So tired, emotional and stressed

[oliversmum2000]

I feel so overwhelmed and tired.

My sister is getting married in less than 2 weeks and i still have to finish buying my outfit plus i have nothing for ds 2 to wear.

Ds 1 has just started school and we are trying to get used to that (though he has settled in really well).

Ds 1 has his 5th birthday in 4 weeks and i have to organise his party get the invites out, organise the hall, the cake etc.

Plus ds 2 is going down with something and grumpy and out of sorts.

On top of all this i have hearburn, feel very emotional and tearful, i have sciatica in my right leg and the baby is kicking my right hip so hard i feel like my hip is going to be dislocated.

HELP!!!!

[Spark]

Sounds like what you need more than anything is a big :hug I'm so sorry you're so stressed out right now! :( It really sounds rough!

Let's try to destress your duties, ok? We'll do first things first.
1. That B-day Party sounds like something that can be remedied fairly simply. If there was EVER an excuse for having a B-day party at Chuck E. Cheese or some other kid friendly place (think big ice cream parlor or tiny amusement part or arcade kind of thing) NOW is it! They supply the food and the cake and the tokens for games/entertainment and you just foot the bill. Then, i'd just call up people you want to invite and leave messages, "I'm big and pregnant and cannot for the life of me get invites out. You're invited..." And, really though... who says he needs a big party? Why not just invite a few friends to meet at an indoor swimming pool or a kid friendly restaurant? With a big wedding happening in your family, people might be REALLY pleased to NOT have to go to one more event.

2. Shopping - Get a babysitter or DH or someone you know to watch your boys for you. You'll find your outfit and your DS' a lot easier without towing along kids. Then, once you have outfits, take some time to sit and drink a cup of tea and read a trashy magazine all by yourself. Breathe deep and relax. :)

3. DS2's grumpy/cold - Not much you can do to help him here other than be extra loving. Perhaps loosen restrictions a bit since he's trying to figure out what to do all day without his brother and not feeling well. If ever there was a time for "quiet time" watching a movie, now is it. Then, you can nap beside him or just lay down for a bit.

4. DS1 School - Great that he's loving it! :D I know the carting to and from can be a bit weary at times and it really cuts into your established routine. Can you brainstorm for ways to change your routine? Perhaps making sure that you have a packed snack already to take to school when pick up time comes. Hide it from DS2 until DS1 gets in the car. Then the two can munch and talk all the way home. Sometimes a hungry belly is hard to mother. Just finding the new routine is a challenge, but it's one you can handle. Afterall, look at all the other mothering challenges you've faced and succeeded at? Weaning, potty learning, adding a second child, etc etc etc.

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed right now. And, while my ideas might not be the right fit for you, it might jsut get you thinking about what WOULD be the right fit. :hug The third trimester can be rough. So, make sure you're kind to yourself with all the stresses going on. Babying yourself while you baby others is more important than ever.

[IncaMama]

YAY SPARK!!!
couldn't have said any of that any better. :)
*hugs* i hope you feel better soon and things work out!!

[oliversmum2000]

hi spark

thanks for listening! you too michelle

things are much better now.

my mumw ent shopping with me and ds2 while ds 1 was at school and we managed to get outfits and actually had a nice time - the wedding went really well too.

the party is all sorted - in a hall and we are having an entertainer come dressed up as an astronaut!

all i have to do is the food, but we already have the cardboard lunch boxes (1 for each child) to fill so i am going to get a small pack of raisins, cookies, cocktail sausages and a juice for each onw and buy a cake!

so just a bit of shopping to do.

i also have all of ds1's presents sorted and i have actually now done all my christmas shopping!

so i am feeling pretty on top of things and trying to relax and look after myself and not do too much.

thanks again for listening and helping me realise i could cope after all.
:hug:

[IncaMama]

holy crap! ok, now i could use a few pointers from YOU! LOL you've already done your XMAS shopping???? i haven't even bought my halloween candy! or gotten his costume yet! LMAO!!

[StarCat]

Christmas shopping...yikes.....I did buy my MIL a pair of earrings that I saw that I thought she would like and I am putting them away for either her b-day (in nov.) or christmas. So I guess maybe that counts as having "started" my christmas shopping. I really need to get better at being organized!!! With one child you can fake it but with more than 1 you really need a plan!! :) Claire- Can you teach a class. You have it down!!!

My dd was sick and grumpy last week/early this week. It just makes everything more difficult.

[selazenby]

I'm so sorry for your stress!

I'm right there with you - life is crazy here right now. Biggest stressor - my mom has cancer. She's been fighting it for 10 years - it started in her breast and from there traveled to her bones, lungs, spine, brain and most recently back to the bones and to her liver. So she has radiation every day and is very, very sick from that and will start chemo again as soon as the radiation is finished (around the end of the month). My days all pretty much hinge on how she's feeling/what she needs/what time her doctor's appointments are/etc. And it's so emtotional for me to be in the middle of this circle of life - my mother going and my daughter coming. Hard.

Other (totally less important) stressors:

We are selling a house that we bought about a year ago and renovated and my phone rings off the hook all day about that.

I am way way way over commited to volunteer stuff and have to quit - but I feel guilty doing so.

Jake's bday is Nov 24 (Thanksgiving) but we're having his party the first weekend of November. I really thought about the easy party route - at the children's museum here - but my neurosis won't let me do it. So - I am currently making / painting 30 little wooden sailboats to mail out as invitations. We're doing a Where the Wild Things Are theme and the invites say "You are invited to sail off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to Where the Wild Things Are." I always go overboard on stuff like this - last year we did a ball theme, and I mailed out huge balls with the invite info on them (did you know you can mail balls not even in a box?!) So anyway, I will obsess about this party, and that's just how it is with me. And of course, I want all the work on the house to be done by party day. It's very close to being done (thank god!!) but still a lot of details left to take care of - and that's the stuff that seems to take forever.

I'm trying to finish all Chritmas shopping by the end of the month since I know once my mom starts chemo, I won't have much spare time - then baby will be born and it will be Christmas before I blink. I'm also trying to get baby announcement envelopes addressed by the end of the month.

Oh, and since Jake was born 3 weeks early, I'm supposed to be "taking it easy" starting at 32 weeks (this coming Monday). Yeah, right!

Sorry to move in on your thread here! I guess I needed to vent more than I realized!!!

So Spark - you got some solutions for me? :LOL

[Slightlycrunchymama]

Woww Erin, Im really sorry too ((hugs)) mama. You sound like you have the right attitude about things though, just hanging in and taking stuff one day at a time. The whole 'circle of life' comment amazes me, its beautiful, truthful but also really painful, I understand. Thanks for sharing.
I think Sparks comments can apply to us all, we just need to sit and figure out the major stressers and break them down into smaller, managable parts, recognizing the things we 'can' do things to change and the suff we cant. Comming up with a game plan.
I need to do the same :)
Im glad we have this safe place where we feel like we can share and vent with each other, Love you guys :)

[oliversmum2000]

Hows everyone doing with their stress levels?

DS 1's birthday was a big success and he has had a great time (as have we all)

I am finished Christmas shopping and just need to wrap it (i have the wrapping already)

i have a few jobs i would liek to do before baby comes - clear out under stairs cupboard so i have somewhere to park the pram after walks, but nothing that really matters

I am actually feeling quite relaxed, so it figures that today after ds 1's birthday weekend i get a sore throat and a head ache!!