newbie

[sally Z]

Hi I am a new South African mommy

I am a WAHM to a wonderful little girl born at home in water last year.
Hope to chat to other AP mommies.

Sally

[Raven]

:wave

[MamaDavid]

Hi Sally
Welcome from an AP mom in JHB! Seems like our numbers are growing...

[sally Z]

Hi it is nice to know that there are other AP moms in SA. I am tired of being the only one getting funny looks. How do you handle conservative SAfricans?

Sally

[MamaDavid]

My kids are at the Waldorf school in JHB. David in nursery school and Danielle in the toddlers group. I feel at home there, maybe because there are some people around there more eccentric than me! I have made some good friends there as well.

I have found that friendships with conservative mainstream moms just do not last. I have an Afrikaans friend in PTA and although she is quite conservative and not totally AP, we find a lot in commom because her parenting style is very "child obsessed".

As for my conservative Afrikaans family, they have accepted that I am totally nuts in any case so nothing surprises them anymore. I didn't tell anybody except my mom that we were planning a home birth with David, and everybody was shocked and surprised, with Danielle my sister-in-law in PTA came to help!

Comments or "skeef" looks from strangers ... I have become very thick skinned.

The one person who really does get to me is my own mother. "If you carry on demand feeding your baby, you are going to kill yourself." She tries very hard not to criticise, but sometimes one just knows. Then there is the GD and my mom certainly believes that sometimes a child just needs "a darn good hiding". OOH and then there is MIL, luckily she lives in Harare ...

[Raven]

Hey MamaD! Inever knew you moved back to SA!!!!! Can I PM you my cell number?

[sally Z]

Hi MamaDavid

My FIL did not know I had a homebirth so when he phoned the next day he asked when I was going to be discharged and was shocked I was at home.

I find myself becomming less and less tolerant of other people's parenting styles. I hate feeling like i need to justify what I do all the time.

But mostly I just carry on, I ec in public BF in public etc, they must just cope.

I love the reaction from black women when I wear dd in a sling, they see a white mommy with a sling and suddenly they want to talk to me and smile at us.

Sally

[sally Z]

:wave Raven

[Raven]

Whoohoo! :bouncy

[Raven]

So what are your fave smilies here?

[sally Z]

I love all the different ones, not used to them all yet but so many cute ones. what do you use?

[sally Z]

did you get a mooncup?

[Raven]

Not yet but plan to when AF comes back. :)

[sally Z]

ja me too, seems to make the thought of her return not as bad as before, that said I am quite happy if she stays away for a LONG time ;)

[MamaDavid]

Raven, yes we are back. By all means PM me your number. I have this really bad (is kak a forbidden word on MDC, because that is far more accurate) internet connection - I am going to check out 3G. Congrats on number 3 and what a birth story WOW!

Sally - I visited your website - YOU SELL CLOTH NAPPIES!!! I searched high and low for cloth nappies while we were in Tanzania. Danielle is out of nappies now and I have just had a miscarriage with no. 3. Dh and I are thinking that it might be sign that the third one is not such a good idea after all. Well, if we change our minds, I'll certainly try your nappies.

How is the ec going? I started Danielle at 8 months and we were doing well at 14 months then she just went on strike and I never got it right. Even now she seems to go on strike at times as well - as though she needs me to tune in and make sure she does not have accidents then after a few days she picks it up again and takes responsibility and even gets very annoyed when I interfere ...

[sally Z]

Hi MamaDavid

Yes I sell cloth nappies LOL. I was so sick of seeing all sorts of great AP and NFL type stuff and there being NOTHING in SA so I started to make stuff.

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Are you okay?

Ec is going well, she is in training pants now. It has been a wonderful journey. I just love the communication between me and dd. I am not always as tuned in as I would like to be. We have had a few small potty strikes, well pauses really. There are just days when she does not want to go to the potty or toilet so I just respect that and try to change her quickly if she is wet.

Sally

[MamaDavid]

I am very impressed that you make the stuff yourself. You go girl! I made one nappy for Danielle - totally under estimated how much fabric one needs for each nappy and by the time I figured it out we were back in Dar and I could not get anymore fabric. The next trip home I got hold of some Snappi all-in-ones which saw us through. Danielle still loves her "pinky nappy" and if she finds it she still wears it!

