does/will your child play outside alone?

[Missgrl]

Just wondering.......

My almost 4 year old WILL NOT play outside alone. We live on about 4 acres and have all the "toys" you can think of. We also have a fenced in backyard area....good size.....so it's not like he has the whole property to trudge through and feel lost. His play area is gated and secluded.

It's hard b/c when I need to go inside to do whatever he breaks down b/c he wants to stay out! I tell him he can stay out as long as he wants to! I say I'll open a window or leave the door open so he can shout at me.....but still NO!

Now my ds is very cautious and carefull and this totally fits his personality so i doesn't surprise me! But I would have thought by 4 he would do some idependent outdoor play!

[lilyka]

My dd does, but not so much that her friends aren't around (we moved) She gets kind bored now.

Does your son play by himself in the house or does he stay within a comfprtable chatting distance with you?

[rsps]

Our 4 year old will play outside alone, but he does it better if I'm not home and it's DH who is in charge.

[Missgrl]

lilyka!~~~

Oh he is right there within chatting distance always!!!! LOL

[Marsupialmom]

Walkie Talkies, worked for a friend of mine.

[onlyboys]

My 8 year old will now play by himself outside. It took him years before he would. I always left the front door open and stayed in the kitchen where he could hear/see me and he refused. He's never played by himself inside either. He absolutely never plays in his room and prefers common spaces.

My 2 year old would play outside all day long. He'd leave the house if our doors weren't locked. He plays by himself for HOURS inside; so long I actually check on him and sit close in case he wants to talk.

[levar]

Our son does play outside by himself. But it *was* a long time coming. We have always had a 6' high fence around the entire backyard and I leave the sliding door open as long as the temperature is over 60. We also have a dog which comes and goes at-will. I started with him outside, then I'd say "going in to do xyz, be back in a minute", then just get longer and longer time and more and more 'stuff to do'. He is just-4 and now I come and go from backyard to family room to kitchen just like he and the dog do.

Will something similar work for you? Maybe just like sleeping alone, it takes time and mini-steps?

[1xmom]

My dd is 4 and the only time she's never out by herself, partly b/c I live on a main street and there is a local park behind my house so there is some traffic. My yard isn't fenced in either, but I'd probably still be apprehensive even if it was.

[boysrus]

Missy!!(drumming her fingers on the countertop!) Stil waiting for a pm from you explaining why you are no longer on the west coast with me where you belong...
My kids all do. My 3 yo watns to and I wont let him bc our yards not fenced. But, that is only bc his brothers are out there. He doesnt play well by himself at all.
You might have to do a little "conditioning" work and just scoot back a little more from him each day. One day, you play there, I will sit on the porch. The next day, you play outside, I will be just inside the door but I am holding the door open. next day, I am sitting just inside the door but the door is propped. Next I am just inside the door and the screen door is shut but I am right inside of it. etc.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Both my kids are big "outside alone types". We have a fenced backyard and a well-covered pool, so its safe enough. With my 4 YO I'm not worried at all -- though I do keep a window and the sliding door open so I can hear if there is a problem. However, I am more concerned with my toddler, who will be out the door the minute I turn my back on her if that's where she wants to go. Taught big brother to always close the screen door so she can't get out. Come to find that she can climb through the dog door. At this point I'm glad my son is usually outside too so he can holler if she's in trouble (or troubling him, which is more likely). I try not to spend too much time inside if she is out, but sometimes nature calls, KWIM? Luckily I can see the backyard from 90% of the house, so I'm getting more relaxed about it. I am truly surprised at how long she will play on her own when the mood strikes.

[*LoveBugMama*]

Noah (will be 3 YO in a few days) doesn`t play much alone anywhere... :LOL

But the place he can occupie himself the longest, is outside.

But even there its just for 5, 10 minutes max.

[Viola]

Mine won't go upstairs by herself, but she will play outside. Unfortunately she prefers the front yard, and dh doesn't think it is safe. He's afraid of her being kidnapped or walking into the street or something. I've let her play out in the driveway with chalk a few times. I prefer when she goes out on the deck or down to the patio in the back yard, but I have let her play outside in front. But then I have to keep checking on her. Now if I had a place like you describe, where I'd feel safer with her being outside, I can guarantee that she probably wouldn't want to go out and play. :LOL

[joesmom]

joe will play outside without me, & when his cousins are here they would stay out constantly. we live in the middle of nowhere so i do not worry about anyone taking him, we have a trampoline my parents got the kids for Easter so i watch him when he is on that, but...

of course if a BEE flies by, joe is inside :bolt for the rest of the day! :rolleyes:

[Mamajamz]

So glad to know other kids don't play alone. My DD is 6, DS 3, and neither has ever played alone for any time except for 2 exceptions: DD will play on the computer alone. Of course, the computer "talks" back to her. BUt as far as outside I discovered a long time ago that the thing she loves the most is WATER. Give the kid a bucket of water and some dirt and she's happy for hours. It amazes me. That seemed to be my magic ticket to a little quiet time for myself. If I just give permission for her to turn on the hose that's all she needs. So maybe you have to find that magical "thing" that your child loves. She would also play in the sandbox a long time if I allowed her to add....water to whatever she was doing. Actually there is another thing that also keeps her busy and so involved that she will stop talking for a little while, and that is art. She creates her masterpieces and does wonders with: paper or paper plates, scissors, straws, pipe cleaners and tape and of course something to color with. She loves tape. She makes feathers, wings, creatures, toys, whatever her mind dreams up. My son likes blocks and trains, things that go. He is starting to spend more time alone little by little.
One more thing about outside that's related. DD also likes to take some of her favorite toys outside with her, as if they're her friends that she is sharing the outside with, although most of the time she also has her brother.
Bubbles is another good thing for outside....as well as paint brushes and plenty of washable paints..and chalk so they can just go wild out there.
I think what makes the outside fun at our house is that things are more permissible outside than in.

[Cranberry]

My ds is 4 and doesn't like playing outside by himself. I don't feel really comfortable leaving him out there alone either. It's a safe neighborhood, but we don't have a fenced in yard, so one of us is usually out there with him.

[MamaMonica]

My 4 yo will rarely even play in the house by herself and never outside. She will play out alone with her brother, though-- but that never lasts long without some sort of disaster. It's been frustrating.

[ajsmom]

Aidan will play outside alone but he's in a stage of wanting me to be with him. His line is, "Let me show you how to operate the backhoe!"

If you think you can, I'd start by playing with him until he's really involved in something. Then say, I forgot to check the (whatever) I'll be right back. Go for a couple of minutes, see what happens. Go back. Do stuff in the yard a bit farther away from him, composting, gardening. Go back to him, chat. Ask if he needs a snack and tell him you'll be right back. Go inside and try to do more stuff each time... Tiny steps.

He may just be happier knowing you are nearby and if you keep coming by it may seem like a common area even if you are actually in it briefly.

Now, if we could just get Aidan to unwind and go to sleep. Too many cheetahs!

Hugs to you all! :grouphug