my biggest homebirth fear

[Mariposa]

okay. so i am totally confident in my body's ability to birth my baby as well as in my midwife's abilities to assist with the delivery of my baby. i trust her to know what is normal and what would necessitate a transfer.

my biggest fear is an emergency transfer. the doc's that the midwife has for possible backups don't practice at the closest hospital to me, which is about 2-3 minutes in a car. i am totally terrified that i will have some horrible doctor or nurses that hate homebirthers, etc. i am also afraid the only doctor available will be a man and i do not see male doctor's because of history of sexual abuse as a child. my midwife said they could request a woman, but in a dire emergency, i would probably have no choice. i guess i wouldn't care at that point, huh?

is this a common fear? what can i do to help prepare myself for this possibility and also to help plan for it?

advice from my fellow mamas??

[kote80]

I can't give you much advice but I can relate a bit. I am nervous about having to transfer to the hospital as the doctor I have/had been seeing is very unsupportive of a natural twin birth and Im so worried if I end up going to the hospital that he will or the other doctors will be "told you so" and rude and cold to me, I have had only bad experiences at that hospital. My plan is to have my midwife there as doula tho if that happens and I think that will help alot. I would plan for the worst and hope for the best. Be prepared to accept it if you have to go to the hospital because obviously that is the best thing for baby and you at that point and that is the most important thing in the end, that baby and you are safe. I know I am trying to mentally prepare, if I end up at the hospital, then I know thats the way it had to be. Good luck to you! :)

[ZeldasMom]

I think it is really common to be concerned about emergency transfer.

The strategy what works for me when I think about an emergency transfer, or having to endure any medical procedure, is thinking about how lucky I am to have it. For example, I really hate getting dental work done, but it helps me get through it to think about people in developing countries who don't have access to dental care. And about transfer for a birth, I think about stories my midwife has told me about working with midwives in Africa. I forget where she was, but if something went wrong and they needed to get a woman to the hospital, transportation was a major problem and they would be standing out in the street trying to flag down a ride.

There are a lot of procedures that are commonly done at hospital births that I don't want. My first child's birth was in a hospital and I put a tremendous amount of work into strategizing how to avoid this stuff. And I did (at least the things that were really important to me). But it is an enormous relief not to have to worry about fending off interventions this time. But if something does go wrong, and we end up needing to go to the hospital, I wouldn't view this as a tragedy. This time if I go to the hospital, my thinking is that it will be because I actually need the things they have there.

Also, would your midwife going with you in the event of a transfer? Mine would, and knowing she would be there to support me is also a source of comfort.

I wonder if it would help to talk to your midwife, or others in the homebirth community in your area, to find out what people's experiences have been like when homebirthers have transferred. Or what about touring the hospital? (you don't have to tell them you are planning a homebirth). For me, seeing what the reality is like helps me focus on what I could do to cope in that situation rather than worrying about unknowns.

HTH!

[alegna]

:hug

The chances are SO low of needing to transfer- if you need to it will probably be a real emergency and you will be worried about other things. What's your midwife's transfer rate?

-Angela

[jerawo]

I was basically in your situation with my emergency transport hospital. My MW makes you go to the closest one, and it was a tiny hospital 5 minutes from my house. For a regular transport, we got to pick the hospital and I chose the one my MW says treats homebirthers well which is 10 minutes from my house. We ended up with our planned homebirth, which happened a little quicker than we imagined.

I figured the likelihood we'd have an evergency transport was so rare, I didn't worry about it too much. The transport rate of MWs is usually low, and most of those are decisions made my everyone involved not because an emergency has occured during the labor or delivery.

[camprunner]

I've done research on what reasons I would need to transfer for and that made me feel better. I don't have a backup doc at all. There are very few emergencies we'd have to transfer for. I think a couple are true emergencies and the others aren't so much emergencies. I'm not high risk for any emergencies. I've thought about what hospitals I'd end up with in each scenario. In the end I just want to be alive with a healthy baby so if my midwife whom I totally trust decides that we need to transfer then I'll be disappointed and scared but I'll know that we made the best possible decisions.

[ABand3]

I hope this eases your worries instead of adds to them, but I thought I'd share my experience. I had a planned homebirth in 7/05 (DC#3) and transferred after the birth (for me, the baby was fine - I'll spare the details for all you now pregnant, PM me if you want to know). The paramedics arrived in only a few minutes, and by then all was fine, but we decided to go just as a precaution. So this wasn't truely an emergency, but nonetheless decided to go to the closest hospital (a.k.a plug me in and wake me when it's over) instead of the midwife friendly hosp 20 mins away.

So, on the way there, I was dreading it, and trying to brace myself for an onslaught of interventions and doctors repremanding me for my homebirth choice.

