View Full Version : How soon will you tell friends/family?
strawberryprincess
09-02-2005, 01:35 PM
Last time we waited til i was 10-12 weeks. this time i'd like to tell people earlier.
the reason why we waited so long was that two SIL had m/c and my MIL took it *really* hard. so we wanted as little risk as possible. since dd was born, one of those SIL had a still born baby, and again, MIL took it *really really* hard (not to mention how difficult it was for S/BIL).
my thinking is htat if i do happen to m/c before telling anyone, i would end up telling everyone anyway, because i know i would need the support.
so do you think it's possible to tell just my side of family now,a nd wait a few months before telling the dh's side?
what have you momma's done/plan to do regarding spreading the news?
minimunklemama
09-02-2005, 01:44 PM
I have told family and a few friends already :down
I feel the same as you about the support as that happened to us and I had the support of friends and family after my m/c.
I think thew whole world will know in a few weeks!! :blah I am too excited :bouncy
maybebaby
09-02-2005, 01:52 PM
I think I've complained about this already :LOL
But neither my family nor dh's will be particularly happy so we'll wait until we just have to tell them. They don't agree with most of the things we do from homeschooling to living simply; they think we're sorta crazy :p so I'm not exactly looking forward to telling them. I mean, yeah, four kids is a lot and we weren't really trying or anything...but for people to be unhappy about a new baby, it's just stupid.
Maybe I'll just write them all a letter :LOL
Mamabeakley
09-02-2005, 02:01 PM
I really like telling people in person, so I have been waiting a WHOLE WEEK to tell my mom (and the rest of my family) b/c I am going up to visit her tomorrow. Such restraint! And my SIL is coming into town on Monday with her 5 month old, who hasn't been seen yet by many of my ILs, so we thought it would only be fair to wait till they've been here a few days and had some center-of-attention time before springing the news on DH's family.
And I don't feel right telling friends before family (except ya'll, cause ya'll don't know any of my family!).
Last time I was planning to wait to tell my employers (a whole church full of people) until 12 weeks, just figuring that I might NOT want to tell all 200 of them if I miscarried. However, I felt so miserable by about week 7 or 8 (and I was on bedrest for a while b/c I was bleeding) that I ended up telling them then so I could take some time off of work! So I guess I'll do the same thing this time - tell at 12 weeks or whenever I feel so awful I have to admit why :-)
merrick
09-02-2005, 05:58 PM
I told pretty much everybody as soon as I found out. I was a bit nervous telling so early, but I didn't have any problems with my first pregnancy and I just couldn't wait to tell! My MIL was already getting suspicious because I was having to take naps and I was complaining about my sore bbs!
Sydnee
09-02-2005, 06:19 PM
Umm, yah, we told everybody the first dasy we found out!!! :LOL I am soooo not into waiting to tell people, we're too close with our families and friends. :love
mamacatsbaby
09-02-2005, 07:49 PM
We waited a few days after I told DH. We couldn't decide if we wanted to tell people right away or not. Our families and friends secretly and not so secretly :p think we're a few loose too. But then we figured that if we waited they'd all just be mad and we'd get the screws put to us. I just didn't wanna hear "Natural childbirth, laboring w/o drugs, water/homebirth?!?! Guffaw! Ha! You'll never make it..." :blah :blah :blah and so on and so forth. :irked: Ahhh Family... :nut
nydiagonz
09-03-2005, 01:03 AM
Last time I was really, really excited and waited until I was in the "safe" zone (13 weeks) to tell everyone. This time I am not feeling the same way. I am happy, but not so excited and I have completely lost my belief in the "safe" time to tell... I don't mean to rain on the party :guilty and I know that if I make it that far, I have a much better chance of having a great, healthy baby, but I just can't feel so sure right now.
I just found out yesterday, and I am already telling my family and at work I just told my supervisor. I guess as strawberryprincess said, if something were to happen, I could use the support after all we have been through this year.
peypeymama
09-03-2005, 11:30 AM
Last time, I told my family and some friends right away. We waited until after my SIL's bridal shower to tell his family. SIL was still grumpy that we got married before her (a year 1/2 engagement!). I remember sitting at the shower wishing I could unbutton my jeans.
After we told, that is ALL my MIL could talk about... she also kept touching and dancing around me alot too! So I'm glad we waited...
I told my sister whose 2nd baby is due Sept. 21st, but we haven't shared with anyone else yet.
