Are we cosleepers a Sub culture?

[ilovemybabe]

How many here are cosleepers, how many are not? Are we a big population or just an "abnormality" ARG!

Poll?

[shelbean91]

I currently have dd in a toddler bed next to ours, and ds1 and ds2 are in my bed w/dh. The 2 older kids start the night in their bed (bunk bed, but share the bottom)- I stay with them until they fall asleep. Ds2 still starts in our bed. When I'm confident of his ability to get off the bed safely, I'll have him stay in with the older 2 (it's full size bed on the bottom).

[FreeRangeMama]

We cosleep with a 4 yo, a 2 yo, and a 5 mo old. I don't see this changing any time soon as there is nowhere else for anyone to sleep. We love it and they love it.

[Bleu]

Yes, I agree with the perception that even though co-sleeping is the global norm, in the US it has elements of being a subculture. Especially among conscious, deliberate co-sleepers who think and read about it and practice parenting that is not mainstream.

And yeah, we co-sleep. It's very nice.

[octobermom]

We coslept full time for 20 months when she self weaned and shes still welcomed if she needs us.Considering this is a family bed support board I think you'll find we "all" cosleep in some form :LOL

Deanna

[Sharlla]

I did with my first son when he was an infant, this one sleeps in his crib (but in our room)

[Amylcd]

We co-sleep. All 4 of us in a queen sized bed.

[girlincircles]

when i had my first son ten years ago, people thought i was weird. i defended co-sleeping by saying i was too lazy to get up to nurse, but most of the people i had to defend myself to were getting up to make bottles, anyway :(

my second bebe is on the way and luckily i have a partner (i was single last time) who is totally open to the family bed. his only suggestion is that we need a bigger bed :thumb

[Minky]

I coslept with DD when she was an infant. We transitioned to a sidecar when she was nearing 12 months and then to her own room at 18 months. The primary reason for not cosleeping longer was DH was uncomfortable with intimacy with her in the room

I admire cosleepers greatly, I think a lot of mamas have the urge to do it, even mainstream mamas but practical reasons like intimacy and less practical ones like worrying what others would think stop them.

[azyre]

we're cosleeping at 2.5 and it gets better and better. esp now she sleeps through many nights :D I love most of all that I never need to check her ... or i do check her by popping one eye open or searching her out with a patting hand :) She is a "good" cosleeper in that she doesn't move much once she realises all the bedwidth (like bandwidth, another thing that gets hogged in this house hehe) is gone.

[MomInCalifornia]

We don't co sleep on a regular basis, and both kids have their own rooms and beds. However, they are both welcome to be in our room anytime they want too. Abby comes in alot in the morning and snuggles with us for an hour or so, and I will keep Ethan in with us if he seems to need it.

[johub]

I think just about everybody I know cosleeps at some time with their child. Regardless of ever having heard about AP.
I coslept with my first off and on for 8 years.
My best friend isnt AP or anything but she also coslept off and on for 7 years.
My sister slept with all her kids. (everybody sprawled out on the living room with 3 empty bedrooms! LOL)
My other best friend coslept with all her kids as infants, and whenever older children needed it.
I guess I have pretty much thought it is somethign everybody does at some point. Even if we have been convinced it isnt "ideal" or "right" we do it anyway. (my parents never did though)
Joline

[kate~mom]

we coslept 100% of the time with dc1 until she was about 14 months old - at which point it went down to about 50% of the time. now that she is 4, it's about 10% of the time.

we cosleep 100% of the time with dc2.

as for the rest of society, i think a LOT of people cosleep (this from my experience working with parents) in practice, but don't advocate it as a good parenting practice.

[fourlittlebirds]

We have two single beds, a full size, and a king size in our bedroom. I sleep in the king with the baby, and each of the other kids has their own bed. My husband, poor thing, has to sleep by himself in another room because his snoring keeps me up.

Around where we are and among our friends and family it doesn't seem to be at all the norm, but nobody acts like we're weird for doing it either. I think (despite the AAP's and mainstream magazines efforts to the contrary) perceptions about co-sleeping are changing for the better.

[mrzmeg]

We co-sleep :)

Though, naturally, the above poll won't be representative of the culture as a whole, since MDC'ers AP and are much more likely to co-sleep than the general population.

