Student Parents....

[kerc]

I just thought I would check in with everyone -- but I did a search for the last 10 days and couldn't find the old thread, so i figured we could begin anew.

Im in the week before the last week of classes. DD is 4 weeks, I have a take home test and a paper -- both of which are due anytime I can get them out. I'm hopeful I can do it next week, to leave me with a nice 10 or so day break before i get back into the lab after christmas.

DD has begun sleeping at least 4 hours in a row!!! (OK I have to admit, last night 4.5 hours in the car seat. but whatever works). DH comes to campus with us and if she's sleeping just works in my graduate student office with her in her carseat. Today she woke up and he brought her down to my class. The prof is really cool about things, so i just fed her and we went on with class.

How's everyone else?

[LaLaLuna]

Hey Kristin- congratulations on that 4 hours in a row! :thumb

Sounds like things are actually fairly sane for you. Yay!

My life is a nonstop ride with the frenzy fairy and I am getting WAY dizzy.

I have four finals, three of them on the same day (I thought) due to some crazy scheduling by the college during finals week. I got in a fight with my main teacher for this year (the one teaching the majority of my classes plus clinicals) and was P*SSED to the point of wanting to drop out of school- he's one of those really emotionally immature 50 year olds that just make me want to run screaming in the other direction when I even so much as meet them on the street... and I have to figure out how to stick with it in a hierarchal system for a few more months (UGH!)

My kids are showing major symptoms of stress from this whole crazy year and I'm having a lot of self-doubt as to whether my timing with all this is the right thing. I'm exhausted- jonesing for a massage and with absolutely no time to schedule one.

Aren't you glad you asked?;)

Anyone else?

[~member~]

My baby is now 11 weeks old, and boy, do I know how you feel! FOUR hours! YES! it's amazing, huh? But I am still so sleep deprived lol! My brain feels like mush.
I have a question, though, please: my financial aid advisor refuses to increase my budget. I am a single mom of two (6 yo dd and 11 week old dd), and the financial aid advisor says that financial aid is ONLY for educational expenses. BUT if i want additional loans, she will increase my budget, but not for the $1600 grant that I qualify for.
Does anyone know the laws regarding being a parent and student and financial aid?
As you all know, it is impossible to attend college full time, work a job, AND be a full time parent. I speak to other students who do NOT have children and their budget is $16,400, while mine is $9800! I don't get it. Does anyone have any ideas? I do not want to drop out of college. BTW I am pre-med, third year, majoring in biochemistry.
TIA, MamaInTheBoonies

[hoppytoad]

Originally posted by MamaInTheBoonies
Does anyone know the laws regarding being a parent and student and financial aid?

I'm new to this thread, and I don't have and info. for you, but just wanted to say that I'd like to know the same thing. I mean, I thought you just had to deal with what they gave you. Can you actually increase the grants you get??? I'm a single mama too, with a 4 yr old DS and a 5 month old DD. My major is Elem Ed. but i'm thinking of changing to business management or something general like that.

[LaLaLuna]

MITB; do you apply for your financial aid online or do you do it through the school? I have a working husband, but we still get money allotted for things like living expenses and childcare. I get loans now, but we've always had funds assigned for those things. Sounds like you have a less than effective FA advisor? I would apply online next time and see if it does you any better.

[Unreal]

I did my undergrad as a single parent in Indiana, but at a few different campuses there...and I can safely say that everything really depends on the campus.
At one of them I finally threw a complete temper tantrum and wrote them this insanely sarcastic letter completely in black crayon. Probably didn't do me any good, but man did I feel better.

But seriously--there were definitely things I could itemize that helped me boost my financial aid package--gas, housing (I always lived off campus), and child-care were probably the main ones. The only things that aren't "need-based" are the unsubsidized student loans....the rest is supposed to be to cover stuff like tuition, books, housing (but not beyond what they charge for dorm room & board), gas/travel expenses, and child care...things that directly relate to your being in school. They budget a certain amount for living expenses and don't care about anything beyond that (like that your furnace died and the temp in the house was 30 and you had to buy a new furnace and have it installed....not their problem....). Loans on the other hand.....those they aren't nearly so finicky about....

I maxed out my loans each semester and pretty much lived off of those, but I also did work-study so that I could qualify for stuff like food stamps and insurance for my son (I never qualified for myself). We also did WIC and were usually in constant contact with the local United Way office, since they were a HUGE help when finances got way out of control. They always knew who I should call for stuff :) I know a lot of people don't like to do student loans (but hey, as long as you stay in school for the rest of your life, you don't have to repay them...that's my plan...) or the gov't assistance or anything, but I couldn't have made it without those programs even with all the grief they gave me about how I should quit school and get a 'real job' (paying minimum wage, of course).

I'm still trying to figure out what we are going to do next semester....I'm due for kiddo #2 in March and was basically directed by my department to take a leave of absence (and "get my priorities straight" or get out of the program)...but that means I lost my funding and financial aid for the semester. Hubby-dear goes to school too, so we went to the financial aid advisor to have them boost his package, and of course, without even looking at any of our info said they can't adjust his package just because I'm not getting any aid. So apparently, according to them, a family of four can survive for 6 months on $3,000.
We ended up filling out some paperwork, but I'm not holding my breath...this whole school here seems to be quite against anyone having a life outside of school. *bleh*

But....MAN am I glad this semester is OVER!!!! I was |-| that close to filling out the forms to withdraw from school. Now I just have to complete 2 incompletes and 1 independent study and prepare for my exams in January.......
I just want to sit in my rocker and be happily pregnant for a while.... (not that I need to vent or anything *grin*)

Lauren :)

[LaLaLuna]

Oh yeah- here's one other thing I can tell you about that is totally pertinent to ALL the women going to school here- a grant called the Sumasil Grant -write to this address: Sumasil Foundation Grant Program for Women
Jennifer Easton, Director, Sumasil Foundation, P.O. Box 758, Stillwater, MN 55082
*
and ask for an application. I think they award up to $3000 annually (per grant, I mean) It's for women striving to achieve financial independence.

[April 2007]

Ugh!!! I'm having a horrible time just trying to get the little amount of money I do get, let alone try and get more. I'm a single mama to my almost 4 month old son. I'm in my second yr of college and because of my wonderful family, I don't have to work. I take all my classes at home also. Right now there are 4 of us living off of no more than $15,000 a year. Needless to say, I'm upset that my stupid college hasn't even given me my pell grant money yet, and I've been trying to get it since august!!!

I just took a final on saturday, and have another one on wednesday.I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo relieved that the end of the semester is right around the corner!!

good luck to everyone, oh and thanks for the address for the scholarship. if anyone knows of any others, please lemme know!!

[LaLaLuna]

Hey Noah- want to party together next year? We Leo's gotta stick together, y'know :wave

Lory- born 8/19/66

[April 2007]

hey that's cool. You're the first person I've "met" that has the same birthday as my son! My birthday was exactly 2 weeks before he was born, so we're all peridot-green people.

[kerc]

Is anyone else busy this weekend doing a little happy dance because the semester is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!


I am excited and because:
1. i'm visiting family so there are no meals for me to cook
2. school is done for the semester


if only i can stay away from the holiday goodies enough to help me shed the extra 40 baby lbs I am carrying around.....

[~member~]

Hello!
Well, are we all on holiday break, now? I have a whoppin' five weeks! Yay!!! Then I'll be taking physics and calculus II (again)! I am so not looking forward to next semester. I have no money, so no exotic trip to the Cayman Islands lol! My sister is once again sending me money so I can go home for X-mas. I get to stay at my mom's the 23rd til the 6th of Jan!!!! Can you tell I miss my mom? lol!
I got a couple of gifts from the Toys for Tots for my girls. When we got home later that day, Santa's helpers knocked at my door and gave us a X-mas tree!!! Cool, huh? I was crying. It's one of those little ones with the lights already on it. My 6 yr old dd was so happy. That's one of the only things she wanted, the other is to be with her gramma on X-mas day.
So, I am happy. things are working out. Now I just need to figure out financial aid. I have looked at other schools, and indeed, I would get a better budget, but the cost of living is higher in those places, so it really wouldn't help, kwim? I just know that there must be something I can do here. My dd loves her school ,and all her friends are here and .... well, you know that story.
Hope all is going well with you!:thumb

[mama2girls]

While not currently a student, I just wanted to say--go for it!! You are doing an awesome thing!

I started a master's degree plus teaching certification about 9 months before dd#1 was concieved and finished up about 2 1/2 months before dd#2 was born. I also got the joy of giving up a graduate assistantship that I couldn' t handle when I had ppd with #1.

I know how you all feel. College while pg is bad enough, but finals while pg with a toddler was he**. And then there are the issues of finding quality part time child care...

Please hang in there, get lots of sleep and cuddle time with the kids during break. You can get through this!! In the long run you are going to be able to better provide for and educate your children!!

DD#1 6-13-00
DD#2 8-2-02

[LaLaLuna]

Now why isn't there a melting-in-relief emoticon? :D

I"ve actually been on break for almost a week but it just hasn't sunk in! Tomorrow we go up to my dad and step-mom's (which I'm not looking forward to) but after that it's chill-time. With maybe a little baking thrown in.

AM Mom- you sound like you've been in the trenches! i didn't start school til after ds2 was born- considering the extreme fatigue I had with both pregnancies I think I would have dropped out in the first trimester.

MITB- I'm glad the xmas fairies have been coming through for you. It's not fair to have to agonize over money and raise kids at the same time.:crying

And Kerc- time enough for dieting after the new year. At least that's what I keep telling myself. :thumb

[Unreal]

I think my midwife found the perfect way to keep me from overeating junk food for Christmas--they scheduled me for a glucose test on Dec. 30th (with the warning to avoid anything with added sugar for 3 days before hand)!!!! Talk about not fair :(

Of course I'm sure I'll eat more than my fair share while ds and I make christmas cookies and fudge this weekend ;)

As for school--I have a question for any of you that survived being pregnant while in school (I took 3 semesters off with ds#1!! talk about getting spoiled!!!).

Did any of you have serious problems being able to focus enough to write papers? I mean I've been cranking out papers left and right for the past 6 years, and suddenly this semester writing anything for school is this major headache. I can't focus on anything long enough to get a coherent paragraph out.
Anyhow--did this happen to any of you? How long did it take your brain to wake back up after you had your babe? Any suggestions on how to deal with it until then?
I have the written portion of my MA exams Jan 24th and I have absolutely no clue how on earth I'll get through that. At least I was mentally awake enough to opt for the 24 hr take home option instead of doing it on campus...but I'm still stressing over it.

