Seriously, how do you get the TV off and keep it off

[MyLittleWonders]

I think because I grew up with the TV on (I was a latch-key kid and it was my company), it's just natural to have it on. My kids don't really watch more than 2-3 hours a day (like that's something to be proud of :bag: ), but I am growing to deeply dislike it on. But, and I'm sorry if this sounds "stupid", it helps me keep them occupied when I'm not doing something with them. For instance, right now ds#2 is watching a video because he refuses to take a nap and I am busy getting things done (and obviously on the computer). I should just go turn it off and close the doors (it's in a hutch), but I'm just letting him sit there and watch because, well, because ...

I feel like I should be able to just turn off the TV, but I'm not sure what will happen. I've conditioned my kids to want to watch TV (and we don't even have cable ... it's just PBS Kids or videos); I think they need to relearn (or learn the first time) how to keep themselves entertained and occupied.

So, how do you do it ...

[Divina]

We don't have cable, and we have certain times for watching (although we'll make exceptions, like when DS had pneumonia).

It's very convenient as a "babysitter", I do understand that. If you don't have it on all the time for "background noise", that helps. If you don't like it too quiet, put on some music.

[MyLittleWonders]

Music is a good idea ... we do all like that!

In terms of lessening TV time or simply turning it off, do I need to expect my kids to go through a de-TV phase, much like a de-schooling period? Will they begin to occupy themselves more and more without "needing" the TV on for something to do?

Despite the TV on as much, they both tend to be pretty creative ... I'm hoping to expand that creativity and imagination by getting them out of the TV habit (and me too :wink ).

[wifeandmom]

I didn't read any other replies, so forgive me if I am repeating others. :)

We managed to win the TV battle with music. I figured it was worth a try, but honestly didn't hold out much hope that music would appeal to them as much as the TV.

I was wrong!

They LOVE having music in the background. It's not loud unless they are dancing to it or we are singing together. Otherwise it's on pretty low.

We have all types of music, from upbeat, fun kids' songs to kids' Bible songs, to peaceful, relaxing classical type music.

[sunnmama]

I found with my dd that, the more she watched tv, the less she was able to occupy herself without tv. So, in order to have her occupy herself, I first had to get the tv off, kwim? TV is too easy, and kids get lazy--creating their own entertainment takes effort, but in the end is much more rewarding than tv.

So, for the first week, I just made tv weaning my priority. I committed that, every time I was tempted to turn on the tv....or every time dd asked for a video....I would do something with her (we usually read, one of her favorite activities). After about 15 minutes of doing something together, I could quietly step out of the picture, and she would already be so deeply engrossed in something that she no longer wanted to watch tv. After about 3 days, she stopped asking for tv, and just asked for books or whatever. She had "rediscovered" the fun of occupying herself in her own little world, and tv was no longer an issue at all after a week.

We are now happily tv-free!

[MyLittleWonders]

I found with my dd that, the more she watched tv, the less she was able to occupy herself without tv. So, in order to have her occupy herself, I first had to get the tv off, kwim? TV is too easy, and kids get lazy--creating their own entertainment takes effort, but in the end is much more rewarding than tv.

So, for the first week, I just made tv weaning my priority. I committed that, every time I was tempted to turn on the tv....or every time dd asked for a video....I would do something with her (we usually read, one of her favorite activities). After about 15 minutes of doing something together, I could quietly step out of the picture, and she would already be so deeply engrossed in something that she no longer wanted to watch tv. After about 3 days, she stopped asking for tv, and just asked for books or whatever. She had "rediscovered" the fun of occupying herself in her own little world, and tv was no longer an issue at all after a week.

We are now happily tv-free!

Man that's encouraging! :D Thanks

[sweetc]

I think that the summer is the best time to do it - the weather is nice. Get outside during the time they would usually turn it on. Or, find a way for them to help you with your chores - it will slow you down at first, but then... My 3 yo would rather help me fold laundry or make dinner than watch TV. I don't know how old your kids are, so, its hard to give age appropriate ideas. I think that it will be hard at first, but if you get some new fun things to do they will probably enjoy them instead. Bake cookies, give them some playdough, have them build a fort, etc.

I agree that the more you use TV the more they "need" TV to keep themselves occupied.

Good luck. I think its worth it. My house is calmer and more creative without it.

[acrathbun]

we had to cancel our cable. Just go cold-turkey. I know in some areas you can get tv w/o cable, but we can't seem to do that here.

We do have a netflix subscription & get some videos from the library...but no tv :)

It was hard, but I'm sooo glad we did it.

[FuelJetA]

Easy, sell it! We bought a TV just for movies and have since weaned off of it. It resides currently on our kitchen floor. Directly in the way. It is waiting for it's new home...hopefully Wednesday!

:)

[PikkuMyy]

Have no cable and no antenna. Then you can only watch dvds and videos.

