How to deal with screaming tantrums?

[Satori]

After 5 years dd finally figured out screaming at the top of her lungs, and to make matters worse its the kind that makes you come running because something is wrong. Yesterday she screamed bloody murder for 15-20 minutes in the tub because the water was cold and she wanted me to add more hot water. I said no it was time to get out, instant tantrum. I finally closed the bathroom door because the echo was not helping my headache :bag: She finally got out but it was not fun and I got wet :irked: Then tonight I said its bedtime (after many warnings) and she started screaming again like she was hurt or being tortured or something. Then when I ignored it she pushed my hot button and went and hit the wall heater which makes a really loud noise and disturbs 3 other neighbors :( Earlier she got mad and tried screaming and kicked the bed, unfortunately for her she kicked the steel frame :LOL I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh but it was an instant lesson in why we don't kick things! Then I got smart and remembered the heater and told her she better stop hitting the heater or it might bite her too! :LOL Yes, I'm desperate and resorted to lying, sorta, if she knocks it down off the wall and it hit her in the head then it would "bite" her. How do you handle screaming fits in an older kid? Putting her in her room does NOT help

[babybugmama]

I guess I look at all behavior as motivated by something. What do you think is motivating your dd's tantrums...besides the obvious I want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it? :LOL Is she trying to find more power and control in her life, is she striving for more interaction from others...that kind of thing. I think if you look at the cause it'll be easier to find the solution. When dd has a tantrum I identify what I *think* is going on and what I *think* are the feelings and then let her know I'm hear when she's ready. Sometimes that really is all you can do. If it's a phase and you remain consistent it'll pass.

Let me know what you think the motivators are and perhaps there'll be some more ideas :hug