[mama2girls]

LOL!! I was really miserable during my first tri with dd#1 (Annika). I had a class at 8 am with a really boring prof who read his notes from a web page. I can't remember anything from that class. I couldn't think, I was so totally exhausted and while I didn't actually vomit many times I was very nauseated all day long.

ljkelly--It didn't seem to take long, in fact by the 3rd tri of each pg I was doing much better. Luckily we planned (sort of ) pg #2 (Mia) so that my 1st tri was during the winter break between semesters. The last couple of weeks of fall sem were tough, but then Annika and I spent a nice long month sleeping a lot!! With pg #2 I was exhausted much longer, but at least I knew that it would end. Try to get as much sleep as you can and stay hydrated this winter. I also told dh that I was really struggling to just do the basics of housekeeping and he was going to have to do his fair share. That helped.

I see that you are due in March- hopefully you'll be a little less tired by 1/24. When I wrote my MA comprehensive exams I just tried to get dh to take Annika away for a couple of weekend days so I could really concentrate. The same with studying for orals. I also had Annika in part time day care and they let me stretch the hours a little during that time.

LaLaLuna-I was tempted to drop out with pg exhaustiong and after Annika was born. I spent a lot of days crying to my dh about how I couldn't handle the workload or the seperation or my annoying prof who was in charge of my graduate assistantship and emailed me 3 days after we came home from the hosp. wanting to know when I would get back to work (she's over 40 and single--can you tell?) I ended up with ppd and on meds--but didn't get diagnosed until Annika was 4 mo old. It was a rough semester, but somehow I made it! I was good for school and Annika and rotten to myself during that time.

Well, I see that this is turning into a really long post, but I hope that it helps to have someone who has been there. I know that I relied heavily on a couple of moms in my grad program who seemed to be able to do it all (they couldn't and it sure helped to hear them say it!). Let me know if you wish I'd quit infiltrating your student parent board! :D

[Unreal]

AM Mom--I can safely say that it is nice to hear from survivors ;)
Especially on the whole grad school thing--I really had no clue that grad school was going to be so different from undergrad. If I had, I think I would have taken a year off to let life settle a little bit more and to do a bit more research about schools.

Hopefully I can get dh to keep ds occupied for some of this break so I can get work/readings done, but we homeshool him and I do the majority of the subjects. Basically I have to have a minimum of 3 hours of coherent thought to do that--and that just about does it for the day. And I SURE don't want to go read more postcolonial theory and gunk afterwards.

Don't you ever find yourself reading your kid's books instead of your schoolbooks, just because they are so much more interesting? I spend so much time procrastinating by reading ds's books :angel

Time to go get some sleep (YAY for winter break!!!!!!)

Lauren

[kerc]

my first trimester was devoted almost entirely to sleeping, when i wasn't in school.

during the second i had to write a 15 pg research proposal for my phd....i STRUGGLED with that big time. Then during month 7 I took my oral qualifying exams. Blech! Now i am struggling to write once again, but only because I am too busy to get much done.

[April 2007]

ALL my trimesters were spent during school at my local community college! My first and most of second were this past spring semester. It was tough but I got through it. I had morning, afternoon, and even late night 3 hour classes! The biggest thing (obviously) was that I was soooooooo tired!

The end of my second and all of my third trimester was spent in summer school math class. My pregnant brain was struggling soo hard to keep up. I ended up with an A, but it seemed impossible. I was always making the dumbest mistakes on tests. Like I would do a problem that took a whole page to do, and I would get it wrong because in the very beginning I'd do something like 7+7 equals 21 or something dumb like that. So of course everything else in the problem was wrong.

The class ended 4 days before I started labor, and I gave birth 64 hours after that!!

It was tough, but I'm glad I did it...more classes I don't have to take WITH a baby!

[Unreal]

It's just funny though, cause with ds#1 (7 now, so I was younger then too) I didn't have any problems with my brain working. I took classes during the summer while I was pregnant--and they ended 2 weeks before he was born (I think I would have been scared if it had pushed any closer to my due date!! Can you imagine campus security trying to help deliver your babe?? :eek )

This time round though...I couldn't even follow discussion in class. By the time I absorbed what was being said and had a response--they were on to something else. I actually ended up dropping one class and taking an independent study in its place. I found that I can deal with 'projects' much better than I can with papers--so for the independent study I am working on a website. I find that to be MUCH easier than trying to write the way I usually do. Of course I still need to read the books...but I snuck in a whole bunch of collections of short stories :) :)

Okay...so another question about dealing with the kids that are already there--do you do schoolwork during the day or do you wait until they are in bed?

Ds has always been a mellow kid, but one that needs to have my attention nearly all the time. He is to the point now where I can say "I *have* to do work right now. We'll talk/you can show that to me later," but up until this year I always did my work at night after he was in bed. I still don't even think of writing a paper while he is awake--its just too distracting.

Lauren :)

[April 2007]

i work while my son sleeps...either during naps or night time

[mama2girls]

Are you all enjoying your break?! :love Merry Christmas student mamas! And happy new year in just a few hours. Let's make next semester the best ever (ready to gag, yet?)... :D

Jenni

[LaLaLuna]

You been dippin' into the eggnog, Jenni? :p

I'm bracing myself for next term; it'll be the most packed yet and with a day of clinicals in the middle of the week, in a part of town where there is ZERO parking for miles around, starting at a time before the busses run. :scared

Seems like I just got used to the vacation rhythm and now I'm going back.:(

Anyone else?

[April 2007]

Argh!! I just wrote this post out and then accidently deleted all but one letter!!

ok lemme start over...

I finally realized that what I'e always wanted to do (for a career before I had children) is not going to work now that I have a child. I want to be a stay at home mom, and I can't do that and have a career in those things. I've come to the decision after two years of college, that I'm going to get a business degree. This is so ilarious to me because when I was in high school, ppl would say that they were getting a business degree and I would gag in my mind and think that there was no degree more boring or dull to work towards, lol.

Next summer I will begin working towards becoming a doula (I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!). I also have a long term plan of opening my own natural baby store. First online, and then an actual store!!! Can you imagine a store that had breastfeeding stuff, ALL natural stuff for babies, books on ECing, etc., etc., etc.???
I've got a huge plan in my mind. Anyway, that's a really long term goal, but Everything I can think of now that I would like to do, a business degree would be a great asset. So I'm going to talk to someone at my campus soon about what classes I should start taking (I'm so happy, too, because there are so many business classes you can take at home!).

I also have a question...how do an A.A. and an A.S. compare? I plan on getting my A.S. in small business management, and then moving on to gte a B.S. Does this compare equally to an A.A folowed by a B.A.??

TIA and many blessings for the upcoming semester (bleh),
Devin

[Unreal]

Wow! Sounds very very cool!! I wish we had something like that around here--so I could actually *look* at the things I'm buying! And it wouldn't hurt to know there was a place to just go hang out and be an attentive, attached parent without facing criticism :)


I think one of these days I'll have to worry about what I want to be when I grow up. Somehow I don't think having a PhD in Philosophy is going to having people pounding at my door with job offers--especially in the middle-of-nowhere-upstate NY...
Maybe I'll open a philosophy shop--something akin to Lucy's little psychiatry booth in Peanuts....

umm anyhoo...yeah an A.S. and and B.S. are the equivalent to a A.A. and a B.A. Some 4 year schools could care less if you came from a 2-yr with an AA or an AS (mostly because they stick you with so many of their own requirements, it wouldn't make a difference what you came in with).

I've obviously been bogged down in the humanities forever, so I can't really comment on business degree programs. I remember I used to think they were pretty useless (what can they teach you in college that you wouldn't learn in 6 months on the job...that type of stuff), but they really are a useful degree to have--especially if you might want to start a company someday (loan people look at that kind of stuff...hence my philosophy shop being more like a little booth than a shop *grin*)

So..ummm...we really need some economic growth up here, so feel free to open your store up in this area!! :D :D

Lauren :)

[~member~]

I started college when my first dd was 4 mos old. All my reading was done out loud while holding my dd in my lap (maybe that's where her huge/strange vocabulary comes from?). That lasted until she was 5 yrs old and then the reading was too boring. All paperwork was done in the am (I am one of those who NEED my sleep, so I would rather wake in the am and work) or while my dd's are in daycare.
Also, my dd's sleep with me, so, they go to sleep when I do, which means that if I wanted to study/work after they were in bed...no chance. It is nice though, cuz if I sleep in, then they sleep in right with me lol! That also means we have all gotten in the habit of 'not hearing' the alarm. :eek

Well, I have taken your advice and have started looking at other colleges and talking with their financial aid officers. I am seriously considering transferring. Better classes, better aid, maybe better housing...I dunno. The only thing I worry about is my 6 yr old dd. she would have to start at a whole new school and make new friends, etc. Also, I would have to find housing, daycare, and a school for my dd. Maybe it would all be worth it, though? Instead of five more yrs of undergrad, I would be looking at three, then onto med school!

Ok, I'll quit and just concentrate on getting through this semester and getting to know my new baby lol!
TIA MamaInTheBoonies :love

[LaLaLuna]

Wow, MitB- you're not afraid to take on the tough issues, are you? :LOL

Still- three years of undergrad sounds way more appealing than five! Keep us posted- I hope it all turns out perfectly.

[Unreal]

I'm such a mean mommy....I dragged ds around with me all over the place. We've moved 4 times now just because of my switching schools (or campuses). That doesn't include the moves we've done just to get out of a cruddy house or over-priced area.

Anyhow--he's done fine with the moves. We make it a real point to keep in touch with the people that mean a lot to us. He writes letters and things like that. Before he could write, he would just make pictures or cards and send those.
We have one family that we still drive 700 miles :eek to visit at least once a year--neither of us are quite ready to let go of them yet :)

Every once in a while I start feeling really guilty, but then I think about the incredible people we wouldn't have met if we hadn't moved. There are great people anywhere you go!! I promise! And they always make it worthwhile in the end. :) :)

As for the schoolwork thing...I would LOVE to be able to do work during the day, but ds has never been a real independent kid. He's never been the type to be happy playing with toys while I worked. Even now, if he is reading while I'm reading, he has to stop and tell me what is going on every 2 minutes.
Luckily, I am a night-owl by nature. I can function pretty well until at least 2 and be almost human after about 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I'd rather 12, don't get me wrong! But 5 or 6 will work. Or at least they did until I got pregnant with kiddo #2!! This pregnancy is killing my productivity--although I suppose I'm be productive in the most important way right now :D

But things are much better than the could have been. Ds is older and can fix his own breakfast now, so I can actually sleep as late as I need to. We homeschool, so we just start schoolwork whenever I'm semi-conscious. Not too bad of a deal all around.