[Trishy]

We just cut out the TV. I tried to limit my TV but on channels like Nick, Noggin and Disney one show just melts into another. I also noticed that the TV really was bringing out bad behavior in ds1. I cut it out, cold turkey. The only time the TV came on was after dh came home at night and that was after supper. This weekend I started allowing ONE video a day, but I let him pick which one. Sometimes it is something short, like Veggie Tales, and sometimes something long, like A Bug's Life. The rule is one video and then the TV goes back off afterwards. I still am seeing a lot of restistance and whining, especially after dh put Noggin on when I took a nap on Sunday :hopmad but for the most part he understands and moves onto another activity. Best of luck to you, it is really hard to break away from!

[PuppyFluffer]

Put it in the garage, the basement, the closet, the county dump but just get it gone!

But that is easy for me to say because I have never owned a tv in my entire adult life and I'm the other side of mid 30's. My kid can entertain herself for an hour with her stuffed aniumals and her books. She has a complex imagination and can play independently while I do things.

Also, if you get rid of the tv, maybe you can bring your kids into household activities more. Maybe you can get little hands helping with laundry? or watering the garden, or sweeping the floor.....If you are a neat freak, that won't work because it's more work to get the job done when kids are "helpin" but it teaches them so much.....and really, our kids are here to teach us as well. Slowing down to enjoy a breeze, rolling on the newly warmed clothes fresh out of the dryer, dancing around the kitchen....those could all be construed as messes and time zappers....but they are only little once and it would do most adults good to get down on the ground and play with a kid and forget about the house chores once in a while.

[Sharlla]

Yeah no cable, so now there is nothing for him to watch except sat morning cartoons anymore. I also let him get movies at the library

[azdesertrn]

Reading this with interest... I hope to wean DS ( 4yo) back off TV in another month or so when the weather is nicer. I nearly giggled at the prior post that said summer was the best time to do it- not true for me here in AZ- I am waiting for the temp to go below 90 so DS can play outside comfortably during the daylight hours. Our TV viewing increases in the summer due to the 115 degree temps-we go out only to get in the pool.

No cable for over a year now but we get PBS pretty well by antenna and DS has too many videos. I'm not sure if I am ready to hide the TVs, I do like our weekly movie night with popcorn.

Last time I put on music he turned on the TV anyway and insisted he needed to listen to both at once, I'll have to unplug the TV and try again soon, the 2 together about drove me crazy.

Kaye

[chersolly]

TV rocks! :nut

[amyjeans]

I have on many many occasions replaced the "brain sucker" with some other activities for my babes and haven't had any issues with them. I have no problem turning it off but- its my dh.... he need to watch football. But if the kids are up- its their shows we watch. We did get the tube out of our bedroom and it has been very peacefull in there.
I like to use fun jazz to give a bit of sound in the background.
I grew up glued to the tube, so did my dh. Its us that really have the problem, not the babes. If I could get rid of this one tv- I would be so happy!
The other issue is the computer.
If the tv isn't on- dh or I are glued to the monitor! 6 one way 1/2 a dozen the other!
We have some work ahead of us!

[stillnominivan]

I think it helped that the tv was in our bedroom and not in the main part of the house.

[julielenore]

My oldest two are only allowed to watch tv between 7-8pm on weekdays and this is if all their other things are done (chores, homework etc) It sounds controlling, but here in Ontario, even the public broadcaster has 12 hours of childrens programming a day and though it is better programming than on cable channels it is still way too much IMO.
My youngest two do not watch tv.

[Llyra]

The thing that worked for us was to physically remove the television set. If you don't want to throw it away completely, then put it in an out of the way area of the house like the laundry room or something, with no comfortable place to sit while watching. And then get outside.

I think you can probably expect an adjustment period. And there will be times that will be rough, like the times of the day when the kids get really clingy or when you really need to get dinner on the table. Just hold firm, and new habits will fall into place.

It's important to keep firmly in your mind that kids CAN and WILL find other ways to occupy their time, given the chance. It IS possible. Try to hold onto that idea when it gets hard.

Chersolly, I'm sure the OP found your comments very helpful. (my tongue is wedged firmly in my cheek.)

[mbhf]

i haven't read the other replies so forgive me if i'm repeating others..

we just moved the tv.
for a while it was in the living room. and as soon as he learned to turn it on, it was on. i grew up with the tv on all of the time. i mean seriously all of the time. my dad usually turned it off when he went to bed, and if he was the last person to leave the house he turned it off, but otherwise it was on.

we moved the tv into one of the extra bedrooms with a couple of chairs and a bunch of the kids stuff and a bed. now we go up 1/2 an hour before naptime, and my toddler can play or watch 30 minutes of a video while i nurse the baby to sleep, and then we turn it off and lay down for a nap. its great wind down time, and honestly he doesnt miss it. he's only 28 months though, so it might not work quite as well with an older kid.

out of sight out of mind kind of thing.

