Weight gain <cringe>

[Queen of Cups]

So, probably everyone is sick of my weight-gain-issues by now, but I've got a new problem.

Brief history: I struggled with an eating disorder in college (anorexia), basically had recovered as much as I think anyone ever does by the time I got pregnant with DS, gained 36 lbs during that pregnancy. Lost it all by 4 months postpartum, but then regained 10-15 lbs before getting pregnant this time. There is a note in my file that the midwives are NOT to mention weight to me unless there is a serious medical problem... I started this pregnancy on the borderline of being considered "overweight" by most charts, but my mw says that I'm at a healthy weight for my frame/build (I'm very muscular). I cannot discuss my weight without bursting into tears at most appointments. At some of my appointments I have brought it up to get some reassurance and they've told me that my weight gain is just fine and perfectly healthy and not excessive at all.

So far this pregnancy, I'm 30.5 weeks and I've gained exactly 20 lbs. However, I haven't gained anything for about a month - and according to my scale at home I've lost half a pound during that time. I think part of the reason is that I tend to gain in spurts and then not gain for a few weeks, and the other part is that I have had terrible heartburn lately and just can't eat a lot or snack at night. At what point should I be concerned? Between nursing and being pregnant I don't want to "short" either of my babies, but if I don't NEED to be gaining much weight at this point I'd rather not be gaining. I know some women slow down in the weight-gain towards the end of pregnancy, but last time I had a pretty steady gain through till delivery.

Of course, I'll probably write all this out and then have another spurt and gain 5 lbs next week!

Where are you other ladies as far as weight gain? Are you still gaining, or are things slowing down?

[oetien]

Well,
I've gained a lot at the beginning of the pregnancy. This far I've gained 30 lbs by 27 weeks, I think.. and now I slow down a lot. I've only gained a couple more pounds since then. (I'm 34.5 weeks)

[zjande]

I tend to gain in spurts, too. I only weigh myself at the MW's office so the spurts are pretty noticable. I gained 8lbs in one month, then gained nothing for awhile, then actually lost 2 lbs. & stressed about it as you are. After that I gained a quick few more lbs. suddenly. I've gained a total of about 28lbs., here & there, sporadically. It's hard not to stress about it when you want to be absolutely sure you are doing everything you can do to have a healthy & happy baby! I think though, if you feel that you're eating well & often, & feel good, no dizziness or anything, that you & your bun are just fine. :)

[DreamsInDigital]

26 lbs. as of last midwife appointment.
Some appointments I haven't gained anything and then suddenly the next one I've gained like 5 lbs. I think gaining in spurts is normal. I have through three pregnancies now.

[spughy]

I haven't gained very much for similar reasons - tummy too squished! Also I'm still exercising regularly and I think that has slowed my weight gain, but it makes me feel a lot better so Blobby can just deal; I need to feel human.

I gained 3 lbs in my first trimester, 12 in my second, and now I've managed to gain another whole 2 lbs, halfway through my third. My weight gain totally slowed about 2 months ago when my appetite decreased (um, duh). I'm not particularly worried anymore - Blobby is obviously growing (and getting stronger, ow) and while I have noticed some subcutaneous fat loss on my back and arms, it's not like I'm suddenly skeletal or anything; I too was just hovering on the outside edge of "normal weight" when I got pregnant, and I am also fairly muscular.

While it's probably easier for babies to suck up nutrients from the food you eat, I don't think it's that much harder for them to suck out your body fat and subsist and grow on that either. I mean, we HAVE fat stores just for that reason, right?

I can't force myself to eat any more than I do and I refuse to stop the mild-moderate exercise routine I have (which is not that much, really) so I am making peace with the fact that my weight gain curve is below "normal". I think the definition of normal is just a little too narrow. My frame would NOT be able to handle this one-lb-per-week gain that we're theoretically supposed to enjoy in our last trimester. I figure as long as you are eating as much as you can of healthy food, and not exercising way too hard or anything I wouldn't worry about it.