Then again, I'm definitely not on any track that would be as stressfull as med school! Give me humanities or give me death ;)
Of course...you'll have a job when you leave school. I'll have my PhD in Philosophy hanging on my cardboard box. Do you think they have boxes with internet connections? :scratch

Of course that's assuming I survive my MA exams this month :eek

[kerc]

we took dd with us to the university yesterday -- I worked in the lab in the am, dh kept her in the office. Then dh worked in the library in the afternoon adn I had her in the office. Not ideal. but it worked.

dd begins daycare monday, I am very apprehensive. I was ok leaving her with dh- he is great with her and her dad after all. But a stranger? And I don't really love the place we are taking her this week. She'll be there until may, when a better place opens up. but again, I remind myself that one cannot take a baby into a lab using harsh chemicals.

[mamaknature]

Hi. After reading your posts, I'm feeling a little bit more confident about starting school again.

I'm expecting baby #2 in July and I have a 16 month boy. My husband wants to go back to school as well.
We are so sick of making minimum wage and really want to get out of our debt.

What I really WANT to do is Waldorf teacher training, which will take 3 years if I start this Fall. If the schedule is compatible with my dh's, then I'll go for it, but I really don't want to put a 2 month old into daycare. If I don't start this fall, I have to put it off another year, which might be better.

I say I WANT Waldorf, but I also want to be here for my newborn and my toddler. What has been some of your experiences going to school with newborns? I'm thinking that I'm going to have to work nights throughout my pregnancy and soon after the birth.
Do you think the fall is too soon?
:angel

[LaLaLuna]

Hey mamaknature- congratulations on #2!

My second was around 8 months old when I went back to school. I started off very slow - 6 credits per term for the first few- and it worked out ok. I've so far been very fortunate in being able to tailor the school schedule mostly around dh's work schedule so have used very little daycare but I know that waldorf training is rather less flexible. I think that age was pretty good for us- by then we were functioning as a family of 4 and all the early transition was behind us. Ds2 is now nearly 3 and I'm up to full time. I'm a little scared about that but we'll see.

If you're going to have to work anyway after birth, you might as well go to school. Can you get grants or funding for waldorf training?:D

Good luck- let us know on what you decide!

[mama2girls]

Good questions! Dd was 10 weeks when I started back after taking the summer off to have her. I had her in an in-home day care and she was the only baby (less than 6 kids). It was also only part time--I think 3-4 half days a week and I studied late at night or when she slept. It was more of a challenge as she grew, and didn't want me to be doing anything except play with her and as her naps shortened. I also got teacher certification (and a master's in library and info science, finished last May), and the student teaching semester she was in day care full time (still in-home with my next door neighbor) she was 15 months-18 months old. That was a good age to have her away full time. She had spent enough time with me to really bond well, but was independent enough by that time to have friends and enjoy all the social aspects of day care. She still, even though I'm a SAHM, goes two half days a week for the socialization with her friends (and time for mom and baby sis to bond alone).

Good luck, keep with us for support, you CAN do it!!

Jenni
dd 6-13-00
dd 8-2-02

[Unreal]

I can't really comment on school with an infant, although I'll be giving it a go in the fall.

I managed to stay home with ds1 until he was about 16 months. By that point in time, my brain was turning into mush and really needed to get back to school. I couldn't afford to go part-time, so I dove right in going full time. All my teachers were great though. I couldn't have done it without them.
Ds spent a lot of time on campus with me, including in class when necessary--but it was always something I discussed with my teachers first.

We're hoping with kiddo #2 that we can keep our schedules arranged so that one of us will always be able to be home, but I'm sure the school will find some way to mess that up--they always do. They've made me grumpy enough, though, that I have no qualms at all about bringing #2 with me every day, if I need to.

To be honest though, I think school is MUCH easier with a kiddo than a steady job. In general, the teachers are much more understanding and your schedule can be more flexible. I tend to aim for programs that don't mind you taking a bit longer to get through the degree requirements--they seem to be the most understanding of non-traditional students.

[LaLaLuna]

Originally posted by ljkelly


To be honest though, I think school is MUCH easier with a kiddo than a steady job. In general, the teachers are much more understanding and your schedule can be more flexible. I tend to aim for programs that don't mind you taking a bit longer to get through the degree requirements--they seem to be the most understanding of non-traditional students.


I wish I'd had a clearer understanding of that when I started; my schedule up until now has been very flexible (yay!) but now that I'm actually in my program things are very rigid; clinicals are so tightly scheduled that Im pretty much at the mercy of my teachers and b/c they've completely changed the program starting this year people tend to be a little stressed and not happy about special requests. Luckily, dh's work schedule is mostly pretty flexible.:)

[Unreal]

yeah, I had some issues with IUB at one point. I was supposed to do my student teaching, which would have been fine, but they placed me at a school that was over an hour away and I would have had to have been there at 7:30. At that point I was still doing the whole single parent thing (which they were aware of). There was absolutely NO way I could (or even would) keep that kind of schedule. They were complete jerks about the whole thing. I ended up not student teaching and I didn't get my teaching certification, which is kind of frustrating at times. I don't know if I would use it, but at least then I would have something that shows that I have a solid background in teaching/education and I could use it if I wanted to!

Ah well. Luckily the grad schools could care less if I got my certification. All they wanted to see were my transcripts and my GRE scores. And I found a good interdisciplinary grad school program that pretty much lets me do whatever I want (except have another kid *growl* Not that I am still bitter over their treatment of the whole thing....)

[~member~]

A nice long weekend and did I get any school work done? hahahahahahahahahahaha

NO!!!!:rolleyes: Oh, well, I did get my apartment kind of clean and my oldest dd got a bath lol! I have a lab report due on wednesday and a calc test on wed? too? oh, no!!!! Ok, i am off this thing and need to get to work.

How is everyone?

Did I say that my oldest dd got the flu and was pukin' all weekend? and my baby must have been a little ill too, cuz for the first time in her life she actually had crying fits.

Ok, for real, I am off....:love

[Unreal]

Originally posted by MamaInTheBoonies
I have a lab report due on wednesday and a calc test on wed? too? oh, no!!!!

Please oh PLEASE tell me your school is on trimesters or something!!
Tomorrow is the first day for classes here!

I hope the kiddos are feeling better!!
And may the force be with you on the calc test! CalcII was what finally convinced me I should focus on the humanities, not the sciences :)

[mama2girls]

Originally posted by ljkelly
CalcII was what finally convinced me I should focus on the humanities, not the sciences :)

Me too! :D or else it was Organic Chemsitry. And I ended with a major in Anthropology and a Master's in Library Sci. and teaching certification!!

Can I admit here that I actually failed Organic? :jaw

[kerc]

Yep, although I did not actually fail it, I came awfully damn close. (And I am a scientist and its required!)

School starts today....I'm not taking any classes, just doing research. The "just" part of that sentence is a little misleading...


off to the lab I go.
dd is home with her dad and when I left them they were both smiling. I'm sending all my happy, giggling and napping vibes to them...


and I just want to add that the one thing no one told me about breastfeeding was how much I would hate pumping!

[Unreal]

Originally posted by kerc
and I just want to add that the one thing no one told me about breastfeeding was how much I would hate pumping!

Oh please don't say that!!
I didn't have to pump with #1, so know nothing about it, but have plans to pump with #2 (since the big, evil school is making me go back in the fall....*growl*)

I understand exactly what you mean about the research....I technically have this semester off--
But I have my written MA exam this Friday...my oral exam on the 3rd...and three incompletes that need to magically get finished.

Oh those evil incompletes!!!

And I just want to sit around the house and basque in pregnancy and baby thoughts!!

Oh well...what's the worst they can do? (I'm not sure I really want an answer to that!!)

[mama2girls]

I so feel your pumping pain! I hated to pump with #1, and am so fortunate not to have to any more!!! Graduating before dd#2 was born was a wonderful thing. In fact, I am so lazy about the pumping that dd#2 won't even take a bottle!!

It's hard to bond with the pump. Try not to think about it as you are pumping--don't stare at the bottles, just think about how much you love your little one!!

Gotta go, Mia's awake!

[boysrus]

Please wise women, explain the process to me! Dh and I are planning to go to college in the fall. We both want to go full time. We are currently very poor and have always been poor. Our family of 5 has not made ore than $15,000. SO, how do we work the financial aid thing? How do we find out what schools will give good packages, including living expenses? We are applying mostly to schools in CO. We are NM residents. There is one school in northern NM(scommunity college) that we will apply to, but we would rather go to Colorado. We are applying to a mix of state schools and community colleges. I am just so bewildered! And it feels so late in the year right now! we have just startred the process. So, please help! I don't even really have enough know how to ask good questions. But, everything I read seems to be in the: "FInancial aid will give you money towards college, but you will need to come up with the rest" That is not possibel. LAst year, our efc was $235. DH applied to a school(ou of state) and they offered him $6,000 in scholarships and $7,000 in loans. That barely coverd tuition, never mind all the expenses. SO, how do we secure money? I assume my going to school as well will help, right?

[mama2girls]

I can only tell you how it worked for me to go to the University of Iowa and for dh to go to William Mitchell College of Law in MN. You have to fill out a FAFSA (free ap. for federal student aid), and you can get it either at the college or online, I think it's at fafsa.gov. They will come up with a financial aid package based on your income and the people in your family.

We both recieved aid packages that offered both the entire cost of tuition and books/living/transportation, etc. expenses. Some were scholarships (not much), most were subsized loans (gov. pays interest while you are in school) and a few were unsubsized (interest accrues starting immediately). We were always able to take out enough in loans to cover the loss of income from only one of us working.

The money goes first to the school who covers tuition and fees and then the extra money is disbursed to you from them. It only comes twice a year, so don't spend it all the first month!

HTH!

[Unreal]

Boysrus,
I'm guessing that you live on the border between the states? A lot of schools offer reciprocity, which basically means they'll grant you in-state tuition, even though you technically live out of state.

To be honest, I've only been able to afford one semester of out of state tuition--even with maxing out student loans and grants and everything the school had to offer me. Is relocation an option? Or even, dare I suggest it, finding someone willing to let you use their address as your 'home address'? (Not very ethical, but I've known lots of people who have done it without a problem).