Oh & my MIL passed away from a 6 year battle with cancer this June :candle . It just won't be the same without her :crying
Naughty Dingo
09-03-2005, 02:06 PM
I usually tell in person, pretty soon. As long as I care about the people and am confortable with their opinions :LOL
It is my MIL's birthday this Friday, she is coming up on saturday to visit and celebrate (DP's bday is 9-11) We will have to do something cute. And then my mom is coming on 9-14 so I will tell her then. I already told my birth mom over the phone. She called to tell me she woke up at 4:30 in the night thinking about me. It turns out I had woken that night at the same time, for the first time convinced I was pregnant and peed on a stick. Eerie :LOL
djinneyah
09-03-2005, 03:11 PM
the only people i have left to tell are a couple friends and dh's family (they live out of state, so it will have to be a phone call). my mom is still *processing* the information (she's not the jump up and down type). her main concern is that we won't be overwhelmed, and i appreciate her concern, but i feel really good about this. i know we'll be overwhelmed at some point, you can't avoid it, but we want to be, so it's okay :wink i know after she had me, she couldn't even contemplate having another one, so she doesn't understand why i want another one. i'm sure after a couple days of thinking about it, she'll be excited.
my MIL, OTOH, is going to be screaming and jumping and calling all her friends and family. she LOVES babies :LOL
~*max*~
09-03-2005, 03:11 PM
I just found out this afternoon! So I told dh of course, and my best girlfriend. But I am holding off on the others for a little while. Like Maybebaby, this is our fourth baby (and we are raising my dn, so more like 5th) and I know people are going to have issues. But like my dh said, this is something wonderful, we are not going to let other people's opinions change that.
It wasn't totally planned, so I still need some time to become adjusted to the idea myself.
Congratulations everyone!
ksmommy
09-03-2005, 03:16 PM
We told everyone as soon as we found out. We always have done it this way adn last time when I went through surgery we had friends and family praying for us and it helped a lot!
busybusymomma
09-03-2005, 05:19 PM
We've already told my parents, his mom (dad is deceased), my grandparents, most of the great-grandparents and today I told my great-great grandma.
Tomorrow at church if I don't spill the beans, I'm quite sure my brother or parents will! :LOL
strawberryprincess
09-05-2005, 12:04 PM
dh and i had another heart to heart about telling people, and he is still adament about not telling...he even suggested waiting til Christmas!!! :irked: i'll probably be showing by then. we've kinda compromised to wait til the end of oct. but i'm bursting to tell. we spent the whole weekend with m/fil, and it was so hard not to say something, esp. all the times i felt like i might throw up or at least use the bathroom, AGAIN! maybe something will happen to make people guess at dd b-day party in a couple weeks. ( like throwing up or something) otherwise, i guess this isn't a battle i'm going to win. *sigh*
Naughty Dingo
09-05-2005, 02:39 PM
Olivia! Christmas! Oh my Gawd! I would be dying if I had to hold it in that long. What was he thinking? I am glad he agreed to the October thing. Oy! :LOL
busybusymomma
09-05-2005, 07:43 PM
Olivia! Christmas! Oh my Gawd! I would be dying if I had to hold it in that long. What was he thinking? I am glad he agreed to the October thing. Oy! :LOL
:yeah:
ChattyCat
09-07-2005, 08:57 AM
Well, I can't wait until 12-13 weeks. Last time by 10 weeks I was obviously pg to people who didn't know me, so I expect that people who do know me will figure it out sooner than that.
We told my sister and parents and my FIL. I've also told some friends from LLL and 2 that knew we had fertility problems that don't live here. We're holding off on telling the rest of dh's family (MIL and 5 siblings) and the rest of our friends until we see the heartbeat in 2 weeks. When I had the m/c I had to endure some very insensitive remarks from that side of the family, and I'd rather not go through that again should another m/c happen (God forbid!).
We have a wedding to go to on the 23rd and most all of dh's friends will be there. That should be after my u/s, so I expect to tell people there when they ask why I'm not drinking.
I also have to tell dh's step-brother's wife before I really tell the rest of that side of the family. Let's just say that I have been hurt by them and the way they chose to flaunt their pregnancy, while I was ttc. They had a babe at the end of July, and I haven't seen her yet or even talked on the phone to them. I cannot stand step BIL. He is such a jerk. But, his wife is really sweet. So, I told dh that I would call her and buy her lunch and explain everything to her.
Man, can I ramble! :blah
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