[MamaFern]

i didnt gain much weight with my son.i was actually 15lbs lighter after my son was born than before i got pregnant.. im not sure how that happened since i ate lots

.i dont know how much ive gained this time..last time i checked a few weeks ago it was 10 or 12 LBS that i'd gained, but i dont own a scale though and i dont get weighed at the MW appts.. i feel healthy and eat well and exercise regularily, so i dont like to think too much about weight if i dont have to.. im not skinny, so its definitly something i could obsess about, but i think its super important to feel as beautiful and happy in pregnancy as possible..i can understand how hard it must be for you Queen of cups, since you have struggled with eating disorders in the past.. its something that probably never really goes away 100%.. just make sure that you are eating when you are hungry and eating healthy food and you'll be fine, even if you dont gain a lot of weight, you and baby should be totally healthy.

:hug

[*Amy*]

My weight gain has come in spurts as well; I will usually gain about 3 pounds rather quickly, and then plateau for several weeks. So far I think I've gained about 27 pounds, at 31 weeks. I feel really good about it, mainly because I know I am eating mostly healthy foods and getting moderate exercise. I eat when I'm hungry, though, and don't pay much attention to calories as a rule (never have). I don't know, I figure my body is doing a good job of telling me what I need, so I don't worry about it too much.

[MrsMoe]

I've gained over 30 pounds :Sheepish: Then again, with my daughter I gained even more at this point! I took it all off last pregnancy in 6 months.

Every woman is different.
Weight loss can be from even getting rid of water wieght, weight gain can be gaining water weight... etc.
No two women can be compared, and so long as weight isnt' extreme, it's cool :kewl

[RainCoastMama]

...what everyone else said :LOL Every woman is different. Different metabolism, hormones, water weight, baby weight, structures, fat reserves and so on. Your body goes into some ancient evolutionary mode and does what it needs to do exactly as it needs it.

I gained 28 lbs with my last PG in spurts. Lots in the 3rd tri. I BFd and was under my pre-pg weight - I had a high needs babe who wanted to be constantly nursed.

This time around I think I'm at 20 lbs but feel heavier than the first time for some reason.

[Slackermom]

I had an eating disorder in my 20s too, QoC. I was worried it would make a reappearance during pregnancy, but my pg with DD was fine - I actually really enjoy the way I look pregnant, because it's completely out of my control, and takes me out of myself a bit. With this pg, I don't even really know how much I've gained. I have no clue what I weighed when I got pg, because I don't weigh myself anymore. However, the amounts I'm gaining seem to be on par with the last pg. I tend to gain in spurts too, and even lost a half pound a couple of times. Last checkup, I gained 5 lbs, so it all evens out. I'm carrying differently, this time, though -- all baby, all out front, so I look and feel a lot bigger.

While the way I look or how much I gain doesn't bother me, I do get bothered that being "conspicuously pregnant" (as DH says) seems to make people think they have free reign to comment on my body. THAT, I don't like, and as someone in recovery, it's like rubbing salt in a wound. No one is calling me fat or anything, but I just don't like people commenting on what I'm eating, or my size, or telling me that I'm being oversensitive. They wouldn't if I wasn't pregnant, so it's hard to deal with now, when it's completely out of my control.

I've been seeing a therapist during this pg for some other issues (PTSD from a sexual assault...which also contributed to the eating disorder), and I highly recommend it. As a social worker myself, I can say that pregnancy is often a bittersweet and challenging time...it brings forward lots of emotions and issues we weren't expecting to have to deal with. I've found talking to a therapist these past few months to be really cathartic and empowering. Maybe it's something you want to look into? If nothing else, it gives you someone to vent to!

[samsmamma]

I've gained about 36 lbs so far and no one is concerned about it (except me!) But my mw says it is fine, so that's that.

I only gained 31 lbs with Sam, but he was a month early.

[crsta33]

I don't know what I've actually gained since I don't know my pre-pg weight, but I'm hoping not to top 200 pounds! I think I was 187 at 28 weeks...last time I basically gained a pound a week from that point until just a week or so before delivery, when I dropped a few pounds.

It really is different for everyone...our babies are already different sizes, shapes, and weights and we are too. Healthy mom and healthy baby are all that matter, and the scale can't tell you that on it's own...which is my excuse for staying away from them. I obsessed last time, weighed daily, kept a food journal...it did no good, I was destined to gain 50 lbs...and destined to drop it quite quickly. So all the worry was really for nothing.

