Bedtime Devil!

[Camiroo]

It's a nightmare to get my 2 year old to sleep every night. It's gotten so bad that I desperately want to move her into a big girl bed ASAP, but I have no idea how that will work, since the main problem is that I CANNOT get her to stop talking, rolling around, sitting up, etc. She'll probably be out of bed every two seconds if she's unsupervised! We've tried begging, yelling, ignoring, EVERYTHING (all of these things make her laugh).... It takes at least an hour every night to get her to sleep, more often two hours. The past two nights my husband has actually had to "cuddle" her to sleep. (This entails simply keeping his arm over her so that she can't get up) She screams like crazy, and I feel like crying right along with her. I just can't keep this up! Anyone have any suggestions...PLEASE!

[SleeplessMommy]

We moved our DS from the "family bed" to the crib at about 2. Lots of difficulty making this transition. He would wail, bounce, etc. because he did not like the crib.

Long story short, here is what works for us:
* Bedtime "routine" was established - by daddy, since we were night weaning at the same time. Routine is brush teeth, potty, put on jim-jams, say good night to (various relatives, elephant etc). Pick 2 books and daddy reads them. Then, lights out and daddy sings the "special song". Mommy has a different "special song"
* Use the powers of suggestion - "we had a long day, we did a lot of fun things, now we are tired" Don't be afraid to yawn. :- ) " I feel sleepy"
* I tell stories about his 2 attatchment objects, and the fun things they do. (Trains, bulldozer, etc.) The stories start out interesting, but then are repetitive and very boring! They don't ever end. If he cries, he can't hear the story.
* Because of hopping, jumping, and almost climbing out of the crib, we got a "big" toddler bed. The success of the "toddler bed" has been due to lots of marketing. We made a big deal of the trip to Ikea to pick out the bed (and a tent to go over it) Assembled it in front of him. Reinforced the message "you are a big boy to sleep in the toddler bed." He places his stickers (potty training rewards) on the bed frame.
* "If you sleep in the big (parents) bed, ____ (stuffed animal) will miss you. " This has been a surprizingly stong arguement!
* All good behavior is reinforced with lots of praise.

Best regards, sleepless mommy

[IncaMama]

i feel like a broken record because i keep spouting off what has worked very recently for me, but it seems to fit so many people's issues right now! my son is 2.5 and until about 3 weeks ago has been EXACTLY like your dd. loooooooooooooooooong time to fall asleep. rolling, playing, thrashing, etc...you name it, he did it.

the first thing we did was to move his bedtime up to an abnormally early time for him (7:30 - he was used to 9:30 or 10). my initial reasoning behind that was because if i'm gonna spend 2 hours getting him to sleep, it had darn well better end BEFORE midnight! LOL it turns out that was a much better time for him, because he was apparently overtired by 9:30 and basically clinically insane. LMAO!!

so that was our first step. then our second step was to make a VERY specific bedtime routine (which we hadn't really had). lights go down in the family room 30 minutes before bedtime. then we get dressed, brush teeth, do quiet play, then upstairs to bed with JUST mommy. the reason for this is that when mommy AND daddy are around, it's playtime. especially daddy. daddy is all about the fun and DS just can't get it in his head that when daddy's in bed he's supposed to fall asleep. LOL

so i turn off the lights, put on the white noise noisemaker, and nurse him and pretty much don't move. LOL it took foreeeeeeeeever the first few nights. like 2.5 hours. but i decided that i would simply not give in before he falls asleep. the funny thing is that if i somehow manage to fall asleep i inevitably wake up to find him passed out too. so my main objective after that was to fall asleep myself! LMAO!!

i've now started to leave the room before he's asleep because i think that my presence was making things a little more fun than i wanted. i kiss him, tell him i love him, tell him that mommy's gonna go now and if he wants me to call for me and i'll come back. the first few nights of that he called for me basically the instant that i left the bed. LOL so i came back. i never once went back on my promise. slowly he started asking less and less, and finally not at all.

so now i lie with him for about 20-30 minutes and then come back downstairs listening to the monitor. he'll babble for a little while and then just fall asleep on his own.

i kid you not i almost had a heart attack the first time he did that because that is NOT my son!! LOL i'm sure you're reading this thinking "yeah, right. she'll NEVER do that!" because that's what i've ALWAYS thought about Rowan...but somehow, he's doing it!

so my first suggestion is to move her bedtime up at least an hour at first, even if that seems insane. just give it a shot for a few days and see if it improves anything...at least maybe you'll regain some of your evening...and re-solidify your bedtime routine (i don't know if you have a consistent one or not, i know we didn't)...and i'd suggest just having one of you do the actual lying down with her. fewer fun people in the room, kwim?

the bottom line is that things WILL get better. eventually. :) hang in there!!! you AND she can do it!!!

[SleeplessMommy]

One more thing about the transfer from the familyh bed to the toddler bed. EVERY time we saw a crib or bed at someone's house, I was sure to point it out. Mommy: "look, ____ sleeps in his own bed."
Dear Son: "Oh"

[Camiroo]

Thanks so much for the suggestions! I think that maybe a big part of the problem is that we DON'T have a consistent bedtime routine.... And the getting to bed earlier idea seems like heaven to me! A girl can always dream, right? :LOL
We'll be putting the changes into effect tonight. Wish me luck!