i'm interested in dating but...

[koofie]

I'm having a hard time meeting guys, especially like minded ones, who would be interested in living an ecologically friendly lifestyle, deal with my wonderful 8 cats, dog, and DD, and who is MATURE.

Any suggestions with where or how I should go about meeting the elusive (sp?) creatures/ I'm not very good at "wait and they will come" but neither am I very forward.

TIA ladies!

[cortsmommy]

Gosh if you find out let me know too! ;)

[L.J.]

Well, there are some of us here who have done the online dating thing. There are some "green" dating services.....but I don't know the names of them. Someone else might be able to help you there.

Perhaps some of the places you enjoy going (festivals, farmer's markets, health food stores, bookstores, etc.) may also be places to keep your "radar" up.

I've met a few good dates online, met someone through a friend of a friend, and someone else just hanging in my neighborhood.

Good luck.

[StephandOwen]

:LOL I don't know but if you ever find him send any brothers or cousins my way :p

[BowNessMonster]

aw, heck, can't we share him? :LOL

I am frustrated too :( the one prospect I was actually into lied about having a gf :irked: and then subsequently stood me up :irked: :irked: He's younger and totally not what I'm looking for anyway. I think my maturity turns him on but my motherhood scares the heck out of him ;)

I've been asked out a few times... by losers, users, and creeps who are married or have girlfriends. what's UP with this??? I'm a Freak Magnet (L7 anyone? :kewl )

I'm kind of soured on the online/phone dating thing - my sister is thoroughly addicted and has brought home some truly scary, nasty wierdos.

[woobysma]

:lurk: just lurking while I'm waiting for Mr Perfect to drop out of the freaking sky.

Hated online dating, too :nut - lotta crazies out there

[Mommay]

I'm kind of weary of dating services too. But I don't know how else a single mom would meet anyone. I'm still in the process of a divorce, so I am nowhere close to ready to date. But I know two crunchy moms who met men on match.com. One of them got married to him and just had a child! And the other just had a whirl-wind one month romance that turned sour. The first one's guy was doing AP parenting all by himself with his ds, and she was so impressed. He seems really sweet too. The second one is super crunchy, who was actually looking to find an intentional community or something like that for her 2 1/2 yo dd and herself to live in. She found a place, but met this guy online, and within weeks moved in with him, travelling from the east coast to the midwest. She now realizes that that may not have been such a great idea. But anyway, I was impressed by the fact that she met a vegan who wanted to move into an intentional community on match.com. What are the chances?

[L.J.]

There are lots of crazies online.....but there are lots of crazies in real life too.

If you do a lot of reading.....and reading between the lines....you can discover quite a lot about someone on the internet and weed out the crazies pretty quickly.

I've met some great guys online. One guy was a 50/50 parent and co-slept and was vegetarian, healthy lifestyle etc. It is possible.

[Katt2005]

I never realized on line dating ws so big. But just the other day, I heard about a book my ex-boyfrinds dad has written about finding the love of your life on the internet, and he wrote one for women too. His name is Phil Maggio if anyone is interested in the book. I'm a little weirded out by reading it since I know him so well, or did. May take me a while to read it.

[koofie]

Ok, I think I might try Match.com, as I have tried other (smaller sites) and eHarmony w/o much luck.

Now I need to choose a user name. Often I use "Kelsi" because it is not very common, but since this is a huge site I think I'd like to try something more private. Any ideas?

Here I'm arismomkoofie, but I'm not sure if I should advertise in my user name that I am a mom, although it will come up in my profile. I'd like something that shows I am very interested in being green-friendly.

TIA!

[L.J.]

You could be
Green Girl
Nature Girl
Eco Girl

Internet dating is big. I am surprised at how many different sites are out there. I remember someone here was having quite a bit of luck on singleparent.com. And Ik now there is one site that is totally green. I'm going to go google it now and if I find it, I'll return.

[L.J.]

Okay, I googled and found
www.EarthWiseSingles.com

[koofie]

For those with pets you can try:

www.animalattraction.com it is still small, but a great community

also there is www.veggiedate.com for vegetarians, but I'm not crazy about the set up, it is not as user friendly I feel

I've never tried singleparent.com - maybe I'll try it!

Luckily I live in a huge metro area, so there are usually lots of people from my area, just not one I *really* have clicked with yet!

Edited to add: I like Ecogirl, maybe I'll try that!

[ExuberantDaffodil]

Thanks L.J.! I didn't know something like that existed. I have checked out Yahoo personals, but, um, was bombarded with strange requests and men waaaaay to old for me to consider (and I don't mind a 10-15 year gap, either!) EHarmony scared me off because of the price. Money is tight enough without my blowing $50 on a dating service... Heh.

Of course, I just did a search on earthwisesingles and came up only ONE match, more than 50 miles from my city, and the guy looks naked in his picture. :LOL


edited to add: I refined my search. Came up with one more. He says:

Want kids: no but yours are O.K. There would go having another one....

EDaffodil - doomed to singledom for the rest of eternity. :down

[koofie]

Okay, I googled and found
www.EarthWiseSingles.com

Wow! there was NO ONE in my state - although some ok guys that were wayyy far away. I guess I'll bookmark it and check back.

[green]

there was ONE in my state, but I am still too freaked out on internet dating! It is fun to look around though.

My x had quite a line of internet dates while we were married! So I have 'issues' with online dating.

It is good to see the earthwisesingles though!

[trinity6232000]

I have met a few people online. I think it's pretty easy to weed out the
crazies. First I got quite a few replies, I don't respond to many of them
at all. Maybe 1 out of 20. Then I ask to email or instant message. Do
that for a couple of weeks. Then a couple of phone calls. In 3 years of
having a profile up I have only met three met IRL. Two were short lived
relationships, and one was only one date.

Most men who are looking for a hook up, or are mental will soon start
ignoring me when they realize I am not going to meet them soon. It
helps. Plus I like a man who can wait a little while for someone worth
waiting for.

[morgainesmama]

Can I add to the question (not actually seeking a relationship but pondering the future possibility)?

So theoretically if you're able to actually meet a guy, how do you go about finding out if he's single? Like, if you're meeting someone at the park or something? Any time I try to strike up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex a woman sort of materializes beside him instantly.

Kristi

[koofie]

Good point - they usually think I am married bc I have a kid.

Anyone else know?

[L.J.]

Well, if there's no sight of a ring.....
I have made comments about being a single mom. If he's a single dad he'll usually be forth coming with that information.
You could say something like, "Oh, it's nice that you get a little one-on-one time with your child." -- He may or may not say something about his wife.

I have found that any time I'm around men that I find attractive, I quickly find a way to slip "I'm a single mom" into the conversation, then if he's single.....he knows I am too.

[ExuberantDaffodil]

Well, if there's no sight of a ring.....
I have made comments about being a single mom. If he's a single dad he'll usually be forth coming with that information.
You could say something like, "Oh, it's nice that you get a little one-on-one time with your child." -- He may or may not say something about his wife.

I have found that any time I'm around men that I find attractive, I quickly find a way to slip "I'm a single mom" into the conversation, then if he's single.....he knows I am too.

You're so sly, L.J. ;)