six week suspension for 8th grader, help?

[deanna britt]

can anyone help me with this...

my almost fourteen year old son is having "issues" with homework, specifically his algebra teacher's assignments (incidently, i've found out that 24 out of twenty five kids are flunking her class). In any case, he really should not have set up a secret hotmail account, nor e-mailed the teacher notes stating that "5th period algebra demands less homework," but a six week suspension! I went to a hearing, the suspension was upheld, Columbine invoked, and am told that because the e-mails were anonamous, and made demands, that counts as threatening, and as such, is "exceptional misconduct."

In reading the e-mails, I see a kid asking for help. One statement "you should not assign the work without showing us how to do it" echos complaints i have heard from other parents regarding this teacher. Perhaps its easier for the school to make an example out of my son than to deal with a problem teacher.
They agreed at the hearing that my son had no malicious intent, but, Columbine, ya know, have to take "threats" seriously. God help us, we've raised all four of our boys to state their minds, is this what we're in for?

No, he should not have signed anything "Mr. X", but exceptional misconduct? Six weeks?

Thank You for reading my venting. Now, does anyone have any suggestions?

DeAnna Britt in Mukilteo, Washington

[Deni]

When I was a teacher in MD and in NM, the laws in those states required the school to provide tutoring and assignments for suspensions that long. My feeling is that you won't be able to fight the suspension so turn to the other two problems. Getting the work for your son to keep up with and getting the teacher sanctioned.

For the first, you will have to go to the principal to set up getting the childs work sent home. You will probably have to pick it up each week, sad to say. As to the second problem, I would contact the other parents in that classroom. You and they as a group need to lodge formal complaints against the teacher for the problems he is causing. I say as a group because the system may ignore you as the parent of a "problem child" - but if the entire set of parents makes a formal complaint, they have to listen!

Just my two cents....good luck!

[lauren]

I was curious how your son was feeling about the whole thing? If he was very remorseful and took responsibility for some bad choices, did they take that into account? Sometimes schools have a "policy" they need to follow that does not take individual differences into consideration (in fact individual differences are not really the strong point of public schools a lot of the time!)

I would agree with Deni, that a good approach might be to link up with the other parents, and let one of them spearhead the issue, because as she said, you might not be taken seriously. I don't know if others have different experiences, but I have not seen this sort of complaint go very far, unless it happens many times. It seems that once a teacher is in, the school works very hard to protect the person. Nevertheless, someone has to start the process that might take years to unfold.

Please let us know how things turn out!

[lauren]

I wanted to add a welcome, to the boards and the public school forum. I hope you'll get some responses here. It is a fairly quiet forum compared to some of the others. Check back often.

[deanna britt]

Hi GUys--

Thank you for your replies.

Right now I am working more with maximizing this experience for my sons ultimate growth. In my state schools are under no obligation to provide homework during a long term suspension, so the fact that I am getting materials and such is a major concession (not that I can't homeschool, but I like him to be on the same page for when he returns).

My son is remorseful, and wrote an apology letter. He did not use proper channels to express his complaints, however there is nothing at all overtly threatening about the e-mails (just that they were anonamous + plus made a demand for less homework. He also said please, and asked that she teach the material more clearly. He should not have used the computer wrongly, should have signed things, but how much power do kids have when they take a stand? He is way too cocky right now, maybe this will mellow out with maturity, but I am not going to completely quash his drive to take a stand. May he learn all of his major lessons in life so young.

I am under no illusions that I will be able to reform the school or teacher. Teachers are scarce in this district, kids a dime a dozen. I will have him placed in another class upon his return to school, warn other parents, ect. I would raise all hell, and such, but my son wants to return to this school (I would homeschool, but he wants to go back, probably cuter chicks there than at home).
I have to balance my responses with how my son will be treated, I don't trust these people to not retaliate.

Hey, heres an example of a "threatening e-mail."

Hello you know me yet I will remain anonymous until many demands of 5th period algebra are met you will hear from me later ps I am a student in algebra


He shouldn't have said this, but I guess I would have just e-mailed back "get off the computer and do your math homework."
I agree there needed to be corrective action, but in light of the overall situation, his apology and admitted (by the hearing officer) lack of actual malice, I think 6 weeks is excessive.

[Mamaste]

/comforting hug

I feel you have a good perspective on this. Keep on helping your son grow up -- you're doing great!

[lauren]

Having heard more about it from you, it is pretty clear that the school is just "out of it" on this one. I loved your idea for what a more helpful response would have been "get off the computer and go do your math"!! Moms are so practical, and institutions so rigid......

I like your relaxed approach to your son too! An inspiration.

Keep us informed how things are progressing!
:)

[Alexander]

It seems to me that the school has not made channels for feed-back from students "clearly available". This is a clearly a problem that the school itself needs to address (though I am not at all surprised to find it)., and your son (not unwisely) used the systems available to him

Your son has been sucked down into the morass of officialdom and beaurocracy now that it is clear that he violated a "law".

Beaurocracy has no heart, and no soul. Expect no mercy from such a beast.

There is a school system that has a lot more respect for children such as your son.

I invite you to look at www.sudval.org/ and e-mail me any time you have questions. Certainly a read of "Free at last" will enable you to put your son's current school in perspective.

Hope this helps.

a

[dlb]

Hey Everyone-

Thank you so much for all the supportive replies. I ended up wearing the school officials down so bad that the authorities let my son return to school 2 weeks early. Had some good times with him while he was home, though.

