the world moves on

[AlternativeGirl]

i lost a baby half a decade ago. i am still crying all the time. the world has moved on. but every time someone close to me gets pregnant or i see someone who takes all they have for granted, i fall into a deep grief again. i'm going to start trying for another soon. i think that will help. therapy has been good too. but some days i want to just turn off the world. am i alone? am i the only one who wishes everyone could just stop getting pregnant for a year while i get my wits about me?

[Jacque Savageau]

AlternativeGirl, I really can relate. After my daughter died I couldn't go to baby showers or anything related to a baby. I had 2 sis-in-laws who were pregnant and I was so angry with them. I didn't wish anything bad - certainly not what had happend to me. But, I did want it all to end.

Even after my son was born alive and healthy, I had a really hard time with hearing about someone conceiving easily and having a baby - especially if they didn't appreciate it.

Today, I went out with a group of woman. One of them just had a baby 1 week ago. She came without the baby and spent the day complaining about how horrid it was to be pregnant. It made me so angry :angry .

My daughter was born still 8 yrs. ago and I still have days when I'm overwhelmed by what happened to me.

It sounds like you've done a lot of grief work which is great. Keep reaching out and allowing yourself to feel. Having another baby will fill that part of you that yurnes for a child, but will never fill the gap the child you lost has left.

I wish you peace and gentleness as you embark on your new journey.

[LEmama]

Sending love your way AlternativeGirl...You are not alone! There really is no "getting over it". There is only finding peace. Hopefully this forum can provide you with support/release. Take care, dear mama :fairy

[MoonBabiesMomma]

I feel the same way. It has been less than 2 months since I miscarried my baby and I get so upset when I see pregnant women. I know I shouldn't but it just reminds me that I am no longer pregnant and I am supposed to be. I have 3 friends who are pregnant and expecting the same time I was in April. I have been avoiding them and I am not sure I even want to see them or hear about their pregancies. :confused: I wish I did not feel like a horrible friend but I just can't take it now.

I'm not sure if we are going to try again so it make it even harder.

So, you are definately not the only one and you are not alone.

[Jacque Savageau]

MoonBabiesMomma,

Your pain is so fresh and new. Your not a horrible friend, you have so much to work through right now. Give yourself the time you need and be gentle with yourself.

It must be so hard trying to move forward with the girls while your still feeling so sad inside. I've been thinking about you lately, and hope that your feeling well.

(((((((((((HUG)))))))))))

[Mama2Cesca]

Gosh I can really relate to this. After I lost my Annabelle it seemed like EVERYONE I knew was pregnant. I was not very happy for them and then felt guilty for being so "mean". Luckily 8 months later I conceived again. My heart still dropped whenever anyone announces a pregnant or a new baby is born. Now we are ttc again and everyone seems to be pregnant! I'm jealous.:o I'm also jealous because most of these women seem so naive and don't seem to realize how precious that little life is. I'm jealous because they are naive. I do wonder if this feeling will ever go away?

[abimommy]

I don't think that feeling will ever go away....I guess it is something inherint in some women......some civilizations worshipped their ancestors while we worship our children.....
may they bask us in the glory of their smiles....:)

[Brandonsmama]

AlternativeGirl, my heart goes out to you tonight. I had my son at 43, after many years of infertility. I decided to try again about a year later, and got pregnant right away. I then proceeded to have 5 miscarriages over a year and a half. Finally we decided to stop trying and I got pregnant again anyway. All of my other miscarriages were really early, and when I got to 11 weeks with twins, I felt we had made it! I lost my two precious babies and 11 and 1/2 weeks. For a long time, I was inconsolable. I grieved and cried and wailed at the sky. But interestingly I realized that I had never let myself really grieve my other losses. After weeks of wading thru the terrible sadness, I arose from it and was healed. I firmly believe that those two little spirits were given to me just for this purpose, so I could heal, and let myself fully enjoy this beautiful son that I have. The Universe is amazing. You will find a way to heal your heart and spirit. I want you to know you are not alone. E mail me anytime Hugs.

[Chelsea]

I lost my baby December 2nd. I haven't had much trouble seeing people pregnant, I think because I prepare myself for it, and all the pregnant women I know are really great mothers. What is hard is thinking about all the unwanted babies in the world. And, seeing Mothers bottle feed. It makes me so mad.
The kids and I have had the flu all week, I finally made it out of the house today to pick up a few things. By the time I made it through the store I was tired and cranky, and there in the food court were 3 mothers and babes with bottles in their mouthes. I almost yelled across the store. "What is the matter with you? Are you not woman enough to feed your baby from your body" I was so mad. I miss my baby. I don't expect to stop missing it any time soon... :crying

- Chelsea

[Rachel Fox]

My heart is aching for all of you. I can't even imagine...
I am sitting at the computer holding my beautiful precious baby boy- he is 7 months old. My pregnancy was an adventure, his father and I were seperated, I was afraid, alone. I lived with my parents and had no idea what motherhood had in store for me. But what a special time- to make this life inside me. The day I pushed him out and looked at him, so healthy and perfect. It makes me cry just to think about it, all that work our bodies did together, all that time with him right there with me, what if something had been wrong? What if I had lost him? How hard it must be, I am praying for you all. I can feel your sorrow in my heart...I couldn't imagine life without this boy, as I know you couldn't imagine life without yours. But now you are living it, forging on each day, with your little angels floating right there next to you, watching you. They can see you, you just can't see them. God has each of you in the palm of his hand.
You are in my prayers.
~R

[ediesmom]

I haven't been to a baby shower in 10 years! And I still feel envy and yearning when I see pregnant women. And I am so full of fear with every friend or family members when they are pregnant! I just don't trust that babies survive!

I have a perfect, healthy five year old, and I am still a stillbirth freak. I don't think we will ever get over it. But we do get through it.

I still feel so much anger and sadness at the loss of my daughter. She is always going to be so close to my heart.

Please know you aren't alone in the inability to let her go. What was her name. Can you tell us about her?

Love

Randee