indicating that I am fully emerged and thrilled with being a mom doesn't mean I have thrown in the towel on my profession when the kids get older - I think that is good for working and sahms - you know?

BJ
Barney & Ben

[JavaFinch]

I also think that being a mom or a professional are too often presented as all or nothings and that indicating that I am fully emerged and thrilled with being a mom doesn't mean I have thrown in the towel on my profession when the kids get older - I think that is good for working and sahms - you know?


True. But sometimes it is all or nothing - it was for me, and I'm fine with that.

[~Quse~]

I'm a SAHM, I absolutely LOVE it, and I have no problem telling people what I do. I never feel the need to explain myself either. I'm surprised more mom's aren't responding this way to this thread...BEING A SAHM ROCKS!

[mamaroni]

I guess I have to say that I'm proud when I really think about it. I do struggle though. I miss working (and doing adult activities) quite a bit. Working in my career is all or nothing, there is no part-time. I don't generally tell anyone that I'm an attorney when I first meet them (I say I'm a domestic engineer!), but I will get it in the conversation if an opportunity presents itself. I was actually slammed on a thread when I first came to MDC -- told I was "wasting" my law degree by sahming. you just can't please everyone! But yeah, I'm proud. I need to be here for my kids and I feel good about it.

I'm not really sure I *like* sahming, but I guess that's for another thread!

BTW, this is my first post in this forum. :wave I bet I'll be here a lot :D

[OTMomma]

I used to feel that way. I used to always tell people about my degree (see my user name?) and I even worked part time for a little while (like 4 hours a week) so I wouldn't "just" be a SAHM. But now, I've realized how lucky I am and when people ask what i do I say

"I am Blessed to be staying home with my little girl"

I don't feel proud or ashamed or inferior or superior to other women because of this. I feel very blessed to be able to afford to stay home with my child and I let everyone know that. This answer also makes others smile and I've never had a negative reaction to it.

[Leatherette]

I am glad to be a SAHM for a while, but my work before kids was (and is) important to me. I was (am) a special education teacher. I am lucky that my work is related to what I am doing at home now. I feel like my work has given me advantages with my parenting, and that being a parent will make me a better teacher when I go back to work. I have a whole new level of understanding about child development now.

So I am not ashamed to be a SAHM, but I do not plan to do this forever. I will spend much more of my life as a working mom and teacher. I guess I would be "proud" to be a stay at home mom if I thought I was awesome at it. I think I am very good, and about as good as I was as a teacher. If someone loves to be a SAHM and is homeschooling (!!!), I think that is great and more power to them. I am not that person.

I think SAHMing is the hardest work I have ever done. Harder than working in juvenile detention and on psychiatric units and in adult group homes. That is my hesistation in saying "I love it". I am bone tired.

BTW, I have only once gotten a comment about SAHMing not being "stimulating" enough, the rest have been very positive, but in the vein of "wow, that's great, I don't know if I could do that". I think many people realize that it is work, and it is 24/7.

L.

[spinach]

I was just in the thread about the title SAHM. I concluded Professional Mother is the title I'll be using from now on (or until someone comes up with something even better).

I'm VERY proud to be a professional mother! Even when I was pregnant, I had no idea I'd want to "stay at home". When my dd was born, there was no way I wanted anyone but myself and dh to take care of her. I LOVE be a mom and I feel truly sorry for anyone, especially another mother, who looks down on mothers not working outside the home. Anyone who looks down on professional mothering just doesn't get it. Their loss. The more proud professional mamas out there the better.

When I do re-enter the workforce, I can't wait to put professional mother on my resume and detail all the amazing things I do and have learned. Anyone who scoffs at that is someone I wouldn't want to work for anyway!

[RedWine]

I love being a SAHM too -- but I do like talking about my other interests, which include what I was doing before I had kids. My husband and I have a circle of friends who are students/Professors at MIT and Harvard. I enjoy being able to discuss my academic interests with folks, so if he's introducing me to someone at work, etc., I DO include my Harvard background and interests, so that I have a chance to discuss with another adult esoteric academic things that I can't discuss with my toddler.

However, if I'm out with just my kids and meet somone for the first time, I only say that I'm a SAHM. Their reaction decides for me whether or not this person is someone worth talking to.