Out-of-State tuition at public schools is often almost as much as it is for a private school--but the private schools I dealt with were better prepared to offer substantial financial aid packages. It might be worth looking into, if you aren't interested in changing your state of residency.

Also, the earlier you get your applications in, the better off you are!! Fill out the Fafsa now now now now...as in RIGHT NOW--open up a new browser window and go start the application!! And check to see if the schools have any financial aid forms that they require (some are really dorky and require you to fill out their own forms too...which is SUCH a PAIN!!).

The maximum for financial aid packages for undergrad independent (married or with kids) students FOR A YEAR are:

Pell Grant: $3,750
Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant (SEOG): $4,000
Perkins Loan: $4,000
Subsidized Loans: $2,625 for 1st year undergraduates, $3,500 for 2nd year undergraduates, $5,500 for each remaining undergraduate year
UnSubsidized Loans: $4,000 per year for first & second years of undergraduate study, $5,000 per year for remaining years of undergraduate study

This is just the federal stuff. Typically if you go out of state, you can't qualify for any state aid, which can be a significant help.
If you aren't getting at least that much aid from the school, make sure you find out why. Graduate school amounts are lots higher for the loans.

My dh and I are both full-time students--he's an undergrad and I'm a grad student, and while things are usually REALLLLLY tight by the end of the semester, we get buy. Budgeting $$ becomes incredibly important--don't splurge at the start of the semester just because you just got a check for $4,000! (That took a long time for me to learn...It's so hard not to go out and buy everything you've been 'needing' for 2 months, but couldn't afford!).

Oh--and watch for the work-study stuff. Unless you need to have a job to qualify for other programs (welfare--which in some states does not count work-study as earned income!!), I would advise against it. My experience has been that they take what money you've been granted for work-study and deduct it from your loan amounts. So--you are better off finding a flexible part-time job on your own and still getting the max financial aid package...(that is, if you are like me and don't care about the mounting loans. I just plan to stay in school forever so I don't have to deal with them!)

Ummm...yeah....that's a lot of info! If you have any questions about it, let me know. I always try to keep a heads up on financial aid crud. That way, when I walk in the office, I know if they are trying to be overly stingy. :)

HTH...and that it wasn't an information overload!

Lauren :)

[mama2girls]

Good job Lauren! As you can tell, I haven't had to deal with undergrad stuff in awhile ('96), but have done the grad thing almost every semester since then between dh and I.

[Unreal]

Doh--
I forgot to mention that your going to school can potentially help--but the way I understand it is...

If you are working right now, and are making money (that is the point of working, isn't it??)--that is decreasing your husbands financial aid.

If you are not working right now, then you shouldn't be decreasing his aid, although aren't increasing it either.

If you go to school, you should get the same type of financial aid as he does--meaning that if he gets $3000 over tuition, you will too. And $6,000 is a whole lot nicer than $3000. They view each of you as separate students, so your financial aid packages are separate, if that makes sense. Yours shouldn't affect his, and his shouldn't affect yours.

Obviously, if neither of you is going to get enough money to pay tuition and leave you anything for living, then you're going to school isn't going to help :( :(

It might help to contact the schools and see if they have a Non-Traditional Student group or office or advisor or anything. Most schools do have *someone* that is used to dealing with non-traditional students and can usually shed some light on what the school will do to help you succeed there. The admissions office might know better who to talk to...I wouldn't really deal with the financial aid offices any more than I had to; they tend to make me very grumpy.

Again, if you have any questions, let me know...I'll try to dig up answers!!

Lauren :)

[Ravin]

I thought I'd chime in here. I'm an expectant mommy, trying to slog through Organic Chemistry. I'll only be 2nd trimester when I finish this semester, but we're moving mid-summer, so I'm going to go ahead and take a year off, both to stay home with baby and to make sure I qualify as a resident in the state we're moving to before I start at my new school. I'm also going to change my major: from human/cell/genetic biology to conservation/ecology/population genetics type biology. NO MORE CHEMISTRY!!! :-)

My husband is supportive of my decision to take off a year. our babe will be nearly a year old when I start school again, so I hope to avoid pumping (DH insists it's not that tough, his 1st wife did it, but I felt sorry for the cow I saw strapped to a machine when I was a kid, and certainly have no desire to do it to myself!)

[kerc]

Originally posted by Ravin
My husband is supportive of my decision to take off a year. our babe will be nearly a year old when I start school again, so I hope to avoid pumping (DH insists it's not that tough, his 1st wife did it

I had to laugh when I read this....my dh would NEVER say that pumping is easy....he's seen me when I first started pumping (when I got more from leaking while I was nursing than I did from pumping). and now I'm dealing with finding a good place to pump at school. I'm finding that the best place is my car.

I actually bitch about pumping a lot more than I should. I'm happy nursing is going well and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just have to make time for it and I want to use every minute I am away from my baby in a useful manner.

[mama2girls]

"I'm finding that the best place is my car."

That's so funny!! Been there, done that! I used to have dh bring dd home to me from the sitter on his lunch break so I could pump before she got there. It was too hard to walk in the door with her and try to pump--plus it took an extra half an hour at least to get her and get home and my boobs just couldn't take it.

When M was about 10 weeks old (and still liked an occasional bottle), we spent a day by ourselves a couple of hours from home. I had to bring along the pump and the car adapter along--so I could be on the same schedule she was during the day!! Now I've given up pumping and bottles. She just wants her mama. What a feeling... :)

[mamaley]

Hi fellow student-parents,
I know I'm joining late, but I could really, really, really use a chance to talk with other student mamas. I just started my first semester back full time (the past few semesters have been 6 hours each) and now I'm taking 12. I had no idea how different full time would be from part time. My 2.5 yo is in a wonderful Montessori preschool part time, and he's transitioned so well (this is his first place out o fthe home) but I feel SO BUSY! And I'm really tired....
Anyone else??

[Dana]

there were so many students here at MDC and I've been lurking a looooong time! It's so nice to meet you all. I'm in grad school and (according to my optimistic advisor) will finish in August. My dd is 20 months old and I've barely done a thing since I got pregnant with her. I'm totally obsessed with her and the sleep deprivation (she's high need) is basically killing me :wink

After some very hard thinking over the break I've decided to "waste" my degree so that we (dh, dd and I) can move back to where dh's parents live and where we both went to undergrad. I'm so excited. I have daydreams about getting to sleep for long stretches of time while my MIL watches dd :D

Anyhow, I'm really glad that my advisor has been so supportive of me while I've dragged my feet and I feel really lucky to have gotten the chance to really spend so much time with dd. AND I'm really glad that the gov't has an income contingent repayment plan for student loans! We've taken out the maximum amount for years and years :eek

I'm amazed at how much you mama's have accomplished! It's awesome!:D

[mama2girls]

And did you know that interest paid in student loans is tax deductable? (Dh is a tax attorney.)

Sigh... right now I'm back in deferment, since I don't have a job! Too bad SAHM doesn't pay cold hard cash!! But it has so many other less tangible rewards!

[Unreal]

Okay...so it is official. My brain did not magically return to me in time for my MA exams.
I have 24 hours to answer 4 questions (giving me till 2pm-ish tomorrow)...you would think that wouldn't be an issue...

My committee is going to laugh when they read the exam :(

But then again, I suppose a major question is do I really care if they laugh? I mean, what is the worst they can do? I have the oral portion of the exam in 10 days and they'll get to do a follow-up on any of the questions they didn't feel I fully addressed.

I'm hoping that overall they'll be sympathetic. Of course, I don't see how they can't be--I'll be almost 35 weeks when I go on campus for the orals. It has to be difficult to go hard a woman who has to waddle everywhere she goes!

anyhow, I just needed someplace to whimper and whine about how frustrating this is. Guess now is as good a time as any to give up being a perfectionist, eh? :(

[Dana]

Guess now is as good a time as any to give up being a perfectionist, eh?

Yep, that's about when I gave up being a perfectionist :D I only had to give a simple little 'volunteer' talk when I was that pregnant... I couldn't think about anything but how strong the kicks were! We joked about whether I would finish school before the baby did. I wish you peace of mind, ljkelly. If your committee has alot of non-parents, you might want to explain to them a little about what you're going through. A woman at school told me "What, you've still got 5 weeks to go, right?" as if I ought to be performing like nothing's going on! So I cried on her :)

AM Mom, just a student loan question. When using the income contigent repayment option, does your dh's income count too?

TIA,
Dana

[mama2girls]

Dana, They didn't ask for his income and we didn't tell! :eek We also had to do economic hardship deferrment for his loans for the first two years post law school since he wasn't making more each month than they wanted us to pay (thank god that's over).

ljkelly--I was so nervous for my orals. I could hardly remember what I was supposed to say. My thoughs are with you this week, keep on writing!! What's your degree in?

[Unreal]

ljkelly--I was so nervous for my orals. I could hardly remember what I was supposed to say. My thoughs are with you this week, keep on writing!! What's your degree in?

hahahahah you mean I'm going to have to say stuff during the orals?
I plan to bring in lots of food and just stuff my face inbetween BH contractions ;)
It would be rude to talk with my mouth full, and I really can't talk much during these silly contractions...so it's not my fault if I'm not productive during my orals--right??

And all this for a degree in philosophy (what was I thinking????)
Well, really my focus is on colonial/post-colonial/neo-colonial literature and philosophy, but in the end the degree is in Philosophy. Talk about being destined for life long poverty. But at least I'll be able to sit back and reflect on my poverty and wonder at the societal causes of it. :D

I'm still writing...I fell asleep at the computer at around 2:30 and crawled into bed with ds when he woke up sometime around 3:30 or 4 (its hard to stay stressed out when you have a snugglefiend plastered up against you holding on to your hand as he sleeps...). And then I slept till 8...whoops.

And now I made myself a cup of tea to try to wake up--but it's been sooooo long since I had caffiene that I'm getting all sorts of jittery. :lol

Of course, at this point, I'm ready to start quoting Dr. Suess. Too bad I didn't put him on my reading list....

*mental note* Next degree must be in children's lit, with a reading list comprised solely of Dr. Suess books....

[Unreal]

Dana--
only one person on my committee has children, and her son is in college, so its been a long time since she had to go through any of this. Thankfully they have all been pretty supportive. They don't understand my inability to write or focus like I usually can, which is a pain in the rear, but other than that, they have been really cool. I'm sure, though, that the ones I haven't taken a class with think I'm a half a step above an idiot...but it doesn't matter as long as they all agree in the end to let me continue on to my PhD coursework.