Catch You All Later-

DeAnna

[leafylady]

Did he have any consequences from you at home or just the school suspension punishment? I think public schools are under a lot of pressure to become disciplinarians these days- gentle, but still disciplinarians. Schools are under pressure to teach children values that their parents should be teaching and perhaps at times they go too far, in an attempt to show fair and impartial treatment to all.
What do you think the school consequences should have been?

[dlb]

Hey Leafylady--

He certainly did have consequences at home --restriction and real world chores, not to mention less computer access-- just not six weeks worth. This is not even counting how hard it is on my son to know that I am dissapointed and displeased with him. I thought perhaps in-house suspension, or extra work at school (cleaning, ect.), or even a shorter suspension would have been more constructive. I don't think a six-week break from homework is a good punishment for a kid who has issues with homework, thats why I fought for accademic support, which involved a lot of "shlepping" back and forth on my part. By the way, on one of my homework fetching days, I had to go into the math teachers room, and to make a long story short, I have never seen such a disorganized mess (she couldn't even find the test he was to take). Sometimes kids respond to innapropriate situations innappropriately, he should have been doing his math instead of e-mailing, but I now believe him totally when he says that assignments are routinely lost after being handed in, and wonder how that affects incentive. I've tried to tell him that this is a life lesson, document everything you turn in, dates ect. because some day you might have a disorganized boss or co-worker, and it will be good to know the CYA principle.

In any case, my kid was not just patted on the head when this situation came about, but I didn't beat him over the head with it for six weeks, either.

Take Care--

DeAnna Britt

[leafylady]

That sounds great on your part. I think parental consequences/discipline is much more effective than school discipline. It's too bad that schools are feeling the pressure to act more extremely in the wake of Columbine and other real and perceived school crises.

[parisfrance]

I just found this thread. As a former high school teacher (small private school, not public) I am APPALLED at the behavior of this teacher, and the fact that the school administration is supporting them. They need help!! I think you should talk to the other parents, not to try to "get" the teacher, but to get help for the kids. If they are all failing, then all the parents are probably as concerned as you are. Maybe some of them could help with the class? Give extra help at someone's house after school? Get the teacher some help? Perhaps they aren't qualified to teach algebra? That happens in schools more than you think. If I had 24/25 kids failing my class, I would toss the rest of the curriculum out the window and go back over the first half again!!!

BTW, I think you handled this very well, and I'm sure your son appriciates it. If not now, he will later!

Michelle

[dlb]

Hey ParisFrance--

From what a "little birdie" told me, there are some measures being taken, but "confidentiality, ya know. I know other parents are expressing concerns, ect. Right now I'm not ready to join a coallition, just trying to readjust to my sons new situation. I did find him an algebra book at the library, and i know there are websites, ect. I'm just trying to take a breather from the whole thing for a while. I did, however, use the example of this teachers disorganization, and the problems it causes, to show my "slobby" son the importance of a certain amount of organization and neatness. He says that I "have issues" and I'm "compulsive" because I like the pigsty mucked out once in awhile:) . BTW, this is the kind of kid I'm dealing with, he came home from my mothers house saying "jeeze, Mom, now I know why you have so many issues." Whatever that means, just do your homework and clean your room, and grow up and join a support group if thats too much "issues" for you, son.

In any case, this board has been helpful, and all the nice replies have been very balancing. Thanks you guys!

[parisfrance]

Sounds like using this teacher as an example could be very useful! Good luck!

Michelle

[Greaseball]

Deanna - I think that's so creative! I don't think he should have gotten suspended at all.

When I was six I wrote my teacher a note telling her that she was "yucky." My mom actually thought it was imaginative.

Some teachers just can't admit they know almost NOTHING about children.

[dlb]

Hi GreaseBall-

thank you for your support.

To be honest, this is where my kid gets his "attitude:"

When I was in seventh grade, I had retired army guy for a math teacher, who had horned rimmed glasses, a buzz cut, and a truely mean demeanor. I drew a picture of a pig with his glasses and haircut, wrote "death to fascist pigs" on the bottom, and left it on his desk. Guess I really would have been "on vacation" from school if I did that nowadays..

Like my mother reminded me, "you were really weird at his age, you know"..

Guess paybacks are a you know what......

DeAnna

[AmyB]

I was a "problem" child a lot like your son. I can easily understand why he wrote anonymous email since there is no way his complaint would have been taken seriously or even noticed otherwise.

I wanted to learn at school and was very distressed when we had bad teachers, but nobody ever listened. The worst thing was my feeling of total powerlessness. They had these fakey student councils, but parents had to complain for any changes to occur. For me, the powerlessness of being enrolled in public school was the worst experience of my life. It turned me into a rebelious and uncooperative teenager, and the irony is that what I really wanted was to learn things at school.

If there is any way at all, you *must* find a way to use the situation to get rid of the bad teacher or somehow improve the class. If your son finds out that by speaking up he can make a difference he'll be on his way to being a responsible citizen in our Democracy. Otherwise the only lesson he will learn is that adults won't support kids and that his school is a hypocritial instituion that doesn't really care about his education.

--AmyB

[dlb]

Hi Amy B--
Unfortunately,
His school is a hypocritical place.
Some adults don't listen to kids.
fortunately,
his parents try not to be hypocritical.
some adults listen to kids.

He's doing the best he can, I've told him to just learn what he can, and re-take the class in hi-school (it is a high school level class in eighth grade). I am doing my best to spread the word to other parents to request not having this teacher. Maybe that will help, their kids specifically, and eventually the whole situation.


Right now I'm making sure he has enough support at home that one bad teacher won't wig him out.

Thanks for sharing your experience and view.

DeAnna