[Bearsmama]

I have no problem telling people what I do for a living. For me, (and I've had issues with fearing judgment about other things in my life) being a SAHM is something I'm proud of. Also, I don't have a lot of preconceived notions in my head about what being a SAHM means. Like, I look like what I look like, I still talk about all the same things I used to talk about, and my DH and I don't make assumptions about what it's "supposed" to mean or look like, YKWIM? I don't have a lot of "shoulds" in my head about what this life means, really.

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have other "shoulds" in my mind about other things in my life sometimes, but I just don't have them in this area.

[Deepa]

I can so well relate to this thread. I had a very high profile career before my son was born (5 1/2 yrs ago) and since when I have not worked. I really feel bad sometimes when I think people look down on me that I am being a SAHM. I don't care but I feel hurt when I get the look and the very fact that I have to defend myself to them for not doing 'anything'. esp. i hate when some of the relatives do it and some not so close wives of my husband's friends who are so much less qualified and have not the least idea of what I have done in the past feel so superior and try to put me down just b'cos they have a job now. it really sucks.

[RedWine]

Yes Deepa, I relate. I know for a fact that some of my ex-fellow grad students think I'm a loser since I left Haaavahd to spend time with my kids. I don't feel too badly though, because they just can't relate. The one person who could relate falls victim herself to the false belief that motherhood isn't as important as having an Ivy career...I pity her. I think she's missing out on the most important things in life. I don't feel superior or inferior, but I do understand how I'm perceived by some. But, as stated previously, they just don't get it. So for the most part, I don't care!

[chalupamom]

I'm not proud per se, any more than I'm proud that I drink decaf or that I like to read long books. It's just one of the things that I do, you know? I haven't always been at home, and I may not always be at home but I am now because it's what's working for us and that's that. I don't find it terribly difficult be at home and I don't feel like a housewife, no more than I found it difficult to be employed, which didn't make me feel like a paper pusher. I make good contributions to my environment no matter what my W-2/1099 status. Anyone who either envies or scorns me on that basis would do well to examine their own lives first.

I'm beginning to get a complex that I'm never invited to all these cocktail parties where other stay-at-home parents are snubbed. This type of anecdote is in every single be-proud-say-it-loud-SAHM book on the market and I've never experienced it (nor has my small sample of SAHMs I know). I'd gladly put up with it if it meant that I'd be invited to more parties.

[jenmk]

This is an interesting thread! Really made me think, and for the life of me I cannot recall the last time someone actually asked me what I do! (Maybe I'm just not meeting anyone new who isn't aware that I'm a stay-at-home mom . . . since I meet most people during the day with my kids in tow.)

There never was a transition for me from working person to stay-at-home mom. I've been freelance for over a decade, so I was already at home. I've dealt with people thinking I do nothing for so long because of that (if I'm working at home I must have so much more time than if I were working in an office--hah!).

It's really interesting to hear people say they're not proud, per se, of being a sahm, it's just what they do. I feel the same way. This is my life's work right now, and it's the most demanding job I've ever had (and the best--no comparison). I feel incredibly lucky to be able to stay home with my kids, knowing that they're getting what they need. I cannot imagine entrusting them to someone else for so much of each day as working parents must do. ('Though on some days I'd like to try.)

I certainly don't feel superior/inferior to working moms. This is simply the choice my husband and I have made. It's what we do. And it works for us. I've never noticed anyone dismissing me for being a mom as my major career . . . but perhaps I'm too busy watching the kids to pay attention!

Though I do have to say that when we got the brag letters at the holidays this year, I had to stop reading them because some of them made me feel like I was doing nothing with my life, that I was just a housewife. That's the first and only time I've felt that way since becoming a mom. What a terrible feeling! To feel bad for being a sahm?? That doesn't make sense to me, and yet that's how I felt. Well, I've sworn off reading the brag letters in future years, so hopefully I won't revisit that feeling again.

I guess it comes down to: I feel neither pride nor embarrassment. I feel lucky.

[pixiexto]

Interesting thread!

I had quite the shock earlier this year when we moved to the South and were registering for our driver's licenses. The clerk asked me what my occupation is, and I replied simply "I'm a SAHM". He looked at me quizzically for a moment, and then said "Oh, a homemaker."

Um, obviously this man has never SEEN my house, or it would be rather clear that there isn't a lot of "home making" going on :LOL

[TiredX2]

Um, obviously this man has never SEEN my house, or it would be rather clear that there isn't a lot of "home making" going on :LOL


Did you respond:

:scratch "No, I'm not in construction."