As for the financial aid stuff--I know they used to absolutely refuse to look at your spouse's income, which stunk for SAHMs. They weren't eligible for lower payments because they weren't working fulltime, despite the fact that their spouse was. They revised this a few years ago (not sure when exactly), so that if you need your whole family's income, you can use it.
So, from AM Mom's experience, it looks like you can do whatever is best for your situation--include all income if it will help, or just your own if that is better :)

[LaLaLuna]

LJK- you should probably qualify for at least an honorary degree in Dr. Seuss by now (we all do, right? Big B little b BBB Barber, Baby, Bubbles and a Bumblebee!)

So what does anyone know about teh Hope Lifetime Achievement dealie? This is something to do with our taxes, right? I've been in school 2 years and this has only just come to my attention and the F.A. office was less than helpful in explaining it.

In other news, I'm crashing and burning and the term's just started; I'm supposed to be doing clinicals but I'm flat on my back with pneumonia.

I hate the month of January.:help

[mama2girls]

I'll ask dh about Hope and get back to you. My first degree was in anthropology, so I understand "synonymous with no job." :D

Now at least I have the potential to be employable--i just don't want to!!

Happy Saturday, ladies!

[boysrus]

Wow, Lauren! Thanks for the info! We can't yet fill out FAFSA bc we are waiting on W2s :(
We are not on the border, we just really want to get out of NM and CO is fitting what we need.
Here is our plan right now:

I have applied to Naropa in Boulder. This is my dream school. It is expensive, but private and has a really good financial aid rate.
I am also applying to a coomunity college in Boulder. my plan is that if I do not get into Naropa, I will go to cc in town, and reapply to naropa every year till they have to accept me :)
I am also applying to Fort Lewis in Durango, which is a 4 year collge that looks kind of easy to get into. And I will apply to cc there in case dh gets into fort lewis and I dont.
I am applying to cc in Fort COllins in case CSU turns out to be the best place for dh.
I am also applying to cc in Farmington, NM. That way, if everything else falls through, we can still go too college next year adn at least we will be in a cooler part of the state. The school is only $300 a semester, and housing is cheap there, so it should all be coverd by scholarships and grants. Then, we could apply for Durango next year(at the beginning of the year, which will give us more time for scholarships) and it is only an hour away from Durango, so it would be too bad of an adjustment.

DH has applied to CSU
He is in the process of applying to University of Colorado in Boulder, Its a tough call bc CU is REALLY expensive for out of staters, but they seem to have good finacial aid averages and also it would give us the option of living on campus, which would be a lot cheaper than renting in Boulder.
Dh is also going to apply to cc in Boulder, in case I do get into Naropa and he doesnt get into CU. Or, if I can talk him into my plan of living near Naropa and applying yearly. He sould have no problem transfering to CU when the time comes, if he doesnt get in as a freshman.
He is also applying to fort lewis and cc in durango, and the cc in Farmington, NM.

Now, if we went to school in farmington and moved over the border into CO to obtain residency there, would we have to pay out of state tuition as soon as we moved out of state?

[kerc]

Originally posted by boysrus
Now, if we went to school in farmington and moved over the border into CO to obtain residency there, would we have to pay out of state tuition as soon as we moved out of state?

my experience has been you're classified as a resident/nonresident when you enter school. and you continue to pay at that rate until you either file to change your status or they 'catch' you.

one way to speed up the process is to get a job there -- ft generally helps, or to buy a house (i read above and realize the situation, but thought i would point it out for completeness).

[mama2girls]

Originally posted by LaLaLuna
So what does anyone know about teh Hope Lifetime Achievement dealie? This is something to do with our taxes, right?

This is AM Mom's husband, and I think I can help. The Hope Credit is a credit that can be taken during the first two years you are an undergraduate. The first thing that should happen is that your school should send a Form 1099E (or something like that) telling you how much tuition you paid during the last year. You would take that number and subtract any grants that are listed on the form. Then you just plug that number into the Education Credit form and do the calculations. It is a credit, meaning that it is subtracted from the tax you owe, but it is not refundable, meaning that if you do not owe any tax, you will not be able to get a refund for the unused credit.

The Hope Credit is for the first two years of undergraduate and the Lifetime Learning Credit can be used as long as you are in school.

If you have further questions, PM AM Mom.

[Unreal]

WOW that is a lot of paperwork to be dealing with!!
If you have already gotten the majority of the apps in, you aren't doing too bad on time. Schools typically don't make any decisions about admissions before Feb 15th or there about (unless it is an exceptional case...). The financial aid stuff is really just an ASAP type of thing--since the FA offices and the admissions offices are separate, you should definitely get your applications in now (if you haven't) and then do the FAFSA as soon as you can. If you have your last paystubs for the year, you should be okay starting the FAFSA. You can make adjustments/corrections to your FAFSA online later, if you need to.

Originally posted by boysrus
if we went to school in farmington and moved over the border into CO to obtain residency there, would we have to pay out of state tuition as soon as we moved out of state?

My experience has been that if you start the year instate, they typically leave you instate for the year. The following year, however, they would question your residency.

Each school (and state) has different residency requirements. Typically, to establish residency, all you need to do is register your car in that state, register to vote in that state, and have proof of address (a mortgage or lease).
The school I am at now granted me residency as soon as I did provided proof for those things (but I didn't qualify for state financial aid until I had been here for a year).
Indiana University required you to have all of that for a year before they gave you in-state tuition (which was a pain in the rear). It looks like the Colorado state schools are this way too
http://www.fortlewis.edu/catalog/catalog2002-03/fees_expenses.htm#state


Just a word of warning about living on campus in family housing--at a lot of places it is just like living in dorms. It is usually grad students and students with family--the assumption being that grad students are more mature than undergraduates and won't be throwing parties or playing loud music at all hours.
I know lots of people can and do live on campus with their families, but I just can't do it. Plus, look around at the cost of renting off campus--the apartments on campus here are so ridiculously over-priced. We rented a townhouse for less/month.

I had really high hopes of living on campus at Bloomington...and then I saw the beer and liquor bottles lining the apartment windows....talk about YUCK YUCK YUCK.

[Dana]

Hey everybody, I just E-filed my taxes and thought I'd let you know what I learned this year since you're students and mamas too.

There's a new education credit this year. It's a tuition and fees deduction. Only thing is that it can't be taken at the same time as either the Hope or Lifetime learning credit. So, if you do your taxes by hand, you'll have to compute both and then take the best one. yuck... and I'm a math student! So, I was also super happy to find out that Electronic filing is FREE!!! Based on my income, I got to use TurboTax for the web. It was great. I just answered a bunch of questions and it calculated all the education credits, all the child credits and the earned income credit. I cannot express how happy I am with not having to try to read all the questions in the tax booklet and figure out which number I'm supposed to subtract from which other number:D WooHoo!!! :thumb

So, if you're interested, just go to www.irs.gov and click on the 'efile' icon. And follow the directions. or click here http://www.irs.gov/app/freeFile/welcome.jsp (I had to turn off my software firewall for it all to work right... just in case you have some problems.)

(If you wanna read up on all the student related tax stuff, go to
http://www.irs.gov/individuals/students/index.html or if you just want the basic "publication 970" that has all the student and student loan related info http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p970.pdf )

I even got brave this year and am having my refund direct deposited! It will supposedly get to my bank in 10-16 days!!!

Hope that helps,
Dana
Now, I'm off to http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ to get more money :D Let me know if you'd like a report on that, too.

[April 2007]

to be totally and completely honest, I've never done taxes before. I don't know if I'm supposed to!

I live with my mom, I don't get child support, I make $60 a MONTH, and I get a financial aid check every semester.

Am I supposed to do taxes??????

(ugh! there are some key components to living on earth that you just somehow miss growing up, lol)

[Dana]

Devin, I really think you should file. You could get alot of money back even if you didn't pay anything in. With the education credit, the child tax credit and possibly the earned income credit you could be looking at a few thousand bucks for your time and effort. I don't know all the details but I did find this page on the irs's site:
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/page/0,,id%3D15952,00.html that has some faq's
In particular, How much does a student have to make before he or she has to file an income tax return? If you are an unmarried dependent, you must file a tax return for 2002 if you have earned income of more than $4,700, unearned income of more than $750, or if your gross income is more than $750 and exceeds your earned income by more than $250.

Even if you do not have to file, you should file a federal income tax return to get money back if any of the following apply:

You had income tax withheld from your pay.
You qualify for the earned income credit.
You qualify for the additional child tax credit. Refer to Publication 501 (PDF), Exemptions, Standard Deduction and Filing Information, for an explanation of the five exemption tests and filing requirement rules.


References:

Publication 501 (PDF), Exemptions, Standard Deduction and Filing Information
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p501.pdf



So, you don't HAVE to file, but it's probably in your best interest to file. You'll need to talk to your mom about whether she has you listed as a dependant on her taxes. I've also heard good reports about asking the irs questions via email.

If nothing else, just read the first few pages of the Publication 501 linked to above.

I never learned to do taxes until I was out "on my own." And to think of all the things our gov't tries to get us to learn via it's "public service ads" :confused:

[LaLaLuna]

Dana- you ROCK, girl! :jammin :banana :bouncy :jammin :banana :bouncy

Thanks for posting those links, and ESPECIALLY for the free turbo tax tip!

[Dana]

Thanks LaLaLuna, it was my pleasure. The irs gave me the choice of about 5 different online tax prep places to use for free. I just picked TurboTax because I'd heard of it... The others are probably good too. I can't vouch for them personally though. I hope the info helps someone get some extra money from the gov. :D

[~member~]

Hello All!
I am having a rough time. Physics I is calc based and, of course, I am taking calc II and my brain is frying!!!!! My baby is more and more active every day and doesn't give me a solid five minutes to prepare a problem, etc. I really don't want to put her in daycare longer just so I can get homework done, but I don't know what else to do, you know? And she's teething!!!
And, I don't know WHY, but i picked up another four credits in a directed study. now I have a 15 page paper due!!! Oh yeah, I thought I could increase my financial aid. well, I meet with them tomorrow, so, hopefully, after kicking some b-u-t-t they'll let me have my grant back. Wish me luck!
Hope things are going well for you!:thumb

[Dana]

Good luck, MamaInTheBoonies. I can totally relate about how hard it is to think straight when your baby needs you. Hope you get your grant back!!! I wish I had some advice for you (and me.) Just think positive. You can do it!!!

