slacking on discipline b/c there are other children to care for

[hotmom]

do you ever feel like you are not catching those teachable moments b/c you are busy with the other children?

I fear that my youngest son has not had the benefit of being taught because I am so distracted with his sister that is Developmentaly delayed. I have 3 children btw.
for example : we were at the beach park and my son was throwing sand repeatedly although I was telling hom not to do it. He then threw the sand at a small baby. I wanted to take him and sit him elsewhere with me where he could not play with the sand because he had not followed directions regarding the sand. BUT my daughter that bolts and will run into the deep area, was playing so happily at the shore. I could not leave her unattended and I did not want to pull her away.
So basicly my words meant nothing to the 2 year old. He refuses to not throw sand on people and I am allowing him to still play with it??
that type of scenario happens all the time. When my oldest dd would throw a fit in the store we would leave, when my youngest does that I have to stay to get the things I am buying for his siblings. It's as if his teaching is repressed by my parental duties to the other kids! ?
thoughts or ideas.

[rowantree]

All I can add is that I feel the same way. I let things go with my 2nd that I never would have with the first because of outside circumstance. im looking foward to reading the responses.

[quaz]

So there... although with me, I had the opposite problem. I felt I wasn't able to work with my oldest after #2 arrives. #2 was VERY high needs, and it wasn't until #2 was about 12 months that things started feeling right again.... but there are still days like this.

So, the way I look at it... TONS of parents have to struggle with this. There are other benefits your kids get by having siblings around. Those things I believe are just as important as the 1:1 time they would receive if they were an only sibling. They are different items, but just as important.


At least that is what I tell myself when I'm feeling guilty. ;-)

Tammy

[gaialice]

This is my main problem, absolutely n.1 problem with parenting! I read Unconditional Parenting for instance and I remember how the author describes one evening when his little girl (only daughter) was being especially difficult. In spite of the fact that she misbehaved, she still got her evening story, and when she was calmer, her parents discussed with her about what had happened. Yeah, it is so nice, I can really picture that pretty little girl in the neat sofa with her two parents but it really is not happening when I am by myself and I have to dinner, bathe and put to bed my 4,5 and 3 yo dds! So what happens in my family is that they misbehave, they anyway get their bedtime stories, and sometimes in the process I just try and discuss how a particular behaviour was not helpful, but, I just cannot have a meaningful discussion, because I am constantly interrupted by the other sibling, besides I do not like to have these discussions in front of the other child and I can't leave either unsupervised for very long or worse follows. Additionally, if bedtime is too late, worse follows the next day.... So....my only solution is to have 1:1 during the weekend, do something enjoyable with one or the other and discuss at that point recurrent bad behaviours.