;)

[Deepa]

I really love being home with my son and have no regrets abt it. But I am scared that I will not grow much as a person if I don't take the effort to do something worthwhile (in addn. to raising my son). Has anybody thought abt it and found some things to do? I certainly don't want to take up a full time job. Also how do we face a situation when the husband is not convinced anymore that you should be a SAHM b'cos of financial constraints?

[SugarAndSun]

nak...

Timely thread. I just officially moved from maternity leave to SAHM. (Funny, I have just been thinking of it as unemployed :shy .) I think this is b/c being a SAHM is sooo much easier for me than going to work. I love every minute of it and I have zero stress compared to tons of stress when working. This may be b/c my ds is only six months and just about the happiest baby ever.:love So for me taking care of one happy baby is easier than teaching 120 teenagers a day!

I think SAHM gets a bad image b/c it means the person is dependent upon another person. Let's face it, you can't be a SAHM unless someone if footing the bill. I don't mean that in a negative way since obviously it is a mutual agreement. I think I am more sensitive to this than my DH since I am more of a worrier when it comes to money.

I am a SAHM b/c I can't imagine someone else taking care of my DS for an hour, let alone five days a week. Yet, I plan to return to work when he begins school or sooner if financially necessary.


OT...
One thing that irks me about some SAHMs is that they feel they are better moms than moms who work. For example, my BIL was speaking with DH about homeschooling (which his DW does) and went on about home superior they and there kids are and how they are better parents, yada, yada, yada. Well, I took great offense to this. You love your kids more b/c you homeschool? I don't think so! I just feel that others have something to offer my DS too. I have always totally respected their decision to HS and think it pretty cool... just not for us. I don't appreciate the judgement. Though I also think sometimes SAHMs and HSers have to be on the defense. Sorry for the rant :bag:.

[crunchy_mama]

Yes, I am very proud to be a sahm. Right now I feel I am living pretty easy because ds is at a stage where he can play some on his own(9mo), however I know this well go in ebbs and flows. As the first few months I had not even 1 second to eat, pee, or bathe.

I am really bothered my women(and men) who denigrate the job of taking care of children, as if it is not important. Those who think people are only worthwhile if you have a "career." I am lucky in that I have not meet many people who have made judging comments, to my face that is.

My husband's sister had a baby before me, so everything she does is golden, she did daycare, by choice, so now that is essential for socialization. However, they haven't made any comments about this now that Luke is here. However, I worry about it sense he is more attached (not just because of daycare- no bf'ng, co-slp'ng, leaving early and often for days and weeks at a time). I figure that they will sometime soon start in on how him being attached is a negative thing. Although he does (usually) love to me around people. Well, rambling again.

I think to be disrespectful of sahm and to downplay the importance of this role merely shows what we think of children, oh her job isn't important she's just taking care of the children.

[jenmk]

My husband's sister had a baby before me, so everything she does is golden, she did daycare, by choice, so now that is essential for socialization. However, they haven't made any comments about this now that Luke is here. However, I worry about it sense he is more attached (not just because of daycare- no bf'ng, co-slp'ng, leaving early and often for days and weeks at a time). I figure that they will sometime soon start in on how him being attached is a negative thing. Although he does (usually) love to me around people. Well, rambling again.


Simply point out that they (your in-laws or parents or whoever from that generation) didn't put their kids in daycare . . . the norm was sahm's. Did any of us have troubles with socialization when we went to school at 5 years old? So why, all of a sudden, do we think it's important to socialize toddlers? Developmentally, they're not really ready for it. They're more ready for socialization around 6 years old. Your son will have plenty of opportunity to socialize as he grows. No reason to rush things.

I think the socialization argument has come about to help ease the guilt some may feel over putting their kids in daycare. (BTW, I am not suggesting they should feel guilty--you do what you have to do or choose to do, whether it is staying home with the kids or going to work, and kids do fine in daycare. We have enough stress as parents that we don't need to feel guilty about every choice we make or things outside of our control.)

Also, a better attached child = a more independent toddler/older child/adult.

Best,
jen

[taliasully]

Vivianna,
I TOTALLY Agree, I feel proud and blessed to sah with DS, my Dh appreciates it and that is all that matters! I think alot of women who aren't Sah wish they could be, we should be proud and outspoken advocates of doing what I believe is the BEST for our families!!!!!!!!!!! :wink

[That Is Nice]

Yes!