To my surprise - the L&D floor, which is usually one of the busiest in the area, was empty (maybe b/c it was sunday evening before the fourth of july and what doc would schedule an induction/csec then? :wink ). The nurse on duty was a bit cool to me, but then three other nurses came in, and turns out two of them are midwifes / are studying to be midwives, and knew my midwife who came in with me. One had even had an unintentional homebirth as a client of my midwife! So it turned into a bit of a reunion, with whispered criticism of the hospital and praises of homebirth & birthcenters. The doctor never even came by, just told the nurse to do a blood draw and if all was ok send me home. I was home within two hours, had the baby with me the whole time - they didn't touch her.

So, while I was dreading the worst, it all worked out so well it's unbelievable. Try to remember, transfers are so rare (I was the first one of the year for my busy midwife) and it won't necessarily be terrible. I think of mine as a little detour to promote homebirth among the hospital staff :) .

Best wishes to you.

[Mariposa]

thanks everyone. i have an appt with my midwife tomorrow and will talk to her about my fears and what our plan is. i know it is rare, but i am such a worrywort. i constantly freak myself out about stuff.

[SunRayeMomi]

In my birth class my midwife/instructor had us do a pastel drawing of our biggest fear of birth. There were two other couples, one of which was also HBing and one of which was going to a birth center. The first drew a "tear" meaning she was afraid of tearing during delivery. The second drew an IV and hospital bed and I think meant she was afraid she would end up with an epidural and intervention. I drew myself alone on a deserted island. Everyone wondered what it was at first. But after they looked for a couple seconds, they said "ooohhhh." I wasn't afraid of the labor and delivery alone. I was thinking about the rest of my life. I was afraid of being alone with this baby, as I was young and single. We all have fears.... but in the end, as I found (after a not-so-perfect but still great HB), we almost always turn out alright in the end. Good luck.

[MamaTaraX]

I worry about transferring too. I think of it like this though: If I have to, I have to. I'm trying to avoid the hospital because birth is normal so if something is abnormal, then a hospitla is not such a bad place to go. My back-up dr. and hospital if 40 minutes fromme. And I'm due in the winter ini a place where bad roads abound. There are closer hospitals, so if someething were really desperate, I'd just go to one of them. Best wishes mama!

Namaste, Tara
mama to Doodle (6), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (due at home 1/06)

[orangebird]

I was so afraid of the transfer too. I didn't want to hear I told you so since everyone during pregnancy was giving me such a hard time, begging me to go to the hospitel.

[Mrs Dimples]

I hear you. :hug I'm not "afraid" of a transfer, per se - I mean, I don't want to end up there obviously because it will mean that something didn't go well and somebody's in danger - but I do worry about the level of care I would receive if I did end up with a transfer. I worry that I would be treated like a second class citizen, or that my baby would somehow get the short end of the stick because his/her crazy hippie irresponsible mama had to go and give birth in a cave somewhere. :eyesroll I have no idea how realistic this is - midwifery is legal here, so it could be worse I guess, but I have NOT gotten a good vibe from most MDs and RNs that I have had the misfortune of talking HB with. :(

[Mariposa]

I hear you. :hug I'm not "afraid" of a transfer, per se - I mean, I don't want to end up there obviously because it will mean that something didn't go well and somebody's in danger - but I do worry about the level of care I would receive if I did end up with a transfer. I worry that I would be treated like a second class citizen, or that my baby would somehow get the short end of the stick because his/her crazy hippie irresponsible mama had to go and give birth in a cave somewhere. :eyesroll I have no idea how realistic this is - midwifery is legal here, so it could be worse I guess, but I have NOT gotten a good vibe from most MDs and RNs that I have had the misfortune of talking HB with. :(

that really sums up most of my fear, though when i had my appt today with my midwife, she said she really hasn't had any truly bad experiences. so that gave me some relief. all of my co-workers have actually been supportive except one, but that is because her good friend had a homebirth and the baby has CP and she blames it on the homebirth.

[norasmom]

When I think of an emergency transfer, I know it will only be in the case of a true emergency. Most likely I will be wheeled in, knocked out & cut. The doctors in that situation are there to do a job and ethically, they have to do what needs to be done for my health and the health of the baby. Any other editorial comments that they have do not need to be my concern at all. I know I am making the right choice for me, my family, and my new baby. I don't need their approval.

My advice is don't worry about what they think, you are using a services that they must provide, not bowing down to the doctor as an all powerful god!

um ok stepping off my :soapbox

[Emilie]

I met with my back up OB today- and those fears are calmed. He was truly wonderful.
See if your midwife can reccomend you anyone who is ok with homebirth. This guy was and he is also the head of OB at the hospital here. So even if I transfer- I feel better about itjust knowing I will know the doc.
It took care of most of my fears.
Emilie