[Unreal]

MamaInTheBoonies--I hope things go okay with financial aid today!! Grants are goooood things :) :)

Have you been lucky enough to meet any other student parents on campus? I was lucky, when ds was younger, in that I found an awesome ap mom with a daughter in the class at the campus day care. There were a few times, during finals and stuff, when we got together just to have the kiddos keep each other occupied or to have another adult around to let us get 5 consecutive minutes of work done (we were both doing the whole single parent thing....)

Having said that, I have to add that more often than not I played the martyr and made myself stay up until all hours to get work done, rather than have ds in day care any more than I *had* to. My friend was much more careful not to martyr herself--and had her daughter there for a few extra hours a week. And you know what? Both kids have turned out just fine. They are both kind, loving, intellegent kiddos....(and both us moms are still completely :wild :hammer :nut )

I guess, the moral of the story is that if you are living off the money from school, then make sure that you give yourself the time you need to succeed at it. And then spend lots of quality time with your babe :) :)

[~member~]

ljkelly - thank you! that was so funny about the moms lol! I needed to hear that. And, yes, I have met lots of other parents and single moms, but only one like me. we get together but end up just visiting, we are so lonely, kwim? and get no work done lol!
I did get a little more money, not much, but at least enough to pay my dd's tuition and the rest of the bills. So, that's cool. Now i just need to quit procrastinating on this computer and get my homework done lol!!!:D

[kerc]

Originally posted by MamaInTheBoonies
we get together but end up just visiting, we are so lonely, kwim? and get no work done lol!

Mama in the Boonies....i think that's ok -- let yourselves get together and visit. Darn it you deserve it! I had the problem when i was an undergrad (no kiddos, just three jobs to make ends meet) and I found that if I set a time limit- - ok we work for an hour and then visit for an hour-- I got a lot done.

[Unreal]

I totally agree :) :)
My productivity goes way up if I give myself a chance to 'meet my own needs' before I try to sit down and work (well it did before I got pregnant...right now it seems like my productivity goes from negative to maxing out at about zero :D)

Just look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs (love this guy....gives me even more excuses for procrastination...): we really aren't capable of meeting our being needs (intellectual or aesthetic growth, and eventually self actualization) until all our other needs (health, safety, emotional, and esteem) have been met. So it isn't my fault I can't concentrate on schoolwork when I'm feeling lonely.

Thank you Educational Psychology!! :D

See...college really *is* usefull!! You learn all sorts of useful stuff ;)

seriously though--if your other needs aren't being met, you aren't going to be able to focus on learning new things in school. It's true of kiddos and its true of adults.
So splurge on yourself every once in a while :)

[Unreal]

Well, it's official. The ol' brain didn't turn back on in time for my exams :(

Had my orals today (after submitting completely embarrassing writtens)....

My committee was indecisive, and after talking amongst themselves for an HOUR opted to pass the decision on to the director of the program. The very same inconsiderate *insert name of choice here* that wouldn't allow me to postpone my exams and was ready to boot me out of the program last semester. Keep in mind all my grades have been A's and A-'s and I have my language proficency done. It basically came down to my messed up priorities--you know...that I *gasp* put my family before academics. Needless to say I'm not real hopeful when it comes to HIM making a decision about my exams.

Tharg

I'm so frustrated and annoyed and angry and and and
I don't even know.

Did I mention that I'm really annoyed right now?

Thank goodness I have dh, ds, and the soon-to-be-here babe to keep me occupied.
I left the meeting telling my committee I wasn't suprised and nor did I blame them...and that I have better things to think about, namely the babe. Probably not the right thing to say to them, but it's true.

Bleh.

Lauren

[LaLaLuna]

Lauren :hug I'm so sorry! I hope your committee goes home and spends the rest of the year wondering if they did the right thing. :angry (sending guilt vibes their way!)

If this turkey director ends up trashing you due to the circumstances in your life is there any higher source to appeal to? (preferable sometime AFTER baby comes along...)

[Dana]

Lauren, I'm so sorry. I totally understand your frustration. This happens way too often. I hope they figure it out and do the right thing. I wish this sort of thing were higher up on the 'women's rights' agenda. We need to have some flexibility during pregnancy and motherhood to meet our needs and our children's needs... It really makes me mad how little consideration women get while they're doing the most important job there is.

Is there a women's rights group on your campus that might be able to help?

[Unreal]

I don't think there is much I can do through the university. I could complain to the provost (or whoever) and see what happened, but I have a feeling since this guy is the program director, they'll tell me they have to respect his decision.
That was the impression I got when I was looking into if he could really force me to take a leave of absence for the semester (I was told to take the L.O.A or leave the program until I was ready to put school first).

There is a group on campus for non-traditional students--I could try contacting them and see what they have to say, but overall there doesn't seem to be any effort here to protect students with families.
Which, I might add, I find almost hilarious, since this campus is so into all the 'isms'--feminism, marxism, humanism, yadda yadda yadda

Luckily, I live within an hour drive of at least a few other major universities. If the director opts to boot me from the program, I have other places I can go to.
I was really just hoping to get my MA before I had to look at anything like that. I'm not going to be able to any commutes like that with the new babe--not for a while anyways. But if I have my MA I can teach at a local community college for a while, until I'm ready to make the commute.

*sigh*
I hate waiting to find out what is going to happen.
My committe chair said she was going to push for a quick decision--since she agrees that it isn't fair to make me wait and deal with this when I should be thinking happy baby thoughts.

On that note, I'm off to go read more in the diapering forum--that's my latest addiction. :D
Who needs school when you can drool over diapers?

[Unreal]

Ohmygosh
I just got the most incredible email...from the one male member of my committee.
He basically said he was really upset over the decisions the rest of the committee made (he wasn't present for my oral exams), and is upset that I wasn't given any kind of support through the whole process.

I almost cried as hard over that as I did after the orals...just to know that *someone* in that stinkin' department also thinks the whole thing is a rotten mess.

I just had to tell someone...it really made my day :) :)

[LaLaLuna]

Forward that sucker to everyone else on your committee!

(ok- I know you probably don't want to make waves...but still!)

At least SOMEONE has a clue as to how the real world might occasionally infringe upon the academic world!

[kerc]

that is great news. perhaps you could kindly suggest to that committee member s/he should speak with the department chair.

i was kind of hoping to come to this thread and find that you had passed.

hope all is well with your pregnancy....

[Unreal]

well...he did mention in the email that he did contact the committee chair (which was so totally awesome of him :))...I'm kind of curious to know what actually happened in the hour they spent discussing my exams (as I paced the halls, knowing it was only supposed to take "a few minutes"!). On the other hand, since I'm probably going to have to work with these people again at some point, I'd almost rather not know who leaned what way.

Unfortunately, I don't think contacting the department chair would do much good...he tends to only hear what he wants to hear, and when it comes to me, seems to only hear the negative.

Luckily, it is an interdisiplinary department, which means I've met lots of people from other departments and could probably switch to one of them.

I'm just wondering why it is that everyone else seems to be making it through all the departmental crap and I'm being completely bogged down by it. Can the chair really just be that much of a creep to want to "show me" how detrimental it is to try to put family before school?? I mean, how juvenile is that??

Oh well. Time to go deal with real world stuff (dogs, cats, kids..all those mess makers :D)

:)

[Dana]

Just wanted to see how everybody's doing. ljkelly, have you heard anything yet?

Also, I would really appreciate any advice you all might have for me on a thread i started here:
http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=41576

I'm having a really hard time deciding how much school means to me.

Thanks,
Dana

[LaLaLuna]

Dana- I accidently clicked out of the pther page and dont' have time to wait for it to reload so I hope you don't mind if I reply here... there was so much good sensible advice on the other thread.

I totally know what you mean by trying to raise a high needs child who won;t sleep- my first was like that. I don't have anything to offer about completing a Phd (I'm just trying to hang in there with an AS!) but one thing I'm curious about; are you guys still nursing at night? If you are, you might consider night-weaning. At 21 months he should be able to sleep through the night; as long as he's not expecting a nice bit of booby to lull him back to sleep he may start sleeping better. I know with both my ds's it was the night-weaning that finally turned things around and let them start sleeping better (and us!). Funny thing is, with ds1 who was SUCH a high need child (and still is) the night weaning only took about a week and he accepted it pretty readily. Ds2, who is not so high needs still wakes up periodically and pitches a fit when I don't just whip it out for him :rolleyes:

Anyway; I'm babbling; just trying to think of ways to make it easier to hang in there with where you are until you can move and get the support you need. Good luck.

[Unreal]

well...either things have gotten a lot better or they've gotten a lot worse. I guess it depends on how you look at it (and my mood that day).

The dip**** department chair kicked me out of the department (and obviously won't let me retake the exams).
The nice thing is that both my committee chair and the guy who wrote the really cool email supporting me are totally supportive of me going to another department (where I will never have to deal with said dip**** again). I know I can get recommendations from both of them, and I'm sure a few other professors that I've worked with.

So.....I'm not sure what is going on right now. I just want to sit back and relax and focus on convincing this babe that he needs to be born. Next Thurs I hit 37 weeks....and I am SO ready for this guy to come out and say hi to the world.

I'm looking at the other departments here and the other schools in the area. The problem is that this is a state school so it's nice and cheap. The other stuff around is WAY more expensive :(
But where there is a will, there is a way!

And, my wonderful dad said he would pay my student loans if they come up for repayment before I'm back in school (as in I can take my time making a decision and relaxing with the babe). That was so nice to hear.

I'm still upset over the whole thing...and I'm trying to find out what my options are as far as filing a complaint against the department. But in the end, it's not the end of the world, right?
(Keep in mind I spent about 4 hours crying my eyes out Tuesday night...so I am feeling much calmer now!)

Lauren

[BreJean]

Hi all! I am so tired of school! Yuck! Anyhow, here is my question. Last year we qualified for grants because we had DD. So, in the past we were able to take education credits on our taxes because we never got grants. Our grants this year were enough to cover tuition each term. Then we also got some sub-ed loans, unsub-ed loans, and scholarships. Can we take any credits? I am thinking no because our grants covered our tuition (and some of our books). But, grant money can also cover living expenses, food, that sort of stuff (like if were living on campus). So, it seems to me that we could also look at it like, we used our loans to pay our tuition and our grants to cover room/board. LOL The government probably doesn't see it this way, but I was just wondering if anyone has an ideas on this before I just give up.

Emily

[mama2girls]

Originally posted by ljkelly
(Keep in mind I spent about 4 hours crying my eyes out Tuesday night...so I am feeling much calmer now!)

