Strange question for lesbian mamas

[anudi01]

Hello, I have a question for lesbian couples with nursing babies. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, I am just genuinely curious. Does it ever happen that nursing babes only nurse from the birth mother, or if both mothers are lactating do the babies nurse from both mothers? I know in some cultures it is commonplace for women to nurse each others babies, but wasn't sure if it happens in a lesbian relationship. Also, I am by no means implying that what happens in one family is what happens in all families, but would like to know what the scoop is at MDC.

Can you tell I am nervous about how this post will be received???? :o

[max_4477]

I was the birthmom and only I nursed. DW has no interest in giving birth or breastfeeding, although she is totally supportive of me doing it. I think it's more common for just one mom to nurse, although some couples certainly both breastfeed.

[2happymamas]

Two friends of mine did this when their son was born. The child did not seem to prefer one woman's breast over the other. I think he just liked to eat, with no regard to whose breast he was suckling. The non-birth mother did have some difficulty in the beginning in producing enough milk. The birth mother went back to work about 8 weeks after their DS was born while his other mom stayed home with him. I believe it took about three months for the non-bio mom's milk to come in full force.

[Faerieshadow]

I am the only one breastfeeding our son. We have talked about inducing lactation with future children, but DP isn't sure about it. Not because she thinks it is weird, but because she isn't sure if she wants to set herself up to think she could do it only to be disappointed if it doesn't work. If she decides to birth one of our children, I will nurse also.

[mamimapster]

I would definitely make an attempt for both to try, and wish that we had done so. Now to convince my Dp that trying to nurse #2 after her horrific experience with #1 is a good thing.........I wish that there was more support in our community for both moms to at least try and nurse (no offence to soft butch daddy types out there!).

[Jes'sBeth]

I really wanted to induce lactation but couldn't figure out how to do it practically... we wanted to make sure that there was one full supply and my DW as the bio-mom needed to feed our DD until that was well established and if you don't have a baby nursing regularly it's really hard to induce lactation. You end up completely wedded to a pump and it's really hard to be trying to pump enough to establish a supply if you're caring for a newborn too. After DW had established a good supply we couldn't figure out how to practically work out how to keep that supply and also have me establish and maintain a supply without affecting DW's.

In short, I gave up on trying to breastfeed our DD. It still bothers me that we couldn't work out logistics.

For now, DD comfort nurses from me occasionally and we have a lact-aid breastfeeding supplementer that I use with expressed breast milk when DW needs to go out for a bit since. My exeedingly supportive DW has managed to sit through me trying to teach our daughter to use a bottel (NO WAY) and then teaching her how to use a sippy cup. The supplementer is really fiddley.

[AugustLia23]

Well, my wife and I are both currently breastfeeding, me with the little one, her with the older one. She has nursed Trey, only once, but we plan on it in the future. I used to comfort nurse Kesi, but he has no interest now that I actually HAVE milk.

[splash]

I comfort nurse Charlie quite often. In fact, he nurses off me almost as much as off her, and when he just wants to suck it is almost exclusively me. It works for us and we all love it.
If I were ever to birth a child, Jean would be the one who breastfeeds that one since itis highly unlikely I would ever produce milk, and definitely not enough to sustain a child. So, no matter who births the kids the nursing arrangement will be the same.
Now we just need to know how to let DP's family in on this... her sister knows and thinks it's gross... but her parents will freak.

[moonmama22]

I don't have much to add - I am the birthmom, and only one nursing our son. Dp had no interest whatsoever in giving birth or nursing, though I tease her about inducing lactation. Unfortunately, because of this, he is much more attached to me, and cries when I leave for work, even when she is here with him. Not that it would change her mind, but I'm curious, with other couples where only one mom is nursing, have you had this problem, and how have you dealt with it?

I guess I could have started a new thread with this last question...
Anyway, for those of you who are both nursing, I give much respect - I think that is incredible!!!

[SyrenCyn]

Does it ever happen that nursing babes only nurse from the birth mother, or if both mothers are lactating do the babies nurse from both mothers?

No kids here yet but the plan is...

I will be the birthmother to our children. My partner will be inducing lactation during my pregnancy. If either of us cannot lactate that person will use a SNS with expressed milk from the other.

I do know a couple who did just about the exact plan as above, it seemed to work well for their family.

[HippoMommy]

I'm DD's birth mom. I nursed her until she weaned herself. DP did not nurse her at all, nor did she try.

I do know of a lesbian couple (friends) whose daughter nursed from both of them (the one who was not the birth mom did induce lactation by pumping - she didn't get a lot of milk, but enough for their baby to "snack" a little).