I'm definitely proud to be a SAHM currently. :) It's not issue-free or complaint-free (what is, really?) but it is something I am proud to be. :)

[SAHDS]

I hate to believe that I'm ashamed but I don't want people to assume that I'm a housewife - because I am not.

What's so bad about being a housewife? I quit my job when I found out I was pregnant with DD (more than 9 years ago) and never went back to work. Now the kids are in school and I don't really consider myself a SAHM anymore. I'd call myself a housewife and have absolutely no idea why that would be a bad thing. I can tend to our garden, do volunteer work at the kids' school, take care of our dog, run errands, do the shopping, sew items needed, cook great meals and bake tons of treats. I'm sorry but you looking down on housewives is just as bad as people looking down on you for being a SAHM.

[Rockies5]

Were do you meet people who ask you what you do? :o

[Melilot Boffin]

I'm very proud of it! :)

[tootaloo78]

I am very proud of my sahm status! I was a legal assistant before so it's not like I had a high powered career, but I don't think it would have mattered if I had. If someone asks me what I do I simply say "I stay home and care for our son." That is usually followed with questions about why we didn't just use daycare, when am I going back, etc. and it gives me a chance to explain our reasoning, if I am inclined to do so. I think staying home with my son and this new one that is on the way is an absolute dream job. I get to spend practically all of my time with the people I love the most in the world, I make my own schedule and answer to no one (except a bossy 2 year old). Honestly, compared to the work that I am doing here at home with my family, most careers and jobs seem so unimportant and trivial to me and I can't imagine willingly leaving my son to pursue any of them. Also, I am in the throes of morning sickness and since I had to work last time I was pregnant I even take pleasure in the fact that I get to be sick at home instead of at work, lol. So, yes, I am very proud to say I am a sahm.

[akbirdy]

I never thought I had a problem with it, but a while ago someone asked me what I did for a living, and without thinking, I said, "Oh I'm just a stay at home Mom"
The person then said something about that being the hardest and most rewarding job. It made me feel silly for saying "just a sahm", and got me thinking why I did say that...

[Abarat]

When I first became a SAHM 2 1/2 yrs ago I had a little trouble talking to people about it, but now I have no trouble.

I think it's mainly because I work much harder now than I ever have before and I was a damned hard worker when I was employed. I do tell people that it's hard work but very worth it for the lifestyle we want since we do everything from scratch, grow our own food, have chickens, etc. Plus maybe it helped that I started a soap making business after I sold my car. It wasn't worth much but helped me start that out. So I stay crazy busy and am very proud of all that we do and how healthy and smart my little boy is since he doesn't have to compete with several other children at a daycare facility.

[jocelyndale]

I usually smile and point at my toddler.

Oddly enough, the response is almost always wide-eyed "Wow. I guess that's enough." And it's a sincere response. Many people, especially those without children, don't realize the commitment and rigor of being a SAHP until they actually *think* about it.

I've had some folks with careers press me on it, asking how I could possibly be happy wasting my education on a toddler who won't even remember these years. Those people just get looks of misbelief and that tilted head look that conveys, "you did NOT just say that."

I don't know that I'd say that I'm proud. I tend to not be proud of stuff that I just do/am. I am fulfilled, however, and that's important to me.

[hotmamacita]

I'm a worldly, strong, well-educated woman and when people ask me what I do, I have a hard time saying "SAHM". I hate to believe that I'm ashamed but I don't want people to assume that I'm a housewife - because I am not. Anyone else have this problem?

I am proud to be a housewife, stay-at-home mama, 'just a mom', whatever....

[becoming]

You know, I am actually really proud of being a SAHM and have no problem telling people. I don't get the feeling that staying at home has any kind of stigma attached to it where I live, which I'm thankful for. It seems like most moms here stay at home, and the ones that don't wish they could for the most part.

[Mommy2anangel]

I'm very proud of what I do!

That's not to say I don't worry about what other people think. Especially since I never went to college and even though I worked prior to ds I wouldn't call it a career by any means!

Please don't take this unkindly, but you mamma's are just like the ones that make me feel inferior. ;) When I meet someone new and they ask what I do, I state that I'm a stay-at-home mom and then they say "oh, I have a degree in x and x and did x before having kids, but now I'm a SAHM". Serouisly, I don't need your whole personal history! :LOL ( I say all this light-heartedly)

.