Lauren

Oh, Lauren. That really stinks. :crying WTF was that guy thinking? :cuss I absolutely detest profs that think school is the end all be all in their worlds. I know it doesn' t help, but I had one of those after A was born and I'm sure that her pressure to get back "on the job" the first working day after we were home from the hospital contributed to my ppd. ARGH, and that was an unmarried female.

Honey, your family is THE most important thing in your life--they will be with you forever. Your education is important to supporting them, yes, but you can get a job anywhere these days (just not the one you want). Hang in there :hug

[kerc]

Originally posted by AM Mom
I know it doesn' t help, but I had one of those after A was born and I'm sure that her pressure to get back "on the job" the first working day after we were home from the hospital contributed to my ppd. ARGH, and that was an unmarried female.


my advisor is an unmarried female....i think they can be worse because they so desperately WANT to be married, with kids. (Especially my advisor).

Hugs for all the crap you're going through Lauren. Hopefully you will find a better place for you! and you'll have time to focus on your baby.

with regards to the question about grants....i don't know, but i'm guessing you can only take the credits on things you pay to the school (as opposed to rent, groceries, etc). And they'll assume you applied the grants to school.

my week has been crummy. i'm in a mode where i get nothing done when i am not with dd, and then i feel guilty for not using that time wisely. sunday i'm taking a break -- just fun stuff all day. maybe that will help.

[Unreal]

You know, it is so great being able to come here and vent and know that you will all understand how frustrated and angry I am :)
Everyone around here just keeps telling me how much better off I am to be out of the program. And sure--that is true--but I wanted it to be on MY terms. I wanted to finish my MA and be able to take my time looking at the other PhD programs. And I sure didn't want this negative thing following me around!!
And of course, the frustration of being treated like the past 18 months were a complete waste of time and not worth any recognition at all. *growl*

Lol...sorry...I didn't mean that to turn into a vent :)

As for the grants, if they were higher than your qualifying tuition and fees, you are out of luck :( Did you get any printout from the school? They usually send something that tells you what tution and fees you paid and the amount of grants and scholarships you received. They don't have to send those out though.
You should be able to call the financial aid office or the bursar to find out what you were charged and how it was paid. Not as nice and simple as the print out, but it would work.
HTH

Lauren :)

[BreJean]

Thanks Lauren, that is what I thought about the grants. When I was attending Portland State they always filled out the forms, but here at Boise State they just send a blank form for you to fill out. How dumb is that?

Thanks for your imput.... btw: you can always defer out your student loans if they come up before you are back in school.

:) Emily

[Dana]

I wanted to say thanks for all the responses I got for my trauma. And Lauren, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. Please vent here whenever you need to. Try to think of all the things you've accomplished over the last 18 months. Just because you're not getting the credit you deserve from school, you still did alot and I'm sure it will all help you in the future. (I say this as I contemplate 'wasting' 7+years...) I think that, even though we are students, we are people first. We have our lives and being a student is just part of that. It took me a long time to value myself away from whatever my latest grade was. Now, as a parent, too, it's alot easier to remember what's important... and, well, who has time to philosophize about that anyway. Oh, and to think positively for a moment, how's that baby? 'Bout ready to be born?

As far as the taxes on grants etc. I don't know. I did post a link to Publication 970 somewhere up this thread a page or so and it has all the info for students.

update on me: I've decided to stop working on my phd till I can reduce my stress level and figure how to get dd to sleep more. We're also making preparations to move near dh's parents asap. I'm going to try to convince my advisor to keep working with me long distance because it would be sad to not get a phd after all of this, but if he won't agree, i'll move anyway and see what happens. I'll let dh work and i'll be a sahm for a while and get sane :)

LaLaLuna, yes dd still nurses, and I've been working on nightweaning for several months. But, sometimes when she wakes up I can just tell that something more is going on and I can't help but do whatever I can to help her. When she wakes up just to nurse and is feeling okay otherwise, I can usually get her to go back to sleep or just nurse for a minute.

[mama2girls]

Originally posted by BreJean
Hi all! I am so tired of school! Yuck! Anyhow, here is my question. Last year we qualified for grants because we had DD. So, in the past we were able to take education credits on our taxes because we never got grants. Our grants this year were enough to cover tuition each term. Then we also got some sub-ed loans, unsub-ed loans, and scholarships. Can we take any credits? I am thinking no because our grants covered our tuition (and some of our books). But, grant money can also cover living expenses, food, that sort of stuff (like if were living on campus). So, it seems to me that we could also look at it like, we used our loans to pay our tuition and our grants to cover room/board. LOL The government probably doesn't see it this way, but I was just wondering if anyone has an ideas on this before I just give up.

Emily

I asked dh and his repsonse is:

I beleive it only covers tuitions and books and if the grants went specifically to pay for that, then I believe you could not take the credit. It hinges upon what the 1098-T form (??) that you receive from the school states.

[LaLaLuna]

Originally posted by Dana

update on me: I've decided to stop working on my phd till I can reduce my stress level and figure how to get dd to sleep more. We're also making preparations to move near dh's parents asap. I'm going to try to convince my advisor to keep working with me long distance because it would be sad to not get a phd after all of this, but if he won't agree, i'll move anyway and see what happens. I'll let dh work and i'll be a sahm for a while and get sane :)

LaLaLuna, yes dd still nurses, and I've been working on nightweaning for several months. But, sometimes when she wakes up I can just tell that something more is going on and I can't help but do whatever I can to help her. When she wakes up just to nurse and is feeling okay otherwise, I can usually get her to go back to sleep or just nurse for a minute.

Dana; I'm glad you're taking a step that reduces the stress for you. That's gotta feel great right there, no matter what follows!

And yep- nightweaning is great- and then there are all the exceptions:wink .
My three year old still nurses at night when he's sick or when stress has been high in our family or on other occasions when he needs a little extra. And even on nights he doesn't nurse he still wakes up at least twice. :( At least it's better than the 5 or 6 times he would wake up to nurse!

(OT; last night he slept for the first time in his own bed.:banana Of course I was there for five of those hours, but still...:bouncy )

[LiminalOne]

Hi there,

I'm new to this group, but finally searched for student parents when I read Dana's message in TAO.

I thought I'd introduce myself as I'd love to have a group of other mamas who are trying to find this school-life-family balance.

I'm just starting back to working on a Ph.D. in geography and have a 20 month old ds, Finn. I formally took 15 months off after he was born, but in reality didn't get much done during pregnancy and this Fall as well. I've finished course work and have taken my exams, so I'm lucky that I get to work on my own, just heading towards the dissertation. We live in Maine and my school is 2 1/4 hours away in Mass, so we never go there (maybe once a semester). My advisor's on leave in Sweden anyways so there's not that much of a reason to visit, but it doesn't do much for my productivity. My goal this semester is to finally finish my dissertation proposal and to get some funding, but I'm having trouble getting my committee to respond to my emails--out of sight, out of mind.

Lauren, sorry to hear about your experience with exams. They are pretty horrible anyways and I can't imagine facing them emotionally and intellectually when I was pregnant as I was focused on something different. Good luck with all the new opportunities that this door closing brings.

Hello to all the other mamas (and papas)

Angie

[mama2girls]

Where have all the student parents gone?!?!

Hey guys, it's almost spring break. You can breathe now!:D Or sleep... :zzz

[oncewerewise]

Forget about a break!!! I'm nearing end of term -- crunch time!!!


And, let me introduce myself:

31 yr. old student (finishing B.A.) and mother of a 4 y.o. and 18 m.o. and blissfully (minus the lack of intimacy) single!

Resident of Ontario, Canada.


Peace.

[kerc]

unfortunately i am at the point in my graduate school career where spring break is nonexistent....i have no classes and if i take a week off of reserach, well that's one more week added on the end.

things have been crazy for me -- we were looking for and found a new day care!! yippee -- half as much, smaller number of kids and 3 blocks from my home!

also....the doctor last week suggested that erin is low in weight (born at 8lbs 3 ounces, 4 months she was 10 lbs 8 ounces). so maybe i have a low supply? I went to a lactation consultant and after a period of questioning and chatting we determined that i do indeed have a low supply. she put me on reglan, which appears to be helping, but not so much with pumping. so.....do we supplement with formula at daycare? meaning i'd pump as much as i can and leave a bottle of 6 ounces of milk + 2 ounces of formula?

[Dana]

Sorry to hear that Kristin. You should, if you haven't already ask that question over in the bf-ing forum. Maybe DaryLLL or one of the other great lactivists will have some good ideas foryou. Only thing I can think of is to drink some mother's milk tea, drink tons of water and to rest as much as possible. (I know the last one probably isn't possible :))

As far as the lack of thread activity. For me it's because we are packing up!!! We're moving to Stillwater, Oklahoma to be near family. And I even got my advisor's support. We're all worried that I won't be able to finish from up there, but it's really my only option. Other good news is that dh is sleeping with dd sometimes now, so I'm slowing overcoming 2 years worth of sleep deprivation. I feel more hopeful than I have in a long time.

Spring break doesn't mean much for me either since I no longer attend classes, and my advisor thinks we should do as much as possible before I leave. But, the South by Southwest music festival is this week. (I live in Austin, TX right now and will miss it very much.) The whole city is alive with excitement and we'll get to see some out of town friends.

I would like to ask all the long distance phd student mama's how they motivate themselves to work and find the time.

[LiminalOne]

Dana

I qualify as a long distance PhD mama, but probably don't qualify to give advice on motivation (ha!). I have to set up regular times to work in order to get anything done. I actually don't miss the competitive atmosphere of campus, but do miss the few supportive folks that I knew there (most of which are almost finished :crying ). I've thought about trying to hook up with other PhD students in exile where we live just for support and to have someone be asking me how much work I'm getting done, but haven't done it. I guess that the most critical challenge is finding that internal motivation. Hopefully since you're close to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (if I remember correctly), just having this monkey off your back will be motivation enough.

kerc - i'm scared silly of supplementation though I know it works great for a lot of Mamas/babes. I'm always amazed at how nursing has such tight feedback, less suckling --> less milk. when i went through a short period of low supply, i tried fenugreek seeds and lots of skin-to-skin contact, but ds was littler then and would lie on my chest all day. best of luck to you...