Christa

[Gunter]

I had an eating disorder in my 20s too, QoC. I was worried it would make a reappearance during pregnancy, but my pg with DD was fine - I actually really enjoy the way I look pregnant, because it's completely out of my control, and takes me out of myself a bit. With this pg, I don't even really know how much I've gained. I have no clue what I weighed when I got pg, because I don't weigh myself anymore. However, the amounts I'm gaining seem to be on par with the last pg. I tend to gain in spurts too, and even lost a half pound a couple of times. Last checkup, I gained 5 lbs, so it all evens out. I'm carrying differently, this time, though -- all baby, all out front, so I look and feel a lot bigger. While the way I look or how much I gain doesn't bother me, I do get bothered that being "conspicuously pregnant" (as DH says) seems to make people think they have free reign to comment on my body. THAT, I don't like, and as someone in recovery, it's like rubbing salt in a wound. No one is calling me fat or anything, but I just don't like people commenting on what I'm eating, or my size, or telling me that I'm being oversensitive. They wouldn't if I wasn't pregnant, so it's hard to deal with now, when it's completely out of my control.As a social worker myself, I can say that pregnancy is often a bittersweet and challenging time...it brings forward lots of emotions and issues we weren't expecting to have to deal with. I've found talking to a therapist these past few months to be really cathartic and empowering. Maybe it's something you want to look into? If nothing else, it gives you someone to vent to!


I could have written this post almost exactly...except that I am no longer seeing my therapist. We ended well about 9 months ago. But, I did/do have an ED and am a social worker myself who gets bothered by inappropriate body comments. I am a big fan of talk therapy and feel that social workers are great b/c the well-trained ones (LCSWs) approach the whole person in the environment. (bio-psycho-social-spiritual). Too bad you aren't in NC; we could be friends IRL. :LOL

Personally, I do not weigh myself or let my MW weigh me. She understands and doesn't even ask me anymore if I want to weigh. We talk about healthy eating and good nutritional choices. That is what should matter for this babe. I have had a great ED-free pregnancy b/c I want so bad to give my babe a healthy start. Like jellyfishy said, it's the one time where I can be outside of myself...and I feel that I can live for someone else not just rather I deserve food or not. I know my baby does deserve nourishment so I try to remind myself that I am healthy for the babe for these few crucial months. We'll see how that sticks after delivery. :o

Best to you!!!

[BensMom]

I gained a lot in the first few months, like 8-10 lbs at several consecutive MW appts. :bag: There was one month where I gained 4lbs, but at least 3-4 months with big gains. I was not exercising well and eating nothing but junk.

These last couple of months since I have been exercising, I have gained 2 and 4 lbs. I guess that is mostly baby and no extra fat. Good. I started out pretty overweight (after slowly gaining back most of the 80 lbs I had lost the prior year) and am not happy with where I am now. I just hope that the exercise habits I am back into now will carry over when the babe is out and help me get back in shape.

[eastvillage]

I have been a steady Freddy, gaining 1.33 pounds per week each week since week 17. The second I started to feel the baby move, I started to put on weight.

Everyone tells me it might slow down toward the end, but at 35 weeks, no such luck thus far. I'm up 23.5 pounds so far, and it looks like I'm going to hover right around 30 total if I birth on time. I'd love to stop gaining since I'm starting to look a little puffy (arms, neck, tush!) and my maternity jeans are too tight around the hips to feel comfortable in them at this point (such a bummer - they were my favorite for months 5, 6 and 7.) So, I'm attempting not to stress although I was at the highest end of "normal" at 145 pounds starting the pregnancy - so I guess we'll see how it goes afterwards. Everyone tells me breastfeeding burns a ton of calories! :wink

[Slackermom]

Everyone tells me breastfeeding burns a ton of calories! :wink

Oh it DOES! Trust me! I gained probably close to 30 lbs with DD, and had lost it all within a month. So much of it was fluid, and I literally sweated it off (especially at night...I'd wake up drenched and had to sleep on towels! No one had told me to expect that!). But bf really peeled the pounds off. DD nursed all the time, and my body was using up SO many calories.

[samsmamma]

Re: breastfeeding? Word, as we say. Like I said, I gained 31 lbs with Sam, and within 6 weeks I was down to my pre-pg weight. It was kind of absurd. But I was nursing and pumping like a fiend. I intend to do the same again!

[SonjaW]

I have been a very steady weight gainer. I lost in the 1st trimester due to zero appetite, and gained it back steadily up until now. I'm 33.5 weeks, at have gained an even 20 (as of yesterday :o )

I am so proud of every pound. I think the steadyness of my gain has been due to my paranoia about protien. I really wanted to make sure I got enough for baby to grow right so I have regulated that closely, and my weight has been steady beacause of it.