And so am I. I enjoy being a SAHM. I'm not saying any of you other gals don't. But I feel very priviledged to be able to SAH with DS especially being a young mom.

[chely7425]

I am proud to be a stay at home mom... I went to college and have a degree but I always knew I wanted to stay home with our kids once we started having them. It helps that my DH is proud to tell people I am a SAHM because he is proud that he can take care of us!

[kikidee]

I don't know if "proud" is the right word... more like "satisfied". And I'm not ashamed of it, I truly feel it's the right thing for me to do. If anyone has issues with that, well those are their issues. A few years ago, I probably would have cared more what people think, but since I'm the wise and worldly age of 32 (ha), I care less what people think. Seriously, though, for some reason, when I entered my 30s, I grew more confident in myself. It's probably more to do with some events that went on in my life, but I have learned through those experiences that at the end of the day, if YOU are happy with your choices, then that is truly what matters.

So - if staying home with your kid(s) is something YOU feel is right for YOU -- then that is what matters. It always gives me a pang of sadness to see mothers who feel like they need to explain away or apologize for either staying home or working. I know great women with amazing kids on both ends of that spectrum, and I wish we all could just be happy with our choices and feel good about them at the end of the day, instead of feeling ashamed.

[DariusMom]

It always gives me a pang of sadness to see mothers who feel like they need to explain away or apologize for either staying home or working. I know great women with amazing kids on both ends of that spectrum, and I wish we all could just be happy with our choices and feel good about them at the end of the day, instead of feeling ashamed.

:thumb

Absolutely true and very well put.

[janasmama]

Proud? mmmm....yes, b/c it is a hard job and a lot of people can't handle it.

More than anything, I feel blessed though....lucky, to be a SAHM, especially in this time that a lot of people struggle financially. I'm grateful that my DH has a job that can at the very least meet our basic needs.

[crunchymomofmany]

Wow! I just wrote about this on my blog the other day...how being a SAHM used to be a perfectly reasonable profession - and how, for a long time, I kept trying to think of other things to say that I "do" for a living. Of course, I've gotten over it, mostly, over the years, but sometimes I feel a bit inadequate. I also often feel like I'm lacking in the feminist category - even though I consider myself a lifelong feminist - because I like staying home. I often feel like I was brought up to "be anything I want to be" but that was only acceptable as long as what I wanted to be brought in a paycheck.

I also feel a little out of place with a lot of moms in town who seem to enjoy dissing being a mom. I mean, I hear a lot of complaining about the driving and the diapers and whatever. I also hear a lot of comments like "If I stayed home with my kids, I'd go insane...I have to work." I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be insulted or complimented by comments like that - mostly they make me feel very small.

[New Mama]

I have no problem at all telling people I'm a SAHM. I was a nanny and a stepmom for a long time before having my son, and I'm thrilled to finally be able to stay home with my own child and be a mom. I have no plans to work outside the home again at any point.

I will admit that I wonder what others think, especially when I hear about acquaintances who are parents and have amazingly interesting careers. But I have no doubt that I have the intelligence and skills to have done what they do if I'd wanted and felt passionately about it. I just never felt driven that way. And I'm happy being a SAHM.

[catters]

I'm a worldly, strong, well-educated woman and when people ask me what I do, I have a hard time saying "SAHM". I hate to believe that I'm ashamed but I don't want people to assume that I'm a housewife - because I am not. Anyone else have this problem?

Yeah, my best friend even said to me, (when I told her I was planning on SAHMing) "why did you get a Master's Degree then?". Hmm, like I'm wasting myself by being at home with my son or something? Anyway, I know that I'm no slouch and that I'm not sitting on my butt all day watching television. I'm MUCH busier now than I was when I was working full time! Heck, half the time at work I'd be cruising the internet or jawing away with a co worker! Now I'm crazy busy with an almost toddler who is a maniac and into everything! We go to parks, little gym classes for him, hang out with friends, run errands, keep the house up, cook, shop, nurse, etc! All for one tiny twenty pound little man. People who don't have kids (or who weren't around them much before having their own) have NO IDEA what it is like to raise a child. I was one of those people so I feel confident saying this. :D

[Kelly Jene]

I can't stand the "oh you're a housewife" attitude. I am guiding two individuals into adulthood! That is not something to be taken lightly!

I am proud to be a SAHM!

[MilkTrance]

I agree with this. Sometimes I find myself wanting to justify by explaining my work history

I try very hard not to do this, but I totally understand.