[wendy1221]

My parents and in-laws slept w/ their kids. I think it's kept hush hush, but I think it's much much more common than people realize. I know I read in a mainstream mag, like Parenting a few years back that they did a poll and over 70% of respondents admitted to co-sleeping at least sometimes. Every mom I've ever talked to about it says their child co-slept for all or part of most nights, even the mainstream ff'ers.

[sistermama]

I think it's kept hush hush, but I think it's much much more common than people realize. I

I think this is very true. Mainstream parents are just starting too feel comfortable about admitting it to friends/family.

[KyleAnn]

We cosleep with ds every night-always have...and simply :love it.
My parents coslept with all four of their kids, although not because they were AP, we all at some point just started to wander in, and they didn't have the heart to kick us out. I think is is something that all kids will do, whether or not the parents let it go, or whether they escort them back to their rooms.....????
I think there is a huge percentage of people who technically cosleep, some like the type mentioned above, and some like us. I just hope the ones who do it unintentionally realize how great it is, even if not always ideal.

[kalirush]

I co-sleep, but co-sleeping is not part of my identity as a person...

I think many, many more people co-sleep than consider themselves co-sleepers, even those who don't feel a stigma about it.

So, I do think that co-sleepers are a subculture. But I also think that lots of people co-sleep who aren't part of that culture. Just like there are tons of gay people are really aren't part of the "gay lifestyle".

Julia

[Leilalu]

dd is nearly 3 and still is in bed with us!:D Pretty much started from the beginning.(Although she does like to stick her feet in my pants while spooning me and it seriously makes me want to curse:LOL I don't usually. I don't mind the spooning, or cuddling, but she gets REAAALLLY restless and wiggles for like half an hour.) BUT~~~ all that to say we love cosleeping and might keep dd with us but move a mattress in our room for her. We would make it like a daybed/couch and she could sleep on it at night and come in with us when she wanted to.

Ds slept with us from the beginning too.

I think it kind of is a subculture. Because it is not the norm. I also agree many people don't really know about all the hot debates surrounding cosleeping. They aren't part of the advocacy loop or nessecarily trendy in that respect.

[Momto2boysNagirl]

I started cosleeping with my second son when he was about 7 mths old. Then I had my dd and we had both in bed with us. David moved into his own bed right before he turned 3 and dd is still sleeping with us.
My parents used to give me such a hard time about cosleeping. The normal speeches about how they it will be so hard to get them into their own bed. Then when I had my dd they were worried about her being smothered. They even gave me this silly article from Ann Landers about how dangerous it was.

[Leilalu]

I started cosleeping with my second son when he was about 7 mths old. Then I had my dd and we had both in bed with us. David moved into his own bed right before he turned 3 and dd is still sleeping with us.
My parents used to give me such a hard time about cosleeping. The normal speeches about how they it will be so hard to get them into their own bed. Then when I had my dd they were worried about her being smothered. They even gave me this silly article from Ann Landers about how dangerous it was.

You know, I have heard alot of things stating that children who their parents use CIO have many sleep problems when they are toddlers still. My dd is PROOf that co-sleeping works. She has always liked to be cuddled/rocked/sung to for sleep. But lately, sometimes she wants to cuddle(most times) but other times she will lay down by herself and simply go to sleep. Because the thought of sleep brings on thoughts of security for her. She is not afraid, or feels rejected at the thought of sleep. Her needs are met, she can rest. I think it is so great. I even had friends, whose son at dd's age would throw fits for sleep.

[velochic]

Dd is almost 4 and she has co-slept with us since birth. Dh and I have our opportunity for romantic moments in the spare bedroom (dd's room, that has a full-sized bed) so no big deal there and no interruptions or embarrassing moments. I can't see her leaving our bed anytime soon. She goes to school full time and the tender moments in the middle of the night are my way to share her day with her. It's amazing that she talks more about school in her sleep than she does when she's awake!! I'd hate to miss out on that.

[Trishy]

I don't think it is a subculture at all. Almost every parent that I have asked has slept with thier baby at one time or another. I live in a rural area and have heard more tha a few people say that a baby is not normal if he hasn't fallen off of the bed by their first birthday. Not the best mental image but it is a testimony to the number of people that are cosleeping out there.