Angie

[mamaley]

I am losing it. Can I talk? I really need to talk to people who are moms and in school too.
I am an undergrad (have been for the past 6 years) and have 6 classes plus a semester long practicum to go. Right now I am taking for classes (12 hours) and I have a 2 year old, I'm pregnant and a very messy home. And I am tired. So tired. I feel guilty for not making straight A's. I might make a B in an "easy" math class. But, dammit, I've got a lot going on!
I just feel so overwhelmed that I am crying, and I rarely get like this. I don't know how I'm going to complete this semeter. I don't have the energy to do anything.
I want my degree. I really do, and I want to do well. But I want to be a mama, and enjoy my pregnancy, and rest. I can't wait to go back to taking it slowly, like 1-2 classes per semester.
Just needed to vent, thank you.

[kerc]

(((mamaley)))

of course you can vent here -- isn't that what its for?


let the house go....find the bare minimum that you need to do to be able to "live" in it -- for me that comes down to about 15 or so minutes total per day.

and for what it is worth -- a "b" is a good grade. If you have this much going on and can still manage to earn a B kudos to you! I have students in my office ALL the time gripping because they can't manage to get a C in my intro to geology class (rocks for jocks).

if you were close to me I'd offer an hour or two of babysitting....

[LiminalOne]

Hey there Mamaley

I just wanted to second (or third) that I was blown away about all that you're doing right now. Way to go, mama! The semester's more than half over, right?, and just think of how much closer you'll be when it's over. And don't worry too much about the grades. They're not as important as your mental health, IMNSHO.

Close your eyes to the house and maybe you can study a bit in the bath while you think rosy thoughts about the babe in the belly. Good luck with it all.

Cheers
Angie

supremo slow studentka

[mamaley]

Thanks for the encouragement. :) I'm feeling emotionally better (but I'm sick, so not physically!) and I'm going easy on myself. I'll still try hard but I'm not going to put so much pressure on myself to do everything. The day I wrote that I found out that I made the honors list, and it turns out that feeling sane feels much better than being on some list!

Dana, I grew up in Stillwater, and am now living in Austin! How funny! Hope you like it there.

[LaLaLuna]

Hey Mamaley- the sun shines occaisionally, eh? :D

I had one class I was sure I'd flunk the final in- I ended up getting 100% on it and ended up with straight A's this term. Amazing.

This was the term I gave up on- I have to maintain a C average to pass this program and decided, finally, a C was good enough and stopped stressing so much. Did me good!

[mamaley]

Yay, I'm venting again. :rolleyes:
I went to talk to my advisor today, and she is awesome, but it turns out that I have 2 more classes than I thought. Which is ok. But what is really bothering me is that I am having a baby this Fall and I can't figure out how to balance school and baby. And he/she isn't even here yet! This is my second child--with my first, dh was a student and our schedules were flexible...life was easy. Now, it's totally different. I really want to stay home with this baby for the first year, but that's 3 semesters off! So I thought about doing 2 classes at a time, but it still seems like a lot--it's my upper-div classes and from what I hear they're a lot of work. Not to mention that the scheduling is crazy--one class in the morning, it's lab in the afternoon, etc.
Do I do a little each semester? Do I take 2 semesters off and then take 3 classes each semester for 3 semesters, and then be done? How do I handle it all? I'm taking 4 classes right now with an almost 3 year old and am already overwhelmed. What in hell am I doing????????

[Unreal]

My vote, as I sit here trying to nurse my over-tired, gassy, near-bellowing one month old, is that you plan to take at least the one or two semesters off to stay home with the babe. If you change your mind you can always register at the last minute.
I know there are mamas that can handle school and a newborn, but I'm sure not one of them....but I had planned on staying in school this semester and in the fall...I'm awfully glad I ended up taking this semester off.
I am planning on going back PT in the fall though...hopefully it won't be too bad.

hehe...that is assuming of course that I transfer my rear-end into another department without too many problems *sigh*

[kerc]

i second taking off a semester or two. I didn't (dd was born 1/2way through) and I'm STILL working on my incomplete. I'm almost done though, five months later....

[mamaley]

Hi, just popping in to say thanks. :)

[LaLaLuna]

I've been surviving on a grant that pays my tuition- it just got cut.

Way I'm feeling right now, I better never get a republican as a patient. :angry

[Unreal]

LaLaLuna
Could they have waited any longer to tell you???!!!! :angry
How ANNOYING! I'm sure you totally feel like scrambling around to find stuff to apply for this late in the spring. ARGHHHH


Will the school adjust your financial aid package since you won't have the grant? Maybe you will qualify for something else now?

I'll be thinking happy financial aid thoughts for you

Lauren

[LaLaLuna]

Hey, this poor thread is languishing! Is everyone off this summer? No such luck for me; between class and clinicals I'm out of the house nearly 40 hours a week.:scared If my poor kids can get through this year though, it will all be good next spring.

ANyhow- I popped in to say that using the Powell's link through MDC to buy textbooks is AWESOME! I've had great luck finding what I need there (Including really obscure mechanical ventilation stuff) and if you buy more than 50 bucks worth of books the shipping is free. And the prices are ALWAYS at least 30% lower than my school bookstore. Figured all you penny-pinching starving students would want to hear that. :D And it helps out MDC; how much better can it get? (well- if they'd send someone along to mop my floors, it would be nice...)

[kerc]

i'm here...slaving away at my research, which is going ok.

I wish i were doing something that someone else was organizing -- courses, internship, whatever.

Thanks for the idea of powells for texts. Good idea.

DD is still in an in-home daycare. We love it. the lady is so great and so willing to work around whatever little thing we need. I'm a little peeved she's changing her rate for us (we just found out yesterday she is going to be eliminating hourly rates and we have to pay 1/2 of full time). I used to pay her more than she was supposed to get (I.e. i owed her 50 bucks and I paid 55). My thinking always was, that way we are set for when we are 15 minutes late and I like to keep the people who work with my kid happy. But now we are going up by about 20 percent, so that's out of my budget, she'll get only the amount I owe.

enough rambling, how are your summers?

[Dana]

Hey everybody, I haven't been on here in a while, but wanted to share some good news! First, the move to Stillwater was a success. Raina loves hanging out with her grandparents and their dogs :) She's talking alot and every once in a while she doesn't throw a tantrum when I expect her to.

I was fully prepared to just blow off finishing my phd when I heard that a very cool magnet high school about an hour away was hiring. I emailed my cv and got the job! I'll get to teach undergrad level classes to really bright high school students. The best part is that they want me to finish my phd and so I now have some motivation and time. The very very bad part is that it's an hour away and requires 40 hours a week for 10 months. Hopefully, I can work it so it's just 4 days a week... My dh will stay home with Raina and she'll still get to play with the grandparents whenever she wants. Hopefully, she'll still manage to take a nap. Here she is 26 months old and still has to be nursed to sleep. Any ideas for easing the transition? I start August 4 and am going down to Austin next week to meet with my advisor for a few days (with whole family in tow.)

Well, that's about all that's going on here. My other big worry is trying to figure out how to dress "professionally" after 8 years of grad school :)

Dana

[kerc]

that's great!!! don't worry too much about the dress -- i think charter schools are laid back. getting to sleep....honestly I think that kids figure it out -- when you're there regularly, they nurse to sleep. when you're not they manage to find some way. I think that kids, ok especially my kid, need a few days to work things out -- maybe dad cuddles to sleep. maybe dad gives a special story or a lovey that mom doesn't use. Or maybe a desperate dad (my dh) takes dd for a 10 mile jog in the stroller so she will nap and he can get some down-time.

also great about the school wanting you to finish the degree.


you're not in stillwater near minneapolis are you?

[Dana]

No, I'm in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Right in the middle of the state.

I have a feeling that dh will be using the car to get dd to go to sleep. She's so afraid that she'll miss something if she falls asleep.

[LaLaLuna]

Dana- that's great about the job offer! I think dd will be ok- she has the solid support of dad and doting grandparents. My kids (well the one that actually naps) sleep better for other people than they do for me. GO figure. I don't know about weaning ideas- I'm still nursing Orion and he's nearly 3 1/2. i do tell him when I'm too tired or too grouchy to nurse and he's sometimes accepting of the idea that mom's needs get first choice (once in a blue moon). :LOL At the moment dh and I switch off between kids at bedtime so I only nurse him every other night- he's ok with that which leads me to believe that if I leaned a little harder he might be willing to wean entirely over my break at end of summer. Maybe you could try that; trade nights with dh and see how she handles it.

Kerc- I know what you mean about childcare payment frustration. The woman we went to last year raised her rates every single month on us. (maybe she was trying to get rid of us...hm.) We stopped using her for other reasons and then found the perfect match; cheaper, hourly, flexible and near ds1's school to boot. I'm glad you really like yours otherwise- maybe she'd be willing to "grandfather" you guys in with your old rate since you'd been using her prior to the rate change? Might be worth asking...

My summer is kind of crazed; ds1 was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome and sensory integration disorder shortly before the school year ended so I've been doubling up on my reading; trying to get up to speed with that as well as stay on top of reading for school (much of which is physics and algebra right now; not exactly enthralling). It's also causing me to really rethink my parenting of him; I think we've mostly done a good job considering, but there are things I need to change my thinking around and just getting the quiet time to THINK about it all is hard!
On the plus side, I'm doing really cool stuff in clinicals and I think i'll get to start poking people with needles next term. Oh boy!

(sorry for running off at the keyboard there...)

[kerc]

it began yesterday for us.

all is well here in phd land. I'm making some progress toward the end product, my daycare is working well and my husband is being very supportive.

how are the new school years treating you all?

[Dragonfly]

Hey! I'm new to this thread... just started my second year of law school on Tuesday. I'm exhausted already! It's as if any reserves I may have stored up during the summer (not much, of course, between mothering and working full-time) were depleted after the first night! Ds (almost three years old) is not adapting well to yet another shift in his schedule (poor kid), so the three days we've had together have been hellish and the nights have been long and not at all productive. Hard to get anything done with a toddler sleeping on your chest.

But, other than that, everything's great! :LOL (Gotta laugh through the pain, right?).

Hope everyone's getting a good start!

[TalkToMeNow]

Hi, everyone. I'm new to this thread and glad to have found it. I have a question for anyone who has or is pursuing grad school/ phd: Is it possible to be around "enough" for your kids and go to school full time and be a gra/gta, etc? I'm finishing up my BA at night right now, and my daughter is 15 months. It'll be a while before I actually start grad school (I want to get my phd) but I'm trying to figure out my options here and I don't know anyone who has done this. Just how much of your day to day time does grad school take? Any help would be greatly appreciated... I need to know if I just need to give up on my dream of going to a "prestigious" university and paying for it with money from being a gta, and except that I'll be going part-time to the nearby state school on loan money. Whew! I'm done. Thanks in advance for any help!!