[kewb]

There was a period when I felt they were watching too much. I cut back on it. They got over it. There were a few days of "Why can't we turn it on?" Once I held firm (in the past I had not) for a week they stopped asking for it. They know when they are allowed and when they are not allowed and they should not bother asking (unless I am out and dad is watching-he often lets them watch unless I leave specific instructions to not let them).

[MyLittleWonders]

Though I don't think I'm ready to physically move the TV, it is in a nice hutch with doors that close ... I think I'll close the doors and then put a cabinet lock on it so that dh and I are really the only two that can open it.

My goal this week is no TV during daylight hours. We do like watching something on PBS - Nature, National Geographic, etc - at night if it's on, or the end of a baseball game ...

So far I'm doing good. In conjunction with our conquer-the-toys issue, I bought each boy a canvas toy-box (like a 14" cube) and they can fill it with their pick of toys from the garage. Well, right now ds#2 is up and ds#1 is still sleeping. Normally ds#2 would be watching TV, but instead he's playing with his cube of toys. :D

[meowmix]

I cut mine down to 30 minutes a day, then cut it down to only days we didn't have any playgroups, playdates and now we haven't watched it in months. They whined and complained alot of first, they asked to turn the TV on. I just said no and suggested other things for them to do and now they only ask occasionally- usually they ask to watch a movie.

Sure, some days I go a little crazy, but I don't ever think about turning on the TV. I only really go crazy on the days where we've had kind of a crappy morning and they won't take a nap (like today *sigh*). But I don't wish for a TV to turn on, I just wish I could escape for an hour or so!

When the kids quit watching TV, my husband and I also cut our TV viewing down and moved the TV into our bedroom. We watch a couple times a week and a movie here and there. But the TV is out of sight and out of mind for the children. I would like to get rid of it altogether. As a child, my parents restricted what I could watch and probably how much I had it on. I don't remember watching lots of TV. But my husband grew up watching as much and WHATEVER he wanted. He was like 4 yrs old and watching horror movies
(which just horrifies me! heh) and his dad literally kept the TV on 24-7.. really. Even when we visit them now it is on all day and all night. So cutting the TV out completely is a tough job for my husband. So it's a compromise. But it can be done with kids! There is so much else they could be doing besides watch TV- my kids build with their blocks and play with their toys, they help me with housework, we go outside alot, etc etc etc.. Good luck!

[lilyka]

We started by being busy. out of the house away from the tube busy. Once it went on it was hard to get off. we went almost cold turkey allowing 1 video a day. now we don't even do that (they are too busy playing) They are allowedan all out feast on Saturdays bu twe don't get cable so even then choices and amouth of air time is limited. they watch roughly 3h ours on saturday morning. if they get up and out of bed. they have rolled out of bed right as the last show was ending. Also if I am ready for itt o be off without whining we pick up and run an errend of some sort.

I don't recal when we actually did it. I htink it might have happened when the new baby was born. for some reason it seems like there was no withdrawal.

[medeanj]

I also got rid of the cable and analog antenna, we only use the TV for Netflix, and even then it is only once a week, if we are lucky.

We have 15mo b/g twins and they have never watched television. They are perfectly content to sit in the playroom and play either independently or together (with a few fights in between).

I was a big TV junkie and the withdrawal at first was really hard. But after about 3 weeks my DH was debating on getting cable and I said, 'Let's give it another week.' We have not turned back since.

There are a couple of ways to go about this.

1. Go cold-turkey, get rid of the cable altogether.

2. Get local channels only. Cable companies are required to provide this service, though they do not like to publicize and the cost is minimal. Not to mention there is less choices.

Some suggestions to keep them occupied (depending on their ages)

1. Fall time is another great time to spend with the kids to take them out on nature walks, raid a pumpkin patch, go pick apples.

2. Set aside a box of old clothing for pretending. Same goes for pots, pans, utensils that you do not often use and non-breakable dish/drinkware. Use empty and clean boxes and containers to stock up on their little general store.

3. Make chores fun! Have kids help you strip the bed, separate the clothes, sweep the floor. Case and point my 14mo dd loves to empty the laundry basket and hand me clothing. She gives me an item, I tell her what it is and which drawer it goes into. Monkey see, monkey do.

4. Help you cook/bake. It's a messy job, but who says that being messy can't be fun?

5. Late in the season now, but start a garden. You can begin as early as mid-winter, when vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage, collards, tomatoes, peppers, etc. need extra time to germinate in seedling trays to transplant later when spring begins. It does not have to be big. Consider creating something called a square foot garden, which in a children's garden case, is a raised bed that is 3 x 3 evenly divided into 9 1sqft squares. Each square would grow a variety of vegetable or herbs. There is a great easy-to-read book by Mel Bartholomew on the subject, which is virtually available in any library and it covers how start a child's garden. Not only is it fun to grow, it also teaches them responsibility (i.e. maintaining), math (how many plants do I put in a square), science (how things grow).