As far as the miscarriage goes - physically I am absolutely fine (even though I decided not to have a D&C against the docs recommendation) - mentally - at times sad, but it certainly helps having two other bundles of energy around. My Blessings do not give me much time to dwell on my loss! Thanks for asking - Dh and I did not tell anybody about the pregnancy (I had a previous early miscarriage before David and of course we were so excited about the pregnancy we had told everybody), but one does make plans like EC'ing from the start and using cloth nappies when needed and then poof it is not going to happen. Then one does feel the need to tell at least somebody.

[Raven]

:hug mamadavid

my number is 0721302208

[sally Z]

Hi Mamadavid

Hope you are doing okay. I guess as you said having 2 others helps distract you. I told everyone very early in my pregnancy, well it was the first and I was excited but I also thought that if I did miscarry then I would want the support of other people. I was so sick in the beginning that it was a good thing that work knew. They were all so supportive, which really helped, if i had to pretend all was okay I could not have done it

[sally Z]

oh meant to ask, where do you usually chat?

[sunshinesister]

Hi mamas -
I thought I'd send my greetings as SA is the closest I see to NAM...I lived there for several years, several times, but find myself back in the USA wishing with all my heart to be back in NA... but alas, i must wait until my baby is born and ready to travel! All you cape town mamas live in the most beautiful city i've ever been in my life. funny what was said about black african mamas greeting you when you've got the sling on - before i left NA i bought an odekwa (an owambo sling) at the market in katatura and everyone there was more than pleased. not to mention how amazed they were that i was a white american who could speak oshiwambo (however broken my speech was...) who wanted to buy mahangu and all the other wonderful foods. at the time, i hadn't even begun to think about having a baby, i just wanted to be prepared with an odekwa b/c i didn't know when i'd be able to afford returning to the beautiful country.
dreaming of the stars and table rock and so on and so forth.......

[Raven]

Hi sunshinesister! :wave

[sally Z]

Hi Sunshinesister. I would love to see pics of your odekwa. It sounds cool.
Raven is going to think she is cool now living in CT but poor old PTA is not that bad. LOL :lol

[AnnieMarie]

Hi All,

SallyZ - I just love your website!!! I have been making my own cloth nappies as i haven't been able to find any here in KZN, I am really glad to have popped in here.

I also get a lot of funny looks about my AP ideas, my baby is due in May and we are planning to home/water birth, two women here who have just had babies both had elective ceasars and think I am nuts........ It is rather difficult to make friends.

[AnnieMarie]

did you get a mooncup?
Forgot to ask, what is a mooncup?

[DarkHorseMama]

I have been making my own cloth nappies as i haven't been able to find any here in KZN, I am really glad to have popped in here.

I also get a lot of funny looks about my AP ideas, my baby is due in May and we are planning to home/water birth, two women here who have just had babies both had elective ceasars and think I am nuts........ It is rather difficult to make friends.AnnieMarie, I know what you mean about the mainstream mentality being everywhere. My SIL (who gave birth in Empangeni) was convinced that I either could not or should not give birth naturally. She said that she fell in love with her anesthesiologist! FWIW, I was in a personal counseling session today and the therapist asked me what was my proudest moment. I didn't even need to think about it! I told her that it was having an unmedicated VBAC birth along with the awe and power I found within myself for accomplishing it. That is the image she wants me to focus on, that image of accomplishment and self-fulfillment, and to think I wouldn't have nearly the same perception had I used the epidural! Birth is a life-changing, powerful event for every woman, but an unmedicated birth can be so much more empowering.

And making your own nappies! You go, girl! :D But you're in the land of the Snappi...I'm surprised you haven't had any luck finding their nappies nearby. I used them on my DD for a long while.

Oh, a MoonCup is a menstrual cup. Other brands are The Keeper and DivaCup. I :throb my Keeper. :innocent :lol

[AnnieMarie]

Darkhorsemama - Had I not "fired" my last dr, I would have been giving birth in Empangeni too... but he seemed to think wanting to give natural birth was ridiculous, and as for having a birth plan, he said we either did things his way or he was not prepared to be my dr......(told him what he could do with that). Anyhow at least we are all set for homebirth now!!!!
As for the nappies it is a really tedious job, but at least I will be able to use them for any other babies we may have. Haven't had any luck finding snappy nappies.
I did find info about the mooncup, YAY finally an alternative to the bleached chemical laden stuff one gets at the supermarket!!! I will definitely go that route after this one is born.
It is wonderfull that you were able to have VBAC, giving natural birth is one of the most amazing things we as women achieve (IMO anyhow).

[SarahJ]

Hey Sally (and other SA moms) I see you're here too! I'm Sarah (BN) from babynet :shy :love