Is it possible...

[Llyra]

... to teach a barely-one-year-old to leave my body alone sometimes? She tugs on my nose, grabs my eyebrows, whacks me in the face, bites my shoulder, and picks my cuticles, and it's making me crazy. Today she even got her hand in my mouth and started scratching at my gumline, and I couldn't help it-- it hurt, and I shouted and put her down on the floor pretty abruptly. I know I didn't hurt her, but I scared the heck out of her and I feel bad now :bag: but it was really spontaneous. When I pull her hand away and tell her no, or "that hurts mama", she laughs like a loon and does it again because she perceives it as a game. I know that she's just curious, and is WAY too young to understand personal boundaries, but I need some space. Help!!!

I guess this is more of a vent than an appeal for help, really. I know the real solution is just to keep being consistent and patient and wait for her to grow more, but right now my patience is thin.

[abac]

Other than biting my shoulder and picking my cuticles, my ds does all of the things you mentioned, usually while nursing. And I couldn't agree more that scratching at your gums is PAINFUL. (This is one of ds's favorite things to do with my body.) Since he usually does these things while nursing, I take his hand and pretend to eat it. I actually growl and bite his fingers (gently, of course!) He thinks it is hilarious and will pull his hand away, giggle and reach for my mouth again. Repeat. Over and over. This helps with nipple twiddling, too.
I would never dream of telling him to stop picking at me. He would continue anyway and if I forcibly stopped him, he'd get upset. Making him laugh and distracting him is so much easier. He just wouldn't understand that things hurt/bother me, so I don't bother yet. He'll get it when he's older. (He's 16 mo.)

[Ruthla]

It's perfectly appropriate to shout "ouch" when you get hurt, and to put the baby down every time she hurts you. It's also appropriate to tell her "be gentle" or "be nice to Mommy" or "ouch! That hurts Mommy. Do this instead"(while moving her hand in a more pleasant way.)

Just keep your expectations realistic- you may have to do this 100,000 times over the next year before it sinks in- and by then, you can't ever really be sure if it was all the repetitions or just the baby getting more mature and able to handle some limits better.

[JamesMama]

One tip I got is to 100% ignore it (hard I know) that way they don't get a reaction from you and it stops being fun.

[brewgirl]

When my dd started doing this we would tell say "Ouch! That hurts. Gentle touches please" and then take her hand and show her how to give gentle touches. I think I've said the phrase "gentle touches please" at least a thousand times in the last year. :) Now she will stop herself (unless she's too hyper) and say gentle touches and make the change from hurting to loving. It has taken a lot of redirection and repetition though.

I found that when I was getting really frustrated, it was best for me to physically remove myself a few feet and try to re-engage in a different activiity.

Hang in there!

[levar]

Kids are not like dogs, I know. ;) But, non-verbal communication works for animals, humans, everyone. So, we tried "yipping" and turning a ("cold") shoulder when Taylor hurt us. We also did as quick as possible an intervention, "no...", distraction, etc when he was hurting someone else. Seems to have worked well in the long run. -- Years I mean! :)