the twinkle in my wife's eye has returned, I think

[mrgypsum]

we have two right now, but there have been times that we have talked about a third - BUT there are also times where we have both agreed that we are done. it seems like she has been thinking about it more, the other day *out of the blue* she asks me, if we had another one, what would you name it? what do you think we would have if we had another?

i was shocked! this coming from the woman who, just months earlier said, NO-WAY, NO-HOW - needless to say, her last pregnancy and delivery were *Trying* to say the least. also when i asked her if we were going to have another, she said - only if she loses all of the weight she gained from our second - i just dont know - i guess i am getting mixed messages!

but she sure has been having that twinkle lately - what have been some of your experiences - dads, and moms - with the NEXT baby (the twinkle)?

[papapoochie]

It must be the season. My DW goes back and forth about another child, too. I'm just plain wiped out right now and have trouble imagining surviving another. Maybe the heat's getting to me, and all of the work stress. I don't know.

Sometimes the thought is pleasing and it seems like a great idea, but lately I'd be happy w/a vacation instead. :nut

[Silliest]

14 months has been a hot-spot for me.

My second was conceived when my first was that age, and I very nearly tried to talk my (now ex) hubby into a 3rd when #2 was 14 mos despite the fact that the marriage was very definitely not making it.

It was totally irrational, and I'm normally *very* rational.

I'll warn you that I believe there's a hormonal effect involved.
(But god help you if you tell her "It's hormones, babe, you'll get over it" <LOL!>)

And if she *does* get serious about wanting another one, and you, being the potentially less affected one, really and truly think the timing is not right, it would be a good idea to try to put off the decision with something that puts it all on you, but leaves the door open... like "I'd love to, and I know you want to, but I really just can't cope with another one now, and it wouldn't be fair to you or the kids for me to get stretched any thinner than I am now. Lets talk about it again in 6 months."

It's a *really* desperately hard thing even for me to understand, and I've been there twice! That "baby fever" just sneaks up on you. It can be truly overpowering, and yet you think it's the most logical thing in the world! I don't know what does it, but it seems to be a fairly common experience. It even hits men too, sometimes ;->

And whatever happens, even if you do end up conceiving again before one or both of you are really ready, it's not the end of the world :-) It may be harder than it had to be, but it'll still be okay. And every pregnancy and birth are different, even for the same woman. So odds are good that the next time won't be so bad for her (and you) if it happens.

Good luck! It's tough to go through baby-fever, and I reckon it's probably harder to be the spouse!

[iwearredsocks]

DW's twinkle is coming back recently (first one is 19 mos. old) but she wants to adopt instead of birth, due to the pain of delivery. We've discussed it at length, but neither can convince the other. I'd prefer to adopt later, she swears she will birth no more babies.

I suggest we get the bigger pool this time so she can move around more - a leg cramp last time forced her out of the pool, which greatly increased the pain. It doesn't seem to convince her.

We'll see where it goes.

[Dov]

The twinkle left after number two. We called it quits then. Two is more than enough for us. There was one brief moment when three seemed like a cool idea... then my bro had a third and we snapped out of it... FAST! :LOL Our niece no. 3 works well for a surrogate third. She's awesome and she goes home at the end of a day.