jillywilson
07-05-2005, 10:32 AM
My 5yo DD is developing a long list of fears that are controlling our lives lately. I'm not sure how to handle them anymore. I've gone the route of being sensitive and trying to reason with her, but I'm loosing patience. I also don't want to encourage the behaviour by being too accommodating. Are these normal phases?
Here's a sampling of the most bothersome ones:
- a scary clown lives in our bathroom. This one started a few months ago and I would sit on the floor while she used the potty. We talked about how there really wasn't a clown in our bathroom and what a good imagination she has. She had the idea of drawing a picture of a happy clown to hang in the bathroom. Then, I had to hold the picture of the happy clown and talk for it saying things like "How's it goin?" and making jokes. I wasn't always so calm and started saying "There's no clown. I can't come with you now. Just go to the bathroom already!!" After a month or so, she stopped talking about the clown and took down the happy clown picture. NOW, she says she's thinking about the clown again. I told her this time that I wasn't doing the clown thing anymore and that she got over it before and she can get over it again. I'm just afraid that it is becoming some kind of attention getting thing.
- walking in grass in barefeet. She got a little thorn in her foot running through a sprinkler about a month ago. It was easily removed and she admits it didn't hurt after that. She was fine for a couple of weeks, but now refuses to go barefoot in grass. So now there have been a couple of times at other people's houses where she wants us to carry her through the grass to get into the pool or wants to stand on a rug under the sprinkler. I told her that if she wants to have fun and get in the pool, she can walk to the edge and take off her shoes and get in. No, she might accidentally touch grass. Well, sorry, but I'm not going to cater to this fear by saying "Yes, I'll carry you."
- touching wood. This one has been going on a long time. She's had a couple of splinters in the past that were not serious - easily removed. However, now she says she won't touch wood. We've convinced her that our wooden floors and door frames have been painted and pose no danger. But, there are still plenty of other dangers in her eyes. She won't sit on wooden benches even when clothes are covering her skin. She'll only play on the swings at wooden playgrounds. She wanted to use chop sticks at the Chinese restaurant, but when she discovered they were wood, she wrapped the ends in her napkin. She freaked out at a friends house when she had taken her shoes off on their concrete patio, but couldn't get back in the house without stepping on the "wooden" steps. They weren't even wood, but that recycled plastic that looks like wood. She wouldn't believe us that they were plastic and just cried. Upon seeing people on TV waving little American flags she said, "How can all of those people touch wood like that?" I said "I don't know, you'd think they'd all be screaming from the pain of the splinters."
- germ fear. I've gone on long enough, but here's one example. Upon taking a fork out of the drawer, it hit the WOODEN edge of the drawer and said it was dirty now and wouldn't use it. Lots of things like "She ate a cracker that she dropped on the couch? Will she die?"
There are other more common ones - bugs, dark, loud noises, etc.
She's also becoming super sensitive to getting her feelings hurt over very small things like trying to hand me a towel and I say "Oh, thanks, but I don't need it now." Tearing up, she says, "I was just trying to help. That hurt my feelings." Or, God forbid we chuckle at something cute her 2 yo sister does.
Oh, she's also started freaking out if we don't sit in the exact spots at the dinner table that she wants us to sit in.
She's a smart and creative child. There haven't been any major changes in our family or friends. These mostly started in the last 6 months. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you if you made it through this very long post.
Jill
Here's a sampling of the most bothersome ones:
- a scary clown lives in our bathroom. This one started a few months ago and I would sit on the floor while she used the potty. We talked about how there really wasn't a clown in our bathroom and what a good imagination she has. She had the idea of drawing a picture of a happy clown to hang in the bathroom. Then, I had to hold the picture of the happy clown and talk for it saying things like "How's it goin?" and making jokes. I wasn't always so calm and started saying "There's no clown. I can't come with you now. Just go to the bathroom already!!" After a month or so, she stopped talking about the clown and took down the happy clown picture. NOW, she says she's thinking about the clown again. I told her this time that I wasn't doing the clown thing anymore and that she got over it before and she can get over it again. I'm just afraid that it is becoming some kind of attention getting thing.
- walking in grass in barefeet. She got a little thorn in her foot running through a sprinkler about a month ago. It was easily removed and she admits it didn't hurt after that. She was fine for a couple of weeks, but now refuses to go barefoot in grass. So now there have been a couple of times at other people's houses where she wants us to carry her through the grass to get into the pool or wants to stand on a rug under the sprinkler. I told her that if she wants to have fun and get in the pool, she can walk to the edge and take off her shoes and get in. No, she might accidentally touch grass. Well, sorry, but I'm not going to cater to this fear by saying "Yes, I'll carry you."
- touching wood. This one has been going on a long time. She's had a couple of splinters in the past that were not serious - easily removed. However, now she says she won't touch wood. We've convinced her that our wooden floors and door frames have been painted and pose no danger. But, there are still plenty of other dangers in her eyes. She won't sit on wooden benches even when clothes are covering her skin. She'll only play on the swings at wooden playgrounds. She wanted to use chop sticks at the Chinese restaurant, but when she discovered they were wood, she wrapped the ends in her napkin. She freaked out at a friends house when she had taken her shoes off on their concrete patio, but couldn't get back in the house without stepping on the "wooden" steps. They weren't even wood, but that recycled plastic that looks like wood. She wouldn't believe us that they were plastic and just cried. Upon seeing people on TV waving little American flags she said, "How can all of those people touch wood like that?" I said "I don't know, you'd think they'd all be screaming from the pain of the splinters."
- germ fear. I've gone on long enough, but here's one example. Upon taking a fork out of the drawer, it hit the WOODEN edge of the drawer and said it was dirty now and wouldn't use it. Lots of things like "She ate a cracker that she dropped on the couch? Will she die?"
There are other more common ones - bugs, dark, loud noises, etc.
She's also becoming super sensitive to getting her feelings hurt over very small things like trying to hand me a towel and I say "Oh, thanks, but I don't need it now." Tearing up, she says, "I was just trying to help. That hurt my feelings." Or, God forbid we chuckle at something cute her 2 yo sister does.
Oh, she's also started freaking out if we don't sit in the exact spots at the dinner table that she wants us to sit in.
She's a smart and creative child. There haven't been any major changes in our family or friends. These mostly started in the last 6 months. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you if you made it through this very long post.
Jill