6. Art supplies. 'Nuff said.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes!

-Lisa

[Frogmorest]

I love watching tv.. the only shows I like though are on AFTER the kidlets are in bed!

So what we did was move the tv to our bedroom... I watch about 1 hour of tv a night and the kids DO NOT MISS watching tv all the time at all. The never did have to go through an adjustment period or anything of the sort. If I need a nap in the afternoon, they get to watch a bit... or if they are absolutely wiped and want to watch I'll let them. It's not a big part of our everyday life anymore and for that I am so glad.

[meemee]

it isnt tv is the evil one. cable and shows are. we have a tv and my dd watches her dvd/videos once in a while and i sit with her to watch together. we have mommy movies and little girlie movie times. she sometimes joins me sometimes not. but we watch maybe one or two shows at a time. now if i had cable and got hooked on the shows guess what kind of picture i would be painting for my child.

in our house tv is too much of a fun tool as well as a learning tool to completely do without. it is just one of the activities amongst all the others we have in our house.

and tv in our house is a doing together activity. reading books or dress up or bean tub is mommy doing other things time.

[octobermom]

We don't banish TV we do screen content everything my DD watches is prerecorded (DVR) buy I don't limit her time. WHat we do instead is keep busy with other activities so the TV just isn't a pirority.
I will admit though we see more during the summers I'll be glad when the tempetures finially start to drop were all getting cabin fever here. :irked:
Deanna

[Trinitty]

Congrats on wanting to quit!

We went from cable, to rabbit ears to nothing, and it's the best decision we ever made... well, next to getting married!

It's really easy once you kick the habit. Just get rid of the signal, keep the TV for movies that you own and rent if you like, but, it's really that simple.

This is a really good site:

http://www.tvturnoff.org/

This one is kinda angry:

http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/

There's a "Mamas of TV Free rollcall" or something like that in the Finding your Tribe area.

Good luck!

[sunnmama]

it isnt tv is the evil one. cable and shows are.

For some children, it is actually the tv (or the computer...or whatever). For dd (who only watched pbs or videos when she did watch tv), *any* screen time would affect her behavior. After watching, she would be more irritable, demanding, tantrumy, etc. After we unplugged her (no tv or computer--except microsoft word for typing words), she morphed into a calmer, happier child. She still has her days of intensity and tantrums, lol, but overall a calmer, happier child :thumb .

I think that these things affect different children/people differently, but I now wonder how much tv/computers/video games contributes to all of the diagnosable behavior problems we see in society today :(

[MyLittleWonders]

For some children, it is actually the tv (or the computer...or whatever). For dd (who only watched pbs or videos when she did watch tv), *any* screen time would affect her behavior. After watching, she would be more irritable, demanding, tantrumy, etc. After we unplugged her (no tv or computer--except microsoft word for typing words), she morphed into a calmer, happier child. She still has her days of intensity and tantrums, lol, but overall a calmer, happier child :thumb .

I think that these things affect different children/people differently, but I now wonder how much tv/computers/video games contributes to all of the diagnosable behavior problems we see in society today :(

That is completely how it is right now with my older son (4). He zones out during the TV and then throws a tantrum when I turn it off, and we have to deal with that fall-out for a while. My hope is that the behavior will change as we cut out the TV.

I've only read the first half or so of The Plug In Drug and need to start again from the beginning, but I remember something in there too about the negative affect of TV, no matter WHAT it was, on children's behavior. I have to go look that part up again.

Yesterday we did pretty good ... the TV only came on after ds#2 (1 1/2) was asleep for his nap and I needed to rest. So, ds#1 watched some TV while I did that. But once awake, we turned it off and it didn't come on again until about 7:30'ish ... Gramma was over to watch the boys and I told her she could watch a special movie with them.

Right now ds#1 is on the couch ("waking up") asking for TV ... so I'm going to get in the shower and take them on errands ... he has friends coming over today, and I plan on keeping the darn thing off all day if possible ... wish me luck!

[EnviroBecca]

Just wanted to mention, as an addition to the suggestion about music :thumb, that when I was a little kid I had my own portable tape recorder. In addition to music, it could be used to play story tapes that went with a book. I also used it to record myself or other sounds and play back. Hours and hours and hours of fun!

[phathui5]

Our TV is also in mine and dh's bedroom. Nobody in our house watches TV on weekdays (unless dh is watching football). Usually on Friday nights we end up watching a movie and if we're not doing anything else on Saturday morning we watch the Time Warp Trio and that animal show that comes after it.

Oh, we also keep it unplugged so the kids can't turn it on without us.