Telling Current OB/GYN

[NEWUC'ER]

I am 6 1/2 mo. pg and have just now been able to find a midwife that will travel to my home for the birth. My problem is How do I break it to my current OB/GYN that I will be having a home birth instead of a hospital birth? If I were to use my current then I would have to travel 2 hrs to the hospital b/c of my insurance. This doc wants to induce b/c I live so far. (Will not happen!!!!) I just don't know how to tell him. I don't want to get any more are you crazy looks. Please help!!!


Thanks,

Sherry

[cathicog]

you don't. You just keep going to your midwife and keep it to yourself. Most OBs won't see you if they think you won't be there for the birth anyway. They won't hunt you down if you don't show up for any more appts...

[SunRayeMomi]

Forget it! If he's so keen to induce you, remind him that it was something you never wanted to happen and that you found someone who will better suit your wishes. That is if he asks, if not, better yet, don't tell him and have a wonderful birth;)

[flapjack]

If the subject comes up, tell him you've found an alternative professional who is prepared to respect your wishes regarding your antenatal care and delivery. Chances are, though, that it won't.

[nadine]

i switched from an ob to a midwife at 36 weeks pregnant because we wanted a homebirth.

i just went to the office one day and got copies of my records to give to the midwife. i didn't see the doctor, but her nurse came out and was nice, but gave me a scared look since i was going to have my baby at home.

[JanetF]

It's interesting that you're scared of someone that you trusted to take you safely through the challenges of birth. Why tell him anything? Just don't show or write a letter saying "Your services are no longer required." You don't need to justify or explain to him any more than you would if you changed phone service provider or car mechanic. He's obviously unable to read evidence if he thinks inducing for that reason is ok. He sounds like a creep. Your birth, your choice! Now go enjoy! :hug

[angington]

Just call the receptionist. Tell her you found another health care provider and need to cancel the rest of your appointments. You don't have to explain why or speak to the ob if you don't want to. It's none of their business.

[NEWUC'ER]

thank you all for your replies. The thing is I guess I 'm worrried b/c I work in the same Hospital and see him when his clinic comes on Thursdays. It's just so akward!! I guess I could just not say anything and keep seeing him. Then tell him that the baby came too fast?? Thank you all you are so wonderful!!!

[JBaxter]

I would just call and tell them you found someone closer to your home and you will be switching providers. < no need to tell them it IS your home :LOL )

[jplain]

Continuing to see him for parallel care isn't the worst possible solution, but look inside yourself and see if that's what YOU want. Because this isn't about your doctor and his feelings or opinions; it is about you and your needs.

During my last pregnancy I gave up parallel care fairly late. I was sick and tired of going to twice the appointments. Breaking the news was no big deal. I was seeing a CNM, told her I had decided to plan a homebirth, and that I wanted my records. She seemed surprised, but not at all disapproving.

[hunnybumm]

I would do as a pp mentioned. Just call the office and say you have decided to go to another provider and you would like to get a copy of your records. The receptionist probably won't even question why.

[applejuice]

Just get your records.

YOu are fine. You paid him for his time, and move on.

[MelissaEvans]

Congrats on finding a midwife!
Working with the OB would be really weird. I hope you find a way that you can feel peaceful with!

[newtonscricket]

My dad had this problem when he wanted to change cardiologists. Since he was the director of the laboratory at the hospital in their small town, he would definitely come into contact with the dr. at work after the change.

His brother and BIL are both doctors and they advised him to simply call the office, have the records transferred. They said, IF the doctor ever asked him why he had changed (which they both thought was unlikely), to just say "I thought it was for the best" in a pleasant tone.

Really, I understand your anxiety. I can hardly change hairstylists :)

[KBinSATX]

Interesting thread. I may be faced with a similar decision soon. One of my worries was how easy it would be to get copies of my records to get to my MW.
I already did all the blood tests, etc. and would rather not have to pay for them again

[bubsmom]

You should be able to just go in and request a copy of your records (some places may change you if it is a lot of paperwork.) Simply state taht you have found another provider you are more comfortable with. Most liekly the office will just want to fax the info to the new Dr and if want to avoid awkwardness you can say that they prefer you just bring them (make up some excuse like appt is tommorrow and you don't have the fax #, etc.) I was lucky that my family practitioner was going to deliver but late into the game I found a MW that was close by. I told him and he was actually excited since he knew it was what I wanted. He even looked up Ina May Gaskin's contact info so I could find out what type of questions to ask my new MW to make sure she was the one I wanted. He was great but I still loved my MW even more.

[stayathomecristi]

Remember you were hiring him to perform a service for you. Maybe if you look at it as a business decision it will be easier for you. You have found someone to perform the services you want in the way that you want them.

This is your BIRTH, you don't owe him anything of an explanation.

I had to change docs last minute (2 weeks before birth) last time, but my doc and I had an incredible repoire and she totally understood my reasoning. As fate would have it she actually was AT my birth--awesome!!!

Doesn't sound like this guy is looking after your best interests wanting to induce you for convenience sake, does it?

JMHO ---have an awesome birth experience!

[jmom713]

I did dual care until the 18 week u/s. Then i filled out the forms and got my records. At the request of my OB, the receptionist did ask why i was leaving mid-pregnancy and i simply let her know i wanted a home birth. She had not further questions or comments. :D

[greeniegreen]

Another recommendation for not even telling them. Send them a records release, that's all they need. I would definitely recommend you send them a letter as well if you were unhappy with their care.

[busybusymomma]

I left the OB's office at 19 weeks with my 2nd baby/1st homebirth and they never even noticed I was gone. :shrug When visited my midwife's unofficial backup OB, I gave them permission to request my records... if you want to have those records you'll probably have to request them. Maybe you can do that over the phone and just sign the release papers when you pick them up. :D

I'd probably prefer to avoid the confrontation because when I'm pregnant I'm a little more protective of myself (otherwise I'm more in your face believe it or not)... but if it comes down to it just tell them you found someone closer to home which negates any discussion of induction. :wink

[musemor]

I "broke up" with my OB at 34 weeks. I sent her a note as a courtesy saying I was continuing my prenatal care with another provider. You are entitled by law to a copy of your medical records, so don't be afraid that you won't be able to get them.

My OB actually responded to my note and asked why I was switching and if I had any constructive criticism for her or the HMO. I said that I had been happy with her care but had some specific birth preferences that weren't compatible with the HMO hospital. Her response was less than enthusiastic but she wished me the best and that was that.

[KBinSATX]

I thought my OB was very nice so it's no personality conflict. If we switch it will be because we decide a different approach works better for us. I think I would like to let her know that our decision was based on approach rather than her, etc.