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spj15
09-06-2005, 09:53 AM
Hi everyone -

I am new to this and have never posted, but I am having a really rough day and am hoping for some support here. This is what's going on: I was 12 weeks w/my first pregnancy when I started to miscarry on Aug. 5. It lasted FOUR WEEKS, believe it or not, and was the most difficult thing I have EVER experienced, both physically and emotionally. I told some friends and family, and one co-worker, but that's it. I am a really private person and didn't want my personal business being fodder for water-cooler discussion. Anyway, I learned a few weeks ago that one of my co-workers had a miscarriage about 2 weeks ago, at about 8 weeks. I told her what had happened to me because I figured if anyone could relate, she could. I felt awful for her.

Today, I learned that over the weekend she found out that while she did indeed miscarry, she miscarried a TWIN, and is still carrying the other one. The kicker is that she is due one month after I would have been.

While I am, of course, delighted for her, I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. We are a small office (5 people upstairs, 3 downstairs) and I am imagining watching her waistline expand over the upcoming months, being invited to the office baby shower, etc. It's just unbelievably painful. I felt like I was getting better but then this happened.

She is an extremely sensitive person and wanted to tell me in person with the door shut, because she knew how difficult this would probably be for me, but that doesn't make me feel any better - it just makes me feel more pathetic.

Anyone have any advice?




Cole
09-06-2005, 10:36 AM
:hug to you Mamma. So sorry for your loss. I couldn't read without posting and letting you know that while I have not BTDT, I think all of your feelings are normal and I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully someone will come by that has a little more constructive advice.

boycrazy
09-06-2005, 10:52 AM
Sorry mama! I have been there!
After my molar pregnancy and d&c it was a few years b4 we were pregnant again. No one wanted to tell me they were pregnant. Of course I was jealous but thrilled for them! It's hard. People walked on eggshells around me and it was hard. We are not "fast" reproducers but have managed 2 kids and I am pregnant in 12 years of marraige. :D

Sorry your miscarrage has been hard.
:bag: terrible speller today!

Erin_82
09-07-2005, 02:04 AM
oh i dont know what to say!
my bestfriend and his girlfriend are having a baby due in october and he asked me to plan the baby shower!
it's hard since i just lost my baby, but i'm doing it anyway.
i dont know what to say. except....
(((((HUGS)))))))

PaytonsMom
09-07-2005, 08:58 AM
I'm in the same boat. I too lost a baby in August (at 8 weeks) and then learn shortly after than my SIL is due the day AFTER I was!! It's going to be a rough Christmas. I'm trying hard not to be jealous- after all, this child will make me an aunt for the first time, but I also know it's not going to be easy. And then yesterday I learned of a coworker who's pregnant due one month earlier. *scream* I'm surrounded!! And it makes the loss so much harder to bear. I wish I had constructive words for you, but I don't. :( Hugs to you, and know that you are not alone.