[MistyB]

I don't get weighed and have no idea of what I have gained...even though I KNOW that what I have gained is perfect (not too little or too much). I also have a long history of eating disorders through high school and college and a scale is just not something that will ever be compatible with my brain, life, self esteem etc. I learned that lesson long ago...basically that I can not have a happy day if I am not happy with the result on the scale. So I stopped weighing and it has made an enormous difference in my recovery.

[crsta33]

I can further support the notion of breastfeeding shedding pounds...I gained 50 lbs with dd's pg and lost all but 5 of that by 6 weeks postpartum.

I continued to loose the entire time I was breastfeeding, but gained almost 10 lbs when we weaned! (I was also newly pg and very green...eating was the only thing that made me feel less sick)

Christa

[willemsmamma]

I was 132 prepg this time (16 lbs heavier than last pg) and last apt (two weeks ago) I weighed in at 161, so that's 29 lbs so far. I really only just started gaining weight since Willem stopped nursing at about week 24 (I'd only gained 8 lbs by then). I'm sure I weigh a whole lot more than 161 because I'm starting to feel sluggish and my belly is growing very fast, very noticeably to others. I didn't see my neighbor for almost a week and when she saw me again she was surprised at how much bigger my belly was.
I don't know if what I had was really a ED but when I was in grad school I would just get so busy that I'd make myself forget about eating thinking the benefit was that I would lose weight. I think it really screwed up my metabolism and I struggle with low blood sugar now... nothing that ever bothered me before. And I did have body image issues after giving birth... at 3 weeks postpartum I was a size 18 (up from a 4 prepreg). I felt like I had totally lost touch with my body. It took a good nine months to start feeling like myself again, although my mama body will never again look like it did before housing my little baby :( ... many stretch marks, saggy boobs, bumps, discolorations and wrinkles. I'm so lucky to have the man that I do because he thinks my battlescars with pregnancy are beautiful.

By the way, from your pics on the belly thread I can honestly say that you look like a gorgeous, radiant, healthy pregnant momma, and your son is beautiful too! :D

[flyingspaghettimama]

I went in today for my 33 week check up, I've gained 20 lbs altogether. It's fine. Mine goes in spurts - I gained about 7 in the past month, from no exercise and lots and lots of ice cream...But now that my daughter is back at school, I've been going to the gym/on walks 3-5x a week again. And prenatal yoga, which feels sooooo good this trimester. The exercise makes me feel much more energetic - they days I don't exercise, I sleep and eat crap food a lot...carbs every two hours...mmm....today I ate half a loaf of banana bread. But it's my birthday!

[Gunter]

I don't get weighed and have no idea of what I have gained...even though I KNOW that what I have gained is perfect (not too little or too much). I also have a long history of eating disorders through high school and college and a scale is just not something that will ever be compatible with my brain, life, self esteem etc. I learned that lesson long ago...basically that I can not have a happy day if I am not happy with the result on the scale. So I stopped weighing and it has made an enormous difference in my recovery.

I totally agree with you on the weighing thing and scales, too!

[PicnicBear]

Thought I would chime in, though a bit late-- at 32 weeks I had gained 26 pounds -- I think that would put me at a total of about 35 by the end if I keep up gaining at the same rate. I'm happy with that -- I don't feel fat at all even though my butt and thighs have gotten fatter -- to me they don't look bad and I would certainly expect to gain fat, after all we need it.

I heard BF could use up to 500 calories a day -- if that is the case I would certainly need to eat a lot more than I did prepgreg when I ate more like 1200 calories a day. Actually, I am suprised that I haven't gained a lot more than I have since for the last few months I have eaten about 2X as much as before -- but DH said he read something about our metabolisms being a lot faster during PG which could explain it.

And QoC, I have seen your pics too, and you look far far away from being overweight . .

And -- I too love my PG body, I still have guys checking me out all the time even though I look really PG now -- I think they think it looks sexy, from the way they look at me. I used to really hate it when men checked me out and I'm still not crazy about it, but I do think it's cool that they appreciate the pregnant form (as they d#*n well should)

[MrsMoe]

I had an appointment today - last appointment was 2 weeks ago - I have gained 6 pounds in those two weeks- mostly water wieght. Have to stay off my feet now and watch my BP. :( I feel so darn fat.