Sneaking a treat- what should I say to her?

[Lula's Mom]

My dd just turned 4. A few minutes ago, apparently she snuck a piece of chocolate from the fridge and took it to her playroom. She's never done anything like this before. I am pretty free with the treats, and usually will say yes when she asks for one, unless she needs to have breakfast, lunch or dinner first. She has a major sweet tooth and I need to make sure she eats healthy meals before she has a treat; left to her own devices, I truly think she would eat only junk. She probably thought I would say no this time, because she had just had a bunch of chocolate teddy grahams.

Anyway, DP went to her playroom, and she hid the chocoate behind her back. She asked him "Are you going to go back upstairs yet?" :LOL Suspicious DP asked what she was hiding, at which point she burst into tears. She showed him and said she was sorry.

He told her "You know you shouldn't have done that. That's why you're crying." He let her have it because it was almost gone anyway.

She's still in her playroom, so I haven't talked with her about it yet. Should I? Should I just leave it as it is? She is typically a very honest child, and I have always told her that it's important to me that she tell the truth. DP is probably right that she cried because her conscience was hurt, as much as because she thought he would be angry.

I'm leaning toward just reminding her gently that she needs to make sure it's OK before she gets something from the refrigerator. WWYD?

[**guest**]

i agree -- reminding gently.

[maya44]

I agree. A gentle reminder is all that is necessary.

[Satori]

I would have talked to her about it as well, but I would not have allowed her to finish eating it. To me that was telling her it was ok to take it.

[PuppyFluffer]

I would had a conversation sort of like this:
I would have explained that while chocolate tastes yummy, it's not good for her body to eat too much of it. I would have asked her if she remembered the teddy grahams she had recently eaten and explained that that was a lot of chocloate for her body and suggested that more might make her feel a little sick. I would have asked her to ask for help the next time she wanted an additional treat and tell her that I would help her decide if it's going to be good for her body or not.

Then, while she was occupied with something else, I would put the chocolate up out of her sight and reach. Or, I would have just left only a little bit of it where she could reach it and when that was gone, I'd probably not get more.

I would make this about teaching her what is good for her body and what makes her feel healthy and letting her know I would help her make those decisions. That way you partner and you empower her to participate in her own physical feelings through good diet choices .....and if you remove the chocolate you also remove the temptation.

[quakerlady]

Just felt like sharing how my mother (in many other ways very AP) handled a similar situation when I was slightly older:
SHE spanked me for taking the candy
and forced me to ASK my father to spank me for lying when she asked what I had behind my back.
Lovely, eh?

[4evermom]

I would consider relocating tempting treats, as well. I think it is a bit much to expect a 4 y.o. to not take and eat something tasty that is within reach. :)

[MtBikeLover]

I'm pretty lenient when it comes to treats/snacks. I keep plenty of snacks available within reach both in the fridge (fruit, veggies, cheese, ham) and in the cabinet (pretzels, crackers, scooby snacks-not the healthiest of snacks but he loves them). If it is something that I don't want DS to eat, I put it up high and hide it so that it doesn't tempt him. We don't make him ask when he wants something...he just goes and gets it. We trust him to decide when he is hungry or not. He is only 2.5, but it works for him. And he still eats dinner just about every night.

[sparklemom]

Remind gently, and get that stuff (or anything you don't want your child to eat freely) out of the house asap. Making an issue out of any kind of food should be avoided at all costs.

[TraumeInDigitalem]

Honestly, I would thank her for her honesty and, I agree with a few previous posters, gently remind her to ask next time.