midwife said something sort of disheartening today.

[IncaMama]

i had my 28wk appt today and met with a new midwife (not new to the practice, i mean i'd never met her before). minniemouse - it was Gazelle, don't know if you remember who she is...

anyway, DH mentioned that i was still nursing (we were talking about sibling classes and he wanted to know if they talked about tandem nursing) and Gazelle at first said "oh you're still nursing? bless your heart" which was nice...but then she sad "it's none of my business, and it's your decisions, but..." and i braced myself for it. :(

she said that now would be the perfect time to wean DS since he's already 2 and can understand limits, etc...and since i have no more milk anyway...etc etc etc...so DH got worried since this was something he'd been worrying about before and said "is it bad for the baby? will she get enough milk?" and Gazelle did add that it's postive for everybody...both the toddler and the baby will get plenty of milk, it's great for both of them...but it's really really really taxing on the mother and she's protective of the mother in this instance.

so while it wasn't altogether negative and DH said that he still supports me 100% in my decision (yay DH - that means a lot to me), i wish she had been a bit more positive about it. i was pretty surprised to hear it from her, actually...

Minniemouse - have you had any experiences like that with Gazelle? otherwise i LOVED her - so nurturing and sweet and talking to my belly so sweetly...

anyway, i'm a bit saddened by the experience but trying to just get over it. LOL

[tryingitnatural]

I know this probably won't make you feel any better but it sounds like she was just concerned about you. I've always heard that breastfeeding takes a lot of energy from mom (i am preggo with my first - I will know first hand soon :-) I am glad that she respects you enough to have spoken her peace and let you decide. I hope that you feel better about her b/c she sounds great- anybody that would talk sweetly to a pregnant belly deserves a chance -lol-jmo

[AmandaBL]

I think that was out of line, being that you didn't bring up any problems or concerns in regards to the todler's nursing. IMHO there's never a PERFECT time to wean until the child does it. Sometimes it's better for the mom to wean, but I don't think that's what you're feeling. Hopefully her comment doesn't undermine what sounds like a good & successfull nursing relationship for both of you.

[littleteapot]

That was completely out of line. "Concerned" or not, as a midwife with mother and baby health in mind she should sooner suggest techniques to help you cope IF you had trouble then to suggest you wean.

[hottmama]

That would really irritate me. Your child is only 2, now is not the perfect time to wean, except on the off-chance that he suddenly decides he's had enough (and even then, he'd likely start again in December). My son is 32 mos. and I have had too many "care" providers say that he's old enough to wean for my good over the past year or so (like my GP who said I should wean when he turned two so I could get back on my migraine RX, or the dr. who I saw to get antibiotics for strep who told me I should start weaning since I was TTC). It just drives me nuts! Let me tell you, when my son woke up at 5 am this morning, I was sure glad I could nurse him back to sleep (after 2 hours, but still- without it, we would've been up for the day).

[MinnieMouse]

Michele...

I've only had one appt w/ Gazelle. She is "new" to the center since Beth was born. In our one appt I did really like her and in my larger online/IRL group of moms (the local FNLP group) the TBC moms that I know there really like her on the whole as well.

I saw her after I had this breathing episode where "they" (my allergist and primary) thought I had an asthma attack. Gazelle was great, talked me through the meds I had to take for my allergies and was VERY knowledgable about them (she shared that she had asthma) ..what was safe/not safe, etc. She was also really great w/ Beth..involved her in the appt, etc.

Although I am surprised at her comments...based on what I have heard about her.. I think you can take what she said as her opinion and go on doing what you are.

No one caregiver is going to be "perfect" and align their views right in sync w/ our own. From what you have shared, it sounds like she shared her opinion about it but didn't press you...especially when both you and your dh questioned further.

To be honest... you should be glad it wasn't Nancy who you had the discussion w/. IME, out of all the midwives she tends to be the most alarmist/medical out of the group. Although she was great w/ Beth's birth.... the transfer, etc... I still am the least comfy w/ her and cringe a bit when I get her on the phone or have an appt w/ her.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Betsey and Denise is great as well. I haven't had any appt w/ Peggy this time around..not sure if she's still seeing patients is she? And lastly the new midwife, Julia... I have an appt scheduled w/ her two days before my EDD ..so who knows if I will ever see her.

Have you scheduled the rest of your appts yet? I was there last Wed and they had just opened up November for scheduling so I got all of mine in.

Not sure if that helps any. FWIW, we came close to tandem nursing as well. Beth was nursing until we went on vacation in the beginning of April... we found out we were preggo ON our trip. With the distractions of being away and doing stuff all the time, Beth didn't ask to nurse the entire time and then we just never started again when we came home. BUT... Beth was 3.5yo..not 2. I would still continue nursing if I was you.... especially if you have the support of your DH and feel strongly about it.

Hugs

[ldsapmom]

No one caregiver is going to be "perfect" and align their views right in sync w/ our own. From what you have shared, it sounds like she shared her opinion about it but didn't press you...especially when both you and your dh questioned further.I agree with this --it sounds as though this was only her opinion and not really based on fact. The facts state, your body will take care of your unborn baby first. And as far as being taxing, for us it was a lifesaver as I could get my son to nap with me when I was so tired just by nursing him in our bed. And after baby was born I felt it really saved us time and allowed us all to share in a wonderful bonding experience -- we almost always nursed together, even lying down.

For me it was something that allowed me to get more time to rest my bones and keep track of my babies!

[spiralmg]

It's nice to read this thread. We are still nursing (DS is 2 and 3 mo) but oh so little. But my midwives and others pretty much keep telling me that I should stop. In my case they are worried about preterm labor as DS was born a month early...but it wasnt' typical because my water broke first (another doctor told me that therefore he didn't think nursing would bring on preterm labor). ANYWAY, I have been so conflicted about this. The nursing has not been very comfortable for me, but seems to be so meaningful for DS, even though he is not doing it often or long.

However, in terms of the nursing affecting the mother physically, I have noticed how much better I felt overall since we reduced the nursing. DS has always been a voracious nurser, and though I didn't realize it at the time, this really was taxing on me. Since I have been pregnant and gaining some weight and not nursing, I have been feeling much more settled physically.

This says to me that maybe I wasn't taking good enough care of myself before - perhaps I need to pay more attention to my diet and making sure I get enough calories and nutrients. We do eat well, but it is really easy to not get enough good nutrition when you are nursing AND ( I imagine) also taking care of a toddler, not to mention nursing the toddler too.

So, I am not planning on stopping. I am planning on tandem nursing if that is what it takes. BUT this time I am also going to make a huge effort to take better care of myself...in hopes that everything will go a bit better in terms of my own well-being!