GD books for 1 year old?

[sassyaztec]

I checked out the sticky, GREAT resource, but the books I have checked out seemed to be for older kids. Can anyone suggest some good books for my 17 mo. old? I am becoming a "yeller" and it's driving me crazy. Need some GD tips and ideas. TIA!

[DevaMajka]

I highly recommend Becoming the Parent You Want To Be by Laura Davis. Ages up to 5. The discipline section is great! Really good specific suggestions and insight into the minds of toddlers. I got it from the library, and loved it so much I bought it.
Also good is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. I loved it. Not really specific suggestions though.

I'd write more, but I'm nak :)
hth

[The4OfUs]

Honestly, what helped me? Realizing that at this stage in his life (12 months until he's, well, probably school age), my DS's job is to explore his world and get into EVERYTHING, and that his ability to control his impulses is near ZERO. :LOL

Seriously, though, I was finding myself getting a wee bit aggravated when I was having to repeatedly request him to stop doing x (dangerous), or please come here to change his diaper, etc. etc. etc., so I started 'hardballing' it, requesting something once, and then facilitating with him after the first request. That way,

1) I am not saying something 5 or 6 (or 2.5 billion) times, getting more aggravated every time and then yelling, and

2) He is learning that when I ask him to do (or not do) something, he doesn't get to do it x number of more times before he actually has to follow through.

Yes, it requires me to be "on" a lot more at this point, but it is already paying off, and by nipping things that matter to me in the bud, I do not get anywhere near aggravated enough to raise my voice. "Helping" them after the first time you say something, you're going to still be calm, as opposed to waiting until you're all riled up. I have read people on previous threads mention "going to your Zen place", and that technique has really helped me.

Also, lurking and posting on this forum has helped me keep things in perspective about what is realistic and what is unrealistic to expect, and has helped me determine things that really "matter" (safety issues), versus things I expected because it was what was "supposed" to be normal....and I've let go a LOT of my preconceived notions...which has made for a more peaceful household.

I also had to let go of feelings that DS was *doing* things *to* me, and realized that that is ridiculous, he is incapable at this age of masterminding ways to *make* me upset, and that the frustration was all mine due to my midset.

Just reframing these simple things has helped enormously, I can't even begin to say how much more relaxed I am than I was several months ago, and how much more of a joy it is to parent my son.

I hope some of this helps. I recently posted requesting some age appropriate behavior resources, as I think (and I think many here will agree) that that is probably the most important thing, to realize what your child is capable and incapable of developmentally, and then go from there.