[beth568]

Yes and no.

I agree that many people have separate rooms/beds for their kids, but allow the children to sneak into the parents' bed if they wake at night. I don't think those people would identify themselves as cosleepers, though, and they probably don't feel particularly strongly about it.

i do think it's pretty unusual for people to cosleep with infants, because of the fear that so many "experts" generate about it. :(

[moistangel]

DS owns a crib. A crib he plays in while I "wake up" in the morning. Until the past two weeks (when we started this play while mama sleeps a bit more thing, heh, and it wasn't safe for him on the bed then b/c he can crawl/climb...) it was a blanket/clean-not-folded-laundry holder instead of a "crib."

The only reason we even HAVE it is because my VERY BabyWise family bought it for us, and all kinds of bedding and they would be INSANELY hurt if we got rid of it. And DS will have his own room next year (not that he'll sleep there. :P) so at least the room will "look" "normal."

:)

I never would have though myself happy co-sleeping, but if I can smell/hear/touch DS I don't sleep well. :throb

[WC_hapamama]

We co-slept from birth to about age 2 with our kids. We started to transition them to their own beds just before their second birthdays. Younger ds, at age 6, still climbs into our bed in the middle of the night if he has a bad dream. DD doesn't until DH gets up in the morning.

My parents and in-laws were never too keen on the idea, but at least my parents have been very accepting of it.

[sarathan]

I definitely feel like co-sleepers are a subculture! I can't really say I'm a co-sleeper since both of my boys sleep in their own beds. But I did co-sleep with both of them for the first 4 months. None of my friends have co-slept, not one. Not even for one night. It makes me a little sad actually. :(

But it sounds like a lot of you have friends who do co-sleep at some point, so maybe my circle of friends is not typical....

[ladybugchild77]

I have co-slept with Kiera since the night she was born...They even ENCOURAGED it at the hospital where I delivered!!! :thumb I suppose they assumed I would put her in her bassinette when she was through nursing but that never happened! Although my family and in-laws have questioned it, when the baby and I took a trip to see my mother we co-slept in her bed (not enough beds in her small house for us) and my mom was "sold" on the idea when the baby kept snuggling up next to her in the middle of the night! :heartbeat I have a great shot of the two of them cuddlig each other fast asleep! My in-laws are not keen on the idea but they at least have stopped bothering us about it!

[LoveChild421]

another co-sleeper here- I'm one of those who mistakenly bought the bedside co-sleeper and have been using it as a night table :LOL Grey has slept cuddled up next to me from the night he was born- nothing else feels right.

I don't have a set age when I think he should be in his own bed or anything- I'm sure I might bring it up when he's older and then he'll let me know when he's ready.

[westernmamomma]

We cosleep with ds as he's 4mos, and coslept with dd until she was 5mos. She started to wiggle so much that I thought she would like sleeping on her own(beside our bed). She started sleeping much better on her own and slept through the night when we put her in her own space. Ds on the other hand, doesn't like to have his own space at all and spends the entire night snuggled into me, and protests if I move too far away. I have the feeling that he'll be with us much longer.

[baileyandmikey]

dd was in our bed for 2 yr. 9 mths, and now sleeps with us from about 4am on, and ds who is 6mths is cosleeping with us. we only have a double bed, so once we get a new one, queen or king, dd will return to full night cosleeping, it just makes her happier :)

[mandalamama]

co-sleepers are definitely not a subculture! it's just the normal way of humankind. except for America, Canada, and parts of Europe, perhaps a few large cities in South America. does anyone have stats country-by-country? the trend seems to be, the more industrialized the country, the less likely parents will co-sleep. except for Japan, i think.

oh, it'll be so great someday when cribs are seen as the little cages they are, and babes are back in their mama's arms at night :) or at the very least, in the same room as mama. i can see it now, the year 3005, with people looking back at history and scratching their heads, "what were those barbarians thinking?" *lol*

[AngelBee]

Yes with infants and children.

All three kiddies have their own beds they can sleep in if they chose to. Otherwise we have a family bad that Rich set up..........two king beds pushed together! :love I have never slept so good. :D

[westernmamomma]

two king beds pushed together!

I'm so jealous! Wish we had the room for that!