namecalling?

[chrissy]

how do you handle it when your child calls others names?

my son, (almost 4), is obsessed with all things potty. he thinks potty words are hysterical.

what is your response when your kiddo calls you (or someone else) "poopyhead" or other names?
:nut

[freedom]

:lurk:

Waiting too for some advice. My ds - almost 4 - calls names some times as a silly thing. I usually offer some funny suggestions that may be more acceptable to others like instead of "stupid" how about goosey - then he makes up funny sounding words.

The difficulty is when he is upset (hurt feelings) with me or a friend and he calls us stupid (prior to learning this word he used to make up words he thought were powerful like gut and butler :LOL ) All i have really done is explain how it may make another feel and offer alternatives like saying what he is upset about. Truthfully I don't know what else - but I appreciate the discussion.

[Sugar Magnolia]

My ds is 4 and uses "potty talk" all the time, including name calling. I have no advice, just here for support. I was told it is VERY normal for boys this age. I try to ignore it for the most part because ds thinks it is funny.

[mommyoftwo]

We are right there with you. My four year old dd loves all things potty-poopy head is a fav. The potty humor doesn't bother me that much. What is most upsetting is stupid. I'm afraid that she picked it up from Bug's life. Now her 2 year old ds has picked up on it too.

If something is stupid, we try suggesting a different word. When she calls someone a name, we explain to her people's feelings getting hurt. It isn't working yet but we'll just keep on driving the message home.

[levar]

I put on my "Momma-Frown" and say in a low "deadly-serious" voice. "No name calling." I do this with my son. I do this with my hubby. I do this with other kids. And other adults [within reason] too.

If the kids aren't old enough to know what name calling is, or if they are curious about the words themselves, I straight forwardly say "Do YOU like to be called ... ?" Because I am not using a light-heartedly-funny voice, they of course dont. Then I say something along the lines of "Do Unto Others As You'd Have Done To You..."

If its the word they curious about, I explain it. For example, poopy-head is someone who's head is filled with excrement. Is YOUR head filled with excrement? Is theirs? No? I thought not.

Because I am not laughing or enjoying myself, kids dont either. And nowadays the "Momma-Frown" is all that is needed for my son, or even his playmates in most cases. [And from across the room he gives me "the look" too!] :LOL

PS. When my son name-calls an adult, or a child name-calls me, I tend to add a quiet discussion [at what ever level neccesary] about RESPECT too. For example my best friend's 4 yr old was "trying out" some name calling on ME!? So I just quietly told him not to call names and to not speak to me disrepectfully, etc. He did it one more time a week later and I said "Are you being disrespectful to me on purpose?" And he said "No. Sorry." And we move on to playing games.

[LoveBeads]

Must be a 4-year old thing. In fact, I'm sure it is.

I cheerfully tell DD to go to the bathroom if she wants to use potty words. She will happily stand in there for a few minutes screaming "VAGINA! POOPY! TOILET!". Then when she gets it out of her system, she comes back out.

[Marsupialmom]

It is definantly a four year old thing.

I tell/told them that is a hurtful word don't say it again because we don't say hurtful things. I made sure that they knew the word they were saying was hurtful then tell them to leave the room if they are going to be hurtful.

When my first child was four I asked him how he would feel if someone called him pee pee head (that was his word) he said "silly." He was completely dumpfounded by the question because his four year old mind does not work like an adult mind. Since he thought it was funny he thought everyone else should see the humor in it. Know at 6 or 7 I found asking that question more effective, just not at 4 year olds have the